Chapter 27 I’ve Grown Soft
I’ve Grown Soft
ELI
Marvin drives us down the street to the apartments, which should take all but two seconds. He keeps looking at us through the rearview mirror and smirking like he knows all our secrets.
Every time I inch my hand over to grab hers, he looks at us, like a parent driving their kid to prom.
Ridiculous.
And yet I jerk my hand back every time.
I glare at him.
He just shrugs and keeps driving.
I know she’s tired, at least she seems really tired, maybe it’s my fault, I’m asking too much of her body, but I feel like I’m wild, like I’ve been set free.
Don’t bite. Do not bite. I remind myself.
Marvin pulls up to the curb.
“You two have a great night!”
“You aren’t opening our door?” I ask.
He opens his own and gets out then opens mine, “Sorry sir, thought you were in a hurry.”
“Cheeky bastard.” I grumble under my breath.
He just keeps grinning.
“And miss Ava, I hope you have a great rest tonight, you really should turn in early.”
She yawns. I smack him on the arm.
He’s just asking to get fired.
"Clearly that therapy is doing wonders for your mood.” He nods at me.
“Wouldn’t you say Ava?”
She yawns again.
“Yes, his… er… um… temper has very much improved.”
“I’m sure it’s all due to therapy.” Marvin winks at me.
I’m murdering him later.
He shuts the door gently.
“Bye now!”
She walks past us, and I give him one more silent threat with my eyes while he blinks innocently at me as if to say what? What did I do?
I raise my fist.
“You coming?” Ava calls back.
“HAHA.” I pull Marvin in for a side hug.
“Yup, just thanking Marvin for all that he does, just thanking him so hard…” Marvin grunts as I hug him. I lean down and whisper, “Do that again and I’m driving you off a cliff, mm kay?”
I expect him to cower, instead, he turns to me.
“Keep her safe, mm kay?” And slaps me on the chest and walks away.
What the hell sort of parallel universe have I created?
At my own company?
He drives off.
And I chase after Ava.
Funny, I always told her to run.
Who’s running now?
“Wait up,” I call after Ava. I say hi to the doorman, then instinctively put my hand on the small of her back. One would think we were dating.
Dating.
The most terrifying word.
I think I prefer just saying we have an arrangement even though everything in me screams to claim her and make her know how important she is.
We get in the elevator.
It’s quiet.
She yawns again.
And while I want to get her naked, I realize that my haunting reality is that I’d rather see her in sweats, with a glass of wine, watching TV and that I’d still be satisfied.
What the hell?
I’ve gone soft.
I’ve grown feelings.
This can’t happen.
And then I wonder why not? Why can’t it happen? Because she might reject me? Because it’s not fair to trap her with me for the rest of her life? Because her career is at stake.
Then again, I own the company, people will talk, but I’m still the CEO. Would Xavier use it as leverage?
Would she feel used?
“Hey,” Ava taps me on the shoulder.
“Are we getting off?”
We already got off.
Bad joke.
Good thing I said it in my head.
We walk down the hall; she stops at her door and I keep walking, then stop the minute she starts typing in her code. I walk backward and grab her by the wrist and tug her toward me.
“I’m not in pain. I don’t need you…” I hesitate.
“I just want to be by you. Is that okay?”
She follows me willingly and then holds my hand.
“And here I thought I was only your whore.”
“Well, this pimp”—I smile—“only needed a few doses before he realized what an ass he was in treating this whore a certain way. Why don’t I…” I type in my code at my door.
“Cook for you?”
She gasps.
“You know how to use your kitchen?”
"I’m both offended and curious why you would think I don’t know how to cook or use a stove.”
She giggles into her hand.
“Let me just go back to my apartment and grab some clothes.”
"No.” I bark.
“I meant to say that in a gentler tone, just imagine you’re dealing with the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, though I have no talking clock, no candlesticks, and as depressing as it is—the wardrobe does not in fact dress you, but I can. I want to see you in my clothes. Comfy enough for you?”
She leans into me.
“Comfy? Did you use the word comfy? And make a Disney reference as a werewolf? Be honest, is it the apocalypse?”
Kinda feels like it. I kiss the top of her head.
“Maybe I just grew a heart.”
"Okay, Grinch.” She pats me on the chest.
“But you better impress me with your skills or I won’t put you in the lineup for future suitors.”
"What?” I trip walking into the penthouse.
“I’m not even in the lineup?”
She does a twirl toward me.
“Yet.”
"I should at least be last place. I demand a recount!”
"Oops, those are illegal, after all, you did just say I was a booty call during a full moon then go all full wolf on me without warning.” She drops her purse onto the counter, takes off her coat, then stumbles toward the couch.
“Just gonna lay here and breathe for a bit.”
I like her in my space.
“Breathe you say?”
“Yeah, you always smell so good, just like your apartment.”
“Pheromones.” I point out.
“You’re just drugged by them, it’s how we find our—“
She sits up.
“Your?”
I swallow and look away.
“Our mate.”
"And once you find your mate, you and I will be…” She looks away.
“Right…it won’t matter.”
I open my mouth to say something, to break the tense mood, instead I go into the bedroom and call over my shoulder.
“I’ll grab you some clothes.”
I snatch a pair of grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, but by the time I’m back in the living room she’s sound asleep on the couch.
I do my best to change her clothes without her waking up and then I stare at her like the freak I am.
I touch her cheeks.
I caress her skin.
I wish for more.
And realize how petrified I am to ask for it.
This isn’t a marriage proposal, this isn’t dating, this is an eternity and I don’t think someone like her, someone so great—should be trapped with someone like me.