ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝𝟟 #2
"That right there." Ms. Hastings smiled. "You just teased each other."
Dixie looked at Ms. Hastings like was crazy.
"So? We're not always miserable, contrary to popular belief."
"I didn't say you were." Ms. Hastings made another note, then she looked back up.
"Alright. Cameron, when Dixie becomes overwhelmed, what do you usually do?"
"I try to fix it."
Dixie snorted.
"And does that help?" Ms. Hastings asked.
"No. Not at all, actually." Dixie answered before I could.
I looked at her. "Thanks for answering."
"You're very welcome." She said sarcastically.
Ms. Hastings laughed softly. "Dixie, when Cameron tries to help, what do you usually interpret that as?"
Dixie sat up. "Oh boy..it's like he thinks I'm incapable of handling things myself. Like I'm a child."
"I don't think that." My eyebrows lifted.
"That's how it feels."
I nodded slowly. "Okay."
Dixie squeezed my hand, then sighed. "I know you don't mean it that way."
Ms. Hastings nodded. "Cameron, when Dixie refuses your help, how do you feel?"
"I feel useless."
I hadn't told Dixie that before.
I looked down at our hands. "Especially after what happened with Jordyn."
Dixie squeezed my hand again.
That name had become a wound in our house.
A reminder of fear, and how badly we'd both needed each other and managed to fight instead.
Ms. Hastings spoke quietly. "You both experienced something very difficult while already having problems in your marriage."
"Molly disappearing intensified everything, and the fact that Dixie was dealing with her career at the same time..."
"I was overwhelmed, to say the least. I just didn't know how to say it."
I held her hand tighter.
"You don't have to explain everything perfectly, I've told you that, Dixie."
She looked at me. "That's easy for you to say. You're annoyingly calm."
Ms. Hastings smiled, then asked, "Dixie, what do you need from Cameron when you're overwhelmed?"
Dixie's smile faded. "I don't know. I need him to stay..but not push."
I nodded. "I can do that."
Ms. Hastings smiled softly. "And Cameron, what do you need from Dixie?"
I looked at my wife.
I could have given her a long answer about everything I'd wanted from her during those weeks apart.
But the truth was simpler. "I just need her to tell me when she's scared instead of leaving or shutting down."
"I'll try to not chase you when you need space." I tell her.
Dixie sighed before nodding. "Thank you."
~
I stopped at the driveway and shifted the car into park.
Dixie unbuckled her seatbelt. I looked over at her.
"You can go ahead."
"What?" She paused with her hand still resting on the seatbelt.
"I've got somewhere I need to be."
Her eyebrows pulled together. "You're not coming inside?"
I shook my head.
"No. I need to take care of something first."
That wasn't exactly a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.
I wanted to go inside with her, more than anything.
After everything that had happened, there was something comforting about watching her walk through the front door with me.
It made the house feel normal again.
But I needed answers, and there was one person I needed to talk to before I could let this go.
Ted.
I wanted to understand what he had been thinking. Why he'd treated Dixie the way he did.
Why she was still fighting so hard for approval from a man who clearly didn't understand how much she had already accomplished.
And, more importantly, I wanted to know exactly what he meant when he said she had to "work" her way back into her position.
It made me wonder how many times Dixie had felt alone because of work.
Dixie would go nuts if she knew I was going to see him.
So, naturally, I wasn't telling her.
She studied my face. "Where are you going, Cameron?"
"Just somewhere."
She slumped her shoulders. "Cameron, seriously."
I smiled. "I'll be back."
"You're being mysterious." She sighed.
I laughed quietly.
She opened the door, then paused, turning back to me.
"Just drive safe, okay?"
"Of course." I reached over and took her hand before she could step out.
She looked down at our hands. I rubbed my thumb gently across the back of hers, gently lifting her hand to my mouth, placing a small kiss there.
"Love you."
She didn't say anything for a moment before she looked back at me. "Love you too."
My heart practically skipped a beat.
She opened the door and stepped out. "Bye."
"Buh-bye, Dix."
The door closed. I watched her walk toward the house, then I watched her disappear inside.
The second she was gone I smiled hard like an idiot.
I leaned back against the seat and stared through the windshield.
She loves me.
I laughed under my breath. "She still loves me."
I couldn't stop smiling.
After everything. After all those nights wondering if she was actually coming back, she'd just looked at me and told me she loved me.
I pressed both hands against the steering wheel.
"Okay," I took a breath. "Focus."
I started the car.
She loves me.
I was going to be unbearable.
I pulled out of the driveway, still grinning. It took me almost five minutes to realize I was driving in the opposite direction from the firm.
I glanced at the road, then I laughed at myself. "Get it together, West."
I turned the car around.
I had somewhere to be. Ted's office. I needed to stop thinking about my wife long enough to get there.
I wondered if she'd meant it.
Of course she did. She wouldn't say it if she didn't. At least I hoped she wouldn't.
I smiled again.
I'm hopeless.
This was what being married did to a person. Or maybe it was just what being married to Dixie did.
~
By the time I pulled into the firm's parking lot, I'd managed to regain some level of composure.
I stepped out of the car and straightened my shirt.
The moment I entered the building, people were looking at me. I smiled politely at the first person, then at everyone else.
A woman near the reception desk glanced up from her computer and immediately looked back down.
She smiled quickly, and I smiled back.
Okay...That was weird.
I continued walking. A couple of younger employees looked over as I passed. One of them whispered to the other, and then they both laughed.
I smiled awkwardly. What is happening? I wasn't used to this.
At the station, people stared because they knew me. But here at the firm, I had no idea.
I finally spotted Dannah standing near one of the offices, talking with another employee.
"Dannah."
She turned, and her entire face lit up.
"Oh!" She excused herself from the conversation and walked toward me. "Hey, Cameron!"
"Hey."
She looked me over. "How are you?"
"I'm good."
"Are you actually good?" She gave me a skeptical look.
I laughed softly. "I'm getting there. It's complicated."
"Everything with you and Dixie is complicated."
I couldn't argue with that.
She smiled politely. "Is Dixie coming back soon?"
I hesitated. "Uh..hopefully. She's still figuring things out."
That was the safest answer I could give. I didn't want to tell Dannah I wasn't completely sure what Dixie's plans were.
Not when I'd just gotten Dixie to say she loved me. I wasn't about to ruin that feeling by saying I was still terrified she'd change her mind and come back here.
Dannah nodded. "Okay. That's fair."
"Do you know where Ted's office is?" I glanced down the hallway.
Her expression changed immediately. "Ted? As in our boss Ted?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I kinda need to talk to him."
"Does he have an appointment with you?" She asked.
"No."
"Cameron.."
"I really need to see him."
Dannah stared at me for another second, then sighed.
"Okay."
She turned toward the employee she'd been speaking to. "Can you give us a minute?"
The employee nodded and walked away.
"I'm only doing this because you're Dixie West's husband." Dannah looked back at me.
I smiled at that.
"She'll kill me if I let you wander around by yourself."
I laughed. "That's right."
We started walking. As we moved through the hallway, I noticed more people looking at me.
I glanced at Dannah, whispering. "Why is everyone staring?"
She looked up at me. "Are you serious? Cameron."
"What?"
She laughed. "Have you ever looked at yourself?"
"I mean...hell, yes?" I frowned.
She laughed harder. "That's why. They all think you're attractive."
I nearly stopped walking. "What?"
"You heard me." Dannah shrugged.
I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my neck. "That's ridiculous."
"No, it's not."
She pointed subtly toward a group of employees who immediately looked away when they realized we had noticed.
"See?"
I shook my head. "I don't understand."
"You're very attractive, Cameron."
"Thanks?" I rubbed the back of my neck again.
Dannah laughed. "You look embarrassed."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
I looked away.
Great.
I couldn't help thinking about Dixie. I wondered if she looked at me that way.
Had she ever watched me walk into a room and thought I looked good? Had she ever secretly stared at me when I wasn't paying attention?
I smiled faintly.
Probably not.
Dixie was far too busy criticizing my hairstyles. Or the fact that I left cabinet doors open.
Still...
I couldn't help but wonder.
Dannah nudged me lightly. "Are you okay? You're smiling like crazy."
"I was thinking about Dixie."
She smiled at that.
We continued down the hallway, and finally, we stopped outside Ted's office.
Dannah knocked twice, and we were met with nothing.
She looked at me. "He does this sometimes."
"What?"
"Takes forever to answer."
I nodded. "That's alright. I can wait."
"So..how's Dixie?" She leaned against the wall beside me.
I thought about it. "She's better. Still a little stressed."
"Let me guess, is it about work?"
"Work. Us. Everything."
Dannah sighed. "She cares a lot. I've always told that girl to take a break."
"Trust me, I agree." I nodded.
We stood quietly for a couple minutes, then the door finally opened.