Chapter 9
Maddie Grace
“Come on, Mads.” Nate’s voice is strained as he tries to pry my arms from around his neck, but I hold on tighter, sobbing openly against his chest, completely unbothered by the scene I’m making.
“Don’t make me say goodbye yet.” My tears soak into the fabric, probably mixed with whatever is coming out of my nose, but I couldn’t care less.
“Maddie, please. You’re breaking my heart hearing you cry like this. We’re not saying goodbye, ever.”
I suck in a shaky breath and finally pull back, but I refuse to look him in the eye. “But I won’t see you for a year, Nate. How are you okay with this?”
“Look at me,” he demands, with a voice sharper than usual, and when I do, I see the same devastation, the same ache that’s been sitting in my chest all morning. “I am not okay with this. I wish I were going home with you.”
That makes me smile through my tears. “To my little hillbilly town?”
“Yes, actually, I do. If you’re there, I want to be there, but unfortunately, that’s not in the cards at the moment.”
I want to whine and stomp my feet like a child.
This is not fair.
“One year is too long.”
He caresses my face, wiping away my tears, like he’s memorizing every inch of me. “You’re right. One year is ridiculously long. But it will go by quickly once school starts for both of us. We’ll Skype constantly, and Mase said he’s getting you a cell phone once he starts his new job at school.”
“Okay,” I pout.
His lips curve into a soft, sad smile. “Kiss me, and then next time we kiss, we’ll be in sunny California, where we’ll start the next chapter of our life together.”
I don’t hesitate.
I crush my body against his, and I kiss him with all that I’ve got.
Our arms are locked around each other, holding each other tightly, knowing deep down that Nate’s words are a lie.
One year will not go quickly, but it’s the only hope we can hang on to.
“I love you so much,” I cry against his lips.
“I love you, Mads.” He pulls back and wipes the new wave of tears. “It’s time to go.”
Mason appears, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into a hug before steering me toward the waiting car.
I turn, waving again for the fifth time to Nate, Leo, Rosa, Javier, and Camila.
Camila waves two hands in an over-the-top fashion, and I know she’s doing it to put a smile on my face.
“You okay?” Mason asks as he leads me to our waiting vehicle.
I swipe his sleeve across my face, using his shirt as a tissue. “No.”
“Ew,” he groans, looking down at the damp stain. “I had tissues, Maddie.”
I shrug, unapologetic.
We round the corner toward our car, and a familiar figure catches my eye.
Mama.
“Hi, baby girl.”
I stop short, my tear-streaked eyes snapping to Mason in shock.
“Nate,” he mumbles. “I told her I bought her ticket with the money I saved, so go with that.”
When I get closer, she opens her arms wide, and I don’t hesitate to throw myself into her, inhaling her familiar scent.
“It’s okay,” she soothes, stroking my hair.
Mama may drive me crazy. She might be too controlling and overbearing, but if there’s one thing I know without a doubt, it’s that she loves me with all her heart.
And after hearing Nate’s story about his parents, I vowed to give her more credit.
I sniffle. “I know you think this is just a summer fling, Mama, but please…keep it to yourself today. I’m already struggling.”
She pulls back slightly, her eyes scanning my face, something shifting in them.
Regret?
Who knows. I’m too exhausted to read her emotions properly.
Either way, she doesn’t argue.
She doesn’t say a word.
Instead, she presses a kiss to the top of my head and pulls me back into her arms, holding me tighter than ever.
“Time to go home,” Mason calls, but for the first time in my life, Mama doesn’t acknowledge him.
Her focus is solely on me.
And that alone makes the tears spill harder as I sob into her chest, letting myself fall apart one last time before the car pulls away.
One Month Later
One more swipe of my cherry lip balm and a quick brush through my sweaty hair should be good enough.
Mama gets home from work in ten minutes, which means Nate and I have a short window to Skype.
Unfortunately, I also just got home from the school gym and look a mess, but it’s Nate, and he’d be happy if I showed up in a garbage bag.
Nate’s intense sailing workouts have motivated me to start running, even though I’m not sure why.
I hate it more and more every day, but the high I get when I’m done is no joke.
I check the clock again, making sure I haven’t misjudged the time.
Mama is well aware that I still talk to Nate. It’s the unspoken subject that lingers around our home that neither of us acknowledges.
Deep down, I know she still believes our relationship will fizzle, but I’m thankful she’s kept her mouth shut.
Something shifted between us on the last day of camp.
Maybe it was because of how broken I was, or maybe she saw something in me she hadn’t before. I don’t know. But I’m not complaining.
With Mason gone, home has been easier than I ever expected.
Daddy’s been MIA, working late, which is a relief. The last thing I need is for Mama to accidentally slip up about Nate and have to deal with his reaction.
The familiar ping of my laptop makes my heart race. I can’t run and press accept quickly enough.
Nate bought me a laptop the day we got home. Thankfully, it arrived while Mama and Daddy were at work.
They would think it’s frivolous, and I’d be worried they would take it away.
I don’t know one other person in town who has one.
Mason didn’t even have one until he left for college.
The call connects.
“Hi!” My smile stretches the width of my face, my heart swelling the second I see him. “How did you do on your test?”
“Aced it.” He smiles back. “Mads. You look beautiful today.”
“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself. Did you just shower?”
He leans back against his bed and crosses his arms behind his head, making his biceps flex in a way that should be illegal.
His waved hair is damp, and light stubble dusts his face, but it does nothing to hide his chiseled jaw. I wish I could reach into the phone and run my fingers over every inch of him.
God, I miss him.
“Yeah,” he says. “I was on the boat longer than expected, so I rushed back. I knew we didn’t have a lot of time.”
“I’m glad you did. I miss you.” My voice softens. “I hate that I’m not there with you. I wish I were lying beside you…touching you.”
Nate waggles his brows.
The familiar warmth that only Nate elicits from me tingles in the pit of my stomach.
“Not like that.” I hide my blush and lean back, mimicking his position. “I just…I want your arms around me. I miss the feeling of being held by you. I know it’s silly—”
“It’s not, Mads.”
I change the subject before I start getting upset. “Tell me something new.”
“Be more specific. My brain is too fried to think.”
This is our new thing. We ask one random question every call, learning more about each other than we could in the short time at camp.
“Dogs or cats?”
“Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. One hundred percent dogs.”
“Jeez, what has a cat ever done to you?”
“For one, I’m allergic.” He widens his eyes to accentuate his point. “And two, they creep me out. Like I’ll turn over in the middle of the night, and one will be there staring into my soul.”
I cover my face and giggle. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry if you’re a cat person, but it’s a big fat no from me.”
“I’m not. Well, I like all animals, but I prefer dogs.”
“What kind?”
I don’t even have to think. “A black German Shepherd.”
He nods approvingly. “Beautiful dog for a beautiful girl.”
I groan. “Too corny.”
“So…back to the touching me part.”
I burst out laughing. “No one was talking about that.”
“I want to send you something…something that will help us while we’re apart.”
I narrow my eyes, not catching on. “Send me what?”
He has a mischievous gleam in his eye. “It will be a surprise. I’m going to overnight something to you so it gets there early in the morning, when your parents are at work. It will be there when you get home from school.” He pauses. “But you need to make sure your mom doesn’t find it.”
“Nate. What in the world are you—” My eyes widen when I finally catch on. “Don’t you dare send me anything sexual!”
He drops his voice. “I will, and I am.”
My body heats up, and my breathing is labored.
His gaze darkens, and he shifts slightly on the bed. “Fuck, Mads. Look at you. You like the idea, don’t you?”
I watch as his hand disappears from view, and when his breath hitches, his jaw tightening, I know he’s touching himself.
“Nate,” I whisper, my voice cracking.
“Do you want to try something?”
“I-I…” My thighs press together.
He bites his lip, his arm moving in a slow, deliberate rhythm.
“I promise you’ll enjoy it, Mads,” he murmurs. “Have I ever steered you wrong?”
I shake my head. Of course not. “I love everything we’ve done together.” As the words slip through my lips, I hear a car door in the distance.
“Ah. I think Mama’s home.”
Nate throws his head back, groaning, “Fucking great. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Hey,” I snap when he almost hangs up. “What the heck, Nate?”
“Sorry. It’s been a long day. I love you, Mads.”
“Love you more. Four more months,” I whisper.
Four more months until December, when I find out if I got accepted to USC early decision.
“Feels like forever and tomorrow at the same time,” he sighs, then suddenly perks up. “In two weeks, I have a free weekend. Let me fly out there to see you.”
I almost say that would be too expensive, but then I remember who I’m talking to.
Nate turned eighteen two weeks ago and inherited part of his grandparents’ fortune.
He mentioned things like trusts and investments. I have no clue what that all means.
All I know is that he’s trying to buy me something new every day.
“Maddie Grace, you home?” Mama calls from downstairs.