Chapter 10 Bravery in Many Forms
Bravery in Many Forms
“Your hair looks good,” Jameson compliments.
I blink at him in shock, then wrap my arms around myself. “Thanks. Leo isn’t here.”
“I know. He’s in a meeting, and then leaving soon for one with Finstrum.”
Head still pounding, I peek past him to the lilies, where I yelled at Isaac. I’m not sure if I’m up for another argument the way I’m feeling.
“Autumn, are you alright?” He dips his head to look at my face.
Swallowing hard, I attempt a shrug. “Fine. What do you need?”
“May I come in?” Not sure what I’m trying to process more: that Jameson is here at all or that he asked to come in. “Leo knows I’m here.”
Even curiouser.
I step aside, gesturing for him to enter and close the door behind him. He ambles into the kitchen, stopping at the counter as I try to blink past the migraine that’s growing.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Headache.” I lean back against the counter across from him. “Want anything to drink?”
“No, thank you.”
He watches me a moment, and I think the headache is messing with me because he seems…softer than usual. I keep my arms wrapped around me, waiting for him to yell at me next given today’s track record with bikers.
Jameson walks over to one of the cabinets, grabs a washcloth, soaks it with cold water, and then rings it out. I watch him, unsure what to do, until he comes over and places the cold washcloth at the back of my neck. I don’t move as he massages it against my skin.
“I apologize for being a fucking ass of late. Well, cabrón is what Enigma used and Ringer used dummkopf. Got chewed out in multiple languages.”
Okay, today is officially weird. Maybe I fell asleep and need to click my socks together three times.
“Uh, what?” I ask, looking up at him as he keeps the washcloth in place. I’m not sure of the last time I was this physically close to him, if ever, but my headache is slowly subsiding.
“I was angry. With you. I was pissed about the secret marriage, lying about how deep your involvement was with the feds, Eleanor, the blackmail, and then stupidly taking on those crime bosses. You handled it…well. I will admit better than most men I’ve met.”
“Okay,” I murmur, staring at the buttons of his shirt.
He gently rubs the cloth over my neck, easing more of the tension from the headache.
“A few weeks back Ringer and I had a conversation,” he says.
“About?”
“That I need to ‘grow up’ or lose Leo.”
My breath shudders, and I gently reach up towards the washcloth. “Headache is gone. Thanks.”
Jameson pulls away, putting the washcloth over the sink edge, then leans against the counter across from me.
He speaks quietly, “It’s just been him and I for over fifteen years.
People have come and gone, even some Forgotten Demons.
Crew don’t know him like I do; what he’s done and sacrificed, not all of it.
I trusted no one, until you. Believed you in the library that day when you said you weren’t going to hurt him. ”
He purses his lips, hands gripping the countertop.
“But I disappeared.”
“And you hurt him.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Last few months, honestly, I’ve been waiting for you to do it again.
I was willing to forgive you, try to trust you again, but then he started down this dark, vengeful path.
All I could think was, ‘what if he does all this and she fucks him over?’ And then I heard about the changes you were making, money you were spending, and it reminded me of women who’ve tried to use him.
I thought you were going to screw him over. ”
I bite my lower lip, knowing I deserved what he thought. I’d brought it upon myself.
“Then more lies, hiding, and no clue what you all signed and agreed to. I got pissed with him next. Unsure if he was giving away what I built with him, too.” Jameson sighs, looking down at the ground.
“I was so angry how he defended both of you and your choices, that the day after all that shit went down I told him I should go back to California. Leave.”
“Please don’t leave me.”
My heart clenches. “Is that what this is? Good-bye?”
It’s quiet. The silence stretching as I stare at him.
“I saw the will, the real one,” he answers instead. He looks back up at me. “Even in death, you’re going to protect him.”
My chin quivers, and I nod faintly.
“I could never do that. Give him that kind of peace,” he admits. He inhales a deep breath. “Read the fine print of everything else. If he dies first…it’s you and I who control everything.”
“We would have never taken it away from you,” I whisper.
“I know that now. That like me…you just wanted him to be okay.”
I swallow hard, rubbing my hands over my arms. I ask again, “Are you leaving?”
“No,” he answers, a small smile on his face. “I need to grow up. Adjust to you calling the shots with Leo and trust you to take care of him. Won’t agree here and there, but I’m not perfect. Still…I apologize for my shitty behavior instead of just fucking talking to you again.”
“Can’t blame you. I did break my promise. I lied about who I was and kept secrets. Although, you’re the only one who has the balls to be mad at me. Get a gold star for that.”
He smirks, crossing his arms over his chest.
“How’d you go from potentially leaving for California to staying?” I ask.
“Had a real conversation with Leo. No yelling, shockingly.”
I snort, and then sigh with relief. One less person tearing down Leo.
“Showed me all the fucking paperwork you signed,” he says, and then a softness comes over his face. “And that he told you about Gretchen.”
“Who?” My brows raise.
“His ex-Dominatrix.”
My stomach flips again. “Yeah, he did.”
“Including what you agreed to.”
A nervous breath leaves me, moving to hold onto the counter edge. Where the fuck is my day going? I stare at the ground, unsure how to respond. Why would Leo tell him? He’s never told anyone about what we do. Is he having second thoughts? Why would—?
“Autumn.” His voice pierces through the rambling thoughts, and I glimpse at Jameson’s faint smile. “No specifics and I don’t want to know, but he told me because he’s happy.”
While I’m torn between being happy for Leo and shock that he told his best friend at all.
“I’m the only one who knew the truth of what Gretchen did.”
“What about Chesty, didn’t he help…well, get rid of her?”
“Like the rest of the Crew, he knew she was a play partner who attempted to blackmail him with their sessions. They all think he was the Dom, and that the videos would’ve made him appear abusive. Only I saw…” he clears his throat, “…some of the videos.”
“Oh.”
“When she turned on him, he shut everything out. It was the final break before the rest of his walls went up, and they stayed up for years. Gabriel and his family only made it worse. Until you.”
We stare at each other, and then I sigh almost in pleading exasperation. “I’m not going to screw him over. I promise. He’s safe with me.”
“I won’t pry, but…you’ll be able to give him what he needs?” He asks suddenly.
My head tilts, understanding more how much Jameson cares for Leo. Perhaps, something I should’ve noticed before. How deep their brotherhood was to him, even if it meant leaving.
“Yes,” I answer. “Honestly? I like knowing only I can do that for him. Take care of him. I want to.”
“I’ll have to get used to sharing him. Not in bed…you know what I mean.”
I smile faintly. “I do. You and me both.”
He grabs the washcloth to wring out again, putting it on the counter as he faces away from me. He stops, then says, “Thank you for taking care of him, Autumn.”
“May sound odd, but thank you for being angry with me, recognizing I did fuck up. And not entirely being mad at him.”
He looks at the couches, and I catch a faraway look on his face as I move over. He frowns, but in a saddened way that makes me glance towards where he looks. For a few moments, he just stands there silently staring at the empty space. His jaw muscles tighten before he clears his throat.
“Sombra means shadow in Spanish,” he states suddenly.
I stare at the couches, unsure what he’s seeing.
“Bikers even outside the Forgotten Demons would say ‘where there’s The Spartan, his Shadow isn’t far behind’ and the name stuck. He and others hated the idea of just calling me that, so it was decided on Sombra.”
As he tells me his road name origin, I wonder if he didn’t like being Leo’s shadow. Did he feel eclipsed by always being tied to him? He said long ago he preferred staying out of the spotlight, but some days did he regret it?
His gaze still hasn’t torn from the living room. A sinking feeling looms, telling me that something else happened here. I don’t think he’ll tell me just yet. If ever.
“Collected all the road name origins, now?”
“Supposedly,” I answer.
Finally, he tears his gaze away, looking at me. “Who you missing?”
“Leo’s road name, I mean he told me, but…” I exhale sharply, “…it’s partially because of what I saw at the warehouse, isn’t? Him getting bloody?”
Golden brown eyes stay with mine. “Then you have collected all of them.”
Something silent passes between us, similar to the understanding we had at the public library or the diner, but deeper. An agreement.
He points to the washcloth. “If the headache comes back, just use a cold compress to help relieve the pain.”
“Thanks.” I smile weakly, and he starts to leave.
“I’ll make sure he’s not out late; get him home to you.”
“Jameson.” He stops, flicking those amber eyes to me. “Did I fuck things up?”
“No. Honestly, I truly think you did save him. Have a good night, Autumn.”
“You, too, Sombra.”
Jameson leaves, and I’m left stupefied. I think I need a drink. Yeah, fuck it, I need a drink.
I walk over to Leo’s liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of Dewar and pour two fingers worth. Some ice is added to my drink, and I sip practically moaning. Ohhh, I needed that.