Chapter 13
The next weekat work is a total shit show for Alice, and she suspects the same is true for Caleb and Grant—the three of them have a matching set of bags beneath their eyes. And although work has been moving on as usual, none of them have appeared at all cheerful about it.
When Logan tried to pawn off two more projects on Alice this week, she politely told him she didn’t have the bandwidth, which astonished him, but he didn’t press. She was glad she held her ground, even if she almost started crying in the bathroom afterward. Caleb, though, had a smirk on his face when she passed by him.
Grant was right when he said that they were no good when Alice was forcing distance between them. It was so sudden, the shift from not wanting them at all to wanting them all the time. In the office, she gravitated towards them, like there was a subtle pull to their desks, a simple comfort when they passed by her or leaned over her chair to review something on her monitor.
Little gifts have still showed up on her desk, like a bagel with almond spread from the place that she likes so much. Occasionally, a Tupperware with something homemade and delicious for lunch.
Conversations have stayed only about work and glances remain pained and lingering.
Olivia is no longer trying to convince her to call them, giving Alice the time she needs to argue internally with herself. Their mother, though, has not been quite as patient. One of Alice’s dads bought her a plane ticket home for Christmas, and while she’s planning on going, the thought of being even farther from Caleb and Grant makes her skin crawl.
The problem is this: she wants to believe them.
Every day she gets closer to being theirs, and the feeling of inevitability terrifies her. Of course, she wants them, she’s been a mess without them. A not-so-insignificant part of her wants to try making a relationship work, but then she talks herself so far out of it to a point she’s amazed she even considered it at all. The cycle repeats every day. Twelve times minimum.
Sitting at lunch on Friday with Lily, Alice tries to listen to her friend talk about the latest book she’s reading. As Lily debates with herself the physics of a particular sex scene between a Kraken and a human in said book, Alice sits up straight, an idea strikes her like lightning.
“What’s the matter?” Lily whispers, all monster physics forgotten.
“I need to tell you something. Two somethings. Well, three.”
Lily blinks her big eyes and puts her spoon down. “Go on.”
“Grant and Caleb are Alphas,” Alice says. Lily gets that look like juicy gossip is about to drop, and she has no fucking idea just how juicy. “I know this because they’re my scent matches.”
Lily freezes, processes, buffers, then processes again. She tilts her head and purses her lips.
“I’m an Omega,” Alice fills in the blanks.
“Holy shit!” Lily spouts, then lowers her voice. “Holy shit, you are?”
“Yes, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t even disclose it on my hiring materials.”
“You lied to HR? That’s iconic,” Lily leans closer. She doesn’t look mad, just surprised, and maybe even excited. “And holy shit, your scent matches?”
“I know. I’m sorry that I didn’t?—”
“Who helps you through your heat? You’ve never taken days off, when do you—” Alice gasps and her eyes widen. “The week you were all ‘sick’?”
Alice folds her hands in her lap and nods. She’s just going to have to let Lily mentally work through this one before they can move on to anything else.
“No wonder they’ve been staring at you… They want you to have their babies!”
“Something like that.”
“This is the biggest news I’ve heard all year, maybe in my whole life,” Lily says. “Why don’t you look happy about this? They’re perfect. Aren’t you thrilled? I’ve never met anyone with a scent match!”
Thrilled.
Alice has not been thrilled for a moment that she has scent matches. She has admitted to herself, though, that being with them is indeed thrilling. Electrifying, even.
“It is very complicated right now,” Alice says. Lily’s brows furrow, equal parts concern and confusion. “By no fault of theirs, though. You’re right, they’re perfect. They do want me to have their babies, definitely. It’s, um. . . I’m the problem.”
Lily puts a warm hand on her friend”s arm. She’s wonderful, and Alice is filled with so much love for her in this moment. Of all of the companies in the city, they ended up as interns at the same time in the same place, and even though Alice has been keeping a huge secret from her for years, Lily is immediately open and kind, and offering comfort and friendship when she could be closed off and hurt.
“I think that for a long time, I haven’t felt like I can bet on myself,” Alice says. “I couldn’t imagine that they were betting on anything other than the scent match.”
Lily doesn’t rush to tell her this isn’t true, or that Alice should believe in herself more; she just waits and listens.
“Have you ever thought about leaving Labyrinth?” Alice asks. Lily blinks at the apparent subject shift, then looks around to make sure none of their coworkers are in the food court near them.
“Constantly,” Lily admits. “I have a couple of freelance clients I help out, and I know I could get more, but I’m scared to make the jump, you know?”
“Mhm.” Alice takes a long gulp of water.
Lily is one of the most talented designers on staff; a dream to collaborate with, a sharp designer, great at taking feedback, and more thorough than any of the other designers on the team. There’s a reason Lily”s request box is always full. “What would you think about starting a boutique agency with me?”
After a moment of shocked silence, a grin spreads across Lily’s face. “Tell me more.”
Things move quickly when you’ve finally found a direction. Alice put in her two weeks notice just ten days after first talking with Lily about starting their own agency. Logan about shit a brick when she told him, his entire face flushed a pale white. He begged, was angry, tried to guilt her, and then finally landed on an unhappy acceptance.
She will officially accept clients come the new year, and will have the last few weeks of December to set up the rest of their paperwork and accounts. All the money she’d been stowing away for the last two years was enough to get them started and for her to live on without income for the next few months, at least.
She and Lily put together a website and some simple ads and already they had four people on their waitlist for January. They would be small accounts, but accounts nonetheless, and the thought was electrifying.
Caleb and Grant are still giving her space, but when Logan announces to the whole department that Alice will be leaving them before the new year, they both look up in alarm, Caleb even stands up from his desk.
Alice pulls her shoulders back as she stands next to Logan, unable to keep the slight smile from tugging at her lips.
“And of course we will all miss her very much, so whoever convinces her to stay gets lunch on me for a week. A month,” Logan says, attempting to sound like he’s joking. Everyone goes back to their own work, though Alice takes a moment to look at both Caleb and Grant before inclining her head towards the stairwell.
She goes first, up the sets of stairs to the roof access, her shoes click against the concrete steps. It’s only when she gets outside that she realizes she forgot her coat.
The sun is out for once. It heats her cheeks as she closes her eyes, she dips her head back. It’s not long before the door presses open revealing Caleb and Grant both out of breath.
“You quit?” Caleb’s eyes are still wide as he speaks, almost yelling. “Is this because of us? We could have talked about it!”
Grant shrugs off his coat and places it around Alice’s shoulders, and Caleb, still huffing and puffing and generally in a fit about this, untangles the red scarf and knots it around her neck. The scent of their clothes would be comforting enough to put her right to sleep under different circumstances.
Satisfied with her level of warmth, they stand back and wait for an explanation.
“I’m starting my own agency. With Lily.” Their stunned expressions mirror how she’s felt about all of this since deciding to take the plunge.
“That’s amazing,” Grant breathes, but Alice isn’t finished.
“I didn’t believe that you would choose me because I didn’t think that I would choose me,” Alice admits. “I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do with my life, only what I didn’t want to do, or was too afraid to do. What I didn’t want to be.”
“And what is it that you want to do?” Caleb asks.
Alice looks out over the city. The sun sets early this time of year and is already creeping its way down the horizon casting a yellow glow over the skyline.
“I want to see what I can do on my own out there. See if I can make something great.”
“You will,” Grant says.
“I will, I think,” Alice agrees. “I hope.”
Despite the late nights spent planning and working after work, and the perpetual lack of sleep without Caleb and Grant, the tired smile that’s been living on her face for the last couple of days remains. “But I don’t want to be alone.”
Caleb and Grant both freeze, neither of them allowing themselves to believe she’s saying what they’re desperate for her to say. A cold wind blows between them, lifting the ends of her hair around her face.
She stands up straighter and looks at them both. The men who have been nothing but good to her, who want nothing more than to love her.
“I need to warn you that I’m a horrible cook,” she says. “I leave the bathroom messy most mornings because I snooze my alarm way past when I know I should.”
Grant’s eyebrows inch towards each other.
“I’m a people pleaser who has a hard time saying no, and to add to that neurotic cocktail, I”m a workaholic.”
“You put way too many exclamation points in your emails,” Caleb adds.
“It’s excessive, really,” Alice agrees.
“Not to mention you’re exceptionally stubborn,” Grant says.
“So fucking stubborn,” Alice nods. “I can’t help myself.”
Grant and Caleb both step closer, close enough that any of them could touch if they just reached out. The beast inside her is quiet, not pining and yearning and aching for once. Just a quietness settling in herself.
“I don’t want to be alone,” she repeats, then emboldened by them not telling her to fuck right off, “I want to do the thing where we try to love each other and keep trying to make things work, even after we learn all the bad things. Especially after.”
“You mean it?” Grant asks. His arms are crossed over his broad chest, like they always are when he’s playing hardball. “Because if you mean it, you can’t mean it halfway. If you say you’re in, it’s all in, or nothing, baby.”
“And if you change your mind?” Alice asks.
“We won’t,” Caleb says, his voice gruff. “I am so sure about this, Alice.”
Alice’s pulse races beneath her skin and she grins, taking one of each of their hands in hers. Something wholly and perfectly right clicks into place. She pulls them towards her and they wrap her in their arms. The tightest hug between the three of them as they bask in the quietness of the rooftop, the whole city is at a standstill as the sun sets in the distance.