Chapter 17 #2
“He wanted to take the blame. Told me not to fuck up our relationship, the one good thing you had in your life, and that’s when I knew I had to tell you. Because he’s a better man than I’ll ever be.”
That sounds precisely like what the Nate I used to know would say.
“You betrayed our trust, Mason. I can’t be around you right now.”
He drops his head in defeat, then comes over and hugs me tight. I let him because at the end of the day, he’s still my Mase. “I’m so sorry, Madeline. I love you.”
He walks out, and suddenly, I’m worried he will drive home after a long day of practice and driving close to two hours here.
“Wait. You can’t drive home tonight, it’s not safe.”
“I knew you weren’t going to be happy with me. I had a driver take me, he’s waiting downstairs.”
“Okay, and Mase?” He turns. “I love you, too.”
No matter how angry I am with him, or he is with me, we’ve always said “I love you,” so I’m not going to stop saying it now.
Three hours have passed, and I haven’t moved from the terrace.
Mason’s confession loops in my mind like a broken record, weighing heavily on me. More than that, I can’t stop thinking about the sudden intense need to hear Nate’s side for the first time in ten years.
It’s not that I haven’t ever wanted to; I did, but being more afraid of what that would mean for us stopped me. Never wanting to relive the pain I went through all those years ago.
I know my family and friends say I’m stubborn.
But why was I the one who needed to make concessions because Nate, and now I find out Mason, forced me on a path I didn’t want to go down?
What do I do now?
I unlock my phone and stare at my security settings, my fingers hovering over the screen.
Nate Davenport: Blocked.
Do I do it?
Gah…I’m doing it.
Unblocked.
Hoping Nate is still a night owl, I rip off the Band-Aid and text him.
Hi
Good one, Maddie.
The dots are immediate, and suddenly I’m more anxious than I’ve been in years.
Nate: Hey. You okay?
My heart skips a beat. Of course, Nate’s first concern is me.
Not really. I’m ready to talk now.
Nate: Tonight?
A part of me wants to say yes, to get it over with, but when I look at the time, it’s pretty late.
Maybe after work tomorrow. It’s midnight.
Nate: Let me come over, Madeline. After talking to Mase tonight, there’s no way either one of us is sleeping tonight.
Nate: I was already up anyway, sick to my stomach, knowing he was over there.
I pretend to think it over for my sake, faking myself out to believe that I attempted to hesitate.
Yeah…okay.
Nate: I’ll see you in about fifteen minutes.
The second the text comes through, I’m up, sprinting through the penthouse to my bedroom.
I brush my teeth, ditch the ratty sweats, and then do something I don’t look into because then I’d have to admit to myself I care more about our interaction than I want to acknowledge.
I take off my engagement ring and leave it on my bedside table.
Soon after, I hear the penthouse elevator ding, and then I’m standing face-to-face with Nate and my favorite pair of blue eyes.
My heart thuds violently, echoing in my ears, and my breath catches, causing the simple words of “hello” to get stuck in my throat.
Nate’s eyes flicker over me as he runs his hand through his perfectly imperfect, but still flawless, waves.
My body responds on instinct, lighting up from the familiarity Nate’s presence elicits, almost too familiar and yet foreign all at once.
He’s the same Nate, with the same kind eyes, same olive-tanned skin, and those stupid sexy muscles, but his overall presence is more demanding than ever.
I felt the dominance he exuded in the office, but now, with him filling my personal space, I feel it tenfold.
The older, mature CEO, Nate.
The way he stands and holds his head up high is a confidence that was only beginning to peak when we were together, and it’s more attractive than I like to admit.
“Mads?”
My eyes snap to Nate’s. He reveals a hint of a smirk, telling me he knows everything I’ve been thinking.
Embarrassed, I turn my back on him so he doesn’t see my blush. “Let’s sit.” I don’t wait for him. I quickly walk toward the couch and then divert again toward the kitchen. “Do you want a drink? Water or wine is all I have.”
“What, no Diet Coke?” he jokes, and dang it, it makes me smile.
“Drank the last one yesterday,” I mumble, ignoring how easy it already feels to be around Nate.
“Water is fine. Thanks.”
I hand him a glass, then sit across from him when something dawns on me. “How did you get up here without calling first?”
“Mase has the whole family on the approved list.”
I nod in understanding because that makes total sense. The Davenport-Morales family are still like a second family to Mase.
“So…I’m not sure where to start, Nate.”
He holds my eyes over his glass and sips it slowly before speaking. “Can we take one minute to talk like none of this is between us?”
“I don’t think—”
“Tell me how you’ve been. Tell me something new.”
Tell me something new.
His words pull me back in time, to a younger us, when our only worries were loving each other from afar.
He must realize what he said. “Shit, Maddie. I didn’t mean to make this weird.
I know I have a lot to explain, trust me.
But I’m struggling here because I hate that the person in front of me is a stranger.
I hate that I did that. I hate that you moved on.
” His voice cracks at the last part, and it’s a straight shot to my chest. “Forget I said anything. I’ll start explaining. ”
He opens his mouth to continue, and I blurt out, “I still work with glass.”
Nate smiles softly.
I, of course, don’t tell him about my private career, but it feels nice to share something with him.
“That’s great, Mads. You’ve always been so talented.”
I lean back and get more comfortable. Sitting here with Nate is strange, but not in a bad way. Strange because it’s almost too familiar, as if ten years haven’t passed.
Last month, last week, even, I would have never thought this possible. I hated him with every fiber of my being, or at least that’s what I told myself.
Now, I don’t know if it’s because Mase took some of the blame off Nate, or maybe being together after all this time has healed something inside of me.
I’ll never know.
But one thing I do know is that, despite my earlier impression of Nate’s dominant presence, I’m happy to report that, from the few minutes we’ve spent together, I know in my heart that he is still the caring, beautiful boy I once knew.
“Do you still sail?”
“No. Not competitively, at least.” He mimics my comfortable position.
I don’t miss the wistfulness that reflects in his eyes when he answers.
“When we started M-Squared, I couldn’t find the time anymore.
Maybe I’ll go back to it one day. I still have a boat, a better one from when I was younger, and I take Claud out often. ”
“I saw a picture with a sparkly life vest on. She’s adorable.”
He nods, and an awkward silence hangs between us.
“This is fucking painful. I’m going to just explain my side and get it over with.” He blows out a deep breath. “You’d think I would have this memorized by now, with the number of times I’ve tried to talk to you.”
Suddenly, I feel guilty.
“Don’t make that face, Mads. You never had an obligation to listen. I always knew there could be a chance you’d never want to talk to me again. I never wanted to believe it, but I knew it.”
“So why?” My voice breaks, my emotions quickly unraveling. “You hurt me, Nate. You were the one person who was never supposed to do that.”
“It was a lose-lose situation. If you stayed with me, I would have hurt you, albeit indirectly, but you would have suffered because of me either way. You have to understand my only goal in life was to take care of you.”
“You’re making no sense, Nate.”
“God, hearing you say my name after so long does something to me, Mads. Feels fucking good.”
I know exactly what he means, but I don’t admit how much this short conversation has impacted me, how much it resembles something like home. Because, at my core, I might be feeling nostalgic, but the bandage holding my heart together could rip open at any point.
I hold his stare. “Make it make sense. Tell me what Mase said.”
He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Breaking up was never in the cards, even when Mase first came to me with his concerns. Eventually, though, I mimicked his worry, and I saw everything in a different light. You and I lived in a bubble, far away from the New York spotlight that both my families faced on a daily basis, even still to this day. They dissect every little thing about us; we’re constantly in the tabloids, and they rarely get the story right.
Sometimes I have no clue what the hell they’re talking about.
Mase pointed out that you’d be under that scrutiny the second we moved to New York together. ”
“I’ve gone through enough to know I could have handled that. Why didn’t you ever talk to me?” I ask tightly.
He closes his eyes briefly, rubbing his temples.
“You hated living in Mase’s shadow, Maddie.
This would have been ten times worse, and it wouldn’t have only affected you personally; it would have affected your whole career.
Something you worked so fucking hard for, and I knew I couldn’t be the reason they took away your credibility.
Every job you ever got would have not only been second-guessed by the public, but also by your colleagues. ”
“So you broke up with me because you thought I couldn’t take the heat?” I grind out, annoyance crawling up hard and fast.
“It wasn’t about taking the heat. It was about making sure you had the opportunity to build a life of your own, so you could achieve everything you ever wanted without having to second-guess whether you deserved your success or gained it because of me.
Do you remember when you got accepted into that internship, and you told me the man knew who I was? ”