Chapter 6 #2
Cutler’s eyes widened. “Eating pussy should be every man’s pleasure. I plan to do it until I take my last breath. There’s nothing better than getting a woman off with your tongue.”
Did it just get hot in here?
“Well, it’s clearly not for everyone because none of my boyfriends had any interest in it. Or maybe I have an unexciting vagina.” I blew out a breath.
“I promise you, you don’t have an unexciting vagina.” Loud laughter bellowed from him.
“Well, then, maybe it’s not for everyone. Maybe it’s just a you thing.”
Why do I sound so defensive now?
“Gracie.” His voice was deep and gruff.
“What?”
“It’s not a me thing. It’s a feel-good thing. And you should feel fucking good when you’re having sex. It’s not supposed to be a race. It’s not supposed to be hurried. A man should never chase his own pleasure before he pleasures his lady.”
It was a very Cutler thing to say. Of course he would please any woman he was with. It was his nature.
Anytime over the years that I’d ever said I was hungry, Cutler would appear with a sandwich, or a bag of chips.
If I said that I was cold, he’d come out of nowhere with a jacket.
He was that guy.
So naturally, with my sex life being in the shitter, I’d come to the right place.
“I’m thinking I approach my next relationship differently,” I said, tracing my finger over the rim of my wine glass as I thought over my next words. “Maybe I have a fling. Something casual. I’ve been looking for Mr. Right, and where has that gotten me?”
“Broke in Paris with bad sex,” he said, with a mischievous grin on his face.
I tossed my napkin at him and shrugged. “You aren’t wrong. So tell me how to attract a man who will be—you know, different from the men I’ve been dating. No more looking for Mr. Right. I’m going to just look for Mr. Right Now.”
“Jeege, you can attract any man you want. It has nothing to do with you. It’s about you not choosing these boring dickheads.”
“Of course you’re going to say it’s not me.
” I looked at him. “Okay, focus. So let’s say I go on a date.
Instead of trying to find out their life story, or to find out what makes them tick, I need to loosen up a bit.
Maybe I say something dirty?” I chewed on my bottom lip, and I could feel my cheeks heat.
“You know, to put that vibe out there that I’m looking for some—passion. ”
He reared back with a laugh, and I glared at him. “This is not a joke, Bear. You aren’t allowed to laugh. This is serious. I don’t want to die without experiencing good sex.”
He covered his mouth as his gaze softened.
“I’m not laughing at you, Jeege. You’re just fucking funny sometimes.
And you know I’ve got you. But you’re twenty-eight years old—your life is far from over.
It’s just starting. And now you know what you’re looking for next.
So you need to get comfortable in your own skin. Comfortable with your sexuality.”
“I think I’m fairly comfortable with my sexuality.”
“Yet, you’ve never asked a man to go down on you. Never demanded they do what it takes to get you off.” He raised a brow. “I don’t think you are.”
“Fine. How do I get there?”
“That’s what she said,” he said, cackling.
I pushed to my feet because none of this was funny to me.
The wine was kicking in, and I was frustrated.
I wanted a simple answer, and I wasn’t getting it.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him before I settled on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“Don’t leave. I’m sorry. No more teasing. ”
“Thank you. This is serious. I want to use this time to change the things that aren’t serving me. And bad sex is no longer serving me.”
“Okay, so let’s get down and dirty,” he said against my ear, and I tried to wiggle off his lap, but he held me there. “Don’t get nervous. It’s me. You can tell me anything.”
I turned the slightest bit to face him. “What do you want to know?”
He thought it over and then tilted his head to the side. “What do you like? What makes you feel good?”
“I don’t know—that’s the problem.”
“Yes, you do.” His gaze locked with mine. “When you touch yourself, what do you think about?”
My mouth fell open, and I was certain I was three shades of red. He touched me beneath my chin, pushing my mouth closed.
“How do you know if I even—you know? Do that.”
“Get yourself off?” he asked. “I assume you must because no one else is doing it for you.”
I blew out a breath and looked out at the water as I thought about it.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, I do it all the time,” he said.
My head whipped in his direction. “You do? Even with all the sex you have.”
“I’m not a fucking sex addict, Jeege. For the record, I have a normal amount of sex. And I love feeling good. Hell, I made myself feel good in the shower, right before dinner.”
“You did not!” I gaped at him.
“I sure did. Why do you think I’m so relaxed? Meanwhile, you’re wound tight. There’s one way to take care of that, and it doesn’t require a partner.”
Thoughts of Cutler in the shower, naked, head tipped back with water running down his golden skin as he wraps his hand around his—
Oh. My. Gosh.
I reached across the table for my wine glass, tipped my head back, and finished it off.
He was right.
This conversation required more booze.