ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟜𝟟 #3
Information. That was helpful. Thanks, Logan Barks.
I looked at the papers scattered across the table.
There were photographs, maps, and notes. My stomach tightened.
"Hey folks, can I speak to my husband for a minute?" I looked back at Cameron.
Logan immediately nodded. "Of course."
"We'll give you two some privacy." Daniel closed his laptop.
"Means a lot, thank you!" I smiled at them.
Then I turned toward Cameron.
He stood. "Excuse me, gentlemen."
I walked a few feet away from the men before turning around. The second Cameron reached me, I lowered my voice.
"Who the hell are these guys?"
He looked at me with confusion in his face. "The investigators I told you about."
I stared at him before scoffing.
"The investigators?"
"Yup." Cameron shoved his hands into his sweatpant pockets.
I looked over his shoulder. Logan and David were pretending very hard not to listen.
I turned back to him. "You booked investigators?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"A few days ago."
My eyebrows shot upward.
He sighed. "Dixie."
"When exactly were you planning on telling me that two private investigators were going to be sitting in our living room?" I crossed my arms.
"I didn't know they were going to come today."
"Oh," I nodded. "Because that makes it so much better."
He gave me a look. "I didn't mean it like that."
I glanced toward the two men again over Cam's shoulder, then back at him.
"Wait." I stared at him.
"These are the investigators you booked on our anniversary."
"Why do you have to make it sound like that?" Cameron's expression changed immediately.
I gave him a flat look. "Because that's exactly what happened."
"I booked them because Molly is missing. Why are you saying it like I did something wrong?"
"I'm not saying you did something wrong." I fold my arms.
"You just said-"
"I said you booked them on our anniversary."
"You're making it sound like I deliberately chose that day to upset you."
"I didn't say that either."
"So what exactly are you saying?"
I took a breath. "I don't know, Cameron."
"I came home expecting to see you." My voice dropped.
"I'm here."
"You were having a meeting with two private investigators."
"Because I need to find my sister."
"I know you do!" I shout-whisper.
"Then what is the problem?"
I stared at him.
That feeling.
Like I was in the wrong for being affected by anything happening around me.
"I don't have a problem with you looking for Molly."
"Good."
"I have a problem with the fact that you keep making huge decisions without telling me."
"First the dumb therapy, now this?"
His face tightened. "Well you weren't exactly available for that fundraiser."
My mouth fell open slightly.
I stared at him. He immediately looked away.
That was a new low- he knew it too.
I lowered my voice. "Really?"
"Dixie, I-"
I shook my head. "No, stop. You don't get to use that every time we're upset with each other."
"I'm not."
"You just did."
"I was making a point."
"Well, your point was extremely unnecessary." I say.
He rubbed his jaw. "We're not doing this right now."
"Of course we're not," I laughed quietly. "Because you have guests."
"Investigators, Dix."
"Whatever."I roll my eyes.
I looked toward the living room again. Cameron followed my gaze.
"I can't leave them hanging."
I stared at him. "Are you serious?"
"They're here to work."
"And I'm your wife."
"Of course you are."
"Oh, then maybe talk to me?"
"I am talking to you."
"No, you're trying to explain yourself. You're doing very badly, by the way."
He sighed. "I don't want to fight."
"Neither do I."
"Then don't."
"Wow."
"What?" He closed his eyes briefly, looking at the floor.
"Nothing," I smiled tightly. "Go."
His eyebrows pulled together. "Dixie."
"No, go back to your guests."
"Investigators."
"I don't care, same thing."
"Hey," He pulled my arm. "I don't want to leave you upset."
I pulled back quickly. What made him think he could touch me now?
"I'm fine."
He stared at me, and I stared back. We both knew I wasn't.
Finally, he exhaled. "I'll come upstairs later."
"Okay."
He waited, but I didn't move, or say anything. He then turned and walked back toward Logan and David. I watched him sit down.
Just like that.
Back to Molly. Back to whatever was happening over there.
I stood there for another few seconds. My chest felt tight and I wanted to scream. Instead, I picked up my bag.
"I'm going upstairs."
Cameron glanced toward me. "Okay."
I turned around before he could see my face. The second I reached our bedroom, I closed the door.
I didn't slam it, but I wanted to. Very, very badly- but I didn't. I simply locked it. Then I dropped my bag onto the floor.
"Unbelievable."
I walked toward the bathroom. I could still hear the faint sound of voices downstairs. I turned the shower on to block out whatever was happening down there.
Hot water began pouring from the showerhead.
I stared at myself in the mirror.
My face looked exhausted, and makeup had faded.
I just looked like a big, old, mess.
I sighed. "Get it together."
I pulled my clothes off and stepped into the shower. The hot water hit my shoulders.
I exhaled slowly
Everything I'd been holding in all day seemed to come rushing back at once. I pressed both hands against my face.
"Why is everything so complicated?" I said to no one.
The water trickled down my back.
I was happy today. I had been genuinely happy for like, maybe twenty minutes. Now, I felt like I'd somehow done something wrong just by enjoying it.
I hated feeling guilty for being happy.
I also hated that Cameron was making me feel like there wasn't room for my happiness while Molly was missing.
I understood why, I really did- but understanding something didn't mean it couldn't hurt.
I closed my eyes.
Justin was innocent. That mattered, his life mattered.
My career mattered.
I mattered.
At least, I wanted to believe I did. I stood there beneath the water for a long time. Eventually, my anger started to burn through the sadness.
And once it did, I couldn't stop thinking about those two men downstairs.
The fact that he had apparently made all of these plans while barely talking to me. When I finally came home, he had looked at me like I was interrupting something.
I turned the water hotter. "Fine."
"If that's how we're doing things..." I stared at the wall. "Then fine."
Two can play at that game, Cameron.
I wasn't going to beg for his attention, and I wasn't going to ask him to celebrate me.
I certainly wasn't going to apologize for being excited about something good.
But I knew that deep down, beneath all that anger, there was one thought I couldn't get rid of. I wished he had looked at me today the way he used to.
Like my happiness mattered to him. When something good happened to me, it was automatically good news for him too.
Not anymore, I suppose.
I closed my eyes, then quietly whispered to myself, "I miss you."
I had never felt farther from him.
~
I was settled in bed when the bedroom door opened.
Cameron came out, a towel around his shoulders, with his blonde hair wet. He wore a towel around his waist.
I was guessing he used the downstairs bathroom. Geez, was he that mad at me he couldn't even use this bathroom?
I couldn't even look at him.
I shifted my position so I was facing away from him while he grabbed a fresh new pair of clothes from the dresser.
"Dix," He called out quietly, my back still facing him.
Once I didn't answer, he called out again.
"Dixie."
I finally turned.
"What Cameron?"
He scoffed. "You can't possibly be mad at me."
"I am."
He shook his head slightly. "Because I didn't react the way you wanted me to?"
I sat up a little. "No!"
"Then what?"
I looked at him. "You know what."
"I really don't."
"You barely care."
"I told you I was happy for you. I don't know what more you could want." His eyebrows pulled together.