Chapter 14
Maddie—Age Twenty-four
Nate—Age Twenty-six
One Year Later
November
Maddie
A familiar knock on my front door shocks me right out of a daydream.
What is he doing here?
Knowing Mase, he’ll use his key to let himself in, but I don’t give him the chance. I run and swing it open.
“Mase!” I jump into his arms and hug him hard. “I was expecting Wes. This is a pleasant surprise. Wait, you have a game in a couple of days. What are you doing here?”
He makes a face but doesn’t comment on my new boyfriend, which is a first.
“Sooo?” I push.
“Madeline.” He clears his throat and audibly swallows.
I pull back to see his sorrowful expression, and my heart drops. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
Mase’s eyes fill with tears. “Let’s sit.”
He pulls me to my bed and takes a seat next to me, linking our hands together.
“Mason, you’re scaring me.” He leans over and kisses my forehead.
“Madeline—” His voice cracks, and the tears break free from his eyes. “Camila—”
“Camila, what?” I jump off the bed in a panic.
He hasn’t said one word, but I can feel it in my gut that something is wrong.
“Last night, she pass—”
No. No. No.
“Don’t finish that sentence.” I fall forward, catching myself on the desk.
He grabs my hand and pulls me back down. “Maddie. You need to hear this. Camila passed away last night.”
My mouth opens, and no words come out.
I can’t breathe.
“Easy,” Mase coos, then takes me into his arms.
The second I hit his chest, a loud sob rips from my chest. My body convulses as the pain of losing my best friend tears through my body.
When I catch my breath, I bang my fists against his chest. “You’re lying,” I shout in pain. “You’re lying.”
Mase sits there, tears running down his face, letting me use him as my own personal punching bag.
“Madeline,” he whispers.
“Whyyyy?” I sob. “Why, Mason?”
He wraps his arms around me and rocks me side to side like he often did when we were little.
“Shhh. Take a breath.”
I try, but it takes me a long time to calm down. Mase is patient, holding me in his arms until I can take a full breath.
“Mase,” I whisper. “What happened?”
His whole body deflates. I know this is hard for him too. “Her ovarian cancer returned when she found out she was pregnant. She didn’t want anyone other than her immediate family to know.”
“Oh my god. The baby.” I cover my mouth as the words leave me. “What’s going to happen to Claudina?”
About six months after our trip to Spain, Camila found out she was pregnant from a one-night stand, something she’s never done before. And though she might not have known the father, she was ecstatic about the arrival of her little baby girl.
“Harrison was granted full custody.”
“Harrison?” I ask, shocked.
Camila grew extremely close to Harrison as we got older, but she’s equally close to her other older brother, Sebastian.
Her biological brother.
Mase nods. “Sebastian…he hasn’t been handling this well and has gone into a deep depression. She didn’t want to put the burden on Rosa and Javier as they get older, and Nate and Leo are only just starting out. The family decided all together that it would be Harrison.”
Oh.
I drop my head. How could this be?
How could my sweet friend be gone, and right after she gave birth to her baby?
One life born, and another taken too soon.
I wish she had confided in me. I would have gone to New York to stay with her. I would have looked for a new job sooner and moved there. I would have done anything for her, to be with her and take care of her during this time.
It’s my fault, I know that, and I will never forgive myself for it. I distanced myself because I couldn’t think straight at the time, and I let it go on too long.
“I don’t want her to be gone, Mase.” I lean forward and scream into my hands. “How can she be gone?”
“Madeline…”
“I want to see her again! I want to see her right now,” I cry into Mason’s chest when he pulls me back into his arms. His chest vibrates with emotions that he can’t hold back any longer.
We stay like this, embraced, for a long time. Until I ask, “When are the services?”
“Tomorrow. We leave tonight, and we’ll stay at my place in New York.”
I nod absentmindedly, then get up and pack for what feels like the worst day of my life.
The weather called for rain, but it couldn’t be any more perfect outside in the city.
Camila was a ray of sunshine, even on the cloudiest days. There is no doubt she is here, gracing us with her spirit, as Mason and I walk into the stunning cathedral on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, where we will say our final farewells.
Only to me, there will never be a goodbye. She will always live in my heart.
I’m happy the Moraleses kept her wishes.
She didn’t want a wake.
Once, she told me it was creepy that people wanted to stand around and stare at her dead body, so it wasn’t shocking when we heard it was a one-day service.
When we walk in, I can see the closed mahogany casket at the end of the aisle, and my heart starts racing against my chest.
I’m not ready to look.
I don’t see Nate anywhere, and I’m not sure if I’m happy about that yet or not. Seb is also missing.
Rosa and Javier are sitting in the front, family and friends surrounding them. Leo is to our right, visibly upset, and Harrison is standing off by himself, rocking Camila’s baby, Claudina.
“I’m going to see Harrison first. I want to meet the baby.”
Mason nods, pointing toward Leo. “I need to see him.”
I smooth out his tailored black suit and smile, encouraging him, knowing it’s going to be hard on him to give his condolences to one of his best friends.
“Love you,” I whisper and walk off toward Harrison.
“Hi.” I place my hand on Harrison’s shoulder.
His head turns toward me, his striking blue eyes are dull, and his face looks washed out and tired.
He smiles sadly. “How are you doing?”
I shrug, scared that if I answered, I’d burst out crying.
“I’m sorry—”
He shakes his head, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t. It’s okay.”
Thankful he gives me an out, I step up and peek into his arms.
“Oh, Harrison.” I quickly wipe my tears, which I can’t hold back anymore.
The only light I see in Harrison’s eyes is when he lovingly gazes down at the sleeping beauty in his arms.
“Claudina Rosa, meet your Aunt Madeline,” he whispers.
I softly brush my fingertips along Claudina’s forehead as she sleeps peacefully in Harrison’s arms.
“She looks just like her,” I murmur.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“Precious.” I stare at Harrison with sincerity. “She’s lucky to have you.”
Claudina squirms in Harrison’s arms.
“May I?” I hold my arms out, and Harrison smiles, placing his daughter in mine. “Oh, I’m so in love with her. I should have realized something was wrong when Camila wouldn’t let me visit.” I should have pushed back.
The second I learned Claudina was born, only one short month ago, I wanted to book a plane ticket to visit and help take care of her. However, all the times I suggested never worked for Camila.
Her family from Spain was there.
Another time, a college roommate was visiting, and she didn’t want them to share her time with me. And then it was too late—she died.
I should have known something was off.
I’ve since learned that no one was ever visiting because she didn’t want anyone to know she was sick.
“Don’t do that, Maddie Grace. Trust me, if you start with that shit, it will eat you alive.” He smiles at Claudina, and my tears fall fast as I hold the baby close to my chest.
“The distance between us was my fault…I never wanted it, I don’t know what I was thinking.” That I had more time.
I lift the collar of my dress and duck my head to cover my face, not wanting to make a scene.
It’s selfish of me to do this today, of all days. It’s not about me, but for some reason, I can’t hold back my feelings.
My mind is like an ongoing movie reel, the nonstop onslaught of emotions and memories flooding my mind every second since finding out she is gone has been constant.
I can’t stop the guilt eating me alive, that if I had put my issues aside, she would have told me. She would have confided in me like she always did in the past.
“I need some space.” The words I spoke not long ago haunt me, and I will never forgive myself for them.
“Hey…”
I wipe my face quickly, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry, Harrison. I just loved her so much.”
“And she loved you just as much, Maddie. It’s why she made you Claudina’s godmother.”
My body stills, shocked at his words. I look up at Harrison through my glassy eyes to see his emotions match mine.
“What did you just say?”
“If you accept, that is?”
“Are you kidding?” I glance down and take in Camila’s twin. “It would be the biggest honor of my whole life. I can’t believe she picked me.”
“She considered you a sister. You know that.”
I nod, whispering, “Same.”
I open my mouth to speak, the truths of my misery wanting to escape, but Harrison is quicker.
“What did I say? Don’t do it, Maddie. Shit happens in life…you needed a break from the family. She understood that more than anyone. You need to give yourself some grace.”
That’s not going to happen.
We’re interrupted; it’s time to sit and say our goodbyes.
Harrison takes Claudina and walks around through the pews to the front and sits beside Rosa.
My eyes wander, looking for Mase. He’s sitting in the row behind Leo and the rest of their family.
I make my way toward him when I stop short, struck by two large photos of Camila that stand proud at the altar.
Too consumed with the baby, I didn’t notice them till now.
She’s younger in one, probably around the time I met her, and in the other, she’s propped up holding Claudina.
Oh my beautiful friend…
Her makeup is done, and her hair is braided just like she loved. She’d look good to anyone who didn’t know her inside and out.
I wish I could have been there for you, Camila.
I wish she had let me.
My gaze catches Rosa staring at me. She looks better than expected, better than I look standing here by myself, tears streaming down my face.