Chapter 11 #2
She’d never been so enamored with another man’s scent in her life.
It had to be a mating thing, some cosmic force demanding she find Murphy’s smell sublime.
But she didn’t care. She loved it. She wanted more of it.
The small doses she got throughout the day wouldn’t cut it anymore—she was certain of that, especially when it bulldozed right through her anxiety, as if it were nothing.
“I want to stay for dinner, Nes,” Murphy answered, his voice barely above a whisper as he murmured the words into her ear. His lips brushed against her hair as he spoke, featherlight, and sparks of electricity slid across her skin.
“Really?” Her response was faint, and she swallowed past the lump in her throat as he pressed more fully against her. She could sense him breathing her in. His hand moved from hers and up to her wrist, his thumb sliding delicately over her rapidly beating pulse.
“Come on.” He nuzzled her ear. “Let’s get inside before it gets too cold. I can’t have my human getting sick.”
His human.
Unable to ignore the way her heart flipped in her chest, Nessa nodded. It should have meant nothing; maybe even been offensive. But the words made her feel safe. Protected.
“Istill can’t believe you don’t like toppings on your pizza,” Nessa chided with a shake of her head.
She’d ordered their food a few minutes after they’d come inside, and now they were sitting on the couch in her living room, two large boxes of pizza opened on the coffee table in front of them.
“Well, you banned pineapple and anchovies,” he joked, taking another hearty bite of his last slice. “And I’m fine with toppings, but there’s nothing better than cheese pizza. It’s simple, easy to eat, and delicious.”
She did her best not to stare while he ate, but he hadn’t been lying about shifter eating habits. She’d just watched him put away an entire large cheese pizza all by himself, and by the way he was eyeballing the slices in her own box, she had a feeling he was still starving.
“I’m starting to think I didn’t make you enough spaghetti last night,” she mumbled, taking a bite of her own slice. She barely tasted the pepperoni and sausage, mostly because her attention was on Murphy as his tongue darted out, licking the grease from his upper lip.
Her core spasmed, and she nearly choked on her food, mortified by the sudden desire creeping in. How could she possibly find eating pizza sexy? She had no clue, but she definitely did. Or maybe it was who was eating the pizza.
Murphy licked his lower lip next, and she nearly dropped her slice, feeling too flustered to function properly.
Get a grip on yourself before you look like an idiot.
It wasn’t her fault she felt like a bumbling virgin. Not really. It was his fault for crowding against her in his car tonight, teasing her with his scent and body. For earlier in her office, too, and then this morning near her own car.
Unintentionally, he’d toyed with her, and now that they were alone, with only half a couch cushion separating them, she didn’t know how to act. Yes, it was definitely his fault.
“I appreciated the gesture, regardless.” Murphy groaned, and her thighs clenched as he leaned back against the couch cushions, a hand rubbing over his flat, sweater-clad stomach. “It’s been a long time since someone cooked for me.”
She couldn’t help but stare as his fingers slid over the ridges of what she could only assume were sculpted abdominal muscles hidden beneath his clothing. Did he have a six-pack? Eight? What about a drool-worthy V-shape right below?
She bet he did.
How perfect would his body be if she ever saw it without being delirious from blood loss? She hated that she didn’t remember how he’d looked the one time she’d had a chance to witness him in all of his glory. She knew he was well-built, but aside from that, it was all a blank in her mind.
It’s for the best. His drool-worthy abs are not for you! You’re just friends, remember?
Yeah, except she didn’t feel like Murphy’s friend at all. She felt like—
“Nessa? Are you listening?”
Nessa’s eyes snapped up from his stomach and to his face, her cheeks heating when their gazes collided.
Oh, great. Not only was she lusting after him, he’d caught her ogling him like a piece of meat. Fantastic. “Ah, no. Sorry.”
Murphy smirked. “I said that it’s been a long time since someone took the time to cook me a meal.”
“Really? But aren’t shifter families supposed to be really close? I figured family dinners would be a regular thing.” At least, that’s how it seemed in her books. But given that those were romance novels and not works of non-fiction, she wasn’t sure how much to believe.
A lot of it’s been pretty accurate so far, though, she mused. Kind of surprising, really. Maybe shifters had written some of them. She almost smiled at the thought.
“Yes, and bear clans are notorious for their closeness. My mom used to cook dinner for my dad, brothers and I once a week. We’d all gather together at their place and spend some quality time with each other.
Go over our week; unwind. But my dad and twin brothers have been away for a while now, and family dinners are scarce. ”
“That’s kind of sad,” Nessa replied softly, putting the crust of her pizza back into the box. She grabbed a napkin, cleaning off her hands. “Can I ask where your dad and brothers are?”
“Out of state.” Murphy’s expression turned somber. “They are handling some business for me with another bear clan. Reece, one of the twins, witnessed a human woman being assaulted …” He trailed off, running a hand down his face as if he’d suddenly grown weary.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, Murphy,” Nessa told him gently, her fingers itching to reach out and take his hand. She didn’t want to bring up a distressing topic for him.
He dropped his hand, his eyes softening as they landed on her again. “It’s not that,” he admitted, his voice gruff. “I don’t want to say something that will remind you of your past. I don’t know much about it, but I can read between the lines.”
“Oh.” Nessa’s heart fluttered wildly in her chest, taken aback by his blatant consideration of her feelings. She swallowed thickly, sending him a small, hopefully reassuring smile. “I’d like to hear about your family, even the less flattering parts.”
“Reece has always had a volatile relationship with his bear,” Murphy began, sitting up from his previous lax position.
He turned toward her, and his knee brushed against hers.
She tried to focus on what he was saying.
Get a hold of yourself! “It’s difficult for him to keep his more animalistic instincts at bay, especially during high-stress situations. ”
“Like witnessing someone being abused,” Nessa chimed in, shifting until she was facing him, her legs tucked under her.
She leaned against the back cushion, studying the details of Murphy’s face.
She hadn’t noticed before, but he had small freckles littering his nose, and two more just under his right eye.
“Yes.” Murphy’s palm landed on her thigh, heat at his touch suddenly seeping through her jeans and practically singeing her skin. Her attention wavered from his story as her heart skipped a beat, excitement racing through her at the connection.
It’s not a big deal. Friends touch.
“Reece was going on a jog when he came upon a man hitting a woman. He shifted, ripped the man apart right in front of the woman,” Murphy stated casually.
Nessa blinked at him, having a difficult time correlating his words with his nonchalant demeanor. “Is that … normal?”
Murphy snorted, and some of the somberness left his eyes as they crinkled with humor. “No, Nes. Mauling a human to death is not normal for shifters. There’s a reason we’ve never been discovered. We keep a low profile, stick to ourselves, and we never shift in front of humans.”
“What happened to your brother after that?”
“The human woman agreed to keep his secret and told the police a bear had attacked and killed him. It should have ended there, but Reece’s bear refuses to leave the area; it’s connected itself to the woman, seeing itself as her protector.
And since my brother can’t control his baser instincts enough to combat his counterpart, he’s been stalking her. ”
“As a bear?”
“Not always. At least, I assume he’s in his human form for most of it. It’s a complicated situation, but we’re hoping that eventually his bear will lose its protective urges toward the human and come home.”
“And your dad and other brother are staying with him?”
Murphy nodded. “To keep him safe, yes. I’d hoped I could use my dominance to order him home, but he’s nearly as dominant as I am, and it didn’t work.”
“Wow,” Nessa breathed. “That must be a lot to deal with, on top of everything else.”
“I’ve been responsible for my bear clan for the last fifteen years. I’m used to dealing with anything that gets tossed my way. Hazard of the job.”
“Do you like it? Being an Alpha?”
She loved owning her own store and being responsible for it, but she didn’t think she’d ever enjoy having employees to manage. Luckily, operating her business in a small town made it easy to handle everything herself. Even if she did have a hard time abiding by her own schedule.
Hiring a few people would make her life easier, though …
Murphy was silent for a moment, and then he released a deep breath. “I do. It’s draining, but I enjoy taking care of my family and my clan. As a dominant shifter, it’s ingrained in me to be of use. To be needed. Being the Alpha fulfills that longing.”
“That’s nice,” Nessa replied, biting her lower lip as a morose thought intruded.
Murphy squeezed her thigh gently, reading her easily. “What are you thinking?”
Before she could think better of it, Nessa asked, “If you’re running yourself ragged to take care of everyone around you then who’s taking care of you, Murphy?”
Why had he felt like he couldn’t lean on his family these last two months while he was unwell? He’d been suffering alone, and the thought broke her heart.
Did he always deal with his problems by himself? Did he have no one to rely on when he felt overwhelmed by his job or just needed to vent? Why should he have to take on all the responsibility alone?
He had to have someone, right?
Me! It should be me, a voice screamed in her head, demanding that she take action and do something.
Murphy’s fingers tightened on her thigh, and he looked lost as he answered gruffly, “No one. But it’s fine. I’m fine.” He shoved himself to his feet abruptly, towering over her. “It’s late. I should go.”
“Oh.” Nessa cleared her throat, standing up, too. “Right. I’ll walk you out.”
Her mind was reeling as she followed a now silent Murphy into the hall and toward her front door. He opened the door, murmuring farewell as he stepped over the threshold and out into the night.
He’d just made it down the steps of her porch before she nervously blurted out, “Murphy!”
Well, actually, she practically screamed his name, so loudly it echoed down the street. She flushed, grabbing her doorknob like a lifeline to keep from slamming it closed just to cover up the embarrassed look no doubt plastered on her face.
He swung around, scanning the area warily before sending her a curious look, his dark gaze penetrating her very being. “What is it?”
“I’d—I mean, I’d … I could—” Nessa’s tongue felt swollen in her mouth, the words heavy and difficult to get out. Finally, she managed a frantic, “I’d like to be the one. T-To take care of you. You know, I mean, if that’s cool with you.”
As soon as she shut her mouth, she wished the world would open up under her and suck her inside it just to escape the shocked look on Murphy’s face.
‘If that’s cool with you?’ Who the hell says that? Someone from 2015? What will I do next? Blast him some finger guns and then a wink?
She felt lightheaded as the seconds ticked by in absolute silence between them. And not the comfortable silence from earlier, either. No, this was oppressive, and bleak, and embarrassing.
Why wasn’t he answering?
He was probably horrified by her offer. She was horrified by it. What the hell did she even mean? Why had she said it? ‘Take care’ could mean anything! What if he thought she was offering to have sex with him to take the edge off when he was frustrated with work?
She didn’t think her face could heat any further.
Another second ticked by, and then another, each one feeling like it was an hour.
She couldn’t stand the quiet any longer.
“Okay, goodnight,” she choked out, slamming the door closed. She thumped her head against it, stifling a small groan of despair.
Did she have any wine in the fridge? God, she hoped so.