Chapter 15
Maddie—Age Thirty-One
Nate—Age Thirty-Three
Seven Years Later
October
Nate
A loud car horn blares as I cross the street. I throw my arm up, and point to the glowing walk sign, indicating I have the right-of-way…asshole.
All I’m trying to do is cross the street, walk into my building, and see my girl.
“Rough day?” Benny, my doorman, grins as I step into the lobby.
“You saying I look like shit, Benny boy?”
“Yeah, pretty boy.” He claps my back with a laugh.
Benny’s a twenty-year-old punk who shows up late more than he shows up at all. He only got the job because his dad’s been the head of maintenance here for fifty years.
Still, I’ve got a soft spot for him.
He watches out for my girl when I’m away. That earns him more grace than most.
“Oh, Nate, wait up.” I turn back toward him. “Harrison’s driver dropped something off. Your niece’s been busy with the crayons again. It’s at the desk.”
I smirk. “Thanks.”
Last week’s package consisted of thirty drawings of my almost seven-year-old niece jumping off my boat into the ocean. A fear she conquered this summer.
The rest were drawings of Juliette, Harrison’s pregnant wife, and Claudina’s adoptive mom, because Claud is obsessed with becoming a big sister.
I grab the envelope and head up to the penthouse, wondering if Leo is home from his meeting in midtown.
I’m back. Want to debrief over a beer?
Leo: May have taken a quick detour.
I groan out loud. Of course he did.
Don’t tell me you’re at Lily’s.
Leo: I’m not at Lily’s.
WTF.
Leo: Okay, half-lie. I’m there, but in her roommate’s bed.
You’re a fucking idiot. I hope you get your ass beat.
Leo: It was just one time with Lily. No biggie.
Still a jackass. Come over when you’re done.
I put the key in the door and can already hear the excitement on the other side. Coming home to this is the best feeling in the world.
“There she is, my favorite girl. Come give me a kiss.”
Skye, my German Shepherd, doesn’t hesitate. One big lick covers half my face. She spins in circles, tail wagging furiously, then grabs her plush lamb—Lambie—and trots it around in victory laps.
“Did you have a good walk with Benny tonight?” I crouch and rub behind her ears.
Her ears perk up. She loves that little shit.
Leo and I split the responsibility of taking care of Skye, but Benny helps out when we’re running late from work.
After playing nonstop for thirty minutes and a quick training session to keep her mind sharp, it’s dinner time.
“Come on, let’s eat.”
Skye lets out an excited bark, runs to the kitchen, and paws the fridge because, of course, my baby has the best fresh food delivered.
She’s a spoiled brat, but I love her unconditionally.
I feed her, then dim the lights to get a better view from my floor-to-ceiling windows and make myself a plate of leftovers, with a hefty pour of wine after the day I’ve had.
My phone vibrates across the kitchen island, and if I weren’t expecting an update on a job I’m in the middle of, I’d ignore it.
It surprises me when it’s a response from a good friend of mine.
Matteo.
He had to leave the States unexpectedly to return to his family in Italy, and I’ve been worried about him.
Matteo: How is she?
Of course, his first concern is for Becks. My sister-in-law’s best friend. His love, whom he had to leave behind for family duties.
I only know what Juliette says, but she’s finally starting to live again.
Matteo: Good. Look after her.
I will. All good with you?
Matteo: As good as it can get. You know the deal. This life fucking sucks over here.
Matteo: Gotta go. Talk soon.
Evasive bastard.
He’s always been hush-hush about his family back in Italy, pretending he didn’t tell us when we were kids that his family is part of one of the biggest organized crime syndicates.
He kept which one a secret, but it made so much more sense why we were all petrified of his father.
When my phone buzzes again in my hand, I’m not surprised it’s one of the fifty group chats I’m in with my brothers. The texting is nonstop, half the time I keep them silent.
This one is the four of us and our friend Jackson Peters, who now lives in London.
Leo: I just got the best head. Top-fucking-notch.
I chuckle, shaking my head at this idiot.
Seb: How the fuck are we brothers? Keep that shit to yourself.
Leo: Holy fuck, Nate.
Leo: She’s engaged.
Always so dramatic, but I can’t help but be curious about who he’s talking about. I put down my fork and text back, then sip my wine, waiting for the gossip.
Who is?
Leo: Maddie Grace.
My smile drops, and I stare at the phone in disbelief.
Engaged.
No.
My hand flies to my chest as I struggle to breathe. My heart slams against my ribcage and a wave of nausea punches me right in the gut.
I reread the words a hundred times when my phone buzzes again.
Leo: Hello?
My thumbs fly across my phone. He can’t be serious.
Don’t fuck with me.
Seb: Mason just confirmed…shit. I’m sorry, man.
Jackson: I didn’t even know she was dating someone. I’m so fucking out of the loop.
Seb: Why are you up?
Jackson: Can’t sleep.
Seb: Everything good?
Are they fucking joking me right now?
I see red.
Who the hell cares if everything is good with Peters?
What am I going to do?????
FUCKKKKKK
Maddie’s dated over the years. I’ve heard it through the grapevine.
But it was never serious.
If it had been, I would’ve known, and trust me, I would’ve intervened.
She was always too focused on work, too driven, too determined to climb the ladder as fast as possible to give anyone else the time of day.
Exactly what I wanted for her.
It’s been ten years since we broke up, and seven since Camila’s funeral. I never gave up. I would never.
But it was also never meant to take this long to get back together.
There was always something, or some reason, it wasn’t the right time to walk back into her life.
And believe me…I tried.
The first time, Mason interfered. Again. But that time…I understood. Their family was drowning in a crisis that shook them to their core, and she didn’t need me complicating it.
Another time, four years ago to be exact, she had just gotten licensed and landed her first real job as an architect.
She was barely keeping her head above water, trying to prove she belonged.
I wasn’t going to show up like some knight in shining armor after waiting years, acting like I could fix everything.
I know what those early years are like.
Architecture isn’t a hobby. It’s nearly a decade of schooling, exams that gut you, internships that drain you, then licensure boards that decide whether you’re “good enough.”
After that, you pray your dream firm hires you and pray more that you don’t screw it up.
There was a point when I blamed Mase. For not being married to Mads yet, my beautiful goddess. For not having children or living the life we always dreamed of.
But I take full responsibility now, because ultimately, I made the decision.
I was the idiot who listened to his twenty-two-year-old logic. I convinced myself walking away would “set her up for success.”
That loving her from a distance was noble.
What the hell was I thinking?
After I tried to see her two years ago and I was turned away, I took a step back. I thought maybe if I stopped pushing and used some patience…she’d come to me.
Instead, I gave someone else the opening.
Now she’s engaged.
Fucking engaged.
Some guy I’ve never met slid a ring on her finger while I was busy being careful.
I drop my head and bang my hands in anger against the counter, the impact stinging but not nearly enough. My heart pounds so hard it feels like it might split my ribs when I realize I don’t know what the hell to do about this.
Fight for her?
Burn the fucking world down?
There’s one thing I know that will never be an option…and that’s to walk away.
Never again.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
What’s this fucker’s name? How did they meet?
And why didn’t anyone fucking tell me it was serious? You were supposed to keep me fucking updated…what kind of brothers are you?
I can’t do this right now.
I exit the chat and throw my phone across the room, not paying attention if it smashed into a million pieces like my heart just did.
Lifeless, I stumble into my office, pour a pity drink of scotch, knowing wine won’t cut it, and won’t stop until my mind is blurred.
“Nate?” Leo’s voice slices through the haze. “You okay?”
How long have I been here alone?
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I say, my voice breaking.
“I thought eventually she’d remember us.
Remember everything we were supposed to be.
I tried so fucking hard to talk to her, to remind her, but I hurt her too much.
” I turn and slam my fist into the door, cracking it in half.
I sway to the side and catch myself on the bookshelf. “How the fuck do I go on?”
“Here, give me that.” Leo tries to take the glass from my hand. I yank it back, sloshing the liquor everywhere.
“How? Tell me how!” I bellow, my frustration rising. I launch the glass across the room, shattering it into a million pieces.
Skye whines, and I crouch down, murmuring an apology. She presses close as I collapse onto the floor, leaning against the sofa.
My head drops toward my knees as my chest heaves, rising and falling, but it’s impossible to catch my breath.
Seconds later, Skye lets out an excited bark, and I already know who’s here.
Seb and Harrison walk in and silently pour drinks. Seb sits across from me. Harrison lowers himself onto the couch and palms the top of my head like he used to when I was a kid.
Harrison talks first, and it suddenly feels like I’m in an intervention. “It’s been a long time, Nate. Maybe too long. Perhaps this is your sign that it’s time you move on. She never forgave you. Why would she now?”
“Move on?” I whip around to look at him. “You know me better than that, Harrison.”
“Calm down, Nate,” Seb chimes in, and if we were closer, I’d fucking deck him.
Calm down?