9. Let Me Help You
Let Me Help You
Leo
Five (and a half) Years Ago
‘Y’all don’t want me cramping your style,’ Zoe protested as Doug and I tried to get her to come for a drink with us. She gripped my arm, squeezing my bicep slightly before dropping her hand.
‘Yes, we do.’ I grinned. ‘I opened my shop today, munch. Celebrate with me.’
‘Come on, Zo,’ Doug added.
‘Ugh.’ She groaned, and I knew she was in. ‘Just one drink then. I have to drive home.’
‘Take my bed. I’ll take the couch.’ I smirked, and she inhaled deeply. ‘I’ll cook you breakfast in the morning and send you on your way.’
‘He will, too. He’s had plenty of practice.’ Doug laughed and my stomach dropped.
‘You make ‘em breakfast?’ Zoe painted on a smile. ‘Damn, you are the real deal.’
‘Idiots, both of you.’
I turned and stomped off, hating that he’d made reference to the women I take home in front of her. To Doug, that comment was hilarious, poking fun at slutty Leo, the big joke that I'm some player, but I just wanted to punch him in the balls. She knows. I know she knows I’m not living the celibacy life, but I don’t need it brought up in front of her like it’s nothing. I guess to him, it is nothing. To Doug, Zoe is just my friend, like he is.
I’d never been so pissed off to see my best friend. While I was tattooing Zoe, something was happening. It feels shitty to admit to it. It feels worse because it made my dick hard, but the way she was looking at me, the way she breathed and swallowed and squeezed her legs together, I read her like a book; she was turned on, with me, by me. It’s been two years of nothing but a few texts between us, and then there she was, laid out for me and looking at me the way I look at a burger on cheat day. I’ve been with enough women to know all the signs, and I’ve been with enough women to know exactly what I wanted to do to her. Then her brother walked in, and all the blood that had been heading south screamed retreat as I forced myself to remember where I was and who I was with.
Doug walking in was the human equivalent of letting a balloon go before you tie it off, and I hated him for it because in the two years since I fucked up that kiss, all I’ve wanted is a do-over. The chance to do it right and show her exactly how I feel about her.
We headed inside my favorite bar, a place that gets a little crazy after ten. The rock music that was a comfortable volume right now would go way up, and the crowd would get rowdy. It was a good time, but I just wanted to catch up with my friends and reflect on what I had achieved.
‘How are the ribs, Zo?’ Doug asked, a caring, concerned expression replacing his usual sarcastic one. He and his siblings could flip from cussing each other out to loving on one another in a heartbeat. I loved that about them.
‘Sore, but I’m tough. I can take it.’
Damn straight, she could. I always loved tattooing Zoe because she sat like a champ. She was this petite little thing, but her pain threshold was incredible. I’d had big, burly bikers struggle to sit like she did.
This felt good. Having her there, right next to me. I had missed her so much, and now that she was there, there was no awkwardness, no hint that anything between us had changed. It was just me and my best friends in the world, the way it always had been. We laughed loudly, drank steadily, and reminisced about the past. We’d go over and over moments from our history often, and somehow, it never got old. A lifetime with these people has been a privilege.
‘Oh, my goodness, honey,’ an older woman in leather trousers and a low-cut black top said with a smile as she stopped by our table and put her hand on Zoe’s shoulder. ‘Look at you, taking care of these two gorgeous men all by yourself.’
‘Oh,’ Zoe released a small laugh and shook her head. ‘No, it’s not, I’m,’ she gestured to Doug, ‘he’s my brother.’
‘Oh,’ the woman grinned at me and winked, ‘well, you two certainly look like you can handle each other. Good for you, sweetie.’
As she walked away, I laughed awkwardly. I couldn’t help it, but the look on Doug’s face was thunder.
‘Doug, calm down,’ Zoe said softly as he stared after the woman.
‘Why would she think you two…’
‘Because she doesn’t know us, and we’re sitting next to each other at a table in a bar, it was an assumption.’
‘Brother, I’ll get us some drinks. Relax, this is a celebration.’
I walked away toward the bar, leaving Zoe to calm her brother down, and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach — his reaction to the idea of me and her was instant, visceral.
I might have made a promise to Luke, but keeping that might ruin my friendship with Doug, and I didn’t think that was something I could bring myself to do. He’d been my best friend for over twenty years, and his friendship meant the world to me.
As I headed back to the table, I saw them both laughing and forced myself to relax. Zoe and I were not even in that place. I didn’t have anything to worry about.
‘Oh, this is nice.’
I showed Zoe up to my new apartment above the shop, and she took it all in.
‘It’s smaller than my last place, but it’s just me here, so it’s plenty.’
‘It’s great, Leo.’
I grinned. Her approval was important to me.
‘Beer, tea, or water?’
‘Water, please.’
She kicked off her shoes and sat on my couch, wincing a little, and I remembered the tattoo I’d done just a few hours earlier.
Handing Zoe her water and a couple of ibuprofen, I sat next to her and turned to face her. She smiled up at me gratefully. God, she was pretty.
‘Thank you.’
‘You sore?’
She nodded. ‘A little. It’s fine.’
‘Thank you for comin’, munch.’
She smiled. ‘I wouldn’t have missed this. I’m so proud of you.’
I reached out and took her hand on the couch between us, lacing my fingers with hers.
‘I missed you.’
‘I missed you, too.’
We talked for a bit — about the shop and the bar, generally catching up. Then, when she released my hand and turned her body towards mine, I immediately worried about what she was going to say. I knew her. I knew her looks, and I knew when she had something serious to say, she would always take a breath first, just like she was now.
‘What is it, munch?’
She swallowed and raised her gaze up to mine.
‘Okay, I need to talk to you about something, but I don’t know how you’re going to react.’
‘Go on.’ I was nervous. Part of me was worried, part excited — was she ready to test this connection between us?
‘I think.’ Another breath. ‘I might be ready to start dating.’ Oh. I adjusted my position, turning to face her. ‘I mean, I don’t know, and I feel kind of sick about it, but I don’t want to be alone forever, and I promised him, you know?’ I nodded, unable to speak as my heart raced in my chest. ‘I guess I just, I want you to be on board. I don’t want you to hate me for moving on.’
Ah, she didn’t mean with me.
My breathing stopped for a moment as the weight of that realization sank in. I knew, despite my promise to Luke, that Zoe and I wouldn’t happen, couldn’t happen, but something in me still hoped.
‘I would never hate you, munch. It’s a good thing that you’re ready.’
I took her hand again, and she laughed.
‘I mean, I say that I might be ready, but the panic in my chest tells me otherwise.’
‘What are you worried about?’
‘I’ve never been on a real date.’
I took a breath, then pulled her to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around hers.
‘We were kids, you know, so we didn’t date, and then when we dated as a couple, that was different because we knew everything about each other — we were already there. A first date with a guy I don’t know… I have no idea what to do, what to say.’
‘You just need to be yourself, Zo.’
I heard her take a deep inhale, then blow it out, and I considered how she must feel. She was with Luke from puberty to her mid-twenties. Now she was thirty, widowed for six years, and about to think about trying to meet a man for the first time in her life.
‘Do you date?’
Her question threw me. I wasn’t expecting it.
‘Um, not really, not often.’
She sat up and turned to face me.
‘So, you just meet women in bars and spend a night with them.’
‘Zo,’ I groaned. We were friends, but I didn’t want to talk about hookups with her.
‘I just don’t know how it works. How you talk to somebody and end up in bed with them.’
‘Are you looking to end up in bed with somebody?’
‘Well, eventually,’ she said quickly, and I felt my nostrils flare.
I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them to find her twisting the bottom of my t-shirt in her fingers. She really was worried about this.
‘I’ll tell you what.’ This was a bad idea, I knew it was, but I’d promised to take care of her. Always. ‘Friday night, let me take you out.’
‘What?’
‘A practice date. We’ll get dressed up. I’ll take you somewhere nice. It’ll be a real first date as if we don’t know each other, but at least you know if you feel nervous at any point, that it’s just me.’
‘Leo.’
‘Let me help you.’
‘A practice date,’ she said, not breaking eye contact, and I nodded.
‘Okay,’ her response was a whisper before she pushed herself up to stand and gazed down at me, ‘where’s the bathroom?’