Chapter 38
Jayce
Well, I’d fucked up. The text I was staring at right now was proof of that.
Alana: I need to talk to you.
Please. Mike tried to hurt me. I think I’m in real danger.
She was turning to Erebus for comfort instead of me. That or she was playing a game. It felt off, that was for sure. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I hadn’t made a plan for this.
I stared up at her window. All of the lights were off and she wasn’t on her phone. I thought about letting her sleep and dealing with it tomorrow, but I couldn’t do that. Her distress drew me in, demanded that I make sure she was okay. It was my entire purpose in this life.
Well, if she tried to stab me again, maybe it was karma. I’d been doing a lot of murder-y stuff lately.
With a sigh, I headed toward the building. I wasn’t feeling as confident as I had every time before. I certainly didn’t have that rush of excitement that came from feeding on her fear and pleasure in succession.
Quietly, I opened the front door. It felt dead in here. If I hadn’t seen her car outside, I would’ve thought she wasn’t home. It just felt wrong.
I ran my fingers over the island, smiling when I saw the wrappers. She’d eaten the chocolates. Quite a few of them, actually. That was a good sign, right?
Continuing down the hall, I found her door cracked. She was lying on her stomach with her face turned toward the window. Both of her hands were visible, so I knew she wasn’t holding a weapon. If one was under the pillow, I’d be prepared for it.
Resituating my mask, I kicked off my boots and knelt on the bed. With my knees on either side of her hips, I leaned down and breathed in her scent. It never got old. Just being this close made my cock stiffen. I pressed myself against her ass, which made her stir.
In her soft shorts, it was easy to move them to the side enough to plunge two fingers inside of her. She cried out and fisted the sheets. Looking at me over her shoulder, her eyes went wide. When I cocked my head, she licked her lips.
“Erebus.”
I said nothing as I stroked her tight walls. Moving my other hand underneath her, I cupped her breast. She pushed her ass backward, an easy invitation for me to do more. To take her. Fucking own her. I didn’t want this person to claim her, but she wanted him, so I’d give her that.
“You came,” she said through a moan.
“Mhm.”
“But why?”
“Because you asked.”
“I thought you were done with me.”
Grinding my teeth together, I flipped her onto her back. “If it were that simple, would I have gone through all the trouble of making you fall in love with me?”
“I’m not-”
I shushed her, running my thumb over her lips. Leaning over her, I dropped my voice to a whisper. “Why is your cunt so wet, Alana? Is it for me?”
She nodded, whimpering when I spread her wetness up to her clit. I stripped her of the shorts, then parted her lips so that I could see the tattoo. Nyx . She was Erebus’ lover and that meant she belonged to me, the god of darkness- hers and mine.
Her chest rose and fell heavily as she watched me. I met her eyes and ran my thumb over her clit. Her lips parted, making my mouth water.
“Take the mask off,” she whispered.
I paused, caught off guard. With a shake of my head, I unzipped my pants and stroked my cock, trying to ignore the pleading look in her eyes. Before I could enter her, she bent her knee and put a foot on my chest, applying pressure. I raised a brow, then realized she couldn’t see it anyway. When she pushed harder, I huffed and sat back.
Her arms twined around my neck as she sat in my lap. Her warm pussy moved down the underside of my shaft and I thrust upward, wanting more of her, all of her. She dropped her face to my neck, pushing my hood back enough to reach my skin. My eyes closed when she pressed her lips against me.
Lifting her, I positioned her over my cock. Her tongue grazed the shell of my ear just as she lowered onto me. It was agonizing to wait. I fucking needed her. I always had and always would.
“Ride me, Alana.”
She obeyed, her quickening breaths hitting my ear and making me shiver. I squeezed her ass tightly, guiding her movements- harder, faster, then slow again. I could tell by the cadence of her breathing that she was getting closer.
Grabbing her ponytail, I pulled her head back. She looked into my eyes with parted lips and flushed cheeks. She searched my face as if she could see straight through the mask.
“What do you see?” I asked.
Something crossed her features- uncertainty, anger, pleasure, or all of the above. It was impossible to decipher. Gently, I laid her down and pushed back inside of her.
“Stop,” she said.
“Stop what? If you mean fucking you, the answer is always no.”
She moaned, her fingers digging into my back. I wished I wasn’t wearing the sweatshirt so I could feel her nails on my skin.
“You’re being soft,” she went on.
My hands traveled under her cami, drifting over her smooth skin. “And why shouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’re not him right now.”
I stopped breathing. It was a possibility before I came in here, of course, but if she knew, why hadn’t she said anything until now? I didn’t trust it. This wasn’t how she should be acting. She shouldn’t be letting me fuck her like this, as if everything was normal.
When I started to move back, she sat up and wrapped her arms around me. “Jayce.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
All of my plans converged, crashing together in a massive, flaming heap. None of them were good plans, even though I wouldn’t let myself see it at the time. Break and reforge her, make her fall in love with both sides of me, make her run into my arms- they were all flawed in countless ways. And it was infinitely more unnerving that I had no idea which rules we were following right now. This specific scenario wasn’t one I’d considered, at least not like this. When I thought about her finding out prematurely, I imagined her stabbing me in the jugular or screaming and running to the police.
This… What the fuck was happening?
I shook my head, unable to figure it out right now. Instead, I flipped her onto her stomach and thrust inside of her again.
“Jayce.”
I fucked her harder, forcing the breath from her. When she tried to brace herself with her hands, I held onto the back of her neck. A major part of me feared this would be the last time she’d let me touch her like this. Why’d she text Erebus? Why put on the act?
Maybe she was setting me up. I looked around, but there weren’t any visible cameras and no flashing lights outside. I grabbed her phone off the nightstand without slowing. When I unlocked it, there were no apps running.
Again, I wondered what would happen after this. I couldn’t lose her. I wouldn’t . Alana Monroe would never escape me. Even in death, I would find her, and if I had to thrust hooks through both of us to bind us together, I would do it without hesitation.
“Jayce, you’re hurting me,” she whimpered.
Releasing her neck, I grabbed onto her hips, yanking her back with every one of my thrusts. She cried out and dug her fingers into the mattress. I could hear the sheets tear under her grip. With a frustrated growl, I pulled out of her and rolled her over.
“Do you want me?” I demanded.
Tears streamed down her face as she stared up at me. “I don’t know.”
“Then why ask me to come here?”
“I had to know… for sure.”
“You’re playing games.”
She wouldn’t answer and I was tired of waiting. Reaching up, I ripped off the mask and flung it across the room. Her eyes widened, even though she already knew what would be underneath. I wanted to throttle her for all of this bullshit but as always, I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her. Not really.
Taking her by the throat, I moved my hips forward. As soon as I kissed her, she wrapped her legs around my waist. And it was everything .
I fucked her just as hard as before, but this time she didn’t complain. I pulled off my sweatshirt, letting her move her hands underneath my t-shirt. The glide of her fingers across my back anchored me and when her nails dug into my skin, I forced her mouth open. Her tongue met mine, needy and desperate, just like I knew she’d been for me all this time. She just wouldn’t give in to that darkness the way I had. I’d never had a choice. Whether it was a compulsion that drove me to her and pushed me to such lengths, I didn’t care. If one of us had to be a monster, I’d happily claim the title as long as I got Alana in the process.
“I love you,” I said into her mouth. “I love you. I fucking love you. Until my dying breath, with my dying breath, after my dying breath.”
I tasted her tears as they streamed through our lips. Holding onto the back of her neck, I crushed her against me, unwilling to give an inch.
“You love me, Alana. Tell me you love me.”
She made a choked sound as her pussy tightened around me. “Jayce, I… Fuck.”
She cried out and I couldn’t keep myself from finishing with her. I bit her lip until she bled and when it trickled onto my tongue, I pushed it into her mouth. When I sat back on my knees, I pushed my fingers inside of her. She quivered, still in the aftermath of her orgasm. Pulling them free, I spread my cum around her clit, then over her skin, traveling up to her stomach. The sight was enough to make me want to start over.
When I looked at her, there were a few tears still rolling down her cheeks.
“Alana.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, barely above a whisper.
“Don’t want to what?”
“Love you.”
“Well, denial won’t help the situation.”
Her nostrils flared. The anguish in her eyes morphed into hostility. I raised a brow as I watched her get up, hunting for the shorts I’d tossed somewhere in the room earlier. When she couldn’t find them, she marched over to the dresser and grabbed a pair of jeans.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Going for a walk.”
“You’re not going for a walk. It’s fucking one in the morning.”
“What’s gonna happen, Jayce? Is someone gonna start stalking me?"
“You’re not very street smart, so it’s a valid concern.”
“Screw you.”
“Jesus,” I muttered, getting to my feet.
She watched me warily and I didn’t miss the way her eyes darted down to my half-hard dick. If she didn’t stop looking, she’d find herself spread out on the bed again, a victim to my whims. Those could get pretty dark these days.
She disappeared into the closet and came back out with a sweater. “Go away.”
“You called me here.”
“I wanted to talk. I didn’t know you’d immediately come in and fuck me.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t bullshit me. You’re not stupid. That’s why you called him.”
“You mean, I called you .”
“You know the difference.”
She whirled on me with only one arm in her sweater. “What is the difference, Jayce? Huh? You don’t have some split fucking personality.”
“Maybe I do.” I laughed when her face turned a deeper shade of red with her anger. “Let’s just calm down, yeah?”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down.”
I held up my hands in surrender, still smiling. “Alright. That’s my mistake.”
“I’m done with this. You had one last joy ride, now we can part ways.”
“Part ways,” I repeated. My own anger was rising to the surface, making my skin hot. “You ruined me for anyone else and you think you can just walk away?”
“I didn’t do anything. Your obsession is on you.”
Closing the distance between us, I grabbed her jaw in one hand and backed her up against the dresser.
“I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known you. I’ve kept you safe, fucking killed for you.”
“You…” She drew in a shuddering breath. “You killed people?”
“Threats.” I waved a dismissive hand. “They get eliminated.”
“This isn’t a game!”
“Everything is a game, Alana! Life is a fucking game. There are winners and losers. We can cheat, lie, manipulate the odds. Everybody is keeping score and if you haven’t figured that out then you’re too na?ve.”
Her jaw worked as her eyes fell to my chest. “I’m not na?ve.”
“I manipulated you, Alana. Over and over again. And it was so fucking easy to make you kneel to me. It’s a game and you’ve lost every fucking round.”
“Yeah, you manipulated me. I think that speaks more to your character.”
“If I can fuck with your mind, what’s stopping anyone else from doing it, huh? If someone else showed up wearing this mask, would you know the difference?”
“Yes.”
“I think you’re fucking weak.”
“Stop it,” she said in a small voice that pissed me off more.
“For years, you were too much of a coward to admit you loved me. Even when he was gone, you wouldn’t do it. You invite me here, then try to run away after you play your hand. For what?” I laughed and squeezed her cheeks harder. “That’s weak .”
She slammed her hands against my chest. It made me smile and I pressed my body closer to hers. Her palm connected with my cheek. Letting out a scream, she shoved me with all of her strength, then turned her head and bit my fingers that still held her face.
“There. Fucking finally. Why didn’t you fight this hard before? Why’d you let me come in here and fuck you again ?”
“Because it’s you.” Her eyes welled with tears, making the green shimmer. “But you’re a bad person. You’re not who I thought you were.”
I loosened my grip on her, stroking across her jaw. “You liked me when I was only the monster and when I was the hero. Now, you know I’m both and you’re somehow jumping on a high horse. Somewhere deep down, you knew. I think you knew the whole time.”
“No.”
With a chuckle, I slid both of my hands to her waist. “You trusted me too quickly, Alana. You gave in so easily, before the tattoo had even healed on your cunt.” I kissed a few of the tears on her cheeks. “You gave yourself to the beast inside of me because you were too much of a coward to take what you truly wanted.”
“And what’s that?” she demanded.
“All of me. You want me just as much as I’ve always wanted you.”
“You just want my compliance. My submission.”
“No. I don’t want you to bend to my will. Not until I make you. You weren’t made to be mediocre. I don’t want easy. I don’t want complacency. I want this . Us. Forever.”
I pulled her into a kiss. She gave in for a moment before she turned her head.
“Put the mask on.”
“No.”
“If you’re gonna fuck me, do it with the mask. I can’t look at your goddamn face, Jayce.”
Picking her up, I set her on top of the dresser. She kicked at me when I pulled off her jeans. Without any preamble, I thrust inside of her roughly, making her grip my arms tightly.
“You say that, but you still want to fuck me. You see how insane that is, right?”
“Then I’m insane,” she said before she gasped. “But you’re worse.”
“Yes, I am.” The dresser shook, knocking over a picture and some bottles of perfume. Her nails drew blood on my arms and it only made me fuck her harder. “I’m gonna fuck you like he would and you’re going to look at my face. You’re going to look into my eyes and realize you love every horrifying, monstrous part of me because we belong to each other, now and forever, in life and in death. And if you want to kill me, at least give me one last taste of your corrupt soul.”
“If it’s corrupt, it’s only because you made it that way.”
“I’ll happily spend an eternity in hell for that. Do you know why?” She stared, waiting. “Because it puts you right there beside me. There’s no escape, baby, and it’s time for you to accept that you don’t want one.”