32. I’m Going To Watch
I’m Going To Watch
Cara
Walking away from Doug after all that was so hard. It was lovely to hear stories from Lynnie, who clearly loved my mum so much, and the photos were amazing, but it was an emotional rollercoaster.
I’ve been here. Granted, I wasn’t earthside. I was in my mum’s tummy and just barely, but I was here. I was right next to Doug before either of us knew the other existed and right next to Bree and Zoe. I was here, in this town, in this house.
I suddenly feel drained as I lock the door after saying goodnight to Bree. I want to just have a bath and curl up in bed. I just wish I had a not-so-grumpy contractor to curl up next to.
I head upstairs and turn on the taps, undress, and pull on my robe before putting on some music, swirling some relaxing oil into the warm water, and dimming the bathroom lights a little. I smile as I do that. When Doug suggested dimmable lighting in the bathroom, I didn’t see the point, but now I get it, and I love it.
My head is spinning. A week ago, just one week, the man infuriated me. I was extremely attracted to him, yes, but bloody hell, he pissed me off, and now, I miss him. I miss touching him, kissing him. I miss the smell of him and the feel of his skin. How quickly you can become attached to someone—but he makes me feel safe. He makes me feel like I can let go because he’s already assessed the risks and is ready to protect me from them.
I’m about to get in the bath when I notice lights through the still curtain-less bedroom window and head over. My stomach jumps with happiness and excitement as I see the now-familiar truck park up, and I practically run downstairs to open the door.
‘Mama knows about us,’ he says, offering a small smile as he leans in to kiss me and back me into the hallway. ‘Man, I missed kissing you.’ He kicks the door closed behind him and pushes me up against the wall, bringing his mouth to mine again until I register what he just said and push lightly on his chest.
‘Wait, what?’ He steps back and looks me up and down hungrily. ‘Don’t look at me like that until you explain what you just said.’
‘Baby, I can’t look at you any other way.’ He smirks, and I can’t hide my reaction to him. My lips part, and I feel the flush of heat that blooms across my skin. ‘You’re naked.’
‘I’m wearing a robe.’
He reaches out and pulls the tie so that the robe falls open, exposing me to him.
‘You are naked, Cara.’ He practically growls as he steps forward, and my breath catches in my throat.
‘I was about to have a bath.’ My words are hardly more than breath at this point.
‘Room for a little one?’ Goosebumps pepper my skin as his large hands roam under the robe and grip my bare hips.
‘You are not little, Douglas Campbell.’ I push him away and head for the stairs, ‘Not in any sense.’
I giggle and shriek as he scoops me up and practically runs up the stairs.
‘Are you doing okay? That was a lot tonight.’
After making it to the bathroom, I managed to convince him to behave and get in with me. Now I’m leaning back against his lovely chest with his fingers entwined with mine against my stomach.
‘Yeah, it was,’ I take a breath, ‘unexpected.’ He stays quiet and waits for me to find the words I’m looking for. ‘I didn’t know Mum had kept in contact with anyone here. I had no idea. Knowing that someone here knew all about me, what I looked like even. I don’t know—it’s a strange feeling.’
‘I should have asked her to stop,’ he says before kissing the top of my head, and my eyes drift closed.
‘No. It really was lovely. When I say strange, I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s like I do have a place here, after all.’
‘You have a place here, Cara. You’re one of us.’
I chuckle. ‘You didn’t think that at first.’
He groans and wraps his arms around my waist tighter. ‘I’m sorry I was a dick.’
‘I forgive you.’ I smile and lean my head back, and he lifts our joined hands from the water.
‘Come on. We’re getting all wrinkled.’ I smile and lean forward.
Doug climbs out behind me, wrapping a towel around his waist and drying himself off with another before holding out a towel for me and wrapping me up as I step out. He presses a brief kiss to my lips, then pushes me toward the door and follows me into the bedroom.
‘You didn’t tell me what you meant downstairs about your mum.’
He groans. ‘I was worried when you left. I didn’t want you to be upset and alone up here. She knew something was off, and I decided I had to tell her.’ I widen my eyes, and he steps closer. ‘I told her I needed to come up here and check on you, and I asked her if she would mind listening out for Bo because I might not be home before morning.’ My lips part slightly, and he smiles, pulling my towel-clad body against his. ‘It was pretty difficult not to tell her after that.’
I want to know more, want to know exactly what he told her and what that means, but as his lips part mine and my tongue searches for his, I forget all about the questions in my mind and lose myself to my desire for this man.
‘Do you want me to leave?’ he asks, and I shake my head, no. ‘Do you just want to go to sleep?’
‘No.’
He kisses me again, then steps back, putting distance between us. I can’t ignore the way he looks, tanned and tattooed skin, a thin veil of dark hair across his chest and down his stomach that looks like it was hand laid by angels, it’s so perfect. My eyes drift lower to where his erection is trying its best to tent the towel wrapped around him, and I once again feel my nerves and my desire go to war with each other.
‘What are you thinking?’ His voice has dropped. That delicious low gravelly tone he gets during these moments seems to tickle my skin as my goosebumps stand to his attention. ‘Cara.’
The demanding way he says my name has me snapping my gaze up to meet his.
‘You make me nervous,’ I admit, and he narrows his gaze, demanding more without using a single word. ‘You read my body like it’s your favorite book. You know what I need before I do. I feel like there’s a shelf life for us because I’ll never be able to read you that way. I can’t even read me that way.’
He takes a step toward me, his hungry stare fixed on my eyes, which I’m sure are bigger than my brand-new dinner plates.
‘Cara, take off the towel.’
‘What?’ My chest rises and falls with the anticipation, the nerves, and the unparalleled desire flooding my veins.
‘I told you I was going to push you and help you step out of your box.’ He takes another step, and I gaze up at him as his hungry stare turns downright predatory. ‘Now, you heard me. Take it off.’
I tremble as the severity of his tone vibrates through me. It’s stern and hard but warm, and, my god, does it turn me on… so much so that I find myself doing as I’m told and drop the towel as he commanded.
‘Now lay down on the bed.’
I inhale sharply and do as I’m told. He stands over me, looking down at my naked form as he dips his head a little, narrowing his gaze like he just found my tell, my weak spot, and he’s going in for the kill.
‘You like me telling you what to do?’ I nod, yes, and he shakes his head slowly, then leans over me, bracing his hands on either side of me. ‘Do you want me to help you become more confident in your sexuality?’ I nod. ‘Then you’re going to have to trust me and let go. Do you trust me, baby?’ I nod again. ‘Use your words.’
I gasp as that tone returns that my body seems to like too much.
‘Yes.’
‘Good. Open your legs.’ My body responds of her own accord. She is fully on board, even if my brain is still catching up. ‘Wider. Let me see you, Cara. Spread your legs for me.’ Holy shit. I tremble as I do as I’m told, and he drops his towel and climbs onto the bed, settling on his knees between my mine. ‘There’s my good girl. Look how fuckin’ beautiful you are.’
I feel the rapid rise and fall of my chest and my stomach. I feel the heat of arousal between my legs. I see the way his eyes take in every inch of me, and I can’t ignore the rock-hard dick between my knees.
Oh God, Sensory overload… I’m trembling and squirming, my skin heating, pebbled with goosebumps. My body is reacting to this man and his words, his voice, his gorgeous, naughty smile, and those eyes.
I could come just from being so turned on, just from the anticipation. He smirks.
‘You want me to touch you?’ I nod. ‘Words.’
‘Yes. Please.’
Was that my voice? Did I just beg?
‘No, sweetheart.’ He shakes his head, no. ‘I’m not going to touch you. I’m going to watch, and you’re going to let me know what feels good.’
‘What?’ I gasp and try to close my legs, but his hands on them stop that.
‘Ah ah, don’t you dare close those pretty thighs of yours. I like seeing how wet you are for me.’ He pushes my legs open again, wide open. ‘Now, you’re going to touch yourself, and I’m going to watch.’
‘Doug…’ I can feel the tendrils of panic reaching out, trying to extinguish the flames of desire.
‘Trust me. Just show me what feels good, baby.’ I inhale and meet his gaze and see the exact moment he takes pity on me. ‘Do you need me to help?’
I nod, yes. ‘I don’t know how.’
He takes a deep breath and moves forward, his large body above mine as he leans down to kiss me.
‘Baby,’ he says softly against my lips before pulling back just a little. ‘Your body is yours. Nobody knows it better than you. You can’t get this wrong.’
‘I, um…’
‘Give me your hand.’ I lift my hand, releasing the sheet I hadn’t realized I was gripping, and let him take it. He guides my fingers to stroke across my low belly. ‘Start here,’ he lowers my hand, helping me trail my finger up my inner thigh, ‘or here.’ He releases my hand, leaving me to do this on my own. ‘Stroke your skin. Feel what turns you on and what you enjoy.’ He moves, sitting back once more on his heels and looking down at me. ‘Listen to your body. It’ll tell you what it wants.’
‘I’ve never…’
‘Shh. Close your eyes.’ I do. ‘Touch your body, baby. Let me see you.’
I breathe deeply, faster than usual, as my fingers move over a part of my body I’ve only ever touched to get clean. I notice the sensations as I tentatively stroke, and then my brain jumps on board, reminding me how it feels when he touches me. God, how amazing it feels.
I slip the tip of my index finger between my lips and gasp at the feel of the silky wetness.
‘That feels good?’ He notices, and I hear the arousal in his voice. ‘Fuck, you’re so beautiful.’
I run my fingers up, my body jolting as pleasure sparks through me, and I realize that’s it, that’s the, that’s… Jesus, Cara, you can’t even say it in your head? Do it. Say it.
I circle my fingers and marvel at the way my breath rushes from my mouth. God, that feels nice.
‘That’s it,’ he says as I start to lose my inhibitions, rubbing harder, circling a little faster. ‘Fuck, I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so good, baby.’
Oh, my god. I’m like a puppy performing for a treat. Every word from his mouth seems to push me on, and I realize I want him to be proud. I want to enjoy this, and I want him to enjoy watching me. More than that, his enjoyment is making this so much better for me than it ever could have been. I know that. I can feel it.
‘ Jesus , my dick’s so fucking hard watching you. You’re so sexy, baby.’
That’s it… that’s the match to the touchpaper. I’m in. I’m all his. I know what he wants. He wants me to rub my clit, make myself come, and I need to give him that. Not for him, for me. I need to know I have him. I have his attention. I own his desire.
‘Touch your tits. Use your other fingers on those hard nipples.’
I do, raising my free hand to my chest and shivering at the surprising sensations.
‘Ah, you like that.’
A rush of ecstasy comes over me in a wave, and I try to close my legs as though it’s too much, too strong, too fast. But his hands on my thighs stop me once more.
‘Don’t you close your legs.’ He groans, and another rush of moisture floods my pussy. I feel it on my fingers and follow the path to my entrance. ‘Can you feel how wet you are?’ His voice is so low. ‘Play with that pussy, baby.’
I open my eyes and look down at him. Fuck me. He’s a sex demon, I swear. He was sent here to corrupt me and drag me to hell, and well, honestly, I’m ready to go. Bags packed, legs open, I’m his, all in.
‘Doug…’ I moan, and he exhales.
‘What do you want?’
‘Please.’ I don’t know what I’m asking for, but it feels like I need it.
‘Please, what?’ His fingers stroke my inner thighs.
‘I want to see you.’ Oh , that’s what I want. He inhales and wraps his fist around his hard cock.
‘You want to see what you do to me?’
I nod, yes.
‘Words.’
‘Yes.’ The word is a plea, laced with desperation, and I squirm as he strokes slowly.
The thick head of his dick, swollen and glistening, pushes through his grip, and I moan at the erotic sight and the sensations of my fingers on my body.
‘Fuck your pussy with your fingers, Cara. One, then two. I want to see your fingers wet.’ Nerves out of the window, I do exactly as he says, pushing one finger inside me, then two, groaning at the realization of how good this feels. ‘Fuck yes. You’re doing so good.’
I lower my hand from my chest and hold it out toward him as I whimper his name, and he chuckles.
‘What?’ He asks as I look up to see him smirk and he moves, leaning over me, his dick coming so close that if I pulled my fingers out, he could easily be inside me. I do just that and try to use my feet on the back of his legs to pull him forward, but he shakes his head. ‘You want this?’ I nod yes. ‘Nah, baby. I want you to come on your fingers first.’
He sits back again, releasing his dick, to my dismay, and leaving it standing proud, tempting me.
‘Touch…’ I circle my clit again and feel it. I’m going to come. I’m going to make myself come. ‘Oh, god.’ I moan at the realization and the thrill it sends vibrating through me. ‘Touch yourself, please, please , Doug. Let me see you.’
He smiles, a naughty, delicious smirk as he starts to stroke once more, and I start to lose it.
‘Like this?’
I nod.
‘Words.’
‘Yes.’
‘Open those legs wider. Let me hear how wet you are.’ I do as I’m told. ‘Fuck, you smell good. I want to taste you.’
Ohhh, god.
‘That’s it. You’re close. How do you want me to reward you for being so good?’
Oh god. Jesus, fuck.
‘Tell me.’
‘Fuck, oh, my god, fuck me, please.’
That low chuckle vibrates through me again. ‘I like how you beg, baby. Say please again.’
‘ Please, Doug, please. Fuck me.’
‘ Fuck , Cara. Come for me, let me hear it, let me see, then I’ll show you what a good girl you’ve been.’
And just like that, my body responds to his command. My back arches, my fingers rub hard and fast, my muscles tighten and release, and I moan loudly with the waves of pleasure that roll me over and threaten to never let me up for air.
I come hard, and before I’ve floated back to earth, the man I can’t get my fill of is pushing into my body and taking me back to heaven—or hell, all over again.
‘You okay?’ Doug asks as I rest against his chest, sated, exhausted, liberated.
‘Yeah.’ I sigh.
‘You sure?’
I turn to gaze up at him. ‘I never. I mean, I just didn’t expect…’ I take a breath, struggling for words. ‘It surprised me that I enjoyed being told what to do and praised for it.’
He smiles and pulls me back to his chest. ‘It’s okay. A little praise kink never hurt anybody.’
‘It’s just not something I ever could have imagined, but I liked it, a lot.’
‘Good.’ He exhales. ‘I want to give you what you need, baby. We’ll try lots of things. I need you to just keep talking to me about what you like and don’t like, what you want to try, anything, okay?’
I really think I can do that. ‘Okay.’
‘I mean it, Cara, we need to communicate. You can talk to me about anything.’
I swallow at the need in his words. He’s relaxed. His voice is soft, but he needs me to understand.
‘I know, I will,’ I promise.
‘Good. Now get some sleep.’
His lips against my hair and his fingers tracing my spine are the last things I remember before exhaustion takes me into its hold and I already know, I'm going to wake up a whole new woman.