Chapter 11 #4
A week later I was back in New York on business matters.
The week after the conversation with Devon had been quite depressing.
During those days I had decided to go out and have fun like I hadn't in a long time, but to my disappointment, I hadn't achieved my goal and with each passing day I felt emptier, a void that seemed impossible to fill.
I had been with many women because I needed to vent, but with none of them had I been able to appease that emptiness growing inside me, nor the desire consuming my insides every time I thought of her, of Devon Dulcet.
I was used to sharing my body with a woman without sharing anything more than pleasure, but in the recent encounters I hadn't even connected with my casual bed companion.
I don't know if it was right or not, but I had focused on women who resembled her, who had something of the doctor who had been stealing my sleep for some time, perhaps if I found what I had felt with Devon I could make her disappear from my head.
But when I had the women in front of me, I began to look for her eyes, her mouth, her scent, her smile, her.
.. I was looking for her. Unfortunately for me, no one could compare to her.
The longing was too great. With Devon it had been different from any previous experience, it had been intimate and personal, I hadn't just shared my body, I think I had also shared my soul. I was in trouble.
Aurora kept asking for Devon, but I had spoken with Alba so they wouldn't see each other anymore. I had given her any excuse and she hadn't questioned it. My daughter's sadness made me feel selfish, but it was necessary for us to distance ourselves from that woman.
I had placed all my hopes on the trip to New York because I was convinced it would help improve my mood.
This time I had traveled with Xavier, which assured me of nighttime outings most of the days we would be there.
The issue was that we had already been there for three days and I was still in the same condition.
“William, can I ask you a question?” Xavier inquired, while we were having a drink at a bar in Manhattan.
“Depends,” I replied, suspecting where the conversation was heading.
“What happened with the doctor? Because I thought you wanted to keep seeing her, well, that’s what you told me anyway.”
I sighed wearily. Just as I suspected. It was clear that even thousands of miles away, I couldn’t stop thinking or talking about that woman who apparently thought I was just a man she should stay away from because, it seemed, I was garbage.
“I wanted to, as you correctly said, but I don’t want to anymore,” I stated.
“Why not?”
“Because she thinks I’m someone who can’t be trusted, she wants nothing to do with me.”
“I see. And you’re going to let her keep thinking that?” he asked.
“And what do you want me to do? She doesn’t even know me and she judged me decisively. She put me in the defendant’s chair and is convinced she doesn’t need any more evidence to condemn me,” I stated.
“If we’re talking about condemnation, I remind you that you’re a lawyer, you bastard,” he stated, challenging me with his gaze.
“In this case, I surrender,” I said, taking a long sip of my drink.
“Then I should believe that you’re not interested either,” he pointed out.
“That might be it,” I said, knowing I wasn’t being honest, but I didn’t feel like talking about her anymore.
“In that case, I feel obligated to ask if you’ll give me the green light to date her.”
My stomach contracted. Imagining them together filled me with irrational anger. I put down my glass and looked at him seriously.
“Xavier, I slept with Devon, don’t you think that would be awkward?” I reasoned, very seriously, but at that moment I wasn’t being honest either because that wasn’t the real reason.
“It might be awkward at first, but then everything will be forgotten. We’re adults and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept with a woman you’ve slept with, or vice versa.”
Sleep with Devon? That was something I wouldn’t allow, under any circumstances.
“I’m not giving you the green light,” I stated, without consideration.
“I don’t see why not. If you don’t want anything to do with her and she doesn’t want anything to do with you, what’s the problem with me trying?
” he said, taking a sip of his drink, then looking at me seriously he added, “Let’s agree that I don’t need your approval, I simply did it to let you know my intentions, but. ..”
“Don’t get involved in this, I’m serious,” I threatened. “You have several women willing to go out with you, why does it have to be Devon?”
“Because I like her too much,” he replied, and what I didn’t like was that he did it without a hint of humor.
Just what I needed!
“Xavier, don’t do it.”
“And what would happen if I did?” he asked, maintaining his seriousness.
“You’ll know me as an enemy, and I’m serious.”
“Does Devon matter that much to you that you’d ruin our friendship?”
“I already told you, Devon only matters to me for fucking her, and the one who would be ruining our friendship would be you if you disregard what I said,” I stated, knowing that she didn’t just inspire desire in me, there was also something else that I wasn’t clear about what it was nor was I willing to find out.
“I see,” he said, irritated, and took a long drink from his glass. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to talk to a girl at the bar who hasn’t stopped looking at me. You should do the same with that brunette on your right who can’t take her eyes off you.”
“I think I’ll head back to the hotel tonight because we have a very early meeting tomorrow and I’m tired,” I said, but in reality what I didn’t have was the mood to hook up with anyone, especially after the conversation I’d had with Xavier.
At that moment, laughing and having fun seemed like a luxury I couldn’t afford.
“As you wish. See you tomorrow, then,” he expressed.
“Have fun,” I said, as I stood up to leave the place.
The bar was about six blocks from the hotel where we were staying, so I decided to walk. It was late November and the temperature was very low, but I didn’t care. To combat the cold, I began walking at a quick pace. As I did so, I recalled my conversation with Xavier.
Why did I care so much about him approaching Devon? What was happening to me with that woman?
I needed to analyze what I was feeling, what she provoked in me. It was time to be honest with myself, but the thought of analyzing it terrified me.
Perhaps tonight is not the best time, I told myself.
Perhaps I wasn’t ready to put a name to the uneasiness growing inside me.
Walking and reflecting, I reached the hotel entrance.
As I was going up in the elevator to the floor where my room was located, I heard my phone’s ringtone.
When I took it out of my coat pocket and saw it was Alba, my heart stopped.
I immediately checked the time—in New York it was just past two in the morning, which meant it was past midnight in Montevideo.
If Alba was calling at that hour, it was for something important.
My daughter came to mind and I got off the elevator feeling great anxiety.
“Alba, what’s wrong? Did something happen to Aurora?”
“Aurora is fine,” she said, and my soul returned to my body. “I’m sorry to bother you at this hour, but I need to talk to you about something urgent.”
“What’s going on?”
“A few minutes ago, I got a call from a friend of Mateo, my youngest son, telling me that he’s in the hospital because he had an accident,” she said, and burst into tears.
“I’m sorry. Do you know how he’s doing?” I asked, concerned.
“He told me it’s not serious, but they need to perform surgery on his leg because he suffered a compound fracture. I wanted to ask your permission to travel to Canada and be with him. He’s alone there because we don’t have any family and... I need to see him,” she pleaded.
“I’m glad it’s nothing too serious. I understand and I’ll do everything possible so you can travel, but let me think about how to solve this because...”
“Sir, excuse me for interrupting, but I thought we could talk to Devon; sorry, Dr. Dulcet. I’m sure Aurora would be in the best hands and would be happy to stay with her.”
While Alba was suggesting the solution, I was thinking about Devon and what I had told her about her relationship with Aurora, and I seriously doubted she would accept. Besides, she had a complicated schedule and I didn’t think it would be possible for her to take care of Aurora.
“Alba, I don’t doubt that would be the case, but the doctor has long workdays and I don’t think she can take care of Aurora.”
“Would you allow me to talk to her? I know you told me that you didn’t want...”
“Forget what I said because I know this situation is special, but I still don’t think she can do it.”
“Could you at least try?” she asked, sobbing.
For a few seconds I remained silent, thinking of a different solution. I could put myself in Alba’s place and imagined she was desperate to be by her son’s side. On the other hand, I didn’t have anyone I trusted enough to leave my daughter in their care, except...
“Let me talk to her, it will be better that way,” I suggested, because it seemed like this was an issue that, after what I had told her, I needed to bring up myself.
“You?” she questioned, and that irritated me a bit, because that distrust was due to her assuming that if I talked to Devon, there would be little chance she would do it, and the worst part was that she might be right.
“It’s my daughter she would be taking care of.”
“Alright, sir. Whatever you say.”
“I’ll talk to her and call you back. Don’t worry about the plane tickets because I’ll take care of them.”
“No, sir, you don’t have to do that.”
“Alba, don’t argue with me on this, I’ll handle the tickets. First, let me solve the issue of who will take care of my daughter until I get back. We’ll stay in touch.”
“Thank you, Mr. Cavaller.”
“Nothing to thank me for.”
While I was talking to Alba, I had reached my room and at that moment I was pacing around trying to gather the courage to call her.
The reality was that I didn’t have anyone else I could trust with Aurora’s care, and besides, my daughter adored her.
There was a lady who took care of Aurora when Alba took days off, but I knew she couldn’t stay overnight.
I sighed, knowing I had no other option.