Chapter 5
5
HIRO
A bout five or six years ago, I had the opportunity to train with some specialized monks who believed everything the body experienced was in the mind.
Pain, hunger, and fear caused physical responses, but if you could control your mind, you could focus beyond those responses, effectively controlling them and their effect on the human body. It was an incredible experience and I witnessed amazing things, even learning some of the early stages of control, but the insertion of Noelle in my life has wiped that training clean.
I might be able to go days without feeling hunger and I might be able to ignore pain, but right now, in my kitchen, my cock is as hard as it was twenty minutes ago, when Noelle was pumping her hips against my hand and crying her pleasure into my mouth while those generous tits shook with the force of her orgasm.
That’s all the magic I need in my life.
I’ve never understood the concept of blue balls, but the ache in my pants right now is a huge middle finger to all the control I was so proud of seemingly possessing.
I’d be buried deep in that sweet pussy now if I hadn’t seen her eyes droop with exhaustion. When she tucked her knees up and I caught sight of the red burns on her skin from hitting the pavement, anger burned through my chest.
So here I am in the kitchen, keeping an eye on Noelle, who I carried downstairs and tucked up on the couch, in one of my plaid shirts because I wanted something of mine to be touching her, even if I wasn’t.
The little owl in the Christmas scarf is cuddled in her arms and there’s a Christmas movie playing, complete with cute puppies, a horse ranch and not a single explosion to be found at least that I’ve seen so far.
“When do you put up your Christmas tree?” she asks.
I check the security feed on my phone, frustrated that I still haven’t heard anything from office on the guy from the bar. “I don’t.”
Noelle turns, propping her elbow on the arm of the couch as she eyes me incredulously. “What do you mean you don’t?” She waves at the corner near the large fireplace. “That space would be perfect for a huge tree.”
My heart thuds as I look over her rumpled hair and big, blue eyes. God, she’s perfect. “I don’t really do Christmas, Noelle. It’s just me.”
“Well, this year you have me,” she says softly.
A sweet ache fills my chest at her words. “And you want a tree,” I say.
Noelle nods. “I do. It’s only fair seeing as how you kidnapped me and all.” She grins mischievously. “Plus, I’ve always kind of had a fantasy about having sex under a Christmas tree.”
Her words increase the ache in my cock. “How very naughty of you.” I adjust myself. “What would Santa say?”
She lifts the corner of the blanket, inviting me to cuddle up next to her. “I don’t really care what Santa says, as long as you say I’m a very good girl.”
I swallow a moan, sinking into the couch and leaning in to inhale her scent. I need to control myself. She might be flirting, but those dark circles under her eyes tell me she still needs more rest. I settle for a chaste kiss on her cheek. “I hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have a tree here.”
Noelle laughs, pressing pause on the remote. The screen freezes. “I saw plenty of trees outside. Can’t we at least look?”
I glance out the window. “It’s dark outside.”
“What about tomorrow?” She looks so hopeful, there’s no way I can disappoint her.
“We can look tomorrow,” I say.
Noelle practically bounces in her seat. “Really? First thing?”
I hold up a hand. “Slow down, elf. First, we’ll see how you’re feeling. And second, you’re going to eat breakfast before we go outside.”
She nods enthusiastically. “I’ll be feeling fine, I promise.” She links her arm through mine, hugging me to her. “It’s going to be the best Christmas tree ever.”
I arch an eyebrow. “You’re telling me you guys go to a tree stand and get your fancy trees?”
Noelle lays her head on my shoulder. “Not anymore. Now we have designers who decorate whatever house we’re spending the holidays in. There’s a tree in every room, though and they’re beautiful.” She sighs. “But…”
I tilt my head down, seeing her bite her lip. “But what?”
She eases away from me, tucking her hair behind her ear. “But years ago, when we were little, Dad surprised us by taking us to a Christmas tree farm.” She smiles sadly. “It was like something out of a movie. It was so magical. There was hot chocolate with sprinkles and Christmas music and people dressed as elves. It smelled like cedar and fresh snow and there were twinkling lights everywhere. They even had reindeer.”
If they didn’t, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn Mr. Black had flown them in just for the day. He had been a doting father.
“That sounds really nice.”
Noelle smiles up at me, but her eyes are glistening. “It was. We were all together and Baxter and Adelaide were throwing snowballs at each other. Henry got me a little cone of food so I could feed the reindeer and one of them tried to steal my mitten. Daddy rescued it and put me up on his shoulders so I could see which tree was the tallest.”
She sniffs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me this year, but I really miss him.”
I pull her to me and kiss the top of her head. “He was a great man. Of course you miss him. He wouldn’t want you to be unhappy though.”
Noelle’s tiny sniffles send a spear through my chest. “I know. It just hit me the other day that there will never be a Christmas where he’s with us, and when I walk across the stage for graduation, he won’t be there.”
I swallow hard around the knot in my throat. Noelle’s pain is palpable. Henry doesn’t talk about it, but I know he misses his father terribly. I think back to the conversation I had with Henry after the funeral. I clear my throat. “You know I’m a man of science.”
She nods.
“So, I don’t believe in magic, but I believe in facts. And it’s a scientific fact that all matter is made up of energy.”
Noelle is silent but I can tell she’s listening. I smooth the ends of her hair. “Humans are matter. The difference between forms of matter is the way the atoms and molecules fit together, but ultimately, as Einstein said, all matter is energy.”
“Okay,” she says, and I hear the question in her voice. I’ve not shared my beliefs with anyone before and my chest feels a bit tight as I struggle to put my thoughts into words.
“Energy cannot be destroyed. It just changes from one form to another. Your father isn’t gone, Noelle. That energy may be changed, and it doesn’t exist in the way you wish it would, but it’s still somewhere. Some of it is in you, and Henry, and your brothers and sister. I like to think of that energy still existing when I think of my grandfather – and when you walk across that stage in the spring, I want you to think of your father’s energy as being with you and the joy he would experience seeing you accomplish your dreams.”
Noelle is still in my arms, and I fold my lips in, pressing them tight as if I can take back my explanation and wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut.
“That’s really beautiful, Hiro,” she finally says, quietly. “I like that thought.”
I exhale shakily as she snuggles into me, linking my fingers with hers and turns the movie back on. I turn my attention to the television, watching a couple ice skating hand-in-hand and I think about Noelle’s energy. She’s like stardust and even though she’s been here for less than a day, I’ll never be able to be here at the cabin again without being reminded of her.