Chapter 39
Mei
The shadows pulse and throb, and I suddenly find myself face to face with the Nightmare himself. I can’t see him, the world is barren darkness again, but I can feel him.
“What happened, Healer?” Sorrow whispers. “What’s wrong? I felt the call. We all did.”
I let out a sob, but I can’t cry. I don’t have eyes. So, I scream and scream until my voice is broken.
“They’re gone,” I whisper. “Back to the oceans, as Deux’s slaves. I can’t save them now.” The words choke out of me.
“Shit, all right, let’s get you somewhere safe. You’re bleeding, Mei. You need to heal yourself.”
The words remind me of Ronit, and I moan piteously.
“I’ve got you, Healer. I’ve got you now.”
He helps pull me up, but I collapse, screaming, and fall into the dark.
***
Becky hands me a cup of coffee and sits nearby. I just hunch into the blanket; every part of my body hurts.
“We’ll find a way to save them,” she says confidently.
I exhale roughly, but an ocean scent hits me hard, and I jerk, spilling hot coffee on my hands.
“Kit?”
The cat approaches and climbs into my lap, curling into a ball.
“I’m sorry they left you behind.”
“I’m banning cats. That is freaky, and I’m absolutely not into it!” Diablos thunders. His voice trails off.
Kit lets out a meow.
“What happened?” he asks with a voice as soft as thunder. He comes closer and kneels in front of me, reaching out and covering my hands with his.
“Di, just wait, give her a minute,” Becky says gently. Her kindness hurts.
“What happened?” Diablos snaps.
“There was a fight,” I say hoarsely. “I was losing. Even with my heat distracting everything, I was still losing. I tried to convince him to take me and let them go.”
Diablos’ fingers flex on mine. Tightening until I think they will break.
“He wouldn’t do it,” I say in a pained whisper.
Kit starts to purr.
“They came and took him. The contract ended, they’re all in the ocean now, and he owns them. Deux has my shiver, and they are all gone. All of them.”
There’s a heavy, horrible silence. This is my fault.
I didn’t get to tell them-
I choke off that thought. I can’t go there. I can’t.
How can I live without them? How can I exist in a world where they aren’t?
Diablos takes the coffee cup out of my hands and passes it to Hartley. The human makes a sound of protest.
“I will come back, Hart. I promise.”
“You'd better.”
The demon pulls me up and shackles my wrists. I don’t pull against him, but then I have nothing left. No fight, no will, I am a barren wasteland.
“Where are you going?” Becky snaps.
“I need to show her why she is losing,” Diablos says in a voice I don’t recognise.
“She can’t see, Diablos. You can’t take her there,” Becky protests.
“Hush, Becks,” Wilder says. “Mei needs this.”
“She doesn’t need to see with her eyes,” Diablos growls. “Mei is the most ferocious warrior the worlds have ever seen, and she can’t see, but she can be better. She can be more.”
I tilt my head.
“More? If I was more, could I save them?”
“Yes, you could save them.”
He takes a step, and we’re falling. My stomach drops violently, and then we stop. It’s hot here, like the desert wind, with a scent that I identify as that of demons.
“Diablos!” a voice snarls.
I turn in that direction, hearing the beating of massive wings that come closer and closer.
The minute I step towards the winged creature, I understand my nature, I understand what I am. I dance on the cracked surface of the earth, moving faster and faster. Runes blaze out of my skin into the air without me even trying.
Shape changing, skin changing, witch, strega, healer, killer, mate, omega, queen, lover, friend, enemy, ally.
We collide in a boom that sends a shock wave throughout the world.
“Who are you?” he hisses. “Tell me who you are.”
I can’t see him. I can’t grow back my eyes, but I let the fake shape I created to protect myself in Nightmare slide away.
“There she is,” the voice says.
The winged creature steps back. I can sense his approval, the bitter urge to attack slides away, leaving a throbbing curiosity. I remember his scent from the beach, like fire and ice. What was his name?
Annileo.
“This is the Healer of Nightmare,” Diablos says.
“She’s not one of them,” Annileo says coldly. “She’s one of us.”
“Yes, she is.”
I can sense him circling me as easily as if I could see him, his scent is so rich in the air, so potent. It doesn’t appeal to me, but it doesn’t make me want to gag either.
“You don’t know what you are,” he snarls.
I bare my teeth as my skin ignites with runes.
“I am Mei. I don’t need to know who I am.”
“You don’t know how to control it.”
There’s a beat of silence.
“I am Annileo Satarsayed. I will teach you.”
Diablos’ deep satisfaction stills my hostile words. I can be more. I need to be more.
***
“Move faster,” Annileo snaps, and fire hits my heel, sending me jumping forward in an effort to stay ahead of it.
I race across the terrain, creating wings out of my magic, and fly across the void before I land in front of him, panting.
He’s quiet as he circles me.
In the three weeks I’ve been training with Annileo, he’s been a force. A formidable, knowledgeable well of information about who I am and what I can do. He explained my runes are part of who I am, that they will always be there, I don’t need to trace them; I just need to see them in my mind.
He’s shown me how to harness a part of myself I didn’t think I could reach.
I am a child of multiple worlds, and because of that, there is no world I cannot walk in.
We’ve sat and theorized that I can reach the Black Death Oceans because they are my mates. If I reach for them again, I will be able to go there. It’s how they called me across the first time. A song or summons for a mate.
“You’re ready,” he murmurs.
I wait patiently, irritated with his arrogant approval.
I think, perhaps one day, we could be friends, but not while I am so focused on saving my mates.
“We are both time poor so take this and go. You know what you are. You are already fast, dangerous, and deadly. Just lean into it. Trust your instincts, and remember, fire is the heart of us.”
“How can fire burn underwater?” I ask with a hint of despair.
“Fire can burn underwater, Mei. It just needs to be the right kind. You can do this. He is a low-level thief. He must not be allowed to keep what he has stolen.”
His wings buffet warm air into my face.
“Where will you go?” I ask gently.
His wings, big, massive leather things that stretch three times his body height, rustle.
“The Arcadian calls me. My angel is probably causing trouble again. So, I will go find them and continue to keep them out of trouble. Plus, Isla misses me.”
There’s a beat of silence.
“Good luck, Mei.”
I open my mouth, but there’s an almighty whoosh and a downdraft, and then he’s gone.
I stand there, listening to the world crackle and burn. There are so many creatures here, so many places I am tempted to explore.
But a single thought of my shiver sends a crippling longing and pain through me.
I can’t exist without them. Not really. I can live and do all the motions, but everything is empty, everything is dull.
I trace the rune in the air out of habit rather than necessity, and when the world rips open, I step to the edge, feeling the sudden and startlingly cold, briny world.
The oceans are furious, they are thunderous.
I’ve never heard it like this. The waves rise and crash into the surface of the water with bone-breaking intensity. The sound is deafening.
The cold buffets me, and the wind snatches me up. I fight against it, then realise I’m wasting time.