Chapter 9 Below the Belt #2
“He wasn’t in that meeting with you.” My stomach drops as I slump back against the table. “That wasn’t you in there, that was him.”
Everything feels heavy, my mind scrambling to make sense of all this. It feels like a hurricane that won’t stop.
“He didn’t watch you go to bed alone, night after night,” he continues. “How you busied yourself, bettering the hotel, and then taking away any praise you deserved by dishing out money to his employees.”
My mind screeches to a halt. What the fuck?
I didn’t want praise for that, I wanted to help people and assuage my own damn guilt.
I look up at him, brows pinching together.
This has been festering for months, and there’s something about his tone that creates a prick at the back of my neck. A deeper anger.
“You had to flee the city again, because of him, and then return to save his businesses, reputation, and even his damn money. It’s one thing to help him on hard days, but entirely another to relinquish what you had left of your old life.
It jeopardized your safety. You even killed a man for him, for god’s sake. ”
A sharp breath leaves him as he steps back, pacing as he breathes heavily. He rubs his head, while I look down at the ground, not believing what I’m hearing. We’re quiet, the silence consuming as he paces.
“Love is not enough to sustain a relationship,” he states, stopping. I look up at him through my lashes, almost glaring. “I worry in his attempt to wreak revenge on anyone he seeks, he will get you killed or worse.”
“You don’t think he knows that?”
“I think he believes he’s God.”
A scream claws at my throat, to tell him that when it’s only Leo and I, he’s just a man.
A man who’s been beaten, broken, betrayed, and who’s held the world on his shoulders against his will.
Shackled with responsibilities that he both chose and didn’t.
Or to tell him, some nights he’s that boy crying over the phone to his parents to save him.
How much he hides behind that scowl, while on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No. Leo doesn’t believe he’s God. His back tattoo flashes before my eyes. I know who he thinks he is—a fallen angel, cast out and hunted by angels and…demons.
“Miss Autumn, I love you.”
My entire body goes still, staring at Isaac in horror. Oh, fuck, NO. This is not going to turn into some unrequited love bullshit. “Isaac—”
“Not like that, what I mean is that I’m fond of you. Not just because it’s my job do I follow and listen to you, but out of respect, friendship, and…love. I cannot keep watching as he…he…influences you.”
“You wanted to say control,” I counter.
“You must admit, he does end up controlling some of your decisions.”
It’s then, I feel something inside me snap. A line he finally crossed that he shouldn’t have. I stand fully, straightening myself as I press my arms to my sides to hide the shaking. Anger pulses through me as I clench my jaw.
“So, you saying that I’m capable of anything was bullshit?”
His brows pinch, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“But it is, isn’t? I’m able to kill a man, but that comes with strings attached because who you saw was Leo, not me,” I state, venom filling my words as that anger from a week ago resurfaces.
“I, of course, couldn’t have decided fully on my own…
my husband has to have been involved. The same in deciding on using a program I fucking created years ago. ”
“Autumn—”
“No, you will listen like I have!” My voice raises, causing him to step back.
“Surprisingly, I’m not some damsel who needs her hand held all the time.
Just because you saw me at my lowest, does not give you the right to use it against me or throw vitriol at my husband.
My trauma is not yours to use as a tool to condemn me as powerless.
I am allowed to be angry and feel every damn emotion of the human experience without it becoming a weapon against the one man who has never spoken down to me like I’m a child. ”
Isaac’s expression drops, but all I see is red.
“To you, Leo controls everything he touches; the MC, businesses, hotels, family, you, even the women he’s fucked,” I spit out the last word, and he almost stumbles back.
“Easy to assume, that of course, he has to be controlling Autumn, too. Because how else could a man like that function? Here I thought that you and the rest of the Crew would never believe the mask he carved so fucking well, but apparently, he’s gotten so damn good at wearing it that you fell for it.
You fell for the lies and carefully placed details he’s created since he was a child, who was abducted for ransom to sell back to his own father! ”
I’m seething with anger, taking another step closer as my voice becomes low and threatening. “He is not God; he is a man who wants to stay with the only person who doesn’t believe he’s made of stone.”
My hands shake in anger, body trembling as I clench my fists. Isaac stares at me in shock, while tears gather in my eyes.
“You think you’re scared for me?” My words come out soft, but are filled with ire, unable to stop as my heart cracks.
“Imagine the woman you love disappearing, not knowing what happened to her, and then she comes back with cuts down her legs she gave herself. And then you clean them, help heal them. Imagine telling your men to stay with her, but they left her alone, and you find her holding a k-bar to her wrist.” His eyes widen in horror.
“Imagine hearing her screams. Imagine her showing up bruised and bloodied. Imagine watching her almost break, while locked in an interrogation room. After all of that… then imagine listening to men confess what they did to her. How they broke her. What they planned to do. Or that your own brother planned and tried to rape her.”
He remains silent as a tear moves down his cheek.
“I have put that man through hell, and yet he’s not complained once while my bloodied decisions were on his hands,” I say as my tears run down my face. “Until the day I die, I will defend him with every cell in my body, damn it.”
Isaac looks away, staring at the ground as more tears fall.
“And just like you Isaac, his own love and need to protect me, blinded him. He fucked up. I know. Just as I’ve fucked up because not everything is his fault.
You Forgotten Demons have your codes with women to the point I think none of you will ever willingly be angry with me, so you lash out at him.
But enough is enough. I lied to you. I lied to the Crew.
I deceived every single one of you and did what none of you could do.
It’s not his pride and ego that was chipped, it was yours. ”
His eyes snap to mine. Isaac’s chest rises heavily as he frowns, clenching his hands like a child caught.
“You want to be mad at someone, spew your venom at me. I know everything, Isaac, including the fine print when he married me.” A different kind of horror forms on his face.
“You and every person in this city should be very thankful that I love him because I could turn this city into complete fucking chaos. Terrified or not, if he didn’t walk through those doors, I would’ve eviscerated those men to remind them of the woman they didn’t kill.
It wasn’t his anger you saw; it was mine.
So, I will warn you once, if you ever speak so horribly about my marriage because of your love for me again…
” I step closer, body shaking with wrath and pain, “…I will show you how unforgiving I can truly be. Am I clear?”
A numbness comes over his face, the emotions draining from him. Almost too quietly and detached, he says, “Yes, Mrs. Luciano.”
My heart clenches painfully. Blue eyes haunting me. “Go home.”
I turn on my heel, walking heavily to the door and step inside the apartment.
Quickly, I shut the door and lock it, sliding down as I begin to sob into my hands.
My body shakes as I cry, trying not to make any noise for him to hear through the door.
I sob, letting out the anger and frustration as I wrap my arms around my legs. I tremble and cry out the hurt.
It seems forever before the tears start to dry, my throat somewhat scratchy and my body tired.
I lay my head against my knees, letting out a trembling breath before I stumble up from the floor.
My legs are fuzzy and achy as I shake them out, prickling beginning in my feet and calves.
I make my way to the couch, slumping onto it and stare up at the ceiling.
A migraine begins to set in as I rub my head, throbbing as I wince.
Grumbling, I get up and change clothes. I tug on sweatpants, a baggy shirt, and some blue socks.
They don’t give as much joy as I’d like, but they’ll do for now.
I go to the kitchen, staring at the cabinets.
Head pounding, I lean onto the counter as I feel my body revolt at the idea of food.
Great. Full blown argument, thunder dome style with Isaac and now, headache from hell.
Maybe I should take a nap on the couch until Leo comes home.
I glance at the clock, squinting past the pain, and realize it’s barely early afternoon. Fucking crud muffins.
A knock disrupts my thoughts. I groan, not ready to deal with anyone. The knock sounds again, and the door handle jiggles. Brain foggy from the headache, I sigh and walk to the door. I unlock it, opening to reveal the last person I thought I’d see today.