Chapter 17
Maddie
I leave the office, weaving through the crowded sidewalk to get to my Uber like a scolded puppy, too mentally wrecked to walk or raise my arm to hail a cab.
Disappointment sits heavy on my chest, thick and suffocating, as shame radiates off me.
I’m worried that today’s display of unprofessionalism will impact my relationship with my new colleagues, which is the very last thing I’d ever want.
Even if this mess isn’t entirely mine to own.
Nate.
My eyes flutter closed as the car pulls into traffic.
Instead of rewinding our disastrous argument, all my mind can summon is my initial feelings: the jolt of chemistry the moment I laid eyes on him again.
The maddening way my body leaned toward him before my brain could scream, don’t.
The pull was too familiar. I was completely unprepared for the impact of seeing him.
“You’re here, Miss.”
Startled, I blink my way out of the fog and realize we’re already at Mason’s building. I mutter a halfhearted, “Thanks,” hopefully coming out somewhat coherently, then shuffle through the lobby like a zombie right into the elevator.
The doors part, allowing me to step directly into Mase’s enormous two-floor penthouse.
I immediately kick off my shoes, walk straight upstairs, bypassing the soaring ceilings and modern art, and beeline straight toward Mase’s room, rummaging through his drawers for one of his oversized hoodies.
There’s nothing better than feeling cozy in a guy’s old sweats when you’re feeling sorry for yourself.
I settle down with a cup of green tea in front of the TV, wrapped in my favorite velvety blanket. I dial Ads, hoping she can come over and snuggle.
“Hey, Maddie Grace Cunningham.”
She’s the only one who could put a smile on my face right now, albeit a small one.
“What are you doing right now?”
There’s static on her other end, and I can barely make her out. “I’m in Argentina.”
“What!”
“I tried to call you before I left, but someone never called me back. Mom found an artifact for an installation, and of course, she needed it ASAP. Had me fly down the same day. So, surprise! I’m in South America.”
“I could call every person in my phone, and not one of them would shock me the way you do.”
“I like that about me.” She laughs. “What’s up? You sound like shit.”
“I wanted you to come over so I can feel sorry for myself,” I mumble.
A sudden burst of music over the phone. “I couldn’t hear you, babe. What did you say?”
I sigh, knowing what I say doesn’t matter; she’s not here to make me feel better. “Nothing. Call me when you’re home. Love you lots.”
“Love, love, love you.”
I hang up, and not a minute later my phone rings. I think about not answering it, but I worry that HR is on the other end, probably ready to fire me.
Mase.
I hesitate, but knowing if I don’t answer, he’ll probably start texting me a million times until I pick up.
I clear my throat of the hoarseness. “Hey.”
Dang it.
I hear the wobble the second the words come out of my mouth, and my intuitive-as-hell brother will not miss it either.
“Are you okay? Why are you home in the middle of the day?”
My brother may be a pain in my behind.
He may be nosy…overbearing…overprotective.
But he’s a damn good brother, and just the thought of him stopping his day to make sure I’m okay has me in a chokehold, and there’s no way the words will come out without emotion.
“Did I do the right thing coming to New York?” I whisper.
“Madeline, what’s going on?” His soft voice causes the tears to flow. “Talk to me.”
“Hold on.” I walk into the bathroom to get the tissues and snuggle back onto the couch. “It’s stupid. I had a bad day at work, and I feel like my whole world is crumbling around me. I’m being melodramatic. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
I can hear his coach in the background calling his name. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that.”
“Cunningham, time’s up. Let’s go.”
“Go ahead, Mase. I’ll be fine, I’m an adult, and I’ll get over it.”
He lets out a frustrated breath; I know he doesn’t want to get off the phone, but if he misses practice, he’ll get fined.
“I’ll call you later tonight. Call Addie to come over.”
“Good idea,” I lie, not wanting him to feel worse knowing I’m alone. “I love you.”
“Love you more.”
I allow myself to cry, feeling utterly sorry for myself for a few more minutes, then I scroll over every rom-com and find a murder mystery—something void of love—and zone out for the next few hours because I’m not ready to face the cold, hard truth of why I freaked out today.
The intercom’s buzzing jolts me awake, echoing loudly through the open space of the penthouse. My heart pounds from the sudden surprise, and my eyes expand and adjust to the harsh light gleaming from the television.
It’s the only light illuminating the space; it’s pitch-black out now. I must have fallen asleep at some point, though if it’s this dark out, that means I’ve been napping for hours.
The buzzer goes off again, and it takes me a minute to steady myself before walking over to answer.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Cunningham, you have a special package. Shall we bring it up?”
Huh.
I run through my mind, wondering what I’ve ordered this time.
Between art supplies and a new New York wardrobe, the packages have been endless.
“Sure, send it up.”
“Please unlock your elevator. The safety is on, so it’s not in use.”
“Right. Sorry. I’ll do that now. Thank you.”
Once he assures the delivery’s on its way, I head into the sleek kitchen and pour a glass of water. Then balk at the clock that reads nine in the evening. I’ve been napping for five hours, that’s more than I get on some nights.
Expecting the doorman to walk out into my space when the elevator dings, you can imagine my shock when I see Mason.
He drops his bag and holds out his arms for me, and I don’t hesitate. I round the island and run into his open arms.
“It’s like barreling into a brick wall.” I smile into his chest, despite my self-deprived mood. “You didn’t need to check on me.”
“Of course, I did. Perks of playing for Philly, now I’m close enough.” He kisses my forehead, then leads me to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.
I’m pretty sure he eats ninety percent of the time he is awake.
“I’ll be fine, Mase. I saw Nate today for the first time in forever, and it threw me off-kilter. I was more embarrassed that the office saw us arguing.”
“I know. He called me.” He finishes his sandwich with a spicy aioli I made the other day, then sits across from me on the kitchen stool, devouring it in only a few bites. “It’s why I came. I want to talk to you about something.”
“I’m good. I don’t want a sandwich.” I roll my eyes, then get up, realizing I haven’t eaten in hours, and I’m ravenous.
“I was going to make a second one. Sit down, and I’ll make us both one while I talk.”
I watch him move around the space, like it’s his own, because it is, but since I’ve helped design the place, and he seldom stays here, it’s starting to feel a lot more like mine than his.
“So what are you being so elusive about?”
From behind, his shoulders tense, and he rolls his neck around like he’s gearing up for a fight, immediately making my hackles rise.
“There’s something I need to admit, something I should have done a long time ago, but I was a coward, and on top of that, so much has gone down in our lives in the last few years, I never could find the right time. I’m not making an excuse, but I need you to understand before I go on.”
“Okay? What is it?” He passes me my sandwich, and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach and can’t even look at it.
“Fuck.” He frantically runs his hands through his hair.
“Mason! Spit it out. You’re making me so nervous.”
“Okay. Okay.” He hesitates. “When you were in college, I planted the seed in Nate’s head to break up with you. I—”
My stool screeches loudly as I push back and jump off my chair, shrieking, “What did you just say?”
“You have to understand I’ve always had your best interest in mind whenever I’ve made any important decision.
So it wasn’t easy. I was trying to protect you.
” I begin pacing back and forth as he continues, “Right when you were going to escape living under my name, you met Nate. I wanted to say something, but I left it be. Then, when I realized you were planning to move to New York, I stepped in.”
“You had no right!” I yell as anger surges.
For the first time in my life, a feeling of disappointment toward Mase makes its presence known, and I don’t like how it’s making me feel toward him.
Not one bit.
“You’re right, but I thought it was the right thing to do, and since I’m laying it all out there, a part of me still feels like it was the right decision. Look at how successful you are. Who knows what would have happened if you had been riding Nate’s coattails?”
I veer back, struck by his words. “You thought I was riding Nate’s coattails? Did you have that little faith in me?”
“No, fuck. This is coming out wrong.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “How could you do this to me? You ruined my life.”
“Maddie,” he whispers. “Don’t say that. I made a hard decision to protect you.”
“Protect what?” I shout.
“Your reputation, your hard work, your sanity,” he rushes out.
I can’t even look at him right now.
I rush off in the other direction, stepping out onto one of his terraces to get fresh air. Gripping the ledge, I bow my head, taking in a deep breath.
“Why are you telling me this now? It’s been years,” I ask, knowing he followed me out here.
“Because I’m a fucking idiot. I don’t have the answer you want, Maddie.
I’m sorry. You didn’t seem interested whenever Nate came to explain, so I kept quiet.
Then we had so much family shit going on, so there was never a good time.
I was too afraid of how this would affect our relationship when you found out. Nate—”
“Nate, what?”