Chapter 12 #2
“This isn’t about me. I’ll bring Mase or a book to distract me. I have an older brother. I’m good at the silent treatment.” I try to laugh, but it comes out broken.
“Thank you.” She squeezes me tightly, then pulls back, and I see the fear written all over her face.
I don’t tell her it will be okay because I won’t make a promise I can’t keep. I don’t know much about cancer, but I do know it’s never good. In my heart, I want to be positive and believe the best, but deep down, I’m petrified.
“What happens in the surgery?” I wipe my tears, then hers.
“They call it a debulking surgery, where they go in and remove as much of the cancer as possible. After that, I will most likely do chemotherapy. Apparently, I’m pretty unlucky. It’s not common at my age.”
She’s already two drinks in, plus the champagne Mase bought at dinner. “You should be home resting, Camila. You should have stayed in New York.”
Her expression quickly switches to annoyance. “Don’t even try it. I want to celebrate life with my favorite people. I want to get fucked up and have the best time. I could die—”
“Don’t say that,” I snap, my emotions turning to anger. Not at Camila, but the world, for letting this happen.
We’re so young, we shouldn’t even be having this conversation.
“Well, it’s the truth. God’s honest, stupid, stupid truth.” She stands up with purpose. “So when I feel like myself, I want to party and dance the night away. Are you with me?”
I don’t hesitate. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
That has her pausing. “What about your two-drink rule?”
“Fuck it. I’m with you tonight.”
“Oh god, and she’s cursing. What have I done?” She laughs in a devilish tone. “A round of shots coming up!”
I grab her hand and spin her around before she returns to the bar. “I love you.” I give her one last hug before the night becomes a blur.
“Love you more.”
My mind is playing tricks on me, but I swear I keep seeing him…
No, I’m an idiot, it can’t be. Can it?
It’s the copious amount of alcohol I’ve consumed tonight.
More than I have ever drunk in my life.
“Are you all right?” Mason’s concerned voice snaps me out of my daydream.
I stumble to the side, and Mase is there to catch me. “I’m cutting you off.”
“Don’t you dare. I’m going one for one with Camila.”
His brows furrow. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You’ll get sick keeping up with her.”
Throwing up is the least of my problems.
My best friend has cancer, and I’m hallucinating. I turn around, my eyes tracking everyone at the end of the bar, but he’s gone.
This is why I don’t drink. You don’t have control over your mind.
Mase tries to pry the three drinks I’m balancing in my hands for me, Camila, and Addie. The freshly poured ones that the bartender just handed me.
“Let me live.” I push off of him, ignoring his shocked expression since he doesn’t know about Camila yet. Only Addie does.
Then I go and find the girls with our new gin and tonics and smash into a brick wall of a chest.
“Oh no. I’m so sorry.” I look down at the drinks emptied all over the floor and his shoes.
“Never apologize to me, Mads.”
My eyes fly up to a familiar deep rasp. The intensity of Nate’s stare has me stunned until my brain catches up with me.
“What are you doing here?” I snap. “You weren’t invited.”
I wasn’t hallucinating.
I take in his tight dark tee under his tailored blazer and perfectly fitted jeans, and of course, he looks like the tastiest snack I’ve ever seen.
His dumb smirk lifts his lips. “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”
I poke his hard chest, and regret it instantly when the fire under my fingers pulls me in to feel more. “I’m not kidding, Nate. You’re not welcome here. I hate you.”
Nate’s face falls, and if I’m not mistaken, moisture pulls in his eyes. “Please don’t say that, Mads.”
“And don’t call me that. You can call me Maddie Grace or Madeline. Or better yet, don’t use my name at all. You’re not worthy.”
The words fly out before I can stop them, causing me to suck in a breath, shocked at myself with the hurt spewing out of my mouth.
“That’s not happening, my beautiful goddess.” He pauses. “And even if you hate me, I still love you.”
“Don’t.” I shake my head. “Just don’t.”
This can’t happen tonight. I push the now-empty glasses into his hands and bolt.
“What’s wrong?” Camila and Addie ask at the same time when I run over.
“I want to be so mad at you.” I glare at Camila, taking a deep breath, ignoring my overly beating heart. “But I can’t, especially today. So I’m going to ignore the fact that you didn’t tell me your brother was going to bombard me and continue to dance with you until I can’t feel my feet anymore.”
“Clarity” by Zedd starts playing over the speakers, so I close my eyes and begin dancing by myself.
The room starts to spin, a clear sign I need to cut myself off. From here on out, I’ll be ordering water with lime.
“Hey.” Camila grabs my arm to face her. “I didn’t know he would show up. He didn’t fly with us. But…”
“But?” I raise a questioning brow.
She shrugs. “He loves you. Of course, he wanted to watch you graduate.”
“You needed a ticket to graduation.” The second the words are out of my mouth, I know it’s stupid. Nate Davenport gets what he wants, and a ticket wouldn’t stop him. “And he doesn’t love me.”
She rolls her eyes. “Please. He’s obsessed.”
“Who’s obsessed?” Leo dances over with a girl I recognize from last year, one he used to hook up with on the regular.
“Hi Maddie!” She smiles.
I wave and smile back because I can’t remember her name for the life of me, which would have never happened if I were sober.
“Nate. He’s obsessed with Maddie.”
Leo nods enthusiastically. “Totally.”
I turn a menacing glare toward him because he knows everything about Nate. “Why didn’t you tell me he was here?”
“Oh no,” Addie cuts in, her eyes widening.
“What?” I ask.
“Because he didn’t know I was coming.” My ex-favorite voice that’s made me smile for the last five years cuts in.
“Nate’s here.” Ads scrunches up her face.
Camila chuckles, and I shake my head. “No kidding?”
“Can we please talk, Madeline?” He accentuates my name.
I hate him, I remind myself repeatedly, but for some reason I can’t get the words to come out of my mouth.
“You’re drunk.” It’s the best excuse I can come up with.
“I am. I’ve been drinking in the hotel room all day, so fucking nervous to see you, but so are you. More than I’ve ever seen.”
By total accident, I lift my eyes, searching his, and I hate that every inch of me is affected by him. His eyes, his smile, everything.
His stupid, thick eyelashes even turn me on.
And what I would give to run my hands through his hair and kiss his lips.
No.
“Either you leave or I do.”
He hangs his head. “Fine.” He turns and walks away, shocking me that he gives in so easily. I hate that I feel even a small percentage of loss.
“Are you all right?” Addie comes and drapes her arm around me.
I shake my head.
No. No, I’m not.
“Let’s dance.”
He never left.
I don’t know where Nate is, but the heat of his eyes has been on me the whole night.
He sat sipping a dark amber drink in the corner for a while, not hiding his presence.
But as the night went on, the crowd got thicker, and I couldn’t spot him anymore, except I know deep in my bones that he’s here.
Go away.
I text him, drop my phone back into my purse, and go back dancing on wobbly legs. I planned to slow my pace, but after my first and second run-in with Nate, I needed something strong to keep the buzz going.
Camila walks to me, a wide smile on her face. “Nate says you blocked him, so he can’t message you back. But he’s not going anywhere.”
“At least you look freaking hot tonight.” Addie touches my dress and pretends it burns her.
“You’re so stupid.” I laugh. “But I do love my dress. Thank you.”
Addie brought me one of her dresses to wear, knowing I couldn’t afford a new one. Even though Mase gave me a credit card, I will only use it in an emergency situation.
The dress is a black minidress, hugging me in all the right places, with slinky gold chains as straps and a completely exposed back. Addie styled my hair in loose, beachy waves that cascade down my back, while Camila braided the coolest halo to form a crown, with wispy pieces framing my face.
Tonight, I feel like a sexy princess, and I hope Nate is suffering from a royal case of blue balls in the corner somewhere.
“Come on. Let’s torture him a little more.” Addie grins wickedly, pulling me to the center of the dance floor so we can dance with Camila, Leo, and his harem.
“I’m never drinking again,” I yell over Carly Rae Jepsen, singing “Call Me Maybe.”
“Mads.” I freeze at the familiar, deep voice, while Camila smiles over my shoulder at her brother.
“You’re very persistent.” She hugs him, her voice slurring.
His eyes hold mine, over Camila’s head. “Persistent, determined, whatever you want to call it. But I’m never giving up on my girl.”
“You already gave her up,” I shout, throwing my hands on my hips.
“Please.” His voice cracks with something raw. “I’ll get down on my knees and beg. I need to explain.” The vulnerability in his voice hits me in my already defenseless heart.
He makes a move to lower himself, and I hold up my hand to stop it.
“Fine,” I shout over the music. “You’ve got ten minutes.”
“You don’t have to,” Leo cuts in, stepping beside me.
Nate gives him a sharp look. “What the fuck?”
Leo doesn’t even blink. “She’s drunk, Nate. If she wants to talk sober, she can do it tomorrow. You’ll still be here.”
I throw my arms around him. “I love you for always protecting me like a brother, but I want to get it over with.”
“You stink like a bar.” He chuckles.
“That’s more from the amount of drinks that’s been spilled on this dance floor.” I turn toward Nate. “Let’s go.”
We walk out the front door, and when I see Mason making out with a girl against the brick wall, I turn the opposite direction.