Chapter Four #2
Collapsing on my sofa with a huff, I pulled my phone from my pocket and stared at the TikTok icon on the screen.
I hadn’t checked in all day, and I didn’t want to check in now.
Even though it had been two days since I had posted a video—a wonderful little vignette about Spanish sculptor Luisa Roldán, whose artwork I found delightful—I knew there would be comments asking for a LIVE with Alex.
They had been relentless, to the extent that I dreaded opening the app.
Much like now. But until I landed a day job, TikTok was my job, and I couldn’t let these people keep me away.
Squaring my shoulders, I clicked on the icon and held my breath as the notifications loaded.
With my tongue pressed to the roof of my mouth, I skimmed through the comments on my last video.
The majority were positive. And truly, how could they not be when Luisa Roldán’s sculptures were so intricate and striking.
But with a heavy heart, and an annoyance that threatened to send my blood pressure through the roof, I spotted several comments asking if a LIVE with Alex was in the works.
Surprisingly, I noticed, there were no comments from Alex himself.
He had commented on every single one of my videos, no matter the topic, and it felt weird to not see his User16892 handle in the video comment section now. Had he not liked the video?
Why did that possibility bother me so much?
With a growl, I closed the app and set my phone face down.
What was wrong with me? I massaged my closed eyes with the heels of my palms and released a long breath.
For some reason, meeting Alex in real life had squashed my confidence.
I was second-guessing everything I did, from how I interacted with my best friend to how I felt about my work on TikTok.
And why? Was it the knowledge that someone who knew only a carefully curated part of my life was now privy to the real me?
The disastrous me, who had lost her job and struggled to be the daughter her overachieving parents desired.
The best friend to a powerhouse influencer who was invited to red carpet events and flown by private jet to glamorous destinations.
In comparison to them, I was…boring. Unassuming.
Dare I say unremarkable? As SLikeTheSun, I was leading the charge to remember trailblazing women in history who contributed to science and engineering and the arts, but as Sofia Mendoza, I was an unemployed single gal just trying to make enough money to pay her summer electricity bill.
Pushing myself off the couch, I padded to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, staring at the selection.
I needed to get my head back in the game.
Needed to remember that I was more than the circumstances of my life, for those things changed like the wind.
I had been dealt a terrible, unfair hand and was doing what I could to take advantage of opportunities in the only ways I knew how.
I couldn’t help that my most loyal follower was my best friend’s boyfriend, but I could help how I interacted with him.
I could help how his knowledge of both sides of my life affected my confidence.
There were so many things outside my control, but these things were within my grasp.
A newfound determination sparked like dynamite in my veins, and I grasped a bottle of cranberry juice and turned to pour myself a glass.
From the corner of my eye, I saw my phone screen light up with a notification.
Setting down the bottle, I picked up my phone and sighed—loudly and long—when I saw who had sent me a text.
Alex: Would you like to get coffee tomorrow morning? I’m still figuring out how to get around here, but I’m willing to meet up at whatever spot you recommend.
Did I want to get coffee with Alex? I leaned back against the refrigerator door and stared up at the ceiling. If I was honest, yes, I did want to see Alex. He was witty and funny, and, cono, was he pretty to look at. But…he wasn’t available.
But Caitlin asked you to show Alex around…
Those traitorous words echoed through my mind like the wail of La Llorona on a moonless night.
Turning to the cabinet, I grabbed a glass and a bottle of vodka and proceeded to make myself a vodka and cranberry. Cocktail in hand, I returned to the living room and perched myself on the sofa. Taking a long sip, I unlocked my phone and started typing my reply.
Sofia: I’m up for coffee. Why don’t we meet at the place Caitlin mentioned? It’s local, and not only does it have great coffee, it also has an A+ selection of Mexican pastries. You haven’t tasted heaven until you’ve had a coyota!
Alex: I don’t think I’ve ever had a Mexican pastry.
Sofia: A sacrilege! A failure you must rectify immediately.
Alex: Do you think I can wait until tomorrow, or is my survival dependent upon me having a pan dulce right now?
Fighting a smile, I typed my response.
Sofia: I think it will be a close thing, but you should be okay if we meet by nine o’clock tomorrow morning. I’ll drop a pin.
Alex: Whew! I’m honored and grateful to know you have my back.
Sofia: As you should be.
I quickly searched for Dulce’s Panadería on my phone and dropped a pin into our text chat.
Alex: Oh, they have a website. Now I can select my choices beforehand. No choice anxiety for me.
Sofia: I thought you would appreciate that.
Alex: You think of everything.
Sofia: Some people call me a wizard.
Alex: I’m sure they do.
His sarcasm oozed through the screen and I laughed aloud. Shaking off my amusement, I chastised myself for verging on flirting territory and tried to keep my reply as friendly, but not flirty, as possible.
Sofia: So tomorrow at nine o’clock at Dulce’s. I’ll see you there.
Alex: I’m looking forward to it. Thanks, Sofia.
I stared at my phone long after his reply came in, pondering what tomorrow would bring. Was it wise to meet Alex, one-on-one, for coffee? I didn’t think so. Was I going to do it anyway? It certainly seemed so.