Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
TATUM
Iknow Maeve is worried that her brothers said something to me outside, but they were actually nice.
Not that they didn’t still have time to, of course.
They could very well be buttering me up to interrogate me later, but that wouldn’t bother me, anyway.
It’s nice to see how much her family cares about her.
It’s hard to see the privilege you have of people caring about you enough to annoy you with certain things if you’ve never gone without people like that, so I couldn’t blame her for worrying about how things went out there with them.
Blame her for caring about me, in some shape or capacity. That’s what that is, right? If she didn’t care, then why bother worrying whether or not her brothers tried to intimidate me?
I think I ask myself that question a million times as I take a hot shower, which feels so good after a long week of driving. I hadn’t realized the tension in my shoulders and the slight ache in my lower back until now, but at least I had the weekend to rest and relax.
But who was I kidding? I knew there wouldn’t be any form of relaxing, not when it felt like this just being around Maeve now. This anticipation was about to kill me.
As I finish up my shower, I’m quick to dry off and get dressed, eager to see her again.
Eager to see what will happen tonight at dinner, to see what it’s even like to have dinner as a family.
My childhood meals consisted of whatever snacks I could find in the pantry myself, and then ramen noodles when I was old enough to figure out how to use the stove.
Even then, we hardly had food in the house at all.
Settling on jeans and a long-sleeved crewneck, I shove my glasses on and head out to the hall toward her room.
My knuckles rap against her door, three small knocks to let her know I’m ready when she is to head downstairs.
As I go to lean against the wall next to the door, ready to wait for her until she comes out, the door swings open, and Maeve stands on the other side in only a towel.
Her hair is damp, with baby hairs sticking to her neck and forehead, and I try ineptly hard to keep my eyes there.
To not think about how high the towel rests on her thighs.
Holy crap.
She leaves the door open for me as she walks back toward the bathroom, and I have to will my legs to move correctly in order to follow her.
“I just have to get dressed and dry my hair,” she says as she wipes down the fogged-up mirror above the sink, picking at her skin and observing herself for a moment before she turns to look at me.
I clear my throat. “N-no problem.”
As she cracks the door, I keep my distance, taking a careful seat at the edge of her bed. Something in my chest lulls me to look up at the cracked door, peek at her, but I don’t. I keep my eyes trained on my hands fidgeting in my lap.
Theres’s that tension again.
I don’t know if she feels it, but I don’t think I’ve stopped since that kiss.
It’s a lingering…heaviness. Something I know I can never act on, not because I don’t want to, but because I would never be confident enough.
I don’t have it in me to be the guy that makes the first move, that puts himself out there. I just can’t be. I don’t know how.
All I know is that every nerve ending in my body, every fiber of matter that makes me me, is different because of her.
There was the me from before who didn’t know Maeve, and there’s me now, who couldn’t imagine what life was like before I met her.
It’s funny how someone could affect every aspect of your life like that.
“Ready?” Maeve asks, coming out of the bathroom and bringing me back down to Earth.
I swallow, nodding. “Ready.”
My heart thrashes harder with every step down the stairs as I follow Maeve, and my hands start to get clammy, so I rub them on my jeans while no one is watching. The last thing I want is to have sweaty palms in case someone tries to shake my hand again or something.
When we get downstairs, Maeve’s dad and her brothers are sitting in the living room watching a football game, and while I contemplate whether or not to join them, I decide on the latter.
I’ve never been big on sports, and I wouldn’t want to be the awkward guy just standing there in silence because I have no idea how to make conversation.
And it’s scary, of course. Three of the most important men in her life together in one room? I’ll try again later. Maybe.
Instead, I let Maeve guide us into the kitchen, where her mom is hurrying around making dinner. Or prepping for one and cooking another. Maybe she’s prepping for Christmas dinner tomorrow, too. It looks like a tornado tore through the room, really, with dishes and ingredients all over the place.
“Hey, Mom,” Maeve says, sitting on a barstool at the giant island in the middle of the room.
Annalise whirls around with a smile that is an exact copy of Maeve’s, and something about it makes me smile. She wipes her hands on the dish towel thrown over her shoulder before she’s rounding the island and pulling her daughter in for another hug.
“Oh, I’m so happy you’re here,” she mumbles into Maeve’s hair, squeezing her tight before her eyes avert to me, “and I’m happy you’re here, Tatum. Thank you for bringing our daughter all the way here to us.”
“Of course,” I say, just as she lets go of Maeve and takes two steps to me, bringing me in for a hug, too.
I can’t remember the last time I have hugged this much in one day, but it feels nice.
Really nice. Not awkward at all, like it’s weird for me to be here.
I feel…accepted. Annalise has this warm way of talking, like she’s known you all her life.
I’ve always liked being around people who made me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
“Do you need any help?” I offer as she pulls back.
She immediately waves me off, hurrying back around the island to peek at the food inside the oven. “No, no. Sit. You two need to relax.”
I meet Maeve’s eyes for a second, raising my brow in question, but she just smiles. Chewing at the inside of my lip, I stand there for a moment longer before I’m following Annalise around the island and grabbing one of the oven mitts as she goes to pull dinner out.
“Here,” I tell her, “let me.”
She doesn’t argue, just smiles the same smile that Maeve gave me a minute ago, while I pull everything out from the oven to set on the stovetop.
Maeve, thankfully, starts up conversation with her mother to pull the attention away from me, and I listen to the two of them talking as I help Annalise set the table for dinner.
It’s like listening to Maeve talk to herself, really.
They’re so much alike that it makes me almost laugh.
They talk about classes and finals, and I especially listen to Maeve talk about medical school being in the cards for next year.
She’s just waiting to get accepted. And it’s not like I didn’t know that would be a possibility for her, but more so that I ignored it.
I pushed it to the very back of my mind so I could focus on now.
But that’s going to come up again. Next year is going to be here eventually, and…
I hope there’s still an us by then. Even if we’re still just friends.
Even if she decides maybe this isn’t what she wants.
I’ll accept that. I’ll even accept being however far away from each other we are while she’s off at medical school somewhere and I’m…
still in Pennsylvania getting my Master’s degree. I can do that.
I think.
It’ll suck, but I can do it.
Their conversation plays on a loop in my mind as everyone gathers at the table, Maeve sitting next to me, her brothers across from us, and her parents on both ends. It nearly drowns out the talking going on around me, loud in my head, like a reminder. Or an omen.
It isn’t until Maeve nudges me slightly that I remember to pick up my fork and start eating.
Pull it together.
“So, you two go to Cedar Grove together?” Maverick says, sticking a forkful of food into his mouth before he glances up at me expectantly. Not her, just me.
Here we go.
“Yes.” I nod.
“How long have you known each other?” Mateo chimes in.
The bite that was almost to my lips pauses as I swallow before answering. “A few weeks.”
The look the twins share sends a wave of nausea through my gut. Of course it probably seems weird to them. Bringing home a complete stranger, practically, having them stay in your house. Having them drive their sister across the country and back. Oh, God.
“A few weeks?” Maverick snorts, and the sound has me flinching. No, no, no.
Don’t do that, Tate.
Stoic. Calm. Collected.
“Yeah, is that, like, two weeks?” Mateo asks. “Three?”
“Boys,” Annalise warns from across the table.
“What?” Maverick shrugs, eating another bite of his food. I haven’t even gotten to taste mine yet. The questions are being thrown at me at lightning speed. The panic is rushing into my veins before I can suck in a few breaths. “Aren’t you curious about who you’re letting stay in your house, Mom?”
Panic is taking over any ounce of calm that I thought I had. There’s too many questions at once, and it’s too overwhelming. My chest feels tight as my knee starts to bounce, and I’m white-knuckling my fork that still has my bite of food on it.
But then I feel someone’s hand on my knee, and it stills. My head turns slowly to look down at Maeve, and she’s fuming. Her nostrils flare as she glares across the table at her brothers.
Holy crap.
“Do you have something else you’d like to get off your chest, Mav?” she asks calmly, despite her angry exterior. I’ve never seen her angry before.
They both stare at each other silently, and there’s something going on there, but I’m not quite sure what it is. Maverick takes a deep breath, acting nonchalant as he shakes his head and turns his attention back to his plate.
“Nope, nothing.”