Chapter 28 For When I See You Again
For When I See You Again
AVA
I wake up to the smell of bacon.
I sniff the air and then look down at my clothes. He must have made me comfy while I slept.
See, this is the problem.
He’s not just my boss, or a werewolf of lore, but he’s also cruel at times then, so sweet I want to cry.
My emotions are all over the place, and my dreams, well those are just a different scenario all together.
I’m running through the forest still.
Friends follow me. At least I think they’re my friends, and a boy stands next to me, we’re both maybe eleven.
In the dream, he’s crying.
“They don’t want me.”
“I’ll always want you,” I whisper.
“No. You’re leaving too.”
“We’re all leaving.”
He frowns at me, tears staining his cheeks.
“Where will we go?”
"Some families.” I squeeze his hand.
“Some will take us in, we don’t have an Alpha anymore, we can’t stay here.”
"Why doesn’t someone step up?” he asks.
“Why not?”
The girl, I guess me, answers, “You’re born an Alpha, not made, and there are rumors, really weird rumors about the next Alpha being different. They’re scared, so we should be scared too, right? We should just listen and go.”
"I don’t want to.” He shakes his head.
“I want to stay with my best friend.”
“You called me your best friend.”
Tears stream down his cheeks.
“I won’t forget you. I promise. Blood oath?”
I laugh.
“Blood oath? Isn’t that forbidden?”
He turns to me.
“So when I see you again, I’ll be all yours. And you’ll know you’re mine. So when I hold your hand, I’ll remember the forest, and the rain, and remember my family even though they’re gone. Blood oath?”
I can’t say no.
I hold out my palm.
He grabs his dagger and digs into the very center, like the eye of the storm, then does the same to his own.
We press our palms together.
He smiles.
“For when I see you again.”
"For when I see you again.” I repeat.
Our blood mixes as we hold hands.
And that’s it.
The boy I left behind.
The boy that went to a different life.
Is he the one I’m waiting for?
And if so, why do I feel so possessive of Eli? Of his future mate? I kind of want to strangle her and smile while doing it, which is dark, so very dark.
I slowly get up and toss the blanket aside.
“You really are cooking?”
Eli doesn’t look up.
“And you really were snoring.”
I gasp, horrified.
“I was?”
“No, I just wanted to see your face.” He smiles down at the bacon he’s cooking. I have never seen a man or, uh, person more attractive in my entire life. Ever. It’s not even fair.
The bacon sizzles while my heart thumps against my chest.
It’s just us.
"You slept an hour, feel better?” He leaves the bacon and moves to another pan, dumping in butter and garlic, stirring it around, then searing two huge steaks.
"Wow.” I don’t mean to say it out loud.
“I like your meat.”
He hesitates over the pan, and looks up with the most seductive eyes ever, they blaze this blue that looks like the sky and ocean combined.
“Did you just say I like your meat?”
“I meant the steak.”
“Sure you did.”
“I’m still waking up.”
"Sure you are.”
"Can you stop?”
He leans over; I see fangs in his mouth.
“Sweetheart, I haven’t even started.”
I gasp and pull away.
“Funny.”
“I wasn’t joking.” He snaps.
“Open. I can hear your stomach from here.”
“What?”
He says it slower.
“Open.”
"What?”
“Your pretty little mouth.” He grins.
“Open.”
I part my lips, he grabs a piece of bacon and slowly presses it past my lips. It’s maple. So good I could cry.
I chew and open my mouth again.
"Greedy, are you?” he asks. His hair is tousled, his shirt unbuttoned, he looks so handsome I could die.
"Always,” I finally say after a few seconds.
"Mm.” He feeds me again and again, then fixes the steaks as well as the salad, and we sit.
It seems so normal.
I don’t want to ask him, but I know I keep staring at him while we eat at the bar. He pours me a glass of wine.
“You look like you have questions.”
“Do you have answers?” I ask.
He puts the bottle down.
“I don’t know, maybe? I just need to know what you need to ask so I can think of how to answer.”
"Do you have parents?”
"I did, at a time, right now, I have Gabe, my adoptive family who are incredible, that’s what I have.” He smiles at me widely.
“And I have you.”
I hold back tears.
“Do you, um, remember running through a forest when you were around eleven?”
He drops his fork onto the plate.
“What?”
“A forest, when you were eleven.”
He squeezes his eyes shut and exhales.
“And you wonder why I need anger therapy management. Yes. I was in a forest during that time, yes.”
"Do you…” I keep pushing.
“…remember a girl?”
He frowns.
“Of course I do, she was my best friend… at one point I thought she was my mate and….” He frowns and drops his fork.
“How would you even know that? Because it’s not funny.”
“No.” I hold up my hands.
“I’m not trying to be funny, just trying to figure out my dreams.”
He cocks his head.
“Your dreams?”
"Yeah.” I let out a large exhale.
“I keep seeing these two kids, the girl’s me I think, and the boy, well I don’t know who he is, but if you remember it, maybe you will remember him?”
"I chose not to,” he says after a few seconds.
“I chose not to remember the losses we had, or why they happened, I dug into finance and marketing and never looked back. Plus, I was a hybrid, I wasn’t welcome, even with my own brother.”
I touch his arm.
“I’m sorry.”
"No. It’s fine. You don't have to be sorry for my rejection. I wasn’t normal. I was an anomaly. Remember when I told you about how it’s looked down upon to be with a human and werewolf? Nobody says anything, but it’s not celebrated.”
"It should be.” I snap.
He tilts his head toward me.
“Why are you so fierce and cute at the same time?”
“Don’t call me cute.” I laugh, ready to throw bacon at him. He ignores my pout and continues putting the food on the plates.
It tastes amazing.
He truly is good at everything.
I moan and take another bite of the steak.
He doesn’t look up.
“Enjoying my meat, are you?”
“Low blow.”
"So low.” He cackles and then sets his fork down and drinks a glass of wine.
I watch him swallow. I watch everything about him. And then I ask, “Are humans bad to your kind?”
He frowns.
“No? Why?”
"Bite me.”
He starts choking.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Bite me.” I repeat.
“I want you to mate me.”
His wine glass falls from his fingertips and crashes against the floor. His eyes light up like fireworks.
“No.”
“Bite me.”
"Stop saying bite!” He jumps to his feet and starts cleaning up.
“I’m not mating you.”
“Because I’m not good enough?”
“Because!” he roars, slamming his fists against the counter.
“You’re too good! I would never damn you that way, to be with me for an eternity, just the other day you were making plans with Xavier, I’m not going to curse you to only see my face for eternity and why are you laughing right now?”
"An eternity, right?”
"Stop walking toward me.” He warns, holding up both hands like he’s terrified.
“I’m serious Ava, do not do this, you don’t want this, it’s the wine, it’s the mood, the sex, fuck, I don’t know, but I do know I’m trying to protect you.”
I can’t stop myself.
This is right.
I feel it everywhere.
I finally.
Relax.
I breathe.
I don’t need my past.
But I do need him in my future.
He’s still as a statue as I wrap my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his waist.
“Bite. Me.”
His lips tremble.
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
I cup his cheeks as his incisors descend.
“Weird, because I thought I was asking for forever with a grumpy werewolf.”
He looks down.
“You won't have a choice if I bite you.”
“Good, then let me choose now.”
His hands tremble as he gently puts me on the breakfast bar.
“You don’t need to choose, you have time, and this isn’t even—“
“—do you want me?” I ask.
“Simple answer yes or no. Do you want me?”
His eyes well with tears.
“I’ve searched for years for my mate, of course I want you, but if it’s not you, the pain will be excruciating. And what we have will be gone. Separated.”
"I’m willing”—I take a deep breath—“I’m willing to bet on you, are you willing to bet on me? The girl who took your virginity.”
“Just had to bring that up.”
"I mean, it’s funny?”
“That I was a near thirty-year-old virgin, thanks, maybe I was just waiting for you?”
I laugh and stare him down.
“I’m serious.”
"I’m serious too. Please, get off of me, don’t make this harder than it already is, to reject you, to leave you, to walk away and not look back.”
"Maybe I want all those things, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, all I know is I need your bite and I need it now and I need you to make that move.”
He hesitates. His jaw clenches. He shakes his head.
“You don’t know what you’re asking, this is forever.”
“Good.” I nod, tears in my eyes.
“Good.”
"Forever is…” He turns off the stove and walks over to me, bracing me against the counter. He grips me by the hips and pulls me onto the counter and rests his head against my chest, like he’s hearing my heart, and then he rests his forehead against mine.
“You barely know me.”
"Not true.” A tear slides down my cheek.
“I think I knew you before. I think I was waiting. I think…” I don’t know why I’m so emotional, but I say it anyway, “For when…I see you again.”
His eyes light up.
He freezes completely.
His body is rigid.
And in an instant, he lifts me up into his arms.
“Who told you that phrase?”
"You know it?” I ask.
"It’s…” His eyes search mine.
“Are you, are you her?”
"Are you him?” I challenge.
“Only one way to find out.”
"But.” He hesitates, so I take the lead, I grab him by the neck and pull him down to my mouth.
“Bite. Me.”
"I can’t, I can’t, I—“
I grab him by the back of the neck and pull him down.
“You can. Just feel me, feel it.”
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.
“Why aren’t you afraid?”
"Because,” I answer simply.
“I think you’re mine.”
"And if I’m not?”
“Then it’s on me.” I exhale.
“It’s all on me.”