Chapter 46
Penthouse Fever
Jameson’s arguing with Leo in the dining room.
I bring my book down, sitting in the living room after a long PT session.
Leanne and Trix were here as well, supportive as always, before having to leave.
My days were filled with PT mostly, along with other medical check-ups.
It’s been well over a month since I’ve woken up.
Although my mental state in healing was getting better, I could feel myself itching to leave the penthouse.
I used a wheelchair around the place, which was almost as fun as sliding in fuzzy socks.
That was kinda my goal—skating in socks without falling over instantly.
The therapist said to make a goal and I did. Never specified.
Jameson’s voice becomes agitated, switching to Spanish as they argue. Leo has been slowly going back to work, mainly just attending selective meetings in his office upstairs. He shuts everything down when 4pm hits.
Putting my book aside about hot firefighters, I scoot and transfer myself to the wheelchair.
A loud exhale leaves me as I settle in, grabbing the push ring to roll myself towards the dining room.
Even though I was making progress physically from the coma and trauma to my spine, there was so assurance I’d walk on my own again.
Still too early to tell. The docs wanted us to be aware that a wheelchair could be part of my daily life.
This, of course, meant Leo special ordered one.
It was a shiny black with a low backrest, no handles or arm rests, a big difference from the typical hospital one I started with. Easier brakes to use. This one was smoother to handle as well. My own little KITT, except it doesn’t talk back.
I come down the hall, peeking into the dining room where papers and folders have been scattered over the table. Leo stands with a rigid expression with his hands in his pockets. Jameson’s arms are folded across his chest, dressed in business attire. Leo’s in slacks and a long-sleeved shirt.
Jameson catches sight of me, walking around Leo to approach. “I need you to talk some sense into him.”
I raise my brows, wheeling myself into the room. “About?”
“That he can leave you here, and nothing bad will happen.” Our track records haven’t exactly been great for that to be a truthful statement. I must show it on my face, cause Jameson sighs. “Just to go to the Italian Lily.”
“Why does he?”
“Renaldi is arriving in New York tonight, and staying at the hotel.”
“Yeah, I know.” He wanted to talk with Leo in person and deliver something. Or escape Giovanna for a couple days.
“Wouldn’t you rather him meet Leo at the hotel, than here? Not to mention for safer protocols.”
“Thought nothing bad will happen,” I smirk, and Jameson gives me a look. Okay, not a joking matter and he’s not in the mood. Dark humor will help me; it will not with Jameson.
“It’s more professional, and to keep affairs separate,” Jameson continues to argue. “Not to mention, he hasn’t left this building in over two months.”
“You know he’s standing right there.”
“Yes, and I can feel him glaring at me.”
I glance past Jameson, and sure enough Leo is.
“Over three months he’s not made any physical appearances for meetings in person. It’s been a tough couple of months, but he still has responsibilities and businesses to run.”
“Jameson—”
“Talk to him.” His voice lowers as his gaze meets mine. I see the worry and frustration from having everything on his shoulders. And if there’s one person who hates being in the spotlight more than Leo, it’s Jameson.
I exhale heavily, flicking my eyes to the hall. Jameson takes the hint, walking out of the dining room. Leo stares at the ground, jaw grinding as his body becomes more rigid.
“I’ll be fine if you’re gone for a few hours, Leo.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” he says hoarsely. “Even if I know, rationally, you’ll be alright. I can’t…won’t be that far from you.”
“Okay, then I can go with you.”
“You know that’s risky, health wise. You’re rehabbing well, but that’s because you’re here.” His gaze meets mine, concern heavy. I move closer.
“I can stay in the office, where I won’t have to move much or tire myself out,” I say softly.
“The bathroom should be big enough for the wheelchair, but I’ll need help using it if there aren’t any safety rails installed yet.
” I clear my throat, thinking about other necessities.
“But there’s the apartment below, which Isaac and Chesty have already equipped for what I need. Has a bed and everything.”
Leo grunts out a breath, pulling one of the chairs out and sits down. He leans back, rubbing his hands over his pants. “I forgot about the apartment.”
A sudden giggle comes out of me.
“What?” He asks.
I get closer so my knees bump with his. “I just remember a time where that apartment is where you always were. Tables turned.”
He smirks weakly.
“I’ll be alright in the hotel, Leo,” I reassure him again. “One of the Crew will stay with me if I go to the apartment or Alba—”
He shakes his head. “She won’t go back. Apart from not working for me in that manner anymore, she doesn’t want to be there. We discussed it while you were…asleep.”
“Ahh.” I haven’t dared bring up Charlotte around her.
Leo’s hands fidget, shaking a little. He’s quiet, averting his gaze from mine.
“Hold your arms up please.” He gives me a confused look but does as I say.
I roll back a little, implementing the brake as I give myself enough space.
I then grab his arms, easing myself up slowly so I can shuffle forward and land on him.
Leo swiftly grabs my legs, pulling them over his to sit across his lap.
My head lays against his shoulder as his arm wraps around me.
I rub my hand over his chest, gently caressing him as he places his head upon mine. Gradually, Leo stops trembling.
He has small panic attacks like this. Similar to mine.
Although he’s been mostly in caregiver mode with me, which seems to help, there are still these moments.
Ones where I know the dynamic shifts ever so slightly, allowing him to lean on me.
Honestly, it made me feel better that we could balance each other.
It chipped away at my “am I burden” thoughts.
“Are you worried about me leaving the penthouse…or you?” I ask gently.
He inhales sharply, swallowing hard as I continue to stroke circles on his chest.
“Both.”
Leo holds me tighter, clutching me as the trembling comes back a little. I trail my hand up to the nape of his neck, holding him gently.
“I was terrified, too, years ago,” I say softly.
“Never wanted to leave my apartment again. So many what ifs. Everyone went back to normal it seemed, but I just couldn’t for so long.
Coming right out of something traumatic and horrendous will feel like that.
A dark cloud you can’t get out of. I don’t want to push you to leave before you’re ready, but I think it may be a good idea that you try.
To slowly start moving back to a…new normalcy. ”
“I didn’t think I’d be this shaken,” he murmurs. “After everything, horrors I’ve dealt with…this time I don’t feel…okay enough.”
“Leo, trauma isn’t something you compare, even with your own.” I lean away, cupping his face to look at me. “You were physically, mentally, and emotionally tortured. Not just that…day. You do not need to be okay right now.”
He brings his hand up, stroking my face gently. “I should be the one comforting you, you’re the one in a wheelchair.”
“It’s not the end of the world of me being in one.
” Leo gives me a look, and I sigh. “It’s new reality for me, yes, but not…
something devastating. Yeah, some days I really want to run or dance or just jump…
” I swallow hard, giving him a small smile, “…but I can hope to, one day. Even if I don’t, I can be thankful to be moving at all.
It’s gonna really suck some days, but I’ll be okay.
And rolling around in KITT is easier than your office chairs. ”
We both give a slight chuckle.
“And this is a two-way street, mister. Comforting each other.” I move my hand back to his chest, rubbing there again as I feel him become less rigid.
“And I am scared, too. It’s just the last time I felt utterly alone.
No clue how to go forward. Just survive.
As much as some days I may feel that now, I know I’m not alone.
There’s a future to work towards, even if it’s hard and terrifying. I have you. We have each other.”
Leo places his hand over mine against his chest. His heart beats underneath it, but not at as erratic. He takes a deep breath, nodding gently.
I glance down, noticing the bandages that still cover his wrists and lower forearms. He finally admitted to me he wants them hidden.
Not out of embarrassment of others seeing it, but for himself.
A stark reminder of what he’d been subjected to.
I’ve asked Dr. Maxwell for help, and he said time, and then we’ll work on self-acceptance.
“We’ll go to the hotel tomorrow,” he says.
“Are you sure?” I also knew seeing the hotel again wouldn’t be easy after the whole ordeal with Giovanna.
“Yes, putting it off may only make it fester.” He kisses my cheek. “I may shut down or become…cold again.”
“That’s okay. We’ll come home and then decompress. Watch a movie.”
He smiles faintly, stroking my hair back. “I love you, my dear wife.”
“I love you, my dear Leo. We’ll get through this.”
He kisses me briefly, before laying my head against his shoulder so he can cradle me in his arms. My hand continues to stroke his chest, helping calm him.
“I want you in here, but at the same time I don’t,” Leo comments, moving around his desk.