Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
Birdie
I sit behind the hospital desk, tapping my sneakers against the linoleum floor. All of my patients are taken care of for the time being, so I’m trying to work through some charts while I have free time. I reach for my water bottle and take a sip as a security guard walks through the double doors leading to my hall.
He must be new because I’ve never seen him before. As he gets closer, my eyes lower to the bouquet of fresh flowers he’s holding between his hands. It’s a stunning arrangement, bursting with pink roses and lilies.
It must be someone’s birthday or anniversary today.
I’m so bemused by the flowers that I don’t notice him stopping at the desk.
Right in front of me.
“Hi, I’m looking for Birdie Wren,” he says while staring down at me.
My heart jumps in my chest as my eyes widen.
Birdie Wren .
Only one person calls me by my first and middle name. Everyone else knows me as Birdie Ambrose.
“That’s me,” I reply breathlessly.
“These just came for you,” he smiles. “Would you like me to leave them here? We can also hold them in the lobby if you prefer.”
I open and close my mouth, trying to string together words because I’m too stunned to speak.
No one has ever sent me flowers at work.
Now that I think about it, I don’t think anyone has ever sent me flowers in general. When we were kids, my dad used to bring home flowers for me and Winnie on Valentine’s Day. But aside from that, I’ve never received an arrangement as beautiful as this.
I’ve always been the employee who envied their coworkers when special packages would arrive for them. I wondered what it would feel like to be admired like that. To be showered with love, even on the simplest of days.
“Ma’am?” the guard asks, my spellbound gaze still fixed on the flowers.
“Sorry,” I shake my head. “They’re just so beautiful. I’ll take them.”
When he moves his fingers to readjust his grip, I see a note strung with ribbon around the center of the vase.
“Here you go.” He reaches over the counter and places the bouquet on the desk in front of me. “You have a great day, ma'am.”
“You too. Thank you,” I smile. He nods before turning and heading back down the hall.
I wrap my fingers around the glass vase and close my eyes as I breathe in the sweet aroma. A hint of spice and citrus comes from the lilies, blending perfectly with the roses.
My eyes snap open when I hear a cluster of “oohs” and “ aahs” coming from a few of the nurses passing by. I instantly feel the blush creeping along my cheeks. Now I know what it feels like to be the woman that others watch from afar with a covetous stare.
I swallow thickly as I lower my gaze to the note.
It’s handwritten with black ink, and even after eleven years, I immediately recognize the scribble.
I feel a deep jolt in my stomach as I read the note.
Birdie Wren,
I hope work isn't too crazy today. I meant to tell you this the other night, but your career is pretty fucking cool. Not only do you save lives, but you get to be in the same city as me while doing it. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that you’re a badass. Anyways, I miss you. I can’t wait to see you next week. I thought about checking myself into the emergency room on the off chance that you would be my nurse. But then, I thought you might be pissed if I did that. So, I’ll just have to wait…unfortunately. Call me when you get off tonight. If you don’t, I’ll just end up calling you. Didn’t you miss my clingy ass?
Love,
Cal
My cheeks hurt from smiling as I lift a hand to my mouth and laugh at his cute but witty note. Callum’s always had the best sense of humor.
It’s been a week since he invited me over to his place. He asked me if I wanted to have dinner a few nights ago, but I had just finished working a twelve-hour shift and desperately needed a shower, Advil, and sleep.
Aside from being exhausted, I’m trying not to move too quickly with Callum.
You should have thought about that before you begged him to finger fuck you on his kitchen counter.
I clench my thighs together as heat rushes to my core at the memory.
I haven’t been able to stop replaying that night in my mind. Every little detail has invaded the hidden corners of my brain that were vacant before.
Like a vivid dream, I can still feel how mind-blowing his fingers felt between my thighs and how badly I wanted other parts of him there. I can still see the contorted look on his face when he came—a triad of intoxication, lust, and pleasure. I can still taste the red wine on his tongue. Like a familiar song, I distinctly remember the rhythm of his heart beating in tandem with mine.
I haven’t been able to sleep through the night without waking before sunrise to feel wetness pooling between my thighs. This morning, I slipped my hand beneath my sleep shorts and sunk my fingers inside my aching core. I closed my eyes and pretended that it was Callum touching me. And when I succumbed to my release, it was his name that I cried into the empty air.
But still, it’s not enough. My hands are much softer than his calloused fingers. My moans are much more delicate than his guttural groans. Nothing could come close to comparing to him.
Once again, I’m completely captivated by Callum Pierce. Unequivocally under his spell.
And that scares the ever-living shit out of me .
Deep down, I know that’s the real reason why I turned down dinner the other night.
I’ve always been one to fall fast and hard. But with Callum, I fucking dive into the abyss. If I’m not careful, I’ll spiral out of control before I even have a chance to recognize that I’ve lost control.
I want to see where things can go with Callum, but I also have to protect my heart while doing it.
After I told him that I wouldn’t make it to dinner, he asked me if I wanted to go to the Gulf Shores Summer Fair with him this weekend. It’s a seaside carnival that comes to town one week out of the year with games, rides, and a variety of food trucks. I’ve obviously never been, but Callum said it’s worth experiencing at least once.
I said yes, mostly because I know that if we only hang out at Cal’s place, we won’t be doing much talking. When you’ve been pining after someone for over a decade, it’s hard not to want to jump their bones every chance you get. At least at the fair, we’ll be in public and won’t have to worry about fucking each other’s brains out.
We’ve been texting every day and even talked on the phone a few times, but hearing his voice doesn't come close to filling the void in my chest. It’s only been a week, and I already miss him like crazy. I feel like I’m seventeen again, counting down the minutes until I see him next.
With a giddy smile stretched across my face, I unlock my phone and type out a text to Callum.
Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful. And for the record, I think your job is pretty fucking cool too. We’re just a couple of badasses out here saving the world. I think it’s sweet that you miss me, but I promise that faking an illness just to see me isn't worth the ER bill. Trust me. I’ll call your clingy ass when I get off tonight. Miss you.
“What do you have there?” Andy, my favorite security guard, asks as I approach the hospital exit. He always stops me for a quick chat after a shift.
I halt my steps, looking down at the vibrant bouquet in my right hand. Without looking in a mirror, I know that my cheeks are turning bright pink.
“Oh,” I stammer. “Uh… Someone sent me flowers today.”
He knits his gray brows together.
“Is today your birthday or something?”
“Nope,” I shake my head nonchalantly. “They were just thinking about me, I guess.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, seeing right through my vague reply.
“That’s nice of them,” he clicks his tongue. “Who sent the flowers?”
None of your business, Andy.
“Just a friend,” I shrug.
Just the guy I was screaming at in the parking lot. Just the guy you banned from the hospital.
Oh, how the tables have turned…
He arches a knowing brow, not buying a penny of my bullshit.
“That friend wouldn't also be your stalker, would it? ”
Shit.
He knows exactly what’s going on here.
“What?” I exhale, trying to sound shocked by his question. A crooked smile curves his lips.
“They’re from him, aren't they?” he smirks. “I can see the answer written across your face.”
I sigh and place a hand on my hip before narrowing my eyes, scowling at him like I would my dad.
“Why are you being so nosy tonight, Andy?”
“Being nosy is part of my job, Ms. Ambrose.”
“Well, your manager would be happy to know that you’re exceeding expectations,” I reply with a hint of sarcasm. I wrap my fingers around the backpack slipping off my left shoulder and exhale a tired breath. “I’m gonna head home now, Andy. I’m exhausted after today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I flash him a soft smile before heading for the door leading straight out to the parking lot. With each step I take, I pray that Andy is done prodding me about the flowers. But if I’ve learned one thing about Andy in the short time I’ve worked here, it’s that he's a stubborn old man.
Just as I reach for the door, his crackly voice pierces through the silence.
“He put on quite a show that night.”
I stop in my tracks as my heart begins to race. I slowly look over my shoulder to find Andy shaking his head. His lips are pursed together, like he’s trying to hold back a smile.
“What?” I breathe.
“Hell, he might really be a stalker for all I know, but that man loves you, Birdie,” he states. “I’ve had sixty-five trips around the sun, and I’ve seen very few people look at each other the way you two did that night. I’m sure you had every right to be upset with him, but damn, you have that man wrapped around your finger.”
His words hit me like a tidal wave.
Were we that obvious?
Even with my accusatory screams and cursing, Andy was still able to pick up on how much Callum means to me.
“His name is Callum,” I mutter, turning to face him. “We grew up together.”
The least I can do is give Callum a name after accusing him of being a deranged stalker and getting him barred from the hospital. I still feel like shit for how I rejected him in the parking lot that night, treating him like a heartless criminal.
“I figured there was some history between you two,” Andy nods.
I don’t know why I’m opening up to Andy about Callum, but it feels nice to talk to someone other than Winnie about our relationship.
Andy is a complete outsider when it comes to me and Callum. He didn’t know us as kids like Winnie, so he has no biases. All he sees are two people who are painfully in love with each other.
“He, uh… He hurt me really bad,” I croak. “Not physically or anything like that,” I quickly clarify, “but emotionally, he wrecked me. And the night that he showed up at the hospital… That was rock bottom for us. I’m sorry that you had to be a part of that, Andy. I’m sorry that I lied to you about him. I just started seeing him again, which was after you met him. We definitely were not talking then. Honestly, I never thought I would talk to him again after that night. But…here we are.”
I’m word vomiting now, talking a mile a minute and spewing out explanations that Andy didn’t ask for.
Oh, the joys of being a people pleaser.
“Hey,” Andy holds his hands up in surrender. “You don’t have to apologize to me. That was the best damn entertainment I’ve had in a while. ”
I roll my eyes and place a hand on my hip.
“Really, Andy?” I chuckle. “Well, I’m glad that my tumultuous relationship amuses you.”
He throws his head back and lets out a deep laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“I’m just messin’ with you, kid,” he pushes out, trying to catch his breath. When he clears his throat, his voice lowers to a more serious tone.
My gaze zeros in on his, knowing that he’s about to give me some words of wisdom. He always does when he gets quiet like this.
“I don’t know much about love,” he breathes. “I’ve had two marriages, both of which ended in divorce. But I know a bit about life, and when you find a person that makes you a little crazy, that’s not always a bad thing. What’s a life that doesn’t challenge you once in a while? That sounds like a boring existence to me.”
My eyes flick between his, holding his stare as I digest every word.
“What I’m trying to say is,” he adds, “I’ve never chased after a woman like that. As pathetic as it sounds, I’ve never found anyone who makes the hard times worth the good. It’s rare to find someone who will fight for you, Birdie. And he was fighting for you, unashamedly, in a hospital parking lot. As long as he treats you right, you should give yourself a chance to be happy. And if he doesn't, then you just send him my way. I’ll deal with him.”
A small chuckle falls from my lips as I lift a hand to rub away the water blurring my vision.
“Thanks, Andy. I’ll be sure to tell him that,” I snicker. “But really, thank you. That means a lot.”
When his eyes lower to my quivering chin, he carefully wraps an arm around my shoulder and brings me in for a side hug.
“Alright, kiddo,” he sighs against the top of my head. “No more of this sappy stuff. I don’t want to send you off crying after a long shift. Go home and get some rest.” He gives my shoulder a warm squeeze before releasing me.
I contemplate his words the entire drive to my apartment.
At sixty-five years old, Andy still hasn't found that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that people long for. And suddenly, it hits me that some people go through life without ever finding their person. Without ever experiencing the kind of all-consuming, indescribable love that I have with Callum.
Andy’s right. Loving someone is like a mountain range full of crests and valleys. The droughts may feel scarce and dim, but God, when you see the view from the peak, it makes every grueling step to the top worth it.
How lucky am I to have found Callum not just once, but twice in one lifetime?
I’ve been carrying around a sense of shame for letting him back in after he disappeared, leaving me broken for so many years. At first, I felt weak for even giving him the time of day. But as each day passes, I realize how strong I am.
Giving my heart back to Callum is single-handedly my biggest fear because he is the only person with the power to crush it between his fingers.
I’ve experienced heartbreak. I’ve experienced loss. I know how devastating rock bottom feels. And even though I’m scared of going back to that place, I’m tired of running in reverse. I’m so fucking tired of living in the past, hoping that a memory of Callum will give me enough serotonin to make it through the day.
I don’t have to survive off of the memories anymore. My blind faith is telling me that we finally have a chance to pave a new path together. A route that doesn't end in heartbreak.
A besotted smile fills my cheeks as street lights flicker across my face. I look down at the flowers sitting in my passenger seat and hope like hell that I made the right decision.