Chapter 12 Declan
DECLAN
I wake Amelia with a kiss.
It happens in fairy tales. Princesses get woken from deathly slumber by true love’s kiss. But believe me, the reality isn’t some magical moment that makes the audience go aww.
She’s in such a deep sleep on the couch in the living room, a blanket thrown over her, no doubt by Orla, that when my lips touch hers, she jolts from her dream with such a start, that her fist collides with my nose. Pain shoots between my eyes, and I feel blood trickling into my mouth.
“Oh my God, Declan, I’m so sorry.”
Amelia tips my head backward, pinches the bridge of my nose between her thumb and forefinger, and mops up the blood with the corner of the blanket.
“Does it hurt?”
I take the blanket off her and touch my nose gingerly. “I’ll live.” Then I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t think. It’s just, you looked so beautiful lying there, that I couldn’t wait any longer to hold you.”
She nestles against me like she’s preparing to hibernate in my lap through the winter. “I’m glad you’re home.”
I tilt her face toward me, and there are tears in her eyes. “Hey, what are these for?” I catch them on my fingertip.
“I…” She sniffs loudly. “I missed you.”
“I came back as soon as my business was resolved.”
It turns out I was wrong about the Murrays. My family’s long-standing rivals didn’t kill Ruairi, and I have Eoghan to thank for finding the real killer.
Because while I was here falling hard and fast for Amelia, Emily Murray was being held hostage by my eldest son’s murderer.
Eoghan formed his own alliance with Emily’s family, and together, they avenged Ruairi’s death and put the Irish feud behind us.
Now, we can all move on, and I know exactly who I want by my side.
“It’s all over, Amelia.”
Frown lines appear between her eyes, and I smooth them with my thumb. “All over?” There’s panic in her voice.
“Eoghan is taking care of business, States-side. I’m back to stay.”
“Wh-what does that mean?”
“It means that I want us to be together, Amelia. If you’ll have me. I thought about it a lot while I was away. I’m done with hiding how I feel. I’m done with sneaking you into my room after dark. Orla knows about us and she—”
“Orla knows?” Amelia rolls off my lap and starts pacing back and forth in front of the log burner. “How? What did she say? Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
I smile and offer her my hand. Amelia glances at it and keeps on pacing.
I stand up. “She saw us on the couch together the night of the wake. She told me to be patient and give you time.”
Amelia stops and watches me intently. Then, “That’s it? That’s all she said?”
I go to her and fold her into my arms. She’s trembling. I know it’s a lot to take in, and I don’t want to pressure her, but from her reaction, I’m worried that she might not want people to know about us. Not yet anyway.
“Amelia, we don’t have to do anything about this right now. We can take it at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. I just wanted you to know that I’m here. I’m yours. And I’m not going anywhere.”
She rests her head against my chest, her heart beating like a sparrow’s. This is fear. I’ve dealt with it enough in my lifetime to recognize it when I’m holding it in my arms. But I don’t know what she’s afraid of.
Is it me?
Did something happen while I was away, and now she knows who and what I am?
I should’ve told her, but I was trying to delay this reaction until we’d established what we both wanted from this relationship.
I promised myself that if she changed her mind, if she chose not to take this any further, I’d handle it with maturity and dignity. But fuck it’s going to be hard. While I was away, I allowed myself to envision a life together, and it feels as if the bubble is about to burst.
“It’s alright, baby.” I stroke her hair and rest my chin on the top of her head. “Whatever you want. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you, and I’ll never stop protecting you. You have my word.”
“I’m pregnant, Declan.” She freezes in my arms, the only movement the frantic beats of her heart against my chest.
The words hover between us. I’m pregnant, Declan. Just words.
Until they rearrange themselves into a sentence that literally changes my entire world as I know it.
A baby.
We’re going to have a baby.
An image pops into my head. In my study. I asked Amelia if it was alright to enter her without protection, and she said yes.
This is closely followed by a fleeting thought that she planned for this to happen. That she manipulated me into falling for her, used her youth to trap her wealthy new boss. It’s what people will say.
But I immediately dismiss it as insane. Fuck em. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.
I’ve seen the way she looks at me. I’ve experienced her passion, her honesty, her innocence. And if conning me was her goal, she’d be standing here right now blackmailing me into handing over a shitload of cash to keep it quiet.
She wouldn’t be worried about my reaction, afraid to look me in the eye.
I release her and hold her at arm’s length. Excitement fizzes inside my chest. It’s been a long while since I held a baby in my arms, but this feels like a sign from the universe. Ruairi was stolen from me, and he can never be replaced, but a baby might just help us all to heal.
“Amelia, this is wonderful news.”
She watches me with eyes filled with tears, and I realize that I’m so caught up in what this means for me that I haven’t even considered how she must be feeling.
I guide her to the sofa and sit her down, then I kneel in front of her and cover her trembling hands with mine.
“Can I get you anything? A drink… Food…” I’m aware that I’m smothering her, but Amelia was already precious to me, and now… Now she’s carrying my baby.
She smiles, and I finally draw a breath that fills my lungs. “You’re not angry?”
“Why would I be angry? I love you, Amelia. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and now you’re going to give me the most precious gift a man could ever hope for.”
Maybe it’s hormones, but her smile fades.
“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here when you found out. I’m sorry that you had to deal with it alone.” Because of course she didn’t come to Ireland to have a baby. “But I promise to be beside you every step of the way. Whatever you decide.”
As fucking heartbreaking as it would be if she tells me that she isn’t ready to have my baby.
It feels like an eternity waiting for her to say something. Then, in a tiny voice, “Do you really mean that?”
“A million fucking percent. Having a baby with you would make me very happy, Amelia. I only wish that Ruairi were here to be our child’s big brother.”
She nods, overwhelmed by emotions and my response to the news.
“We should celebrate. There’s champagne in the fridge.”
“I can’t drink alcohol.”
I realize that I’m grinning, but I can’t stop myself. “No, you can’t because you’re carrying our baby.” I cover her belly with my hand. “I didn’t think it possible to love you more, my sweet Amelia.”
“But?”
“But you proved me wrong. Please don’t ever stop proving me wrong.”
“I’ll try.” She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me long and hard.
Our lips are still locked when I carry her upstairs to my room and set her gently down on my bed.
I hardly get any sleep that night. Traveling always has this effect on me, my brain unable to switch off. But this combined with the closure gained from hunting down Ruairi’s killer, and the news that Amelia is having our baby…
I feel twenty-four years old again. Finding out that Niamh was pregnant with Ruairi, cementing our love with our beautiful baby.
Excitement. Anticipation. The element of fear that comes with bringing a child into the world, responsibility for another life, knowing that you must always find a way to do better.
I will do better. I make a silent vow to Amelia while she sleeps. I will protect you and our child with my life.
Orla is already moving about like a shadow downstairs when I slip out from under the covers leaving Amelia asleep. I shower, dress, and head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Orla peers at me from behind her mug of tea, steam curling around her face and giving her an ethereal look.
“Too much going on in here.” I knock my temple with my knuckles. I brew more tea and take my mug to the table to join her. “How are you, Orla? I’m sorry I haven’t been the best company.”
She gives me a wistful smile. “We’re weathering this storm together, Declan. Like we did before.”
I nod. “The business in America is resolved.”
I never discuss the intricacies of mafia business with my mother-in-law, but she understands why I had to go, and what business I’m talking about.
“Eoghan will divide his time between here and there with Emily.”
I swallow a mouthful of tea that’s too hot and wince as it scalds my tongue. I’ve made peace with my youngest son. In the beginning, I encouraged him to use Emily to our family’s advantage, and he found a way to bring our families together. Because he fell in love. And I’m truly happy for him.
“What about you?” Orla asks. “What will you do now?”
I haven’t discussed my feelings for Amelia with her. There simply never seemed to be a right time. But she should be the first to know.
“I’m in love with Amelia.”
She strokes the side of her mug with her thumb, her expression unreadable. “She is in love with you too.”
I smile. My chest swells to the size of a football field with this admission.
“She’s pregnant,” we both say at the same time.
“You knew?” I ask. “How? Did Amelia tell you?”
“She didn’t need to. All the signs were there.”
“How do you feel about it?” It must be difficult for her to finally watch her son-in-law moving on, even after all these years.
“I think the question is, how do you feel about it?”
“I’m happy, Orla. When Niamh died, I never thought… I never wanted to be happy again. It felt wrong that I should experience any kind of joy when she wouldn’t get to see her sons grow up.”
The lump in my throat is still there when I think about Niamh, but it’s finally getting easier. Thanks to having Amelia in my life.
“It isn’t wrong, Declan. It’s life. If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”
“You don’t think I’m crazy, falling for someone thirty years younger than me?”
“Of course you’re crazy. But love always is.”
Deep breath. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
“You have my blessing, Declan. Not that you need it.” She pauses. “While you were away, Amelia asked for my help to find her father.”
My hackles are instantly up. I know where she’s going with this.
“You know who he is, don’t you?” she asks.
“Yes, and I can’t let her find out what kind of man she’s related to.”
“The pregnancy might just encourage her to reach out to him, Declan, and the less he knows about her connection to the Byrnes the safer she’ll be.”
Orla stands up, and I realize what’s missing from the kitchen. There’s no aroma of baking bread.
“I think I’ll take Amelia into the village today,” she says. “Introduce her to people. You have a wedding to plan.”