13. Doubt
CHAPTER 13
DOUBT
MILES
I tell the guys to have a good night when we leave the restaurant after our celebration dinner and then walk to my car. It’s late and dark outside, and I wonder if Delilah is awake.
Do I want her to be awake?
I couldn’t stop looking at her throughout the game, but Lola is the reason everybody thinks I was doing it. I’ll let them think that, but Delilah stood out tonight. She’s beautiful and when she laughs, I can see the delight in it. Maybe it’s because we’ve been intimate, but Delilah is sexy with her big personality.
Delilah is also my best friend’s sister, not to mention my nanny. What the hell was I thinking giving in to my lust for her?
I see the other guys pull out of the parking lot and get into my car, warming up the engine. The other guys might wonder why I’m just sitting out here in the parking lot and think something is wrong. I don’t want to answer questions right now.
I make the drive home, searching the windows as I park. It’s dark in there, but I don’t have a clear view of the living room here since it’s behind the den that’s in the front of the house.
All I can do is go in. Everything is quiet, but I see the TV on in the living room. I make my way in there to find Delilah in fitted leggings and a thin T-shirt that leaves little to the imagination.
I pause to take her in, feeling my body react. As an athlete, I admit my sex drive can be high after adrenaline filled games, but this is different. It’s more about the woman in front of me than it is the big win we just had.
“Great game.”
I blink and she’s smiling at me, stretching as I see her nipples strain against her shirt.
“Thanks. Lola had fun?”
“Always. She gets so spoiled by everybody and really loves seeing you out there. I think I can teach her about the game little by little.”
I want my daughter to know what I do inside and out. Why is Delilah so perfect for her and for me? I close my eyes and sigh.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Delilah sits up as I open my eyes and need flows through my body. Before I can stop myself, I am on her. Pushing her back to the cushions, I claim her mouth in the kiss that has been eating away at me all night. She moans and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer as our tongues dance together.
I am so fucking weak.
In between long kisses, I strip her clothes from her body before she works my tie from my neck. I feel my shirt fall to the floor and her hands on my heated skin as my cock hardens to the point that it hurts.
I remember where we are and take a ragged breath.
“Is she sleeping?”
“Lola felt so exhausted tonight. I can’t imagine anything that would make her wake up.”
Our eyes meet in the light of the TV and we both make our way to my room. I’ll get the clothes later since that won’t mean anything to my young daughter.
When my door is locked, I slide my pants to the ground and walk towards Delilah. Our mouths crash together as I yank her to me, feeling her heat against my skin. I let my hands wander, squeezing her perfect ass before sliding them up her sides.
The way she shivers under my touch makes me want her even more.
I cup her breasts, feeling her nipples harden as I squeeze them. Delilah rakes a hand through my hair in reaction and we fall to the bed in a tangle of legs and arms.
I’m sucking a nipple into my mouth as I slide my hand between her legs, realizing she wants me as much as I want her. Delilah arches her back as I slide a finger inside of her, fucking her hard as I keep sucking and biting. She’s tight and perfect and the way her orgasm washes over me as she cries out my name only furthers my desire.
I spread her legs and cover her with my mouth, licking at her to get every taste. I’m familiar with post-game sex and I can get aggressive, but this goes beyond that. I eat her like she’s my last meal, drinking in her second release as Delilah writhes above me. I wrap my arms around her to steady her, circling my tongue over her as she slides a hand into my hair.
She grips and tugs, fueling me to move slower and harder as Delilah whispers my name. Good girl. We need to be as quiet as possible. When it feels like she’s close again, I make Delilah come for me with my name on her lips.
“Is that what athlete sex is like?”
Delilah lies limp on my bed as I pull away from her, sucking in air.
“We haven’t even gotten to that part yet. Can you handle more?”
Her hand on my cock suggests she can, and I give in to the incredible feeling of her stroking me, rocking with her.
“Get on your knees for me.”
I watch as she moves, raising her ass in the air as I stroke her with my fingers.
“Perfection.”
I move in and enter her slowly, loving her warm heat around me. My hands dig into her hips, and she rocks with me, moaning my name as I fill her completely. Our rhythm is perfect as we move and before too long, I’m coming right along with Delilah as she whimpers my name.
We’re lying on the bed in a few minutes, my arm draped over her back as we both recover.
“That’s all I could think of when I watched you tonight. The way you move out there on the ice reminds me of how you are during sex. Even though I grew up around hockey, I never had many fantasies about the players. There were little crushes, but Drew would ruin anything for me, anyway.”
She goes quiet and I know we’re both thinking about her brother.
“He’d kill me for this, Delilah.”
“He isn’t here with us. Nobody picked up on anything at the game tonight or dinner. You always look over at Lola.”
“I think I did it a little more tonight, and it wasn’t always for her. It was you, and your laugh and that smile. Do you know how much that makes me want you?”
I stroke her damp skin and watch as she looks at me. This is dangerous and we both know it. If we stop now, maybe we can recover from it. If we keep going, we’re going to get caught.
Our families know each other and are together a lot, including her brother. Andrew isn’t stupid, and he’ll pick up on something eventually because he knows me so well. I don’t date and the obvious guess would be his sister.
Then I’d lose a great friend and fuck up my team. I can’t let that happen.
“We need to cut this off now, Delilah. So many bad things can happen if we continue.”
I hate saying the words, but we both know it’s true. She’d pay for this as much as I would.
“That’s what you want, Miles?”
No. I want to be with her every single night in this bed. It just can’t happen.
“I think it’s best.”
My words convey a conviction I don’t feel. Delilah makes me feel different from any other woman I’ve been with, and I want to know more. She’s just so off limits.
“I think you’re scared and lying to me, but if it’s what you want.”
Delilah pushes herself up, giving me one last look at her gorgeous body before she walks to the door.
“It will just be professional between us. That’s for the best.”
She looks at me as she opens the door, and our eyes lock. Delilah will do this for me, for Lola. I know she understands it deep down, but she might be too wrapped up in the moment.
The door closes, and she’s gone, leaving me in a room that smells like us and the moment we just shared.
“Fuck.” I stand and crack open my window for some fresh air before pacing around my room. Was that the best idea?
Yes. For Lola and Andrew, it has to be done.
It takes a while to fall asleep, since I want so much more with Delilah tonight. I could have gone a few more times with her but I settle for jerking off in the shower instead.
In the late morning, I open the door to voices. I follow them to the kitchen, seeing that the living room is clean as though nothing ever happened.
Delilah is giving Lola a plate with that beautiful smile on her face, and I memorize it.
“Good morning.”
My voice is rough, and I need coffee. I step forward to get some and look away, too pained by Delilah.
My nanny
“Good morning. You played a great game last night.”
Delilah sounds robotic, and I glance at her to see she isn’t looking at me. My daughter calls out for me, and I walk over to pull Lola into my arms.
“Did you see me out there, bug?”
“Daddy skate!”
She wraps her tiny arms around me, and I close my eyes to block everything else out. This is my life. Lola and hockey are my life.
I release her so she can have breakfast, getting my coffee and taking it outside. The sun is shining, and it’s peaceful, with just the sounds of nature around me. I don’t have practice or a game tonight, so maybe I’ll take Lola on a hike to her favorite pond. I fish there sometimes while she wanders around, even wading into the water when she wants to cool off.
It isn’t summer, so that won’t be happening, but it will get us away from this house. I have a feeling things are going to cool down now that I ended things with Delilah.
Delilah agrees easily to my idea but declines when I ask her to join us. She claims to have some errands to run and disappears down the hall as I’m left with Lola. I dress her in hiking clothes, and we head off down the path where she talks about anything and everything.
We talk about the trees and the birds as we have a million times, but I try to focus on the surrounding beauty. When we get to the pond, I remind Lola to stay out of the cold water and she wanders along the shore, picking flowers and talking to the fish.
“This is the life you chose last night. Deal with it.”
I keep my voice low, and I chant my new mantra, but it feels wrong. I love Lola, but can’t I have more than that? The other guys have families and hockey.
They didn’t start things with the wrong woman, more than likely. My situation is so cliché it’s almost laughable.
We’re out there for a couple of hours wandering around, and when Lola has a handful of flowers and yawns a few times, we head back. She tells me she wants to give the flowers to Delilah, making my stomach twist in my body.
Lola goes down for a nap, and I take my phone to the gym so I can see if she wakes up. Delilah has gone out with her car, and I don’t know when she’ll be home.
Did I ruin everything last night?