Chapter 9 #2
My nerves spike, and I lower my voice. “I would love nothing more, but it’s not a good idea, Nate.
I don’t have a car, and I can’t sneak out.
One of my neighbors will be sure to tell Mama.
Trust me, there is nothing to do in this town other than spy and gossip.
” I hear her footsteps coming up the stairs. “I need to go.”
Nate sighs and hangs up without a goodbye, leaving me staring at my blank screen, questioning the shift in his mood.
I can’t worry about his behavior for long. I shove the laptop under my pillow before Mama walks in, but something doesn’t feel right.
And I hate that I can’t shake it.
Three Months Later
November
I text Nate again when there is no answer.
Are we still Skyping?
My leg bounces anxiously, my phone screen glaring back at me, void of a response.
I haven’t heard from Nate in hours, and I stayed up late on purpose, pushing through exhaustion for this call.
For him.
But the longer I stare at the screen, the more the doubt creeps in.
Things have been challenging the last few weeks, and I’m nervous he’s giving up on us.
We’ve both been swamped with schoolwork, and our schedules do not align at all, especially with the three-hour time difference.
At first, we made it work—constant texts, nightly calls, stolen moments of laughter that made the distance feel less unbearable.
But now, it’s hard to tell if it’s just my insecurities or if I have a legitimate reason to be worried.
I hate that it feels like I’m reaching for something slipping through my fingers.
Nate? Are you okay?
I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. I’m sorry.
Please text me and let me know you’re okay. I’m worried.
ILYSM xoxo
Still nothing…
Hey…
Camila: Still no word?
Nope. I’m going to go to bed. I can’t wait any longer.
Camila: Do you want me to call him?
I hesitate, torn between desperation and being too much of a pushy girlfriend who acts clingy and panics the second her boyfriend doesn’t respond immediately.
But their boyfriends aren’t Nate Davenport.
No, it’s okay. I’m sure he has a good excuse.
Camila: Fuck that shit, Maddie. If he says he will call, he should call. Don’t put up with that
A small smile tugs at my lips. Camila has no filter, no patience for crap.
She’s so New York, and I love her for it.
She reminds me of Addie.
Maybe that’s why they’re the only two girls I trust completely.
I know. But you know your brother isn’t a jerk. He’ll call.
Camila: He’s my brother, and I love him. But if his excuse isn’t that he fell asleep or got hit by a car, I’m cutting his dick off.
CAMILA! Don’t even say that.
Camila: Bad joke. Sorry.
Camila: I can text Leo and see if he’s with Nate.
Nah…I’m going to sleep. <3<3<3
Morning light filters through my curtains as I blink against the sleep still weighing me down.
My hand fumbles for my phone, and my heart stutters when I see a notification.
Nate.
Thank God!
Nate: Mads, shit, I’m so fucking sorry. I got roped into going to a frat party, and then my phone died.
That’s it.
No I love you.
No I miss you.
No I’ll call you later.
Just a casual sorry at five in the morning, two o’clock Nate’s time.
We were supposed to Skype at one, meaning his phone wasn’t charged for four hours, which seems hard to believe.
Why not use Leo’s phone?
Frustration creeps in fast as I throw my phone across the room. Thankfully, it lands in a pile of dirty clothes. Then I roll over, scream, and cry into my pillow.
After ten minutes of feeling bad for myself, I finally shower, and when I get out, I see a missed call.
Nate.
I ring him back immediately, and it goes straight to voicemail.
I check the time, and I already know he’s at practice.
Perfect.
One Month Later
December
Today should be one of the happiest days of my life.
Instead, I’m curled up on my bed, clutching an unopened envelope in my trembling hands, tears streaking my cheeks, more upset about Nate than anything else.
I received the letter from USC yesterday while he was in class, and I promised we would open it together today.
Yet, it’s been hours and no word.
Friday is his typical night to go out, and he’ll sometimes sleep late since he sails on Sundays, but it’s late enough that he should be up for the day.
I finally broke down and called Leo, who said he hadn’t seen Nate since yesterday because he spent the night out.
A.k.a. at a girl’s place.
I try to push down my insecurities, a common occurrence as of late, and tell myself I’m overreacting, that college guys don’t actually forget about their high school girlfriends just because they’re surrounded by new people.
But the other night, I could have sworn I heard giggling in the background before he hung up, and I haven’t been able to get the sound out of my head.
My gut tells me Nate would never cheat…he would never even so much as talk to another girl.
But is it really my gut, or is it my heart, blinded by love, desperate to believe him?
College changes people.
It’s what Mama said the other day when I finally broke down and told her why I’ve been so upset.
I need to stop this.
No more Nate today.
A sudden knock at my bedroom door scares the living daylight out of me.
I freeze, looking around my tiny room for a place to hide. Both my parents are at work, and I should be alone.
But the knock…it’s familiar.
“Mase?”
“Yeah. Unlock your door, and give me your big bro a hug.”
I jump off the bed and quickly unlock the door, and without even looking at him, I fling my body into his.
His arms tighten around me, and I’ve been so wrapped up in Nate that I haven’t realized how much I’ve missed him.
This is exactly what I needed today.
“What are you doing here?” I cry.
He pulls back and frowns when he sees the devastation on my face.
“What’s going on?”
I shrug, embarrassed. Mase won’t understand.
Situations like this are exactly why Mase is single and probably always will be.
He has zero tolerance for drama or complications.
“Why are you here?” I evade the question.
He gives me a knowing look but, luckily, lets it slide. “Why do you think? I wanted to celebrate…or commiserate with you.”
“It better be to celebrate. But I didn’t open it yet.”
He looks at the unopened envelope on my bed. “Good. Don’t open it yet. Meet me downstairs in five, and bring the envelope.”
“Why are we driving all the way to Atlanta?”
“Because I’m not in the mood to run into people I know,” Mason says, his grip tightening on the wheel. “Too many questions about school. I just wanna hang out with you.”
We rarely drive this far, but when Mase was living at home, and I was having a bad day, he would drive me all the way to Atlanta just to get away.
There’s a small café in Buckhead that we love, and it became our place.
It’s a two-hour drive, and instead of feeling excited, nervous, or anything about my letter, I find myself staring out the window of Mason’s rental car as the unfamiliar streets blur past, my mind on Nate, even though I know I should focus on what’s important.
Mason.
He’s here for me…no one else.
“I’m proud of you, by the way.” I turn my head toward Mase. “You might not have gotten as far as you wanted, but you had an incredible season. Your defensive line, on the other hand…”
He groans, “I don’t even want to talk about it. Did you see Sanderson transferred to Ohio—”
“Yup.”
“And Coleman to California.”
“Nooo, are you kidding? Dang, Mase. Sanderson was a jerk, but Coleman’s your man.”
“I know. Trust me. I’m totally fucked now.”
“Stay positive. A lot of the players are freshmen like you. You’ll get into your groove for next year and kill it.”
“Hope so.” He parallel parks the car like a pro. “We’re here.”
I link my arm with Mase’s as he guides me to the café. “Thank you, Mase.”
He shoots me a heartwarming grin. “I’ll always be here for you. But you should be thanking him.”
I turn my head in the opposite direction and nearly collapse from relief.
“Nate,” I cry, flinging myself into his waiting arms.
I don’t speak another word.
I don’t make even the slightest sound.
I bury my face in his neck, inhaling his familiar scent, holding him so tightly I don’t think he can breathe.
We stand here, embraced for a long time.
Nate holds me just as tight, waiting patiently until I’m done, never trying to pull away.
“Nate.” I shake my head, still a little bit in shock. “You’re here.”
He’s still mine.
“I’m here, Mads. I couldn’t stay away from you for one more second. I needed to see you.”
The last month of worry rushes back when he sets me back down. My arms cross, eyes narrowing.
“Uh-oh. Someone’s in trouble.”
The familiar voice has me turning on my heels. My annoyance is momentarily forgotten. “Leo.” I kiss his cheek, not realizing how much I have missed him, too. “You’re very sneaky.”
“Had to help my brother out.”
I turn my glare back toward said brother. “He’s right, though. You are in trouble.”
He snakes his muscular arm around my middle, pulling me back into his chest. “What have I done, Mads?”
“Nate…I thought you were going to break up with me.” I shrug, fighting my tears.
Nate’s appalled expression tells me he has no idea what I’m talking about.
“Are you out of your mind? I know things have been hard…our schedules are off, and we’ve missed some calls.
I told you this wouldn’t be easy. That we would need to work at this, but never once has breaking up crossed my mind.
I get frustrated sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I stop loving you,” he says, his voice firm.
“That’s not how it works between us. Ever. ”
Before I can respond, he leans down and presses his lips to mine for a mind-blowing kiss, shocking the heck out of me.
My gut was right all along.
“All right, enough, you two,” Mason chastises.
Nate grins at me, shaking his head playfully. “What am I going to do with you, Maddie Grace Cunningham?”
I hesitate, not able to let this one thing go. “Who was that girl?”
“What are you talking about?”