ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟜𝟠 #2
The strange guilt I'd just started carrying.
I shook my head.
Justin was free. That was what mattered.
I smiled to myself.
~
On my drive back home, my phone started to buzz. It was Judge Johnson.
I picked it up immediately. "Hey, judge."
"Dixie! That was brilliant."
I chuckled softly. "Oh gee...thank you. I couldn't have done it without your help."
"You are one of the most intelligent lawyers I've worked with. This was all you!"
I smiled, glancing at the road ahead of me. "That's very generous of you, thank you."
"No, I'm serious." I could practically hear the smile in his voice.
"You walked into that courtroom prepared. You didn't stumble once!"
"I almost did, I was terrified." I sighed.
"You didn't look terrified."
"Well, that's because I have a very convincing face in court."
He laughed. "I suppose you do."
I smiled to myself. It felt good. Really, freaking, good.
After everything lately, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be proud of myself. In other words, it felt great.
"You know," Judge Johnson continued, "I think you may have underestimated what happened in there today."
I frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"
"The case made the news."
"What?" I almost missed my turn.
"The news, Dixie."
"Wait." I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. "What news?"
"Local news. A few stations picked it up this morning."
"You're joking!"
"I am not."
My mouth fell open slightly. "Why would they cover it?"
"Because it's a major wrongful-conviction case. It was also one of the largest cases in Minnesota, did you really not know?"
I went quiet.
Hearing him say it like that made everything feel suddenly bigger.
I'd been so buried in documents and court filings that I hadn't stopped to think about what this case looked like from the outside.
To me, Justin was a man whose life had been interrupted, another client that the justice system had failed.
A man I wanted to help.
But to everyone else, it was this major case.
"Dixie?"
I blinked myself out of my thoughts. "Sorry."
"You went quiet."
"I mean..." I laughed softly. "I just didn't know the public was watching."
Judge Johnson chuckled. "They were. There was a whole lot of publicity on it when he was first convicted."
I shook my head. "That is insane."
"You did well."
"Did they show me in court?"
"Yes."
I laughed quietly. "Oh.."
"I thought you knew."
"I guess I saw a couple camera's. I didn't know it would be this whole thing."
"Thank you, Judge."
"You're welcome."
"And thank you for believing me."
"I didn't have to believe you, Dixie. You gave me every reason to."
I smiled. That was what I had been missing- being reminded that I was good at something. That I mattered somewhere.
Also that all those nights I spent staring at paperwork hadn't been for nothing.
Judge Johnson cleared his throat. "Now, I assume you'll be speaking with Mr. Holmes soon."
Oh, Ted was going to have me back in no time.
My smile grew. "Oh, absolutely."
Judge Johnson laughed again. "I'll let you go for now, goodbye, Dixie."
"Bye-bye."
The call ended. I placed my phone in the cup holder.
The realization hit me again. The news.
I pictured Cameron sitting somewhere with his phone in his hand.
Maybe he'd seen the clip, watched parts of the hearing, maybe he'd seen me standing at that podium.
My smile softened. He'd probably be proud of me.
Even with everything going on between us, I was sure he couldn't possibly look at that and not understand what it meant.
I imagined walking through the front door, he'd be in the kitchen, and I'd tell him. He'd probably give me that little smile of his, say something annoying like, I told you you'd win.
Then we'd laugh, and maybe even celebrate. My heart fluttered.
Okay. Maybe telling him wouldn't be so difficult after all.
I reached for the radio and turned it up slightly. Michael Jackson sounded good.
The way you make me feel filled the car. I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel.
I wasn't going home feeling defeated. I had done something important. Something that mattered.
I smiled again. "Okay, Cameron."
I shook my head, almost laughing at myself. "You better be proud of me this time."
~
I couldn't even take my heels off properly when I reached the front door.
"Cameron!" I called out.
I looked around. Cameron could be anywhere these days. I looked towards the kitchen, living room, but no sign of Cameron.
Once my heels were actually off my feet, I rushed upstairs.
"Cameron! I won, I won, Cameron!"
I checked the library, the office, and still no hint of him. My last stop was the bedroom.
He was on the bed, he was covering his eyes, and the lamp on his side was the only light turned on.
I quickly took my blazer off and set my purse aside.
"Guess what!"
Cameron quickly looked up.
"Justin Deyes is out. He's finally free. He doesn't have to spend any more time in that prison!"
I stood by the edge of the bed, practically jumping up and down.
"Can you believe how amazing that is? If I show all this to Ted, I might be able to get my job from Georgia!"
Cameron stared at me.
For several seconds, he didn't say anything, then he slowly lowered his hand from his face.
"You've got to be kidding me, Dixie."
"What?" My smile disappeared.
He sat up against the headboard.
"You've got to be kidding me."
I stared at him. I looked around the room, suddenly confused by the complete lack of excitement on his face.
"What?"
He rubbed both hands over his face. "Congratulations."
The word came out flat.
I frowned. "Thank...you?"
"Yeah. Congratulations." He nodded once.
Something about his tone made my stomach twist.
Why did he have to sound so mad about it?
I crossed my arms. "Okay."
He looked away. I watched him for another second.
I sighed. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine."
I let out a small, humorless laugh.
"Don't do that. You're obviously upset at something."
His jaw tightened. "I told you I'm fine."
"And I'm telling you that you're not."
He looked down at the blanket.
I stared at him blankly. The excitement I'd walked into the room with was disappearing piece by piece.
"You're angry at me."
"No, I'm not."
I stood there quietly. "Can you at least pretend to be happy?"
"You're standing there, celebrating." He finally said.
"Because something good happened. Now answer my question: why are you mad?"
"I'm not mad that you won."
"So tell me what you're mad about."
He stared at me for what seemed like forever, then finally, he exhaled.
"You."
My eyebrows lifted. "Me?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Great. That's helpful." I laughed once in disbelief.
"You've been so indulged in your work that you haven't even tried helping me find Molly."
My face went still. "I haven't tried?"
"No."
"Are you serious? I have tried."
"When?"
"Cameron, I've asked you what you needed."
"Right. I told you I was handling it."
"Exactly! You keep pushing me away!"
"I have not pushed you away."
"You have!"
He stood from the bed. "No, I haven't."
"Yes, you have. Every time I ask what I can do!"
"Because there's nothing you can do!"
"Then don't blame me for not doing anything!" I yell.
He stared at me, and I stared back.
"You make it impossible to help you," I murmur.
"That isn't true."
"Yes, it is."
"No, Dixie. You've been busy with your case."
"Yes, because it was my job!"
"Your job." He repeated the words quietly.
Something about the way he said them made me angry. "Yes. My job. What's your point exactly?"
"Right," He nodded slowly. "Your job."
"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" I could feel my patience disappearing.
"Nothing." He sighed.
"No. Say it."
"I don't want to."
"Fine, then don't say anything at all." I cross my arms.
I stepped closer. "Don't do that with me Cam, you started this."
"I started this?"
"Yes!"
He shook his head. "You walked in here screaming about how happy you are."
"Because I am happy! What, you think I shouldn't be?"
"No."
"Then what the hell is your problem?"
His expression hardened. "My problem is that my little sister is missing."
"As we know."
"No, I don't think you do."
"I do."
"Do you? Because you came home today celebrating your career. That's what you had to talk about."
"Because I finally have something good happening to me!"
"And that's supposed to make me happy?"
I recoiled. "Wow."
"That's not what I meant- I'm sorry. I mean that I can't just turn it off."
"Neither can I!"
"You've been acting like everything is normal when you know it's not, Dix."
"I have not. I came home smiling, because I did something good!"
"While my sister is still missing!"
I stared at him. He looked just as shocked by what he'd said as I was.
"Is that what you really think?"
He looked away. "I think you're trying to move on."
My eyes burned as I shook my head. "I have never moved on from her."
"Just because I worked on a case, doesn't I forgot about your sister. I mean, you keep telling me you don't need me, Cameron!"
"I've been trying to hold everything together, Dixie."
He pointed toward himself. "My sister is gone- I wake up every morning wondering where she is."
"What makes you think I don't?" I swallowed.
He shook his head. "I think you have your own life going on."
I laughed through the tears gathering in my eyes.
"Of course I do. I have a life, Cameron."
I stepped backward. "I have a career, I have responsibilities, and I am allowed to be happy when something good happens to me."
His face softened for half a second, then the frustration quickly returned.
"When have I ever said you weren't allowed to feel those things?"
"Well for starters, you keep acting like it."
"Because the timing-"
I cut him off sharply. "The timing? I'm sorry. Should I have waited until Molly was found before I was allowed to be happy?"
He immediately looked away. "That isn't fair to me."
"Neither is this."