Chapter 11
Despite the awkward and sexually charged morning, the rest of Nessa’s shift at the teahouse passed by in a blur. It was busy, luckily, so she kept her mind occupied on serving the customers and away from one potent bear shifter lurking behind her at the register.
Kind of.
Every time she thought about the day’s events, specifically the sizzling connection that seemed to constantly flare between them and the feel of Murphy’s big, muscular body pressed against hers, an ache would begin in her core.
Petrified that he’d sniff out her feelings, she would quickly push it from her mind, determined to focus on work.
Unfortunately, that didn’t last long, and after each lull in customers, she’d go right back to that moment in her office.
She’d feel his palm cupping her nape, his cologne invading her senses as his nose brushed against hers.
When he’d leaned down, his brown eyes piercing her straight through the heart, he’d drawn so close, she thought he was going to kiss her.
But that hadn’t been his intention.
Sure, he’d admitted to finding her attractive, and clearly he had a problem with her discussing other men, but that didn’t mean he wanted her, just his bear … But his eyes hadn’t shifted to gold when he’d held her tight, and she was pretty sure that meant his bear wasn’t coercing his actions.
So what did it mean?
Did she want it to mean something?
And if it did, was she even prepared to do anything about it?
She had no idea. Three months ago, she would have said absolutely not!
But after last night, and again this morning?
She couldn’t stop replaying how good it felt to be in his arms, and more importantly, realizing that she wanted to be there.
You’re thinking too much about this.
That was true. She wished she could turn her brain off and stop overanalyzing every single second she’d spent with Murphy since last night.
She was obviously looking for some hidden meaning behind his actions, but that was absurd.
He’d all but admitted earlier he could barely control his bear. She should just leave it at that.
Nessa sighed, shifting in the passenger seat of Murphy’s SUV to stare at the handsome man behind the wheel. She’d just closed up shop for the night and he was taking her back to her house, the quiet drive only giving her more time to fret about everything.
Murphy hadn’t talked much since Jasper left. The entire day, he’d merely sat back and watched her work, apparently content to observe her in her element.
The silence between them should have been unsettling, or at the very least nerve-wracking—Nessa hated silence, and she had never been good at basking in a quiet environment—but something about Murphy’s presence made that quietness easy. She felt comfortable under his watchful gaze.
He hadn’t even lost his cool around any of the humans who’d come in for a cup of tea or a small meal, and she’d honestly worried he might have, given his condition and his hatred of people in general.
“You’re staring,” Murphy commented, his deep, rich voice startling Nessa from her thoughts. He kept his eyes trained straight ahead and his knuckles tight on the steering wheel. “What’s on your mind?”
“Hm? Oh, I was thinking of ordering pizza,” Nessa replied, fighting back the urge to ask him about that ‘almost kiss.’ She might have had the courage to if she wasn’t terrified he’d pin the blame on his bear again.
She didn’t think her ego could handle that.
Besides, if it wasn’t his bear then that just opened up a lot of other scary possibilities.
Perhaps it was better not to hear the answer at all. “Do you like pizza?”
He cocked his head toward her, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’m a bear shifter, Nes. Of course, I like pizza.”
Nessa opened her mouth to respond, and then closed it immediately. Less than a second later, she had to ask, “What does being a bear shifter have to do with enjoying pizza?”
Murphy grunted, and for a split second, she thought he wouldn’t answer her.
“A shifter’s metabolism runs a lot faster than a human’s.
Everything in our body is more advanced—it’s part of what makes us superior.
Because of that, we enjoy foods with high calories and fat content.
Meat is also required for its protein. We’ll indulge in healthier foods, obviously, but it’s not our primary source of nourishment. ”
“And you don’t gain weight or suffer any kind of side-effects from eating like that all the time?”
Shifters didn’t get high cholesterol? Or gout? Nothing?
Now it made sense why she’d found so many sweets tucked away in his pantry. If she could eat whatever she wanted without a care in the world, she’d devour chocolate cake like it was no one’s business.
Murphy grinned, sending her a quick look from the corner of his eye as he turned left onto the main street in town.
Streetlights illuminated the world around them, shining down on the hood of Murphy’s vehicle as he drove.
“Maybe when I’m old and my body falls apart, I’ll have to worry about my health.
But for now? I need to eat a lot to maintain my muscle mass. ”
She bet he did; Murphy looked like a god with all of his heavy muscles, good looks, and brooding aura.
Nessa whistled lowly. “So you guys have better senses. You can shapeshift, look hot, and eat whatever you want?” She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Being a human sucks.”
“I’d have to agree.”
Nessa gasped in mock outrage. “Hey!”
Murphy turned down another street before sending her a curious look. “What?”
Reaching out, she shoved playfully at his shoulder.
He didn’t budge an inch. Her hands stayed on him a moment too long, her fingers curling into his sweater and soaking up his warmth.
As soon as she realized she was basically groping him, she jerked her hand back to her lap, fighting off a blush.
“You’re not allowed to agree with me about it. ”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s like when you bully your siblings,” she explained, ignoring the brief sting of heartache that blossomed as an image of her brother flashed through her mind.
Pulling her phone from her purse, she opened a food delivery app.
“It’s fine if you do it, but if someone else does? It’s unacceptable.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You better.” Quickly, Nessa found the place she was looking for. She clicked on the store’s icon, bringing up the menu. “What kind of pizza do you want?”
The SUV came to a stop right in front of her house. Murphy put it in park, shutting off the engine before turning in his seat to stare at her. “What?”
“I’m ordering dinner.” Nessa waved her phone toward him. “What kind of pizza do you want? And don’t say something ridiculous, like pineapple and anchovies, because while I’m nice on most occasions, I will not order that.”
Murphy studied her, going completely still as if she’d just told him there was a bomb stuck to the bottom of his vehicle. “I didn’t realize we were having dinner together.”
“Oh.” Nessa deflated, dropping her phone onto her lap as her stomach knotted with disappointment.
He didn’t want to stay? It made sense. She shouldn’t have assumed. He’d been with her all day just so he could drop her off home, and he still had an hour’s drive back to his own place before he came back to get her in the morning.
Besides, hadn’t he called her irritating earlier? Maybe he was tired of being around her and needed a break.
She’d heard that line before; all her life, actually.
From her older brother, some friends in high school, and especially Tony.
By the time she’d fled that asshole, he’d already beaten it into her that she was pathetic.
Annoying. She talked too much, and even when she was quiet, apparently, she’d found other ways to drive him mad.
Fidgeting with pens, tapping her fingers on a flat surface to make noise, humming to herself. One time he’d hit her so hard, she’d lost consciousness. Why had he done it?
Because she’d breathed too loudly in his direction. And she’d taken it. God, for so long, until an opportunity for escape had presented itself.
At the memory of Tony, Nessa’s anxiety, which had been completely absent all day, flared back to life. She looked away from Murphy as a tremor slid down her spine.
“Nes?” Murphy’s husky voice floated into the web of anxiety forming in her mind. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she answered, her heart beating hard in her ears. “I guess I just thought … I mean, we haven’t had much food today, so I thought you’d be hungry. You know what?” She reached for the door handle, shaky fingers locking tightly around the cold metal bar. “It’s late. I’ll just be going—”
Murphy’s cologne enveloped her a second before she felt him.
His chest lightly pressed against her back as his arm reached around her, his long, strong fingers wrapping around hers on the handle, keeping her from bolting from the SUV.
His presence invaded her space, closing the distance between them as if it were easy. As if he’d wanted to do it all day and couldn’t resist any longer. It was probably just her imagination running wild, but that thought alone made her feel better all the same.
Instead of feeling trapped or a panic attack clawing its way up her throat as Murphy’s large frame surrounded her, Nessa went lax, taking a shuddering breath.
Her back pressed against his warm, solid chest. She drew more of that pine and sandalwood fragrance into her lungs, tempted to turn in his arms and bury her face in his neck, just so she could drag as much of his cologne in as possible.