Chapter Twenty-Three
“Caitlin,” I cried, my mind whirling as panic flooded through every cell in my body. “What are you doing here?”
Sneaking past me into the house, my friend removed her sunglasses and set them on the console table by the door. Stripping off her coat, Caitlin tossed it on the rack and then toed off her shoes.
“After the Vogue party last night—” She frowned, glancing over her shoulder at me as she walked into the kitchen. “Well, this morning, I decided I wanted to get to Arizona as quickly as possible. So I caught an earlier flight.”
I hustled after her, smoothing down my curls and twisting them together over my shoulder. “How much sleep have you managed?”
“A few hours on the plane.” Caitlin took out the coffee and filters from a cabinet and measured and poured the grounds for a pot. “I’m running on fumes right now.”
“I’m sure,” I mumbled, holding my robe tight across my chest. “If I had known you were coming early, I would have picked you up from the airport.”
“I know you would have, and that’s why I didn’t tell you.” Caitlin leaned forward and braced her elbows on the counter as her gaze raked over me. “It looks like last night was fun.”
Dropping my chin to my chest, I winced. “Is it that obvious?”
Caitlin snickered. “I’m just glad you had a good time.”
When the coffee was ready, Caitlin poured us each a cup and we sat at my small kitchen table, where she shared all the details from the Vogue party.
I did my best to pay attention, but my leg bounced up and down under the table and my pulse raced so quickly I felt a tad lightheaded.
It was imperative that I got Caitlin out of here so Alex could leave without being seen.
Staring into my coffee, I wondered if he’d heard Caitlin already and was hiding in the bedroom. I could hope.
“…so it was an amazing experience and my agent is going to be thrilled with the contacts I’ve made.” Caitlin looked at me over her coffee cup. “So tell me how last night went. Camila and her boyfriend were there, right?”
“Yeah, they flew in from California to spend time with Alex. And you, I’m sure,” I added.
Caitlin’s nose crinkled but immediately smoothed as she smiled. “Well, I’m looking forward to meeting them. From what Alex has said, Camila’s a firecracker.”
“To him she is, but then he deserves it.” I snorted. “I’m sure she’ll love you.”
“Well, even if she doesn’t, no worries. She lives in California anyway.”
A frown tugged at my lips, but I fought against it. Instead, I cleared my throat. “So I was thinking we can grab brunch at that little spot you like near Mill—”
“Will we be able to get a table?”
“Any ASU students still in town will be sleeping, so we won’t have to compete with them for a table.” I flicked my hand dismissively. I would have said anything in that moment to get Caitlin out of the house. “I can get changed and be ready in ten. Does that work?”
Caitlin shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. “Absolutely. I haven’t eaten since last night, so I’m famished.”
“Okay.” I pushed back my chair, ignoring how the screeching sound echoed in the small kitchen. “I’ll go change and be right out.”
Rising to my feet, I turned to leave and ran directly into Alex. He grasped my shoulders to balance me and then his gaze strayed to a spot behind me. “Oh, hey, Caitlin. I didn’t know you were here.”
Surely now would be when my heart spasmed and then stopped beating completely, releasing me from this horror unfolding before me. Yet I watched, terrified, as Caitlin’s blue eyes went wide as they took in Alex and then darted to me.
“Alex, what are you doing here? Were you Sofia’s designated driver last night?” she asked, her gaze ping-ponging between the two of us.
Inexplicably, a pleased smile illuminated Alex’s entire face and Caitlin’s jaw dropped.
“Oh. My. God. Did it finally happen?”
Confusion crashed over me like a tsunami and threatened to pull me under when Alex looped an arm around my waist and nestled me into his side.
“She was more than worth the wait,” he murmured, kissing my temple.
“Yay!” Caitlin cried, clapping her hands as she bounced in her seat. “I can’t think of a better way to start the new year than to see you two together.”
What is happening?
I stumbled away from Alex, skirting around a chair and gripping the seat back with both hands. Hysteria surged up my throat, and I swallowed convulsively. Eventually, I glanced at Caitlin. “I don’t understand. Aren’t you upset?”
“Upset?” She pursed her lips as her head tilted to the side. “Why would I be upset?”
Raising my brows, I ventured, “Because you and Alex are dating.”
Caitlin and Alex jerked their heads back in unison and exchanged a perplexed look.
“Uh, no we’re not,” Caitlin said.
An unexpected lightness settled over me, leaving me breathless. “But…you went on a coffee date—”
“Yeah, we did. But I think we both realized very quickly that we didn’t click in that way.” Caitlin glanced at Alex, who nodded. “And he’s so obviously your type, so when he said he was moving to Phoenix, of course I had to get you two together.”
My gaze flew to Alex, who stared intently at me, his expression frozen.
“So that first night when you came to dinner”—I clenched my eyes closed, remembering the moment Alex met my gaze across the crowd—“you weren’t a couple?”
“No. Never.” Caitlin leaned back in her chair, deep grooves cut between her brows. “So this whole time you thought Alex and I were dating?”
Sneaking another look at Alex, who had dropped his gaze to the tabletop, I nodded.
Caitlin’s brows disappeared into her hairline. “But…but that didn’t stop you from starting something with him?”
Why was my heart still beating? Why was it not freeing me from this nightmare instead of thudding painfully in my chest?
From the corner of my eye I saw Alex turn toward me, and when I peeked at him, his lips were pinched.
“So Christmas, and everything after, happened even though you thought I had a girlfriend?” His shoulders dropped when I jerked my head. “How could you think I would do that to someone I was in a relationship with?”
“I…I…” Glancing madly about, I could think of absolutely nothing to say.
The snapshots of our moments together in the months since Alex had moved to Phoenix unfurled like a movie reel in my mind.
Suddenly Alex’s behavior toward Caitlin came into focus.
How he rarely spoke of her. How guilt never clung to him like it clung to me when we were together.
Alex had never outright indicated he and Caitlin were in a relationship, so why had I so easily believed they were a couple?
As I struggled to understand my thoughts, standing there mutely, Alex sighed, long and weary. Without a word, he turned and left the room. I stared silently at the spot where he’d stood, blinking back tears, my chest empty and aching.
“Sofia, what is happening?”
Slowly I turned to look at Caitlin. My friend gaped at me.
I shook my head, still unable to give voice to my thoughts.
“Yes, Alex and I went on a coffee date. One coffee date, and that was it. After speaking with him, discovering his interests and the things that are important to him, I thought of how good he would be for you.” Caitlin threw up her hand. “And he was already moving to Phoenix? It was perfect!”
It was perfect. Alex was perfect. For me. And I had fucked it all up.
“Sof,” Caitlin began, nibbling on her bottom lip. “Would you really cheat with a guy I was dating?”
“Alex isn’t just any guy,” I whispered hoarsely.
Caitlin expelled a long breath and rose from the table. After depositing her empty mug in the sink, she snagged a banana from a bowl of fruit on the counter and paused next to me.
“I’m exhausted, so I know I’m not thinking clearly, but…this was fucked up.”
“I know,” I managed.
Caitlin’s blue gaze skimmed over my face. “We’ve both dated our fair share of fuckboys, so maybe you didn’t realize what you had. But my God, Sofia, don’t throw away your chance to be happy.”
A sob snared in my throat, threatening to choke me.
“Let’s talk more later, okay?” Caitlin laid her hand on my arm and then disappeared in the direction of the guest bedroom.
For several long moments, I stared at my closed bedroom door. Should I go in there and…What? Obviously apologize, but for what exactly? Doubting his integrity? Making assumptions? All of the above?
Scrubbing a hand across my brow, I grabbed my coffee cup and emptied the now-tepid liquid in the sink.
I was gazing out the kitchen window into the backyard when the front door slammed closed.
With a frown, I walked into the living room and glanced out the window in time to see Alex disappear down the sidewalk.
Where was he going?
Clenching my teeth, I debated if I should follow after him. Maybe he needed some fresh air and a walk to clear his head. Heaven knew I could use some fresh air, too.
I wandered into the bedroom, stopping short when I realized Alex’s stuff was gone. A cold chill swept over my body. Had he left left? Or had he left for a spell?
Spying my phone on the nightstand, I snatched it up, holding my breath with hope that Alex had sent me a message. But aside from New Year’s texts from my parents and brother, there was nothing from Alex.
My gaze darted about the room as my heart thundered in my ears. Ay no, was Alex done with me, or did he just need time? Surely we could talk through this. I wanted to wake Caitlin so she could help me figure out what to do, but I didn’t. I’d been selfish enough.
Instead, I walked woodenly into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Minutes later, I stood under the stream of hot water, replaying how I had gotten everything so wrong.
My thoughts swung wildly between recrimination and relief that Alex and Caitlin weren’t actually a couple, and that he had chosen me in truth.
But I had tainted all our beautiful memories by revealing how much I doubted his character.