Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
~AMELIA~
He’s been gone from the apartment for two days and I swear I can still smell him in here. I’m in his room now running a Swiffer over his floor, hoping that the smell in the room will be replaced with the lavender that is on the pad. I hear the door to my apartment opening.
“I’m in the back bedroom,” I call out.
“Hey Amelia, I’m here to take you to practice,” Cassie calls as she makes her way back the hallway.
“I think I could try and drive myself. It’s not the right foot. It’s not my driving foot,” I remind her.
“I know it is, but I thought it might be nice to ride to practice together.” She looks around the room. “Why are you cleaning this? I thought August volunteered to have someone come and clean the room.”
I look around the empty room, and I can still picture where his things were. “I know he did but I have it. This keeps me busy.”
She eyes me for a second and then walks over the dresser. Swiping a finger on it, she checks for dust. “Looks pretty clean to me. And if I remember correctly it’s been clean for a while. You are nothing if not consistent with your cleaning schedule. What’s really going on here?”
I look at her. “No dust proves nothing.”
“No, it doesn’t. But I’m pretty sure when we all came over a few days ago, you had finished cleaning it, remember?” She places her hands on her hips and eyes me carefully. “We were supposed to help you, but you did it all by yourself.”
“Oh yeah, that,” I say waving her off.
“So why are you still Swiffering? The floor wasn’t that dirty to begin with, I would imagine.”
“Just being thorough is all.” I say, trying to deflect.
“Want to tell me what’s wrong and try telling me the truth this time?” she asks.
I get ready to say nothing is wrong, but I take one look at her, and I stop. Cassie is standing there, hands on her hips, her eyes boring into me, waiting for me to spout more bullshit. “I think it still smells like him in here.” I shrug and look away from her.
I feel her arms around me, pulling me towards her and I let her. “Oh honey, I’m not sure I smell him in here. I think your mind is playing tricks on you, sweetie. I only smell the cleaner; rather strongly actually. Should we get you out of here? You might be inhaling some of the fumes.”
I laugh and pull back from her. “I don’t think so, but okay.”
“Come on, honey, let’s get you to practice. It might make you feel better to be outside for a bit. Plus, I hear you have some physical therapy that you are supposed to be working on.”
“Yep, thankfully, Lucas got the plan from Dex, so hopefully I can count on it being accurate,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“I’m pretty sure that he would not do that to you. He wants you to get better,” Cassie reminds me.
“Why, have you talked to him?” I ask her, my eyebrows shooting up. I can feel the hope spring up in my chest.
“No, honey, I haven’t. Would you like to talk to him? Because you could start with something small like helping you with exercises and see how that goes.” She watches me for a moment. “It would be a totally logical question to ask him. No one would suspect a thing.”
“No, I’ll be alright with Lucas,” I tell her glumly.
“I’m sure he’d be happy to help you,” she winks at me.
I shake my head. “No, I need to get over this. And I will. It’s going to take some time.”
“Alright, well, let’s get you to practice. I don’t want to be late and have to run for it. I’d make you run the laps but that would not go so hot,” she teases me.
“No, it sure would not. I mean, I could try it on crutches if Watts insisted,” I tease her.
“That would get him fired so fast. August would like to have his head or something,” Cassie says, laughing. “He’s actually pretty considerate of us. More involved than anyone thought he would be.”
“He is,” I agree, but add, “Don’t let Hendrix hear you say something positive about him. She’ll straight rip your head off for it.”
“Right? She’s still so angry at him. I wish I knew how to help her, you know? Make it easier for her to move on. I even suggested she try dating someone, but that didn’t go over well. She reminded me that she was in season and had to focus.”
“But you and Mac started dating in season and your focus is just fine,” I say, shaking my head.
“I think it’s simply a diversion of some kind. Either way, I wish we could find a way to help her let go a little bit.” Cassie holds open my door, and I do my best to hobble past her without hitting her with a crutch. “Careful on the stairs,” she warns.
“I know what you mean. I’m always worried she’s going to take it too far and then he’ll snap,” I say, carefully grabbing the banister to get myself down the stairs.
“Agreed, but he seems to give her a lot of leeway, hopefully he keeps on doing it.” Cassie helps me get into the Jeep and asks, “You good? Is there anything you need?”
“I’m fine, you don’t have to baby me,” I say grinning at her. “Although, I do get to pick the music!”
She giggles, coming around the Jeep. “All yours, girl.” She hands me her iPhone, and I find a Spotify playlist that I like. And we’re off to practice.
It feels weird walking into the training room, I know he’s going to be there. The anticipation of seeing him feels like it’s rising in my chest. Every step towards the room feels like it’s getting heavier. I stop at the entrance and take a deep breath in and out.
“Here goes nothing,” I say and push open the door.
My eyes immediately begin scanning the room. I’m not finding the trainer that I am looking for. I see only Lucas in the room.
“Hey, Amelia, how’s it going?” Lucas walks over to me. “Come on in and I’ll get a look at that knee before we get started.”
I nod and say, “I thought we would be doing some exercises or stretches today.”
“We will get to that, but first I wanna see what we’re working with. So, pop up here on the table let me get a look at you.” He slaps the table in front of him.
I sigh and make my way over to him. I’m annoyed that I have to go through this range of motion bullshit with him.
I wish it was Dex here helping me with this.
He’s so gentle and quick when he moves my knee around.
But I’ve done this to myself because if I had only let Dex continue to work with me, this wouldn’t be a thing.
“Didn’t he leave you any notes?” I ask, hoping to change his plans.
He nods and says, “He left a few but I want to see where we are. Every week or so, we do these checks. Didn’t he do one with you at the end of last week.”
I shake my head, remembering back to the last time we were in here. Dex was too busy making out with me to worry about the range of motion in my leg. No, we had our tongues down each other throats and we were exploring that range. That is not something that I can say to Lucas.
“I don’t think so. I think I was too sore to do that,” I say lamely.
“Well, let’s do it now. Brace off,” he tells me.
I take the brace off, and Lucas starts torturing me, having me move my knee around as much as I can tolerate. We work on how far I can bend, fully straighten it and then my side-to-side motion, which sucks.
“How are you doing with everything?” Lucas asks, while he moves the knee around.
I stare at him for a moment. I’m not sure what he’s referring to. Is he talking about my knee? Or the fact that whatever relationship I had, where I said I loved him, ended with his leggy, perfect wife showing up? Which one does he mean?
“Uhh,” I stammer.
“Are you still taking the pain meds regularly? And have you been icing it?” he clarifies.
“Oh, that. I’m still on the pain medication and I have been icing it nightly. Well, most nights.” I don’t dare add that the night I spent wrapped around Dex, I did not ice because the heat our bodies generated would have caused it all to melt. No, I do not mention that at all.
“Good, that’s good. I think the swelling looks good. We’re going to work on some exercises in here and then I’ll send you out to the pitch to watch the rest of practice. I promised Watts that you would be out there at some point,” he tells me.
I nod and say, “Okay.” I look around the training room back towards the door to his office, which is open. But there is no sign of him. If Lucas would have me on the table that is closer to his office, I might be able to see if he’s there. But I can’t. I sigh, feeling defeated.
“Everything okay?” Lucas asks, moving my leg around a bit more.
I wince. “That hurts.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Let’s check on your range of motion.” Lucas reaches over and grabs a tool that helps him measure the angle in the end of my knee. “I’ll be gentler with you, I promise.”
“You’re fine. I’m used to being poked and prodded with this damn thing.”
“Any updates on when you’re headed back to the doctor? You could ask them for a cortisone shot and see if that would help with your PT,” he suggests.
I shrug. “I think that Dex, as a PA, was planning on managing my care because it’s not surgical. I guess I could call the doctor I saw that night and see if he would see me,” I say, shrugging.
“Hmm, okay, well, I’ll mention it to Dex when I see him next, see what he thinks. Hold off on calling Dr. Haldman.”
“Right, that was his name,” I say, my face reddening a bit.
Back when I was first hurt, I was looking forward to it only being Dex who helped with my care. He was so gentle and playful when he worked with me. He made PT not seem like so much work. But I guess that is what I get for sleeping with my trainer.
I finally ask him the question that has been running through my mind since I entered the office. “Is Dex not in today?”
Lucas looks at me, a sad smile crossing his face. “He is. He’s not down here right now.”
I nod and say nothing.
“It’s going to be okay. I’ll give you the same care that he would have, and if I need him, I’ll call him in,” Lucas says, his voice laced with pity.
Great, I think to myself, now I have Lucas pitying me over all of this.
I sit there and quietly think about what he might know about us and whether he saw it or did Dex confide in him.
When I’ve been in the training room before with both of them, they have talked and joked with one another.
Dex likes Lucas too; he said he was impressed with his work. So, I guess he could have mentioned it.
I hope that no one else figures out that there was something between Dex and me. I say very little through the rest of the session, except to let him know when he’s hurting me.
“Here, take this ice and head out to the practice field to watch the team. I can give you a lift out there if you would like. Especially since I worked you pretty hard today.” He smiles sympathetically at me.
“Yeah, sure that would be great.”
Lucas gets my ice and helps me onto the cart.
We begin our drive out the practice field.
As we’re heading out of the entrance, I look back because I feel like someone is watching me, and there he is.
He’s heading down the hallway and from the looks of it, he’s going into the training room.
The realization that he was avoiding me smacks me in the face.
Lucas yammers on and on about the upcoming games and how he can make sure that I’m comfortable on the bench.
Apparently, Jase mentioned me sitting up with Andie.
I nod along, hearing him but not really listening to what he is saying. I’ve never been so happy to get out into the hot Tampa heat.
“Give me a holler if you need a lift to Cassie’s Jeep.” He smiles at me sincerely.
“Thanks, Lucas, I appreciate it.” He nods, turning to get back into the cart. “Hey, Lucas, thanks for working with me.”
He smiles warmly at me, all traces of pity gone. “Anytime, Amelia, that’s what I’m here for.” With that, he speeds back to the offices, and I turn my attention to the training fields.
First day of PT without him and I survived. He avoided me and I survived. It can only get easier from here. At least that is what I tell myself.