Chapter 4
Knight of Swords seeks truth, moving forward with assertive action.
CAL
“Ihaven’t seen or talked to Paul for months. We have been divorced for six years and have no reason to communicate with each other. “
The detective appraises my face and my posture. I try to look sorry and sad. I’m not sure I succeed. His eyes narrow.
“I’m sorry that Paul was killed. We did not part ways amicably and haven’t had much contact since we divorced. He is a very controlling narcissistic person, and I am glad he is out of my life. I mean, I’m not glad he’s dead but if I never see him again, which I won’t since he’s dead….” My voice trails off.
The more I talk the more flustered I am. Good grief, Paul is DEAD?
“I’m making a mess of this.” I turn and face him. I read the look on his face—he thinks I’m guilty! I have a momentary vision of him snapping handcuffs on my hands and hauling me off to jail.
“Look, he was abusive and unfaithful. I was so addicted to him it almost destroyed my life. When he left me, I attempted suicide. But whatever issues we’ve had in the past, I certainly didn’t wish him dead, Detective.” That was a slight lie. Just two days ago I threw a tantrum like a two-year-old toddler in my boss’s office and yelled that I wanted to murder the sorry son of a bitch.
The detective’s next words shocked me. “Dr. Cassidy, I must warn you that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. If you cannot afford one, an attorney will be appointed to represent you.”
The side of me that is inappropriate in serious situations shows up. I let out a gut-busting bellow, laughing so hard that I fell out of my chair. In addition to being inappropriate, I am also a klutz.
I sit on the floor, laughing. This is surreal. I can’t wrap my head around what is happening. Paul is dead and I’ve just been read my rights. Have I entered an alternate universe?
I hear a commotion behind me. “Cal, are you alright? What happened?” Jim Stanton, my department chair, helps me off the floor. He glares at Detective Chan.
“I’m fine, Jim. I’m fine.”
Another lie. I’m not fine. I’m confused and disoriented by the news of Paul’s death.
“Jim, this is Detective Chan. He has just informed me that Paul was murdered yesterday.”
“What? Is this a joke?” He glares even harder at the detective.
“No, sir. I don’t joke about murder. And you are?
“James Stanton, head of the School of Psychology. Paul was murdered. How? Why? Who would want to murder Paul?”
“Apparently the detective thinks I would, Jim. He just informed me I have a right to remain silent.”
I watch as Jim takes a step toward the detective and then stops. He unclenches his hands and retreats. Jim has much better self-control in stressful situations than I do.
The detective looks at me and then at Jim. He appears calm and detached but I note the calculating look on his face. Holy crap, he is wondering if Jim and I murdered Paul together!
“Mr. Stanton, I’m afraid I can’t give either of you any details. We are still processing the crime scene.” He turns to me. “Dr. Cassidy, I have a few more questions for you.”
“Good grief,” Jim shakes his head and gives me a hug. “I was just coming in to see how the lecture went. I’ve got an appointment and I’m late already. You gonna be OK? Do you need a lawyer?”
I shake my head and wave him away. “No, go.”
As Jim walks away, the detective asks, “Boyfriend?”
“Oh goodness, no. Friend, boss, and married to my roommate from Med School. Listen, Detective, I am absolutely whipped. I didn’t sleep well last night.” He doesn’t need to know it’s because I was having a meltdown over my lying, cheating, and now dead ex-husband.
“I’ve been on my feet since 6 a.m. I need a huge cup of coffee.”
I stand up and walk toward the door, motioning for him to follow me. “Let’s go to my office and I’ll answer your other questions.”
As we walked out of the building, I see Jim ahead of us. He hesitates and turns to look at me. He had warned me a few days ago when I stood in the hallway outside his office to keep my voice down. I did not.
“I’m going to kill Paul. He has cheated me for the last time. I WANT HIM TO DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH.”
Jim ushered me into his office and closed the door.
“Aw, Cal, what’d you have to say that for? Rolf overheard everything you said. You know he’s out to get you. He took your last outburst to Dean Minton and I had a hell of a time smoothin’ that one over. Shhh… Hold your voice down and pull yourself together.
I exploded. “Did you just shush me? TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST SHUSH ME.”
His concern then and now is evident. He has every right to be worried. He was there six years ago when I found out about Paul’s affairs and began a rapid descent into depression.
I feel the threads of sanity loosen. Over Paul. Again.