Chapter 26
Nessa led Murphy into the shower, her pulse fluttering wildly and her mouth dry from nerves. It had been years since she’d seen a naked man, and this wasn’t just anyone; this was Murphy.
Her mate.
And damn, he looked good.
She’d suspected he was fairly muscular beneath his clothes, but those sweaters did more than just conceal the scars he loathed so much; they hid the perfection of his chiseled physique.
Ugh, that sounds so cheesy.
But it was true. There was literally no other way to describe Murphy, and it broke her heart that he couldn’t see himself through her eyes. She understood his reservations, though.
When he’d first taken his shirt off, revealing so many jagged lines and small, various burn marks, they’d been overwhelming. She’d wanted to cry, to weep for the horror he’d obviously gone through all those years ago.
What kind of depraved person could inflict such harm on another being? And to know that it was Murphy who’d endured such despicable treatment—well, that nearly had her face crumbling with emotion.
But she’d kept herself in check, determined to be what he needed in the moment. Someone strong. Someone who saw him—not what he’d endured. Besides, what good would those tears do for him? Nothing! And he’d probably misinterpret them, thinking she found a fault with him when she didn’t.
Murphy was everything she could have ever wanted, and while he didn’t believe it, she thought his body was a work of art. Even the scars marring his otherwise smooth skin couldn’t take away from the fact he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen.
His wide shoulders were well-defined, as were his biceps and forearms. His light dusting of dark chest hair only added to his appearance, even though it covered some of his sexy chest from view.
Nessa had barely refrained from drooling. It had been hard—especially as her gaze slid down his abs, tracing that tantalizing V of his hips and working its way down.
And his cock … Wow.
That’s all she could think; wow. It was like her brain had short-circuited as soon as she’d seen it. She was surprised her mouth hadn’t dropped open in both shock and glee when he’d taken his jeans off, revealing his hard, and deliciously long, shaft.
Given that Murphy was really tall, she should have expected he’d be proportionate everywhere, but it hadn’t even occurred to her that he’d be big.
Well, he definitely was.
That thing could probably knock someone unconscious if he slapped them around with it.
Nessa smiled to herself, struggling to keep from laughing at the mental image. As she took another step into the stall, the cold tile beneath her feet helped to ground her back to reality. Murphy hurried in behind her, filling up all the remaining space in the small room.
“Are you fine if I close the door?” He pointed to the frosted glass door over his shoulder, his long, stiff cock standing at attention between them.
She quirked her brow at him in confusion, doing her best to not look down. It was really difficult. Distracting herself, she quipped, “Do you not close the stall door at your place? Or, like, use a shower curtain? Your bathroom floor must get messy.”
He sent her a look she could only describe as sassy, and his cock twitched, almost as if it were begging for her to touch it. She wanted to, but this was already such a big step. Getting ahead of herself, pushing herself past her limits, wasn’t a smart idea.
Murphy was fantastic at making her forget her demons, but what if being in an enclosed space with him, naked and vulnerable, triggered a bad memory?
She tensed.
Was this a mistake?
“I can always clean the floor up afterward,” Murphy offered amicably, lingering just at the doorway of the stall, a few scant feet from her.
Clean it up afterward? Why does he—
Suddenly, Nessa understood why he’d asked about closing the door, and why he was trying to give her so much space.
He didn’t want her to feel trapped.
Her chest constricted, gratitude clogging her throat. He really was perfect for her, and that truth helped her relax. “You can close it, Murphy. I’m sure.”
She held out a steady hand for him, letting out a small breath when he took it, his warm palm enveloping hers. Stepping fully into the shower, Murphy’s body brushed against hers, the tip of his cock sliding against her lower belly.
Nessa tried to keep her expression neutral, but a flare of giddiness and desire swept over her.
That feels … nice.
More than a little nice, actually. It felt freaking exhilarating.
Seeing the physical evidence of Murphy’s lust fueled her own, and her core spasmed, already aching for another orgasm.
She glanced down between them, her lips parting slightly at the thick tip pressed against her stomach. A drop of precum glistened from the tip, drawing her attention.
What if she slid her thumb over his cockhead, coating it in his cum? She licked her lips. She could almost taste him, could almost feel him filling her mouth, sliding his shaft down her throat until he hit the back of it.
She could picture it now; getting on her knees for Murphy. Cradling his balls while she stroked his shaft, laving at his tip with teasing licks as she stared up at him, wholly devoted to making him come undone.
Her nipples tightened into stiff peaks.
He’d look down at her with a dark, hungry look in his eyes. She could practically feel his fingers in her hair, holding her head to him as he lost himself to passion, thrusting into her mouth.
“Sorry, I can turn the other way,” Murphy offered gruffly, closing the door behind him. His voice shook her from her thoughts, and she blushed, looking away from his groin before he noticed how focused she’d been on it.
“No, don’t. I-It’s fine,” she told him, standing completely still so they remained touching. Definitely fine.
Despite her best efforts, her gaze tracked back down his body, stopping on the stiff length between them. God, he was huge. Why was that so intimidating and so sexy all at once?
“Are you going to turn the shower on, Nes?” Laughter filled Murphy’s voice.
Her head snapped up, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.
Oh, no. He’d just caught her ogling him like a piece of meat. Like a sinful piece of delicious—
“Nessa,” Murphy drawled, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk. “Does something have you distracted?”
“Hm?” She blinked up at him innocently. “Me? Distracted? Not at all.”
Just then, his cock flexed against her belly. Nessa jerked in surprise, making a choked noise low in her throat.
Murphy snorted. “You’re a terrible liar, sweetheart.”
Her heart fluttered at the nickname. He’d said it earlier, while he’d been giving her an amazing orgasm. She loved it, especially how effortless it sounded from his lips.
“You’re staring at it again,” he commented lightly.
Nessa rolled her eyes, forcing herself to look back up at his face. “No, I’m not.”
Okay, she had been. Sue her.
Shaking his head in amusement, Murphy leaned forward, grabbing the shower handle and turning it on.
Cold water hit Nessa’s side, and she yelped, shivering immediately. “That’s so cold!”
Grunting, Murphy grabbed her biceps, turning them both so that the spray hit him right in the back, his large frame blocking the icy water from her body. He pressed fully against her, his warmth enveloping her as she finally felt him; skin to skin.
Nessa’s breath caught, the sensation of him all over her like an aphrodisiac she hadn’t expected.
Despite the cold water dripping down her side, she felt hot, an unbearable ache building in her pussy that only Murphy could sate.
Her heart pounded, and even her clit throbbed, her growing anticipation too heady to ignore.
Biting her lower lip, Nessa’s gaze danced up his body appreciatively. She grabbed onto his forearms, needing him to keep her grounded. Finally, she looked up, the back of her head grazing the wall as their eyes connected.
“Better?” Murphy rasped, his eyes heavy-lidded with desire as they swept over her face. He stepped closer, and her nipples brushed against his torso, sending a bolt of pleasure straight to her core.
“Hm. Yep. So much better,” she answered faintly, her fingers trembling as they moved up and down his forearms, hyperaware of the uneven skin sliding beneath her palms. She didn’t mind the sensation at all; it just felt like him. And he felt perfect.
“Nessa, I meant the water,” he said, his lips twitching. “Is this better until it warms up?”
Warms up? It was already sweltering in here, especially when she arched into him ever so slightly, rubbing against him like a cat in heat. Did he notice?
“Nes.”
“What?” She furrowed her brow. What had he been saying? “Oh. Yeah.”
Murphy leaned down, his nose brushing against hers, his mouth so close all she’d need to do was push up onto her toes to kiss him. He cupped her jaw, his fingers spanning the side of her neck as his thumb caressed her cheek.
“I can smell your arousal, little mate,” he rumbled possessively. “Are you needing my mouth on you again?”
Oh—
She didn’t need just his mouth. She needed all of him. Wanted to feel his cock inside her, wanted to feel him holding her close as he pumped into her body. She wanted him to claim her, to bite her and mark her as his.
Maybe it was too soon. But hadn’t she already deprived herself of him for months? She’d denied her connection to Murphy, denied wanting him. She didn’t want to hold back anymore.
Nessa took a shaky breath. “I-I—” The words stuck in her throat, and she let out a small whimper of defeat, her shoulders slumping.
God, how could she be ready for sex when she couldn’t even ask for it?
Her chin wobbled, and she looked down, squeezing her eyes shut to keep from crying.
Murphy’s fingers tightened on her ever so slightly, and then he kissed her forehead, his mouth lingering there a moment. “I’m excited to wash your hair,” he said softly.
She swallowed thickly, relieved for the change in subject. “You are?”
“Yeah. I love playing with your hair, Nes. It’s always so soft,” he murmured, kissing her again. “You ready?”
Mutely, she nodded, letting him turn her back toward the showerhead. Warm water slid over her head, cascading down her body like a waterfall. Keeping her eyes shut, she remained still, listening as Murphy grabbed a bottle from the shelf.
The lid cracked open, and he inhaled. “Normally I’m not fond of products with scents, but this is subtle enough that it doesn’t aggravate my nose. Plus, it compliments your own scent.”
The showerhead squeaked as Murphy adjusted it, and the spray moved to hit the wall beside her.
“What do I smell like?”
“Like berries and the faintest hint of vanilla,” Murphy said, sliding his hands into her hair. They were cool from the shampoo, and he began lathering it into her hair. “When we mate, our scents will mix, so you’ll smell like me, too.”
She perked up at that, some of her self-imposed misery fading away.
She was surprised that hadn’t already happened, considering she smelled him everywhere she went. Still, now she never had to worry about it dissipating. She smiled, staring down at the floor. “That’ll be nice.”
Her lashes fluttered open as his hands worked over her hair, massaging her scalp. She bit back a moan as sparks of sensation slid down her spine.
“It’s a bear shifter trait that happens when we mate. I wish your scent could embed itself into my skin, too, so I could have a piece of you with me when we’re apart. Now, close your eyes.”
He wanted a piece of her to keep with him? Her heart clenched, the rest of her doubts disappearing.
Murphy angled the showerhead again when she did as he instructed. Water hit the top of her head, and he began rinsing her hair. She heard him reach for the conditioner once he’d finished, beginning the process all over again.
When he was through, she opened her eyes, craning her head back. Their gazes met and held, the deep brown of his irises so alluring she could get lost in them forever.
She could get lost in him forever. And she was determined to.
Murphy cupped her face, leaning in slowly, giving her a chance to move back if she wanted. Instead, she reached up, her palms resting on his bare chest. His lips brushed hers, a featherlight caress that she felt everywhere. “Will you let me wash your body, Nes?”
Heat blazed a path from her heart to her core, slick dampening her inner thighs and reminding her of exactly what she wanted. Her body was so alive in Murphy’s presence, every fiber of her being called out for him, desperate for him.
She could do this.
Nessa took a deep, steady breath. “I want you to pin me against this wall and fuck me.”