Chapter 46
Juliana
I check my phone constantly, checking the time, waiting for him to get home. I know I should just walk away. I shouldn’t keep putting him through this but I need to know. I need to know if he feels the same way. This is a messed-up way to start a relationship. I know that. And who says we will even have a relationship? Especially after everything that’s happened.
I look around the apartment. My things have been cleared out, and Tatyana agreed to let me come back. She put up a fight but in the end, she agreed to let me stay with her again. But she made me promise that I would give this a try. She convinced me to stick around to have a conversation with Kurt. Although, I really don’t know what I’m trying to do anymore. I check my phone again. Where is he?
Just as I ask the question, I hear a key fumbling to be put in the lock. I give it a few seconds then I start to make my way over to the door to help him get in.
“Let me help,” a breathy, female voice says and I hear a wrestle for the keys. I freeze, my hand hovering over the lock.
“I got it,” a familiar voice grumbles and I take a step back. I hear a bump on the door and the sound of kissing. My heart falls into my stomach and I wrap my arms around myself, willing the tears to stay away. The struggle to open the door continues shortly and I hear more heavy breathing. Thinking quickly, I look around the apartment and run into the kitchen. I hope they don’t see me but I figure they will head straight to the bedroom and I should stay close to the door so I can make a quick escape.
The door finally opens and I duck down behind a counter, hugging my knees to my chest and pressing my face against my knees, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as if the back of my eyelids could protect me from the scene going on right on the other side of the counter. I hear the rustle of clothing and I whimper silently. The kissing noise becomes fainter and I pray they’ve gone to the bedroom so I can escape this apartment that now feels like a prison cell.
Slowly, I crouch in a squatting position. I peek around the edge of the counter and the sight in front of me makes me gasp. I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to keep them from hearing my heart leave my chest.
Looking out into the living room I see the back of Kurt’s head, sitting on the couch. With Ashley straddling his lap and working on leaving an impression on his neck. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly for a few seconds before looking over at the door and am grateful they were too distracted to lock it behind them. I look back and forth between them and the door. When I look back at them, Ashley is staring right at me. When I make eye contact with her, an evil smirk stretches across her face. She makes sure I am watching before she tilts her head back purring.
“Oh, Kurt. That feels sooo good.” She moans softly and I feel a tear slip down my cheek silently. I quickly wipe it away then jump up from my hiding place and make a dash for the door. I quickly open the door and run out without looking back.
Before I leave I hear Kurt ask, “What was that?” But I don’t stick around to hear Ashley’s answer.
Running down the hallway, I have no patience for the elevator and I burst into the stairwell. I run down the stairs and on the last flight, I trip and stumble down ten steps. When I reach the bottom, I land on my hip and cry out, the pain sharp. I sit on the floor for a few seconds and let the pain of the fall and the pain of seeing Kurt with Ashley take over my body and the sobs I emit, shake my body.
I sit in pain, letting my tears subside and letting my breathing return to normal. Once I’ve calmed down, I exit the stairwell, limping slightly. I make my way to the restrooms in the lobby and I quickly splash water on my face. Gazing at myself in the mirror I notice my sad eyes. I take a paper towel and dab at the moisture beneath them then I bat my eyelashes, blinking to clear away the tears appearing in my eyes again.
“It’s okay,” I tell myself. “You are fine. Maybe a little bruised, physically and mentally but you are completely fine.” I stop talking quickly when I hear a toilet flush. I smile politely at Evelyn, who exits the stall. She smiles back at me and makes no mention of having heard me talking to myself.
“Are you okay, dear?” Evelyn asks, handing me a tissue from her purse to wipe my tears. I accept the tissue, grateful for something softer than the paper towels.
“I’m okay,” I try to say without my voice wavering. “Thank you, Evelyn.”
“Okay, dear. You have a good night.” Evelyn squeezes my arm.
“You too.”
As she goes to leave, she turns back to me and says, “I am so glad you and Kurt are together. I’ve never seen him so happy.” I smile politely but am shocked. She exits the bathroom leaving me to process what she said. I don’t recall seeing him extremely happy. We did laugh a few times but I don’t know. She probably just heard what I was saying and felt bad for me so she said something sweet. I try to brush it off, not wanting to overanalyze it.
I dab my face dry before I leave the bathroom. I quickly leave the building and make my way to the nearest coffee shop. Thankfully, the coffee shop is open late so I pull open the doors, breathing in the coffee aroma that now reminds me of Kurt. Once inside, I order a drink I know I have no appetite to drink and then I pull out my phone.
“Tatyana?” I say, grateful that she is still awake to answer my call.
“Hey, that was pretty quick. How did it go?” She asks quickly, wanting to know all the details then she goes quiet, waiting for me to respond.
I barely get a word out before I burst into tears. I speak to her with broken sentences, “It…it di-didn’t go-o well…” I get out, barely audible, my voice catching at the end. I tilt my head down, pulling my hair to cover my face like a curtain. I feel ashamed for crying in public, for crying at all really.
“Oh sweetie,” she says, her voice calm and steady. It helps me calm down.
“I wa-wa-waited for hi-him. You know? A-and and he came in with Ashley!” I hold out until the end of the sentence then I burst into tears, again. I sob, trying to keep my cries quiet but I notice people giving me looks. Some are sympathetic, others are glances of annoyance. I take a napkin and dab at my eyes, I need to stop crying over him. I sniffle a bit and try to calm down enough to listen to Tatyana.
I hear her gasp and she says one word, “Dick.” I nod but instantly feel bad. He really isn’t a dick. I messed up his and Ashley’s relationship. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t come around and opened my big mouth, they would probably still be together. What happened tonight was probably a normal occurrence. I sigh into the phone. “Okay, Juli, come home. I’ll wait up for you.” I nod eagerly, forgetting that she can’t see me.
“Thank you,” I whisper, barely able to speak. My tears have turned into hiccups but I’m starting to feel better. Tatyana tells me that she isn’t at the apartment but the key is still hidden where it always is. I thank her and apologize for being so weepy. She promises everything will be okay and tells me we are going to fix things when she gets home. I accept her proposition then we say our goodbyes and hang up.
I look around the coffee shop and everyone has gone back to their conversations and meals, officially blocking me out of their lives. I stand up and throw away my completely full cup of coffee before making my way to the front door. I exit the shop and let the cool breeze of the early morning air, brush away my tears.