Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Nick
What the actual fuck just happened?
Leaving Liliana in her bedroom, I paced back and forth in her living room. The furniture, holiday decorations, and other surroundings were lost on me, my mind only seeing her nearly nude. I should have knocked.
Why didn’t I knock?
Her slender form and tiny breasts were the opposite of what I looked for when I sought companionship.
Yet they were permanently imprinted in my brain.
Her long hair flowing over her slim shoulders, the dip of her neck between her collarbones, and the way her nipples darkened as they tightened were images that played on repeat.
She didn’t turn away from me. Fuck no. Liliana turned toward me, strong and proud.
These thoughts were insane.
Liliana was technically my aunt, or she had been.
She was also ten years younger than me.
It wasn’t like we were blood related.
What the fuck?
I needed to adjust my thinking.
Em had mentioned marriage one too many times. There was no way in hell that el Patrón would allow me to marry my uncle’s widow. Why was I even thinking that way?
“I’m ready.”
I spun to find Liliana standing with a suitcase in tow. No longer only in her underwear, she was wearing a pair of jean capris and a soft pink sweater. Her long hair was plaited into a braid, and she wore flat ballet slippers on her feet.
“Liliana, I’m sorry.”
She dismissed me with a shake of her head. “Like I said, it’s the same as wearing a bathing suit.”
“At a topless beach.”
She smiled. “I’m sure you have wars to fight or overseeing to do at Wanderland. You should get me to the apartments so you can get on with your night.”
Shit, Wanderland.
My mind was definitely not in the game.
I checked my phone. No messages. Diego was at Wanderland. If anything was happening that needed my attention, he would have called or messaged. “No news from Em,” I said, putting my phone back in my pocket.
Liliana’s smile faded and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “José and Renata worked for your uncle. Instead of staying in Sacramento with Rei, they followed me here. I don’t want anything to happen to José.”
“The doc at the warehouse can take care of whatever ails you. He’s patched up stab wounds and gunshots. I’m sure José will be fine.” I reached for her suitcase. “Let me help you with that.”
She straightened her neck and looked up at me. “I’m not a child, Nick.”
“Didn’t say you were.” My grip tightened on the handle. “Let’s go.”
Liliana locked her apartment before we walked to the elevator.
I took a moment to look at the line of doorways, separated by artwork and sconces. “This is a great building,” I said. “How did you find it?”
“Mia found it for me. Jano thought it was safe.” She smirked. “Apparently, not safe enough to be on my own.”
The elevator doors opened, saving me from answering. The truth was that I didn’t want anyone else watching over Liliana, especially not a red-blooded soldier. We stepped inside.
“Garage?” she asked, before pushing the G-button.
I nodded.
Once we were to the garage, I led us to my car and put Liliana’s suitcase in the trunk. She settled in the passenger seat. As I sat behind the steering wheel, she remained quiet and stared straight ahead.
“Are we…are we okay?” I asked.
“Fine.”
The small hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention. From my experience with my mom and sister, fine was never fine. “Okay.” I started the car.
Liliana continued her fixation on the windshield as we drove through dark and mostly empty streets.
I tried another subject. “Are you registered for classes in January?”
A smile appeared, if only momentarily. “Sí, they’re basic freshman courses, English and algebra.”
“Algebra?”
“Before Izzy came to help at the apartments, I had trouble with some of Mia’s spreadsheets. I’ve learned a lot from Izzy. I was shocked to know what we were doing was algebra. I even like it.”
“I like you. I always have,” I said.
She turned with a tight-lipped smile. “I like you too. Don’t worry.”
“Worry about what?”
“I’m not going to expose myself to you again.”
“Fuck,” I growled. “You didn’t. I barged in.”
Liliana scoffed. “I know I’m not exactly built like the majority of the residents.”
“Don’t compare yourself to whores.”
“Sex workers.”
“Yeah,” I said, “Sex workers. You’re not like them.”
“I’m not a virgin.”
“Not the same.” I remembered what she’d told me about her parents. “You were married. That doesn’t make you damaged goods or whatever the fuck you said your father told you.”
Liliana inhaled. “Let’s just stop this conversation.”
“I lied to you.”
She whipped her head toward me. “About what?”
“I’m sorry to have intruded on you. I’m not sorry I saw you. You’re a beautiful, strong woman, Liliana. I know you don’t want to be with anyone after Gerardo. Fuck, I don’t blame you. And you and I are…family.”
She nodded.
“But if you ever change your mind…there’s a man out there who would treat you the way you should be treated.”
Swallowing, she nodded. “Let me know when you find him.” She sighed. “Because if José doesn’t get well soon, I’ll be living in the apartments until el Patrón finds me a new bodyguard.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket as at the same time, Liliana’s phone rang from her purse.
Our eyes met, hers round and filled with worry.
I nodded toward her purse.
Her hands trembled as she pulled her phone from the depths and read the screen. “It’s Renata.”
I held my breath.
“Hola,” she said into the phone. Her next word wasn’t really a word, more of a gasp and a sob. “No. No. Lo siento.”
Without thinking, I reached over, placing my hand on her knee.
“Call me when I can help,” she said. “Te amo.” She disconnected the call.
“Fuck, Liliana. I’m sorry.”
I pulled up to the apartments.
Her body trembled with sobs as she lowered her face. Squeezing her knee, I longed to do more. “Liliana.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I need to pull myself together before any of the residents see me.”
“Most of them are at the club.”
“Right. You’re right.”
“I’ll come check on you tomorrow. If you need anything, call me. I’ll drive you.”
“You don’t need to—” She looked up at the building. “I guess this will be my home for a while.”
“I’ll find you a new bodyguard, one I trust.”
“Thank you, but it’s not your responsibility.”
An absurd idea hit me. Before I could give it more thought, I spoke, “Fuck, I have a crazy idea. You can tell me it’s crazy or that I’m crazy.”
She looked up with puffy eyes. “What?”
“Marry me.”
Liliana blinked rapidly. “Definitely crazy. Besides, you’re right. I don’t want to marry again.”
“It won’t be like that.” I let out a long breath. “Ever since Em and Izzy married, he’s been after me to marry. Recently, Jano entered the discussion. Being married makes me more stable. El Patrón’s giving Em and I more responsibility…you get the picture?”
“Nick, I’m sure there are hundreds of women who would say yes.” She scoffed. “Celeste is one.”
“I don’t think el Patrón envisioned his top lieutenant marrying a” —I remembered Liliana’s chastisement— “sex worker.”
“He also didn’t envision you marrying a widow.”
“He did.”
Liliana’s eyes widened. “Not the same. Mia wasn’t married to Jano’s uncle.”
“If I could, Liliana, I’d erase every fucking memory of that pig from your mind.”
She pressed her lips together. “I wish you could.”
“Let me try. Think of it as a marriage of convenience. We marry. We can live in your apartment. You can take your classes and work at the apartments. You won’t be stuck here until another bodyguard is found.” My lips twitched. “I can trust a guard who knows you’re mine.”
“What about…?” She looked down at her lap.
Liliana was hardly a scared virgin. She knew what marriage usually entailed.
“Sex,” I replied. “We can sleep in different bedrooms. It will get Em and Jano off my ass and help you at the same time. We like each other. Only the live-in bodyguard will know our arrangement, and I’ll pay him to wisely keep that information to himself.”
“I’ve been in one loveless marriage.”
“Don’t think of it that way. We have years of friendship. You didn’t have that with Uncle Gerardo.”
“I’m already Liliana Ruiz.”
My cheeks rose. “So you won’t need a new nameplate.”
She shook her head. “This is crazy. El Patrón will never allow it.”
“He will if you tell Mia it’s what you want.”
Liliana turned in the seat to face me. “Nick, don’t you want to marry for love?”
“I don’t want you stuck in a tiny apartment with sex workers day and night. Jano wants me to marry, and honestly, I’m too fucking busy to fall in love.”
She patted my arm. “Talk to me tomorrow. Maybe this is a crazy dream, and we’ll both wake tomorrow with clearer heads.”
“No, Liliana. I thought it was crazy when it popped into my head, but it’s not.
Fuck, you said it yourself. If you would’ve moved back with your parents, you would already be married.
Your family wants you married to a lieutenant.
I’m a lieutenant. I’m not a stranger. I’m not Gerardo. This can be symbolic only.”
“Tomorrow.” She reached for the door handle.
Opening my door, I rushed to the back of the car, lifting her suitcase from the trunk. “Let me walk you to the door.”
“Are you always so nice?”
“I’m not,” I replied honestly. “I’m a killer for the cartel. Few people would call me nice.”
“Then I guess I’m one of the few people.”