20. Chapter 20
The next morning, I’m awake by six. It’s certainly not intentional since I didn’t get home until after one, but I had such a fitful sleep, I can’t stay in bed any longer. So, I get up, make a pot of coffee, and read.
One of my guilty pleasures is reading romance novels. There’s something about a hot, perfect leading man who gives the female character all her wishes and desires that calls to me. I guess in a way, I’m waiting for my perfect leading man. I’ve yet to find him.
I read for over two hours before Lisa and Jackie come downstairs. They look like hell, and I have to stifle my giggles. “Good morning, sunshines.”
Lisa flips me off as she yawns, her lipstick smeared down her chin. From the way her eye makeup is smudged, she’s probably been rubbing her eyes. I confirm this when she gets close enough for me to see she’s only got one fake lash still on. Her ponytail is barely holding it together as she lumbers down the steps.
“Is Hannah still asleep?” I ask.
Jackie shakes her head and shrugs. Her makeup isn’t in as bad of shambles as Lisa’s, but I’d say she’s winning the walk of shame since she slept in her costume. I shoot them both a questioning look laced with concern.
“She left with that beer pong guy,” Lisa says.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. “I knew she left the garage with him, but I didn’t know she left with him.”
When my concern doesn’t waver, Jackie sighs. “It was someone she knows from class. She texted me last night when she got to his house, and she already texted me this morning that she’s alive.” She pulls out her phone to show me the messages, complete with the slew of emojis. “Happy?”
I nod in approval as she absentmindedly tries to slide her phone into the nonexistent pocket on her costume. It hits the floor with a sharp thwack. She bends down to pick it up, and a ping pong ball falls out of her cleavage. The three of us watch in silent awe as it bounces across the room.
“How did you sleep with that in there all night!?” Lisa asks through laughter.
“No idea.” Jackie shrugs before sniffing at the air. “Do I smell coffee?”
I nod. “I made another pot, like, fifteen minutes ago. Help yourselves.”
They happily scurry into the kitchen. While they’re pouring their cups of self-medication, I finish the chapter I’m on, and put my book away. They both come back to the living room and snuggle on the couch with me.
“What happened to you last night?” Lisa asks.
“I texted you. I got tired,” I say, lifting my mug to my lips.
She shakes her head. “No, I mean at the party. One minute, you were there, and the next, you were gone.”
“First of all, you were so enthralled in conversation with Brent, you probably didn’t even notice me, Jackie, and Hannah go to the garage.” I shoot Lisa a pointed look, but she smiles. “Then, when I came inside, you and Brent were…getting familiar.” I bob my eyebrows to encourage her to elaborate. I’m not quite ready to dive into the story about me and Sam, so I’ll divert to her.
Lisa lets out a contented sigh. “Ladies, I think I’m in love.”
“What?” Jackie and I shout in unison, both sitting upright at full attention.
“Mhm. Brent is perfect.”
“But you’re not even dating him.” Jackie crinkles her nose. “Wait, is there something you haven’t told us?”
Lisa shakes her head. “I haven’t been secretly dating him, no. We’ve been hanging out before and after class, seeing each other in passing. But when we’re together, we click.” Lisa stares off into the room, a contentedness in her features. “He asked me out last night.”
Jackie and I burst into giddy giggles, with Jackie bouncing in her seat as I try not to spill my coffee. “I’m happy for you, Lisa,” I say, and I am, but I’m also a bit skeptical. Lisa has flitted from guy to guy for years, never really being into one more than the other. I hope this isn’t another fleeting relationship. “But no wonder you didn’t notice where I was.”
“Yeah, about that…” She turns to face me, and Jackie leans over her shoulder to listen in. “Your turn to talk about your night.”
“Well...” My lower lip works its way between my teeth. “While you were busy sucking face with Brent, Sam found me.”
Lisa’s eyes widen. “Sam was there!?”
“He played beer pong with us,” Jackie teases, grinning at me.
“Did you whoop his ass?”
“Of course, we did.” I high-five Jackie. “But then I went to the kitchen for another drink, and he came inside. We ended up talking.”
Lisa makes a noise like she’s impressed. “From what you’ve told me about him, I’m surprised you didn’t choke him out.”
“I have some self-control.”
“You guys have been hanging out, though?” Jackie asks. “Are you still enemies?”
“We agreed to frenemy terms.”
They both chuckle before Lisa nudges me to continue.
“So, he came to say hi, and we discussed the study group and celebrated our success with a few drinks.” I spill the whole story from the initial civil conversation, to him making us hide from Maya, all the way to me needing a refill. “When he wouldn’t leave the pantry, I started teasing him.”
“Teasing him?” Lisa arches an eyebrow. “Explain.”
I groan. “Okay, in my defense, I was on my, like, fifth or sixth drink.”
Jackie wiggles in her seat. “Ooh, this ought to be good.”
“I was making pouty faces and squishing my boobs together to get a rise out of him.”
“I bet he rose.” Lisa nudges Jackie with her elbow, and they giggle.
With a roll of my eyes, I continue. “We started making out, and I…sort of…let him finger me.” The last part comes out quietly as I hide behind my coffee mug.
“Ahhhh!” They both squeal, and I wince at the pitch.
“How was it?” Lisa asks, her face lighting up.
“Fantastic.” I release a contented sigh before I yank myself back to the present. “But what am I going to do, now?”
“I think the more important question is, what do you want to do?” Lisa asks.
I stare at her blankly, but say nothing.
Lisa groans. “Do you like him?”
“Not in the way you’re thinking.”
Jackie’s mouth drops open. “But you said you let him?”
I hold up my hand. “I know what I said, but that doesn’t mean I have feelings for him. I just like the way he touches me.”
“So, do you want him to keep touching you?” Lisa asks, wiggling her butt in her seat.
This isn’t an easy decision. Chewing on my lower lip, I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe out the word, “No.”
“No?” they both ask in unison.
I open my eyes to find the most ridiculously incredulous looks on their faces. “I don’t want a relationship with Sam, and I don’t want to lead him on.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Lisa asks.
“I’m going to tell him we can’t be alone together anymore. We’ll have to do our study group prep at the library or something.” It sounds so easy, so simple. I hope I can say the words when the time comes.
All day Tuesday, I psych myself up for an unpleasant chat with Sam, only to be thwarted by Maya. She gets to lab early, ambushing Sam the second he rounds the corner, and then waits for him to leave with her when class is over.
Part of me is relieved.
The other part writhes in anguish about delaying this conversation. I’d like to get it over with so I don’t have it weighing on my mind any longer than I have to. It leaves too much time for me to think.
On Thursday after lecture, I try my best to follow Sam out the door. Yet again, my path is intercepted by Maya. I’d swear she’s his shadow if her hair wasn’t so bright.
I’m about to skulk away in defeat, when I hear Sam say something about a meeting with another professor, then he parts ways with Maya to walk in the opposite direction. I wait a few seconds so it doesn’t seem like I’m following him before I do just that. I may walk a little faster than necessary. I don’t want to lose him, but when I round the corner, I almost crash into him.
“Whoa, Brynn. What’s the rush?”
“Sorry,” I say, collecting myself. “I… Wait, why are you hanging out over here?”
He runs a hand through his curls. “I’m waiting for the coast to be clear before I can leave.”
“Are you hiding from Maya? Again?” I try not to laugh.
“She doesn’t have class after O-Chem, so she walks me to my next one every day. And she doesn’t stop talking for a second of it.”
The defeat in his voice almost makes me feel bad for the laugh bursting from my lips, and I practically double over.
Sam snorts. “Glad you think it’s funny.”
“I’m sorry,” I say between breaths.
He tilts his head to the side. “Actually, what are you doing over here? You never leave this way either.”
My jovial expression ices over, and I clear my throat. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay, about what?”
“Um, well...” I drop my gaze to my feet, watching as I dig my toe into the low-pile carpet. “We need to...” I lift my head, the words on the tip of my tongue, but when I meet his deep brown eyes, I lose what little confidence I had. “We never prepped for tomorrow night.”
“Oh,” he says, the light in his eyes dimming.
“I have all the questions and stuff ready. I could email it to you. If you don’t mind putting the presentation together, that is.”
He shakes his head, his lips pressed into a flat line.
“Okay, thanks.” I take small steps backward. At the corner, I peek around the edge. “I think the coast is clear.”
Relief takes over Sam’s face. “Cool, thanks. I think I’ll hang here for another minute or two, though. Just to be safe.”
I nod and turn the corner, letting my embarrassment fuel me as I practically run away.