ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛𝟟
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I don't think I ever really fell asleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, I would dream of today going just how I liked it.
Where I made it to Judge Johnson on time, and somehow made it to Ralph's meeting afterward.
Where Cameron never found out I had almost chosen something else.
My eyes slowly drifted toward the clock.
6:12 a.m.
I had exactly eight minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off.
There was something deeply irritating about waking up before your alarm. It felt like losing.
I let out a slow breath and stared at the ceiling. Today wasn't going to be impossible.
I absolutely refused to call it impossible because Dixie West did not believe in impossible.
She believed in calendars, timing, and planning. If two things overlapped, she adjusted. She'd moved pieces around until everything fit.
That was literally what lawyers did.
So why...
Just why couldn't I make this fit?
I squeezed my eyes shut again. Judge Johnson's interview was at twelve o'clock.
There was only going to be one conversation with Justin Deyes. One opportunity to prove to Ted that maybe, just maybe, he had been wrong to replace me.
The two events shouldn't have been competing with one another.
One belonged to my career, while the other belonged to my husband. Some cruel little part of the world had simply decided they deserved the exact same Thursday.
I turned onto my side.
Cameron was still asleep beside me.
He looked fine, honestly.
A small crease sat between his eyebrows even in sleep, but compared to the last few days, this was peaceful.
I watched him for longer than I probably should have.
A few strands of dirty blonde hair had fallen across his forehead. Without thinking, I reached over and brushed them back carefully.
His face relaxed almost immediately as he leaned instinctively toward my touch.
My heart broke a little.
Oh gosh.
How was I supposed to lie to this man?
Technically, I already had. I'd told him I had work today- which wasn't entirely false. Judge Johnson was work. Justin Deyes was work.
The interview mattered 100%. Everything I'd told Cameron had been true. I'd just left out a few very important details.
Namely that while he believed I'd be joining him after work, I wasn't completely sure I'd even make it there.
I hated saying that and I hated myself for thinking it.
If all goes well, I should still be able to make it. I was positive. 99.9% sure.
My alarm finally buzzed. The sound nearly made me jump.
Beside me, Cameron groaned quietly, his arm tightening around my waist before he buried his face deeper into the pillow.
"Mmm..."
I smiled despite myself. "Hello to you too."
One eye cracked open. "I love you Dix, but can you please turn down the alarm a notch? Some of us want to sleep in peace."
"Don't be so naggy." I rolled my eyes.
His voice was still rough with sleep.
He reached blindly until his hand found mine beneath the blanket, then he intertwined our fingers without opening his eyes again.
He lifted our joined hands just enough to kiss the back of mine before letting them fall onto the mattress again.
"Are you ready for work?"
My heart dropped, but I smiled anyway.
"I was just about to dress up."
I hoped he couldn't hear how forced that sounded.
He smiled back. "I'll see you this evening."
This evening.
I could see him. Maybe I just had to focus on the positive side. If the interview didn't take too long, I would still be able to make it to the meeting.
"Yeah." I nodded.
This evening. I repeated it silently to myself.
I can do both. I have to do both.
I'll make it work.
Who am I if I can't?
~
The prison walls were tall and sturdy, grey and lifeless. As I walked inside, I was met with a security guard at the front desk.
Gosh. Were they so understaffed they had security doing reception now? No wonder the justice system moved so slowly.
I smiled slightly. "Hey. I have an interview scheduled with Justin Deyes."
The security guard gave me a look before sighing.
"Name?"
"Dixie."
I say, hoping recognition kicks in.
I mean, being the best lawyer in Minnesota had to get me a little fame, right?
Once I realize his face hadn't changed, my shoulder started to slump."
"My name is Dixie West."
The security guard looked down at his monitor, fingers moving lazily across the keyboard. It was almost annoying how he was clicking. It made my head hurt.
His eyebrows slowly pulled together. "Hm."
My smile faltered.
What was it now?
"I'm not seeing a Dixie West." He clicked again, then once more.
"What?"
"I'm not seeing you scheduled for today."
For a second, I genuinely thought I'd heard him wrong. "I..there has to be a severe mistake."
"I'm just telling you what the computer's telling me."
"No." I stepped closer to the desk, trying to keep my voice level.
"There isn't a mistake. Judge Johnson scheduled this personally-we have an interview with inmate Justin Deyes."
The guard typed the inmate's name instead.
"I've got the inmate."
He looked back up at me. "I don't have you."
My stomach dropped.
No, no, no.
Please don't do this today.
As if this day could get any worse.
"I drove all the way here," I said, struggling to keep the panic out of my voice. "Judge Johnson called me himself. He arranged this meeting. He specifically told me to come today."
"I'm not saying you're lying, ma'am."
But his tone suggested exactly that.
"I'm just saying your name isn't on today's visitor list."
I glanced toward the heavy security doors beyond him. This couldn't happen.
Not today- especially not after everything.
Mr. Johnson said the interview had taken weeks to arrange. He had pulled favors. Prison schedules weren't exactly flexible.
If I missed this, who knew when another opportunity would come?
"There has to be someone you can call." I ask.
"Unless Judge Johnson authorizes it himself, then I'm afraid I can't let you through."
"I appreciate you following procedure," a familiar voice came from behind me. "But she's with me."
I turned so quickly I nearly stumbled.
Judge Johnson walked through the front entrance carrying a leather portfolio beneath one arm, dressed in a charcoal suit that somehow managed to look perfectly pressed despite the cold humid morning.
He wasn't smiling, exactly, but there was something reassuring about seeing him.
He glanced toward me briefly. "Mrs. West."
"Morning." I hoped he couldn't hear the relief in my voice.
The security guard straightened immediately. "Judge Johnson."
"We have an interview scheduled with inmate Justin Deyes. It was arranged through my office."
"Yes, sir. Of course."
The difference was almost comical. Five seconds ago, I was practically being turned away, now the guard was already reaching for his access badge.
"My apologies, Judge." The guard said.
"No apology necessary," Judge Johnson's voice remained calm. "You were doing your job."
"Thank you, sir." The guard pressed several buttons before the heavy security door released with a loud metallic buzz.
He stepped aside. "You two are cleared."
"Thank you." Johnson said.
As I walked past the desk, I couldn't help glancing sideways at him. A look that silently said: Told you so.
Judge Johnson noticed. "Ms. West."
"What?" I snapped my head towards him.
"Be nice."
"Oh, of course. This one gave me a blast." I smile at the guard. "Didn't you?"
The security guard stiffened, nodded ever so slightly.
A quiet chuckle escaped Judge Johnson.
Another security officer joined us almost immediately. "I'll escort you."
"Lead the way." Judge Johnson nodded.
The further we walked, the quieter everything became.
The hallways seemed clear, bright fluorescent lights that buzzed faintly overhead. Every few yards another locked gate waited.
Each one shut behind us before the next opened.
There was no forgetting where you were.
No windows at all, and very little color. Even the air felt gray somehow.
I'd bet prisons in California are much nicer.
I folded my arms loosely across my stomach. I suddenly didn't know what to do with my hands.
Judge Johnson glanced. "Nervous?"
"Only a little." I laughed once.
"A little?"
"Fine," I exhaled. "A lot."
The judge didn't respond immediately. "I expected as much."
"I haven't seen Mr. Deyes since...since I helped put him here."
The words tasted awful.
Judge Johnson slowed his pace slightly. "You did your job."
"I know."
"You still feel guilty?"
How could one not feel guilty? It was obvious Justin Deyes hated my guts by now.
I looked straight ahead. "Yes."
"What if he tells me to leave, or even worse: refuses to talk?"
Judge Johnson adjusted the portfolio beneath his arm. "He might."
"That's reassuring." I gave a sarcastic laugh.
"It wasn't meant to reassure you."
He looked at me. "It was meant to prepare you."
I swallowed.
"You need to understand something before you walk into that room."
"If Justin Deyes is angry, he's earned every right to be."
I was only feeling worse after he said that.
"You may have been wrong, or you may not have been. That's what we're trying to determine."
"But if an innocent man spent weeks, months in prison, don't expect forgiveness in the first five minutes."
My heartbeat sped up. "I wasn't."
We reached another heavy steel door. The escort swiped his badge, and the lock released with another loud metallic click.
Beyond it sat a small interview room with thick glass windows overlooking an empty hallway.
A square metal table. Four chairs bolted to the floor, and there was nothing else.
The guard stopped beside the doorway. "They're bringing Deyes now."
My throat suddenly felt dry. This was it.
The first time I'd seen Justin Deyes since the day I'd watched the courtroom doors close behind him forever.
The room sat in complete silence.
Judge Johnson placed his leather portfolio on the table before opening it carefully.
Several folders slid free.