CHAPTER 41 #2
“And you kept going, blaming everyone but yourself. Profiting from telling the stories of people’s crimes as a criminal yourself,” Immi continues.
I lose track of who she’s talking to. Desperation aches within me.
I search wildly but there’s nothing I can do.
I kick again, leaning forward as the chains buckle and drag me back down to the floor.
Jude’s sudden gasp draws my attention to the glistening of the knife blade catching the light.
“Jude, it’s OK,” I say, but we both know it’s not.
“Not once did you apologise. Not once did you contact my family. But you visited Henry often enough.” Immi speaks, but I can’t focus on her. I have to focus on Jude, I have to save her.
Jude’s shoulders shake between silent sobs. I try again to reach her, only to find my body twisting, slamming forward into the ground. My shoulder connects with a sharp snap.
“It was Henry, OK? It was all Henry. I didn’t stop it, I know that. But I don’t know what happened in the manor that night.” The words tumble out. I’m there again, clinging to consciousness as I watch Henry retreating back into the house.
I have to save Jude from the inevitable.
Dark angry eyes blink back at me.
“I know all about Henry’s lies. He got his justice,” Immi says.
“I don’t know what he told you. But think about it, Immi.
I was fifteen. I barely knew what I was doing.
Robbie knew that, he tried to stop me and Henry from dating, but he went up against the wrong person.
Henry, well, he got angry. He didn’t want us to stop.
” The words sting my throat, emotion rising quickly. This was all over something so stupid.
“What a feeble excuse for murder. I suppose it’s no better than what mine will be.” Immi tilts her head. The knife dragging inches from Jude’s neck. “When I’m finished with you, you’ll be the woman who killed her best friend.” Immi laughs in an uncontrollable outburst.
“Please, let her go,” I say, or I think I say.
There’s no air left. Time seems to slow.
I grasp for anything to make it stop. The words slide over Immi as she draws her head slowly down to Jude’s tear-streaked cheek.
In any other context, it might be considered kind, the way Immi leans in and whispers gently.
Instead, it draws bile up my throat. Jude’s eyes widen.
I won’t look away. There’s a sound coming from me, hopeless and loud.
It does nothing. Jude shakes her head. Her body buckles under Immi’s grasp as tears roll down her face.
Jude whispers a yes. A simple reply to Immi.
“What did she say?” My voice is somewhere beyond me, hoarse and desperate.
Immi only smiles. A sickening, horrible smile.
“Wait, what?” Hot spikes of adrenaline prickle my skin. “What is she saying, Jude? Immi, stop this! OK? Stop it! I’ll do whatever you want.”
My body is on fire. I scramble again to find myself moving nowhere. Jude doesn’t deserve to get caught up in all of this. She’s the kindest person. The person who picked me up when I had nothing and no one. I lurch forward. I can’t lose her.
“She’s a good person, Immi. She fucked up but she’s a good person.” Jude’s voice cracks, heavy with emotion. I watch as she drives herself further away, dirty nails clawing at the ground beneath her.
“Immi, stop.” My words are empty against their whispered conversation.
“Good people don’t do what she did.” Immi keeps her eyes on mine.
“Stop, Immi. Sto–”
My words linger.
The blade glints as it makes the short distance across Jude’s taut neck.
Jude’s shoulders arch back. A sharp inhale following.
Bright blood spills. Down Jude’s top. Across her shoulder blades.
Down her arms. I want to look away. But I don’t.
I scramble. Heart flickering. There’s nothing I can do to prevent this.
“Jude, I love you.”
I look at her. Her eyes are wide. Scared.
“Know that you changed my life. That you’re smart and kind.
That you inspired me. That you’re a magnet that draws so many to you.
That even though you never had children, you were my family.
It was you who saved me.” My words are lost to sobs.
Immi’s laughter breaks over the top of us.
There’s a horrifying choking gurgle coming from Jude.
I won’t look away. I push my hands into the ground.
I lean towards Jude. I need to touch her.
“Please…” The tears come fast. Jude’s eyes roam.
“Good people don’t let others die and do nothing, Jude.” Immi looks across at me.
Jude’s dying.
“I fucked up, I’m sorry. I should have gone to the police,” I say, but I’m not sure who it’s for.
“Jude.” I think I say her name, or maybe it’s only noise. I steady my eyes on Jude’s. I make myself remember every part of it. Bile rises but I swallow it down. I know I’m saying words, there are screams, there are sounds, but I can’t hear it. All I can see is Jude. Jude’s eyes.
Immi laughs again. She speaks.
Then she pushes Jude to the ground, throwing her towards me. She’s limp, already. That can’t be right. Won’t it take time? We have to have time. I drag myself forward as much as the chains allow. Jude’s paling, her eyes losing focus.
“Jude.” I can hear my voice again, it’s thick with tears.
Immi turns, dropping the knife by the door where it splatters blood. The only sound left is our breathing.
“Jude,” I say, “sweetheart. It’s alright. It’s going to be alright.”
Her tears are mingling with her blood, and she opens her mouth to speak. I lean forward, her breath warm in my ear.
And I listen desperately. She’s the only thing I have.
Jude made it all. From the moment I landed this side of London.
She scooped me up and kept me warm. She pushed me to get a better job and encouraged me to start a podcast. She listened when I moaned about Rufus.
She held me when I found out what he’d done.
She is everything. I breathe deep into the sobs that crawl up my throat, not letting her die to the sound of my sadness.
“It’s OK, Jude. God, I’m sorry. But we’ll get help. I love you. I’m sorry.”
I mutter gentle words until the only sound left in the room is me. I know when I look at her face, she’ll be gone. So I don’t. I cradle her head and tell her about the best friend I’ve ever had.