4. I Hate Him
CHAPTER 4
I HATE HIM
DELILAH
I walk into the room and pace the floor as I try to calm my racing heart. The darkness of Miles’s eyes plays through my mind and the raw need all over his face sends chills over my body. I press my hands to my face.
“Damn it. We were arguing about what an ass he is. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” It can’t happen. Ever.
My body wanted him more than anything in the world at the moment, but running away was the best thing for me to do. We can’t go there.
We didn’t even conclude the conversation I was trying to have with the stubborn man. It’s sexy as hell that he loves Lola as much as he does, and I admire that quality in Miles. I never knew the protective dad thing would do this much for me before now.
The dream plays through my mind as I drop onto the bed. Well, dreams. There have been a few, but they’re all hot and I wake up to get myself off every damn time. Miles looked at me like in the dreams and it took everything I had in me not to give in tonight.
Not the point. That would be the fact I am taking the best care of Lola. I know how to do it. She eats healthy food, I give her a ton of affection and all my focus when I’m with her, and she’s getting on a great schedule. We have activities both in and out of the house, and she’s a giggling, happy child.
What does Miles want from me? Everyone else seems happy with Lola’s progress but her dad.
I’m making significant money here so that I can save for an apartment when this gig ends and I don’t want to lose that. So much money that I don’t have a problem playing house here, especially when Lola helps me as much as a three-year-old can with everything. It’s helping her grow and I am already in love with that little girl.
It’s just confusing how I feel about her father. He’s the hottest man I’ve ever seen, and his protective nature makes him even better, though it makes me angry. His skills on the ice are second to none, even my brother, but he’s an asshole. I’m not surprised he broke up with Lola’s mom, since he can’t be compassionate.
If Miles knew how to be caring to anyone but Lola and maybe his family, he might make a decent partner for any woman.
I change into pajamas, locking the door before I slip into bed. I’m nowhere near tired, but Lola wakes up in the morning regardless of how I feel. Going out there where Miles is isn’t an option.
Since I got myself worked up so much during the argument, I know I won’t get any sleep until I make myself have an orgasm.
“This isn’t the second time I’ve done this for him. It isn’t.” I grit my teeth and slide my hand between my legs, whimpering at the wet heat. I’m so aroused and hate that Miles does this to me.
I take a deep breath and work my clit, feeling the pressure building up. It’s been a while for me, and I rock into it, sliding two fingers inside of my pussy. The dream plays through my mind again and I wonder how realistic it is as I drive my fingers in while thumbing my clit.
“Oh, God.” I arch my back, releasing warmth over my fingers. “Maybe I need to do it this way more often. It feels great.”
I finally get to sleep, and when I go into the kitchen the next morning, I find Miles and Lola already there.
“I’ll make her breakfast today. There are only a few days until things get crazy.” Miles doesn’t even look at me and I stare at him before offering Lola a small smile.
I take a shower and throw on some clothes, deciding to go out to breakfast. Screw this. It’s tempting to call Andrew and tell him his best friend is a jerk, but then I’d have to speak out loud about the near kiss.
No, thank you.
I go to my favorite café to order coffee and eggs, looking around the restaurant as I wait. This is peaceful and reminds me of college days when I’d come out to study alone. Those were the days.
Once I finish breakfast, I walk around, getting some fresh air while I shop. Miles didn’t say he had the entire morning handled, but I felt dismissed, so here we are. I call Allison to ask her what she’s up to since I have had so little time to spend with her.
“How did you get time off?” I hug Allison as she approaches me. Her green eyes are bright as she pulls away with a smile.
“I miss you.” I sigh. “Miles said he had it handled this morning, so I took some time to myself. I had breakfast and shopped, but I thought we could hang for a while.”
“Hell, yes. Let’s do this. What did you buy?” We walk into the large mall, and I shake my head.
“Something for Lola. It’s a new toy that teaches her unfamiliar words and looks amazing. I didn’t mean to think about work, but it’s hard not to when she’s involved.”
“So, she’s a good part of the job.”
“Lola is amazing. She’s at the age where she wants to learn everything, from new words to helping me in the kitchen. Her energy level is a lot, but that’s normal. We play hard and she sleeps hard and often, I sleep when she sleeps. It’s a legit thing.”
Allison laughs at me, and I can’t help but laugh with her.
“And Dad?”
I let out a long groan.
“He’s crazy. Like completely insane. He nitpicks everything I do, Allison.” I grip the bag harder and look forward, lost in thought. “She’s a cheerful kid, despite losing her mom at a really young age. I feed her the healthiest food, she learns when she plays, and I keep her active outside. Lola is happy. She’s got his family and friends supporting her, and Miles, and they appreciate me. I love that, but he’s a nightmare to deal with.”
“It sounds a little like when we were kids and boys used to tease us. Does he like you?” I glance at Allison. “He’s a gorgeous, famous hockey player. A lot of women wouldn’t complain.”
“He’s an asshole. I get that he’s protective of his daughter, as any father should be, but give me a break. She’s so happy with me. Why can’t Miles feel that way?”
“He lost someone as much as she did. Her mom helped him, and he must have trusted her even though they split up. He became a single father overnight, Del. That’s got to be tough.” Allison shrugs when I glance at her. “Just saying.”
“You’re on his side?”
“I am not on his side, Delilah. I just sympathize with what he’s going through. I have trouble having someone watch Lily when I travel and she’s a dog. He’s leaving his daughter for nights at a time.”
“Why did I call you?” I shake my head and look around the mall to see what stores are around.
“I also know how amazing you are with kids. We used to babysit together. You’re also smart as hell, and if anyone can get Lola ready for school, you’re it. Your mom did such a good job with you that you’re destined to do the same.” Allison hugs me and everything feels okay again. “I think we need some ice cream. You had breakfast, right?”
I check my phone at the table where we’re waiting for ice cream. There’s been nothing from Miles, though I worry I’m out too long. Am I supposed to wait until he calls me back to the house?
We didn’t talk about that.
“Do you have the entire day off?” Allison asks me, and I frown. “Didn’t he tell you?”
“I just knew he wanted to spend the day with Lola, so I stepped out. He’ll be on the road a lot soon and it’ll just be me. This was a pretty good day until I called you.”
Allison laughs and takes a bite of her sundae.
“It’s always a good day when you spend it with me. Do you have the night off? We can have a sleepover like the old days.”
Spending the night anywhere other than that house sounds amazing, but that might take advantage of Miles. Lola has a lot of energy.
“I don’t think I have that much time off. Miles might want to get a break this evening.”
“Why do you look that way every time you say his name?”
“What way?”
“Uncomfortable. Did something happen? Something other than the usual?”
Allison can see right through me, and I hate that right now.
“He just pushes my buttons. That’s all.” I shrug.
“The way you are turning red, I’d say he really pushed a button. Did you guys hook up?”
Allison leans forward and her eyes light up as she stares at me. I feel my skin flush more and close my eyes.
“No. I’m not going to sleep with my boss, who also happens to be my brother’s best friend. Do you know how stupid that would be?”
“But something happened between you two. It can see your expression.” She narrows her eyes. “I’ve seen you with guys before, Del. This is the look.”
“Ugh. We almost kissed last night.”
“Almost? What stopped it?”
Allison is bouncing in her seat and I think about the night before.
“We were arguing about what a jerk he is. The man infuriates me so much and I just couldn’t hold back. I want to understand why he’s like this and then he stepped closer to me. He was so angry and I wanted to slap him, but then I knew he wanted to kiss me. I just felt it in the air. You know?”
I look at Allison and she nods, reaching out for my hand.
“I ran to my room, Allison. That couldn’t happen.”
“So, there’s some tension there. Sexual tension. That makes sense, given the situation.” Allison contemplates me. “Are there any feelings there?”
“Feelings? No. I can’t stand the man. I love his daughter, but he’s a mess.”
“That can lead to some hot sex, Delilah. I’ve read a lot of nanny romances and oh my god.”
“Don’t put me into one of those books. I am taking care of a great little girl that needs me to be there completely, Allison. If anything happened, that would sabotage all the work I’ve done.” I stir my ice cream, losing my appetite the further this goes on. “I don’t work like the women in the books. I’m logical.”
“That’s what got you through college, Del. It’s an amazing trait of yours, but it’s time to live. You want this guy and I’d say he wants you. Why not have a little fun?”
“I value my careful way of living, Allison. I’m not doing that.”
“You have feelings for this guy, Delilah. Can’t run from them forever.”