Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
BLAKE
This has got to be the hottest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
After that night, I shied away from any intimacy, not only because I was busy dealing with the trauma and raising my son but because the thought of being in that position again was too much for me.
But once again, Theo broke down all those walls without even trying.
Is it because I already have a past with him?
Because I know deep down I can trust that he wouldn’t do anything to me I wouldn’t like, and if I told him to stop, he would?
All I know is that this turnaround in sexual control is the most empowering thing I’ve ever done—the way my needy Viking is on his knees, giving me all the freedom to decide what happens next.
And the added tattoos and piercings? Theo’s quite literally the hottest man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Like he’s my own personal dream come to life.
I don’t have much time to think as his head descends on my pussy again, eating me out as I demanded. Goddamn, his tongue’s amazing. I hold onto his shoulders again, gripping tightly as my eyes roll into the back of my head from how good it feels.
His tongue swipes across my clit, drawing a moan from my lips as he inserts a finger into my eager pussy and thrusts gently. I need more though. I need him to hit that spot deep inside of me.
“Harder, Theo. Give me what I want,” I command, my voice not sounding like my own with the amount of lust smothering it. I’m so desperate to come again, so very nearly there.
He chuckles as he inserts another finger and twists. I gasp. He knew what he was doing; he was waiting for me to tell him.
Bastard.
My hips move faster, soaking him with my wetness. My breathing becomes labored, my chest heaving up and down as he moves his fingers faster and harder, just the way I need him to.
I come with a scream, my body jerking as he ruins me. My hips shift toward him, wringing out every last ounce of pleasure, before I push at his shoulders and drop my shaky leg back down to the floor.
Theo sits there in a submissive pose, his cock red and angry, the veins popping out with his desire. I lick my lips, my breathing still heavy and my pussy still clenching around air.
“On the bed, big guy.”
He scrambles up from the floor, races to the bed, and jumps on it. He lies on his back without even having to be told, and I smile as I join him, climbing onto the bed and moving up his body.
His cock stands proud, teasing me with how it juts out from his body. My eyes home in on the piercings glistening with his movements.
Jesus, is there anything else he’s got pierced that I don’t know about?
Eager to see what they feel like in my mouth, I place both hands on either side of his body and lean down to engulf the tip, my tongue tracing along his veins and the balls of the Jacobs Ladder.
Theo moans, grabbing handfuls of my hair, pushing me down, and almost gagging me. I love everything about this moment—the way his head’s tilted back, his jaw’s clenched, and his toes curl. I did this. Me.
I smile around his length, bobbing up and down before gently gripping his balls in my hand and rolling them around.
“Fuck, Blake. You keep that up, and I’m going to come down your throat,” he grits out, hands clenching tighter in my hair, almost like he doesn’t want me to stop.
Chuckling, I release him from my mouth and climb up his body to sit on his lap. “Condom?” I ask.
“I’m clean,” he replies seriously. “I want to feel every inch of your cunt wrapped around me, but if you’d rather we use one, that’s fine.”
I lift my hips, take his cock in my hand, and guide him to my entrance before sinking, oh so slowly, down.
“I’ll take that as a no to the condom, then,” he chokes out, hands gripping my hips like a vice.
“Not there,” I reply before grabbing his hands and placing them on my boobs. They’ve always been sensitive, and I want him to touch them while I ride the fuck out of him.
“Yeeees,” he hisses through clenched teeth.
Rolling my hips, I find my rhythm, slowly moving backward and forward, my eyes on Theo at all times. His gaze meets mine, but neither of us looks away. If anything, having him looking at me, his pupils blown wide with lust, makes me all the more desperate for him.
He thrusts up under me, hitting exactly where I need him to, as he tweaks and pinches my nipples. My hand automatically reaches down to my clit, the wetness from my earlier orgasm making it easy to glide across.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he whispers in awe as he watches me ride him. His eyes dart everywhere, not sure where to land—his dick, my hand on my clit, or my breasts.
“You’re gonna come for me like a good boy,” I coo breathlessly, needing him to finish with me. I’m so close to falling over the edge, I need him with me.
“Yes!” he exclaims, eyes drooping shut for a moment before he forces them back open, not wanting to miss a second.
We’re both slick with sweat, our bodies slapping together only making it hotter between us. He fucks up into me harder, faster, and matches me as I move my hips, groaning and grunting in perfect rhythm.
One last swipe of my clit has me screaming, “Theo!”
He explodes with a roar, filling me up with his cum, his movements just as jerky as my own as we both ride out our climaxes. I immediately flop against his chest, my body completely satiated and unable to move.
We lie there, both breathing heavily, his arms wrapping around to pull me closer to him. I can feel his cum leaking out, but I don’t have the energy to care. He’s given me another thing I didn’t know I needed—control during sex. Something to know going forward with any future partners.
I freeze, the thought making me feel sick.
Theo must sense my unease as he wraps me tighter. “It’s okay, firefly, I’m right here.”
Is this a mistake, trying to have a relationship with him when it could all go horribly wrong? What if Oscar gets caught up in this too?
I heave a sigh, my head a mess of confusion. Theo gently shifts out from underneath me, and I roll onto my side, watching as he goes to the bathroom. I need to leave. I need to get out of here and think.
Climbing out of bed, I search for my clothes and put them on quickly. If I’m going to have this conversation with him, I need to be fully dressed.
Hands wrap around my waist as a whispered, “Oh no, you don’t,” sounds in my ear. “I’m the one who spirals, not you.”
I turn in his arms. “I’m sorry. I just… I need space to breathe.
This is all so much, and I don’t know what to think.
Up until recently, you hated me, and now with you knowing about Oscar and…
that”—I point to the rumpled sheets—“it’s all gotten so complicated.
” I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
He cups my cheek, tilting my face toward him.
“It’s only as complicated as you want to make it.
I want this to work. I want to see where we go from here…
as a family. Let me prove to you I’m not going to fail you again.
” He kisses me softly, and I melt into him, clutching at his arms for support. “Please,” he adds, drawing back.
“Okay,” I finally manage to say, “but I really do need to leave. Oscar’s with Mrs. Mitchell and I need to rescue her.”
“How about I take you both out for dinner?” he asks, kissing my forehead. “If I stay here by myself, I’ll only panic that you’re going to change your mind.”
My gaze darts to his face, and I can see he’s really anxious. “I’m sorry I made you worry. It’s just a lot, you know,” I reply with a shrug, then add, “But yes, we’d love to have dinner with you.”
Theo kisses me again and goes to get dressed, leaving me to figure out whether I’m going to throw everything I have into this relationship or remove myself from it entirely.
Both Oscar and I laughed more tonight than we have in a long time.
After picking up a very excited nine-year-old, Theo drove us to Nova’s, a little Italian restaurant in the city.
I fell in love with the rustic feel to it the moment we walked in.
Red-checkered tablecloths lined the tables, with low lighting making the place look romantic, along with memorabilia from Italy and the smell of good cooking.
I was taken aback by the elderly couple who came charging out to meet Theo and began talking animatedly to him.
I laughed as he blushed and apologized for not having been in for a while.
Oscar sits opposite us, talking non-stop to his dad while I relax and watch. My heart is full, and so is my stomach after consuming way too much pasta and garlic bread.
His hand lands on my thigh, and I grip it tightly.
Earlier, I think I was afraid to face how much I still love him and how much I fear he’ll leave again.
My worry isn’t as intense as his, but it hasn’t vanished either.
He’s only ever given, he’s never taken from me, and I have to start believing in him when he tells me he’s not going anywhere again.
Theo is such a gentle soul, one who deserves absolutely everything, and I want to give him that.
I want to give him the stability I know he’s so desperate for. That we’re both so desperate for.
Oscar’s friend from school arrives with his parents and asks to go over. I agree, keeping one eye on him as I murmur to Theo, “I didn’t think you wanted a family.”
He sighs heavily. “Honestly? I didn’t think I did either until you guys showed up.
I’m so terrified of ending up like my mom and stepdad that I’ve shied away from it, especially after what happened with us.
But now? I can’t unsee it. Having a child is the unconditional love I’ve always needed but never knew. Does that make sense?”
I squeeze his hand gently, offering him a warm smile. “It makes complete sense. After everything that happened to me, Oscar was the one thing that kept me going. Without him, I don’t know where I’d be. It's funny how having a child can change your entire outlook on life,” I muse.
“Absolutely,” he agrees. “I’ve never put so much work into trying to heal myself as I have since you guys walked back into my life. I feel like things are finally turning around for me.”
“I’m glad,” I reply, smiling softly. “I’m sorry about my freakout earlier. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I think it was a very intense moment for both of us, one I’d like to repeat again and again”—my thighs immediately press together at his words, wanting that too—“so it was no surprise. I just hope you’ve had the time you need to figure it all out?
If not, I can step back for a while. Only see Oscar if it’ll help?
” His doe eyes tell me that’s the last thing he would want, and to be honest, I don’t like the idea either. It makes my heart hurt all over again.
“I think a therapist would have a field day with us, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I had attachment issues like you, but no. I don’t want any space from you. I don’t think I could bear it,” I whisper.
“Then let’s keep going as we are—spend time together as a family while keeping it quiet and see how we go. There’s no pressure, but be warned, Blake, I don’t plan on walking away from you… ever.”
I think I’m okay with that.