Chapter 11
Light streamed into the room. My eyes strained to open. Everything was hazy. Wait. What happened? There was blood everywhere. My little baby was in my arms. Oh Lord. This wasn’t a nightmare. This was real. This happened.
My eyes moved to the light, to the open door. Quinnlyn stood there. Eyes wide, mouth open. I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?” Quinnlyn screamed.
My eyes shot open again. The guard stood next to him now, pure terror painted on his face. My eyes closed again.
A sharp crack pulled my eyes open. Then another crunch.
Quinnlyn was on top of the guard. His fists came down over and over, blood hitting the walls.
Darkness pulled me back under. I could hear bones cracking, and I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn’t.
My whole body broke into goosebumps and then trembled.
“Get the fuck out of here!” Quinnlyn shouted.
My right eye and nose throbbed, reminding me why I couldn’t fully open my right eye.
I opened my left eye to see Quinnlyn standing in the doorway.
Blood was splattered all over his face and hands.
He stared at me. His eyes moved rapidly around the room before he locked onto what was in my arms. My tiny little baby boy laid there.
He was hard and ice cold, but I wasn’t ready to let go yet.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the mattress.
I wanted to stand, but my legs wouldn’t move.
More people entered the room. I couldn't make out how many of them there were, but several figures were standing behind Quinnlyn. My eyes felt so heavy. Everything was so cold. Quinnlyn turned around, and my eyes fell closed again.
“No,” Quinnlyn shouted, jerking me back out of the daze.
“You will… do as…” Ravik said. Wait. What did that mean?
“If you… you… dirty… work…” Quinnlyn said.
“Get rid of her, now!” Ravik yelled. I forced my eyes open.
Ravik was ordering him to get rid of me.
To kill me. My baby and I would die a day apart.
Images of Aspen as a newborn floated through my vision.
Footsteps pounded out of the room. I could make out the fuzzy shape of the door.
They left it open. I needed to live for her.
I could run. I could get out of here. Quinnlyn stood in the doorway, staring at me.
I’d never outrun him. He was going to kill me.
He turned around and walked out of the room. He left me there. He was going to come back and finish it. I had nothing left for sobs. Only tears. The mattress was completely covered in blood. I could feel it weeping out from between my legs. The placenta was still next to me, still attached to him.
My heart was beating faster and faster by the second, and my breathing turned shallow and rapid. He didn’t have to kill me—I was sure I was dying anyway. Something was wrong. Everything felt so heavy. So cold.
Feet pounded into the room. I opened my eyes.
I wanted him to look me in the eyes when he did it.
He was standing there with Benji and Calliope next to him.
Their eyes were wide, Benji's cheeks were wet. This was it for me. I clutched the little guy tighter, bringing him closer to my cheek. Aspen would be okay without me. I had to believe that. I’d join my little boy.
Quinnlyn walked into the room slowly, staring at me. I gazed into his eyes—bloodshot, blood caked in his hair and stubble.
“We gotta do this quickly… Your truck is at the side entrance,” Benji said.
“I’ll walk ahead of you and whistle two times if the coast is clear,” Calliope said.
“What’s… happe… nnning,” I gasped out. My eyes started to close again.
“Get… road atlas … I-75… auntie,” Calliope said.
I struggled to focus on what they were saying. What was happening? My eyes opened as Quinnlyn knelt beside me.
“Give me the wooden box for the baby,” Quinnlyn said as he turned toward Benji. He reached for the baby.
“NO!” I shouted.
“Shhh… Shhh… The baby is coming with us, but I’m gonna grab him and keep him safe in this little box, okay?” he said with a lowered voice.
I nodded, barely. He reached between my arms and lifted him. More tears rolled out of my eyes. His absence was immediate and total. He wasn’t with me anymore. Quinnlyn’s arms wrapped around my body, and he stood up.
“Oh Lord, there’s so much blood,” Calliope muttered.
“Let’s go!” Quinnlyn said.
Footsteps pounded the floor. My eyes closed. Everything went dark again.
Whistle. Whistle.
We were moving through the hall.
Whistle.
I looked up at Quinnlyn before my eyes shut again. Another set of whistles. A door opened, and bright light hit my face.
I felt warmth beneath me as I was placed onto something. My eyes opened enough to see we were in a truck. Quinnlyn’s truck. Quinnlyn folded my legs in. The truck door closed gently before the other door swung open and closed. It went dark again.
Gravel spitting underneath us. We hit bumps, climbed, and dipped. Then the road felt smooth, and the truck picked up speed. My head rested next to his thigh. I forced my eyes open enough to see his hands wrapped around the steering wheel. I fell back to sleep.
We stopped moving, and I opened my eyes, looking around.
He wasn’t next to me anymore. My eyes were still heavy, my right eye still throbbing.
Blood seeped out of me. When would it stop?
I tried to push myself up, but I couldn’t.
My eyes fell to the floorboard, where there was a tiny wooden box.
A voice outside caught my attention. I closed my eyes tighter and focused on what was happening.
“She needs help… So much blood… Yes, tonight... Be there late... She might need… blood… doctor…” Quinnlyn said to someone that I couldn’t see or hear.
The familiar sound. A payphone being slammed back down, the change dropping into the metal box below it. The truck door opened, and I lifted my head a little and looked at Quinnlyn as he got into the truck.
“I’m getting you help,” he said.
And then nothing.
Aspen was such a beautiful baby. She had jet-black hair and the most precious blue eyes. She had the perfect chubby cheeks that created little dimples when she smiled. She was such a happy little girl. She was there, smiling at me.
“It’s okay, sissy. You’re gonna be okay.”
My eyes burst open, and I gasped for air.
A hand landed gently on my shoulder. I looked up, and Quinnlyn looked down at me. The sun was almost gone in the sky. I’d been sleeping for a while.
“Breathe, Zalayuh,” he said.
“Where are we?” I managed to get out.
“Louisiana,” he said.
The only place I’d been outside of Tennessee was North Carolina, because Townsend wasn't far from the state line. There was never money for trips. My stomach grumbled.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
I nodded slightly. I was, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to eat anything.
He reached forward, grabbed a pack of soup crackers, ripped one open, and handed it to me. I brought it to my mouth and nibbled on it slightly, but everything in my face ached. The cracker fell from my hand and onto the floor. Sleep pulled me in again.
His little face and skin were nearly translucent, flushed deep red, so fragile it barely looked real.
He was covered in fine, fuzzy, dark hair all over his body.
He already had hair growing on top of his head.
Four minutes. He was with me for two hundred and forty seconds.
He was back in my arms again. His little squeaks.
His little gasp for air. Blood all over.
The car door opened. I opened my eyes, looking around. Only the bright moon filled the sky. My eyes moved to the female who stood at the open truck door, staring at me with wide eyes. She looked like Calliope but without the freckles. Her hair was in a satin bonnet.
“Quinnlyn Mikel!” she blurted out, turning to face him.
“I know Titi!” he said.
“You bring… dying white girl… us midwives already… not all… licensed.”
“Fix her… then we’ll… gone,” he said.
“I’ma hafta call… doctor friend,” she grumbled, “bring her...”
Quinnlyn’s arms wrapped around me again before he lifted me up and out of his truck. My eyes focused on all the blood covering his seat.
“So…sorr…sorry,” I stuttered out. His arms tightened around me. Everything faded.