Chapter 6 Tails of Two Lovers
Tails of Two Lovers
Reefer Madness: The Musical plays as I snack on chocolate ice cream.
Leo’s been in his office upstairs for hours.
Just because we’re laying low at home, doesn’t mean he’ll stop working.
We’ll see how busy he’ll become, while the Crew and Chiari handle the chaos outside.
Curione’s territories are being divided up between the other crime families, whilst Rossi’s organization is another story.
Apparently, there’s already been some fights, but likely some guy named Petrinolli will inherit Rossi’s.
I was present for a couple of phone calls, but that was over an hour ago.
I’ve no idea where Leo put Eleanor. Oddly enough, I don’t care to know. Never thought I wouldn’t.
Once the ice cream is gone, I put the bowl down and attempt to focus on the movie.
Leo didn’t answer the question.
He wanted to think it over, so we tried to move on from the topic while having breakfast. Not long after, the phone calls from Jameson and the others started. All of them sounding agitated.
My fingers tap on my leg, trying to distract my running thoughts with what movie to watch next. The Wicker Man. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Or maybe—
My gaze flicks towards the playroom.
“I won’t ask you to be something you aren’t.”
What if I was though?
Yesterday, I didn’t necessarily hate giving him orders. The Autumn half a year ago would’ve screamed no at the idea of being a Dom, but now? Well…things change, including me and Leo.
I try to go back to watching the movie, but my gaze keeps going to the playroom. Pausing the movie, I take my dishes to the kitchen and head back to finish the movie, but stop. I glance toward the stairs. Quiet. He’ll probably be busy until dinner.
Slowly, I turn and head down the hall, opening the playroom door and turn on the lights.
Stars in the ceiling twinkle as the lamps glow.
I inhale deeply the warm scent the room has, taking in the comfort of the violet walls.
Socks coming off, I sink my toes into the rug and smile.
The thoughts start to quiet, slowing down as I look up at the St. Andrew’s cross.
The ropes on the wall arranged neatly behind.
Images from the books I read flash across my mind.
I walk towards the drawers, opening one to pull out a simple black leather crop.
Curiosity fuels me as I step back, giving myself space as I hold my hand up, palm up. Lightly, I tap the end of the crop on my hand, and then raise it to smack down. It slaps against my skin, stinging.
“Ow, holy cabooses, yup not for me.” I shake my hand, flexing it as the sting subsides. “Crop works. Great.”
I put it back, pulling out a flogger next.
It’s not thick with its tails, which are leather and thin.
The handle is wooden with a leather loop at the end.
I grip the neck, allowing the tails to dangle.
It’s not heavy as I gently swing it through the air, swishing back and forth.
I walk around the room, swaying the flogger as I pace and think.
After a while, I sit on the edge of the bed with a huff and lay it across my lap.
Between my fingers, I play with the soft pieces of leather.
Staring at the flogger, I realize I want to be Leo’s Dom.
I want him to feel safe; to find emotional release like I do with him in here.
I want him to feel heard and cared for. For him to have those moments to let go of his ever-present control.
But mostly, I want to be that person for him.
Deep down, I think, I crave the kind of power it provides, too.
That need to know he’s truly mine to love, cherish, give pleasure to, and give what no one else can.
To be trusted like that. Maybe I was always a Switch, too.
Except, he may not want it. Leo trusts me with so much, but this was different.
I know it’s different from experience. To give over control like that, and the vulnerability that comes with it.
To have faith and so much trust in them.
If he doesn’t think he can, because of what happened in the past, then that means I have to be at peace with that.
He’s never forced me to do any of this, I did it willingly. He needs to be willing, too.
I loosen a sigh. Crud muffins.
Could I go back to dealing with crime boss secrets again? No, wait, no I don’t.
Tingles run up my spine, tugging with warning at the back of my neck. I focus to not succumb to that feeling, knowing who’s watching me. I look up, finding Leo standing casually in the doorway with his hands in his pockets.
“How’d the meetings go?” I ask.
Sure, we’ll just act like I’m not petting a fucking flogger in my lap.
“We’ll be staying here for the next week.” He walks over, sitting beside me on the bed. “I’d prefer us stay at the estate, but given it’s condition and location being compromised here is best.”
“How’s the hotel?”
“Crew is going through all employee records and backgrounds…” he clears his throat, gaze meeting mine, “…I want to give Eleanor to Julio to use.”
“Okay.” His brows furrow. “Gave it to you, Leo. It’s yours. Want to take down the government? Fine. Dismantle Hollywood? Okay. Find out who really killed Tupac? Have at it. Just let me know when you do, there’s a safety feature I created that will self-destruct the program if used without it.”
Leo tilts his head, almost smirking. “Oh?”
“Not the only paranoid one in here.”
He hums, nodding his head. “You’re truly giving it to me?”
“I got what I needed, which was helping you, protecting your businesses—”
“Our.”
“Our,” I smirk, then shrug. “It was my last huzzah as a hacker. I’d like to go into the sunset with my movies. So, no leaving our castle…” Leo snorts, “…until it’s a little safe?”
“Taking precautions and hoping that no one will retaliate. Although them fighting over Curione’s and Rossi’s territories should keep them content. Not to mention the promise of keeping their secrets safe and ours.”
My brows come together. “What do you mean ours?”
Leo takes my hand, rubbing his thumb over my wedding ring. Oh.
“Our marriage will remain secret to the public,” he explains. “Anyone else who knows will be sworn to secrecy, whether they helped you or not.”
Likely threatened, but tomato, tomato.
“Why continue keeping it a secret?”
“Between the publicity of the public that will follow, angry lawyers and investors who won’t be happy about the lack of a prenup, but mostly because of my family. I don’t want them to know yet.”
“You don’t just mean your brothers, do you?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve never completely trusted Renato, but conversations of late have been concerning. It’s best, I think, to wait and see what he does next.”
Here I thought I was a good chess player. I’m certain Leo is steps ahead already.
I don’t push further, not feeling in the mood to deep dive into the politics of his family tree regarding his uncle. He’s supposed to be keeping an eye on Matteo in Italy, but seems to be doing a shit job. My gut churns, anxiety pricking at the bottom of my spine.
“Alrighty, keep it secret, keep it safe,” I say, gripping his hand. “Anything else I should know?”
“We may have to go to Italy.”
I blink at him.
Not even close to being on my bingo card. Maybe I did land in a Nick Cage film.
“It’s not a certainty,” he says, stroking my hair back.
“If things worsen with my brothers, then I need to have a face-to-face conversation with Renato. It’s not just family fortunes at stake, but businesses spanning internationally, too.
Or to drag Matteo back to the states. Either way, I can’t do any of that here. ”
“You’d take me with you?”
His brows raise. “I wouldn’t go across state lines without you. No way in hell am I leaving the country without you.”
I smile faintly, tightening my hold around his hand. I’m not sure what I’d do if he did leave without me.
“Could also use the trip as a vacation. Or honeymoon,” he murmurs. I sputter out a sudden laugh. “I don’t want your first trip out of the U.S. to be completely for my family’s asshole behaviors. You deserve better than that.”
The mirth I had turns into appreciation, knowing he’s serious.
He’d try to turn part of the trip into something for us, for me.
His expression softens, brushing his thumb over my wrist. The emotions inside become a growing wave, gathering within as tears start to rush forward.
My chest constricts, heart aching once again as I look at the man I know I’d die for.
The revelation, real and all-consuming, hits me.
“So do you,” I whisper.
A faint smile pulls at his lips. Leo sighs, head turning to look at the St. Andrew’s cross. We sit in silence as his hand tightens around mine.
“Leo?”
He breathes in deeply. “Remember in Dr. Maxwell’s session how you told me you were afraid I’d leave you? Replaceable was the word used.”
I wait, gripping his hand back as he keeps his gaze on the cross.
“I worry I may ask too much of you,” he says. “That in order to be with me, I will be your hardest burden to bear. At times, it appears I keep being the reason why you must change. To become someone else in order to…survive loving me.”
I move my hand to touch his cheek, and he lightly presses his face against my palm.
“You haven’t made me change, Leo,” I say softly. “You helped me realize parts of myself that I didn’t know existed. Parts that were either buried or I never felt worthy enough to be. You’re not a burden to love.”
A tear silently rolls down his cheek towards my hand.
Then, in an almost broken, soft voice he says, “Please don’t ever leave me.”