Chapter 32
Driven to clear his name,Booker spent the flight working on his pitch to the Marchaud family.
This meeting was his last shot, and he had to nail it. He had to find a way to speak the truth without using derogatory language toward Marcus. It was critical to lead with the facts and not emotion. He’d share his perspective on agenting and why some of his most successful athletes chose to leave the bigger firms for the more advisory role he offered.
After that, he’d leave the decision in their hands.
He had a good argument. He felt confident.
And yet, nothing felt right. The seat was uncomfortable, the water tasted funky, and the words swam on the tablet’s screen.
Halfway through the flight, he figured out why. It took that long for the truth to worm its way up from the depths of his mind.
He’d walked away from his family.
His heart.
The absolute love of his fucking life.
He’d walked away from her.
Once he saw it, his partners, the Marchauds…everything else became background noise. And with every mile, the panic grew.
Because he knew her. Knew what she’d gone through. Of course, she’d freak out to learn that George was a woman.
And instead of reassuring her, instead of giving her the transparency she needed—I’ve never been attracted to her. I don’t see her that way—instead of easing her mind, he’d decided what they had wasn’t real, and he’d gone back to work.
As soon as he got off the plane in Ontario, he found the nearest empty seat and pulled out his phone. First, he called George.
She answered immediately. “Oh, thank God. I’ve texted you a hundred times. I messed it all up. I’m sorry. I was so nervous meeting my idol, and I couldn’t stop babbling, and I ruined everything. All I wanted was to let her know you’re a good guy and that she can trust you—I mean, you slept in the same bed with me as a teenager, and you didn’t make a move—but I made it sound like we were fuck buddies.”
That’s exactly what it sounded like.How could he have been so insensitive? His gut churned, and he felt sick to his stomach. What’s she thinking right now? He’d left her miserable and doubting his feelings. “It’s not your fault. It’s all on me. I did what I always do. I got my little baby feelings hurt, and I ran.”
He’d done it with his friends.
He’d done it with his mother.
And he’d done it with Marcus.
“It’s not baby feelings.” George got even more worked up. “Being kicked out of a friend group is one of those mile-markers in life, and I can’t even imagine finding out my dad wasn’t my biological father. But look at you. You’ve never let any of it hold you back. You just keep building your life and your career…I admire you.”
“I walk away. That’s what I do. There’s nothing to admire about that.”
“Everyone sees Booker, the smart businessman, but only a few of us get to see the real you, the man with a huge heart. And this time, with Lorelei, you showed her all of you. You fell in love. Of course you’re going to be triggered when it falls apart. Do you want me to go see her? I can set her straight.”
“No. I’m the one who needs to apologize. It was my job to earn her trust.” And if she’d let him, he would do just that. No more running. He would tell her as many times as she needed to hear that he loved her and that he knew without a shadow of a doubt there was no one else in the world for him.
“I shouldn’t have told those stupid stories,” George said.
“You’re right. I should’ve told them to her before she even met you. She needs transparency. I don’t think of you as a woman?—”
“Hey, now,” she joked.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know how you meant it.”
“But I should’ve told her everything, so she wouldn’t have had to make stories up in her head.”
“Okay, so what can I do?”
“I’m quitting.”
“No. Dammit, Booker. I told them this would happen if they didn’t let you work remotely, but they called bullshit. Said you had too much invested in this agency to walk away. But they didn’t see you with Lorelei and Stevie. You’re your best self out there.”
“I know.” The idea of going back to the concrete and steel world of New York City…it was unthinkable. In Calamity, he had wide open spaces where he could think and breathe. He had his friends.
Fuck. He had his friends back. He would never take that for granted.
And he had his daughter. There was no way he’d miss out on soccer games and dance recitals. No way some stepdad would be there to help her through her first breakup.
Not a chance.
“Are you going to start your own agency? Because there’s a noncompete clause.”
“If I were going to, I wouldn’t honor it. They can’t inhibit my ability to earn a living?—”
“Yeah, yeah.” George laughed. “I’m a lawyer, too. I get it. But really, what’re you going to do?”
What I was meant to do all along.“Work with my friends.”
“You’re going to take over ownership of the Renegades?” She sounded surprised.
“Yeah, I am.” A sense of rightness took over him.
All around him, passengers gathered, waiting to board. A man wolfed down a sandwich. A mom nursed her baby while she read something on her phone.
No one could see the monumental shift inside him.
“What’re you going to do about the Marchauds?” George asked.
“You know something? They can screw themselves. I gave them more time and commitment than any other athlete in my career. And then some dude comes along they don’t even know, and they buy into his crap when he bad-mouths me? They can go fuck themselves.”
For the first time, it became clear. As a kid, he’d suffered a trauma, and he didn’t have the maturity to call his friends out. Had he done that, he would’ve found out they’d tried to see him. That they still cared.
It had never been a mirage.
He’d iced out his mom over an omission. His parents made a choice. And whether he agreed with it or not, it didn’t affect the truth: his dad had loved him, and he’d had a pretty damn idyllic childhood.
No mirages there.
And yeah, maybe Marcus had preyed on his vulnerability after the loss of his dad, but that wasn’t a mirage. That was bad judgment during a rough time in his life.
“I’m done investing time in them.” He got up and headed to the desk to change his return flight.
Like Declan said, if he didn’t want a mirage, he had to give everything he had to the relationships that mattered.
“So, where are you going right now?” she asked.
“Home.” An electric warmth spread through him. “I’m going home.”
* * *
When she’d gotten the call from Slater Vaughn, the lead singer of Blue Fire, asking if she wanted to open for them at the Owl Hoot Summer Music Festival, Lorelei had answered with a resounding no.
She was exhausted from the wedding, devastated over losing Booker, and terrified she was irrevocably broken.
But then, as she’d headed into the conservatory to work on a song, the lights had gone off in her head.
For most of her life, she’d been driven to succeed in the music industry. Then, she had a baby and devoted herself to being a stay-at-home mom. She’d gone from one singular obsession to another.
Wasn’t it time to find a middle ground? Lyrics and melodies bubbled out of the eternal spring in her soul. They couldn’t be denied. And it was time to do something about it.
She could be a mom and fulfill her creative spirit.
So, she’d called him right back. She wouldn’t be the opening act—she didn’t have a band or a set—but she’d love to sing a few of her new songs. She’d finally reinvented herself, and she was ready to own it.
Now, she stood backstage at the amphitheater as the band finished its set.
“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Blue Fire!” the announcer shouted.
The audience went wild.
“Encore,” several people shouted.
“Come back, Slater fucking Vaughn,” someone called.
“We love you.”
The band headed offstage, handing off their guitars in exchange for the towels the roadies gave them to wipe the sweat off their faces.
Since they had very different styles, their paths didn’t cross much. Sure, they’d see each other at awards and festivals, but they’d only spent real time together at Gigi Cavanaugh’s recording studio here in Calamity.
“Still a heartthrob after all these years,” she teased the lead singer.
“Tell that to my six-year-old,” Slater said. “She told me she likes Cooper better.”
Cooper grinned. “Yeah, but that’s only because I slid her a lollipop when you weren’t looking.”
When Slater lunged for him, Cooper ducked, and everyone cracked up. “You laugh until you’re the one who walks on stage with a red lollipop sticking to your hair,” Slater said.
“I don’t know how you keep up with all this while raising your families,” she said, genuinely curious. Because she missed music and sneaking off to the bar or stealing a few hours a week in her conservatory wasn’t going to cut it.
“We all live on the same property in the mountains, so we raise our kids together,” Slater said. “We only tour every other year, and the rest of the time, we’re writing or recording. We make our lives as family-friendly as we can.”
“Otherwise, we’d quit,” Calix said. “Family comes first.”
“The only time we’re apart is for tours and retreats,” Derek said.
And there it was. Right there. Her heart pounded. “You ever think of doing one here in Calamity?”
“A retreat?” Slater’s gaze wandered to the mountain ranges surrounding the valley. “We haven’t but this place is cool. And it’s not too far from home.”
“Did you have someplace in mind?” Derek asked.
But the MC had just announced her surprise appearance, and the crowd had begun chanting, “Lorelei, Lorelei, Lorelei.”
She smiled. “I sure do.”
“You better get out there,” Slater said.
“We’ll be in touch, yeah?” Derek asked.
She answered with a smile because she knew she was going to make her dream come true. Knew it.
Waving to the audience, she crossed the stage to the piano. She didn’t have a speech, no choreography, just a hurricane of emotion she needed to work out. The crowd was going wild for her, but she had to block it all out and stay focused.
Once, it had been such a thrill. She’d mistaken the crowd’s adoration for love.
Now, she knew what real love felt like. It felt like her dad getting into her bed in the middle of the night after he’d heard her sobbing and hugging her until she fell asleep. It felt like Slick making a garland of popcorn for her when all he wanted was to be alone in his cabin. It felt like Stevie nursing in the rocking chair, her blond hair silver in the moonlight.
“Thanks so much.” She waved. “It’s been a while, so I appreciate that you guys still welcome me back to the stage. I’ve been working on a few songs. They’re different from what you’re used to, so you can let me know what you think.”
“We love anything you do,” someone shouted.
“Because we love you,” a woman called.
“That means more to me than you know.” As her fingers settled over the keys, roadies were busy getting ready for the next performance.
No, she didn’t have a band, and she didn’t have a set list, but she had her voice, her fingers, and a melody in her mind.
She shut out the noise, the crowd, and the expectations, and immersed herself in him.
Booker Hayes.
The love of her life.
The man she’d pushed away because she’d been too cowardly to trust him.
I can’t love you
I can’t want you
I just can’t
Because you cut and run
You don’t stay
You only see mirages
I am real.
I am love, I’m fire and pain
I’m bits and pieces forever broken
Can you see them?
Instead of running
Can you help heal them?
Love is staying
Love is working
Love is fighting
With each other and for each other.
I am real.
I am love, I’m fire and pain
I’m bits and pieces forever broken
Can you see them?
Instead of running
Can you help heal them?
From out of nowhere, her song took a new direction. One that felt so right, she closed her eyes and let the words flow.
If my scars map the loves I have lived
Then, I want you to be the destination
You’re my home.
Let me be yours
I know that you’re mine
I’m yours
And you’re mine.
There was absolute silence when she finished her song. But it didn’t make her nervous. She wasn’t writing for the fans of Lorelei Calloway. She was writing to understand herself and to fulfill her creative spirit.
She was about to get up, unsure if she wanted to share more songs with them, when someone shouted, “Holy shit.” And then, the audience broke into thunderous applause.
Her heart could barely contain the joy of knowing how much they loved her new material. But that wasn’t it, was it? That wasn’t the source of the joy.
The source was knowing her heart. Knowing she was a woman who could handle anything life threw at her and come out better, stronger, and more enlightened. It was knowing she’d found the one man—the only man—in the world for her.
She felt his presence as if he stood offstage, smiling at her, proud of her. She couldn’t help scanning the crowd for him, moving across faces with bright eyes and giddy smiles. But she didn’t see him.
That was okay. They’d find their way back to each other.
There was no doubt about that.
Just when she was ready to start her next song, her gaze snagged on a familiar face.
Landon. The child on his shoulders fisted and pulled his hair, his features red from a tantrum. Another child struggled to break out of his arms. Her ex looked haggard, and where the lowering sun glanced off the top of his head, she thought she saw a bald patch. Beside him, a very pregnant Cissy—her hair greasy and lank—shouted in his ear, her mouth in a snarl. He jerked away from her, but she yanked him back, pointing to her pregnant belly.
They looked miserable.
And really, who brought babies to a rock concert?
It was none of her business, so she went back to the piano and shared her heart with a couple thousand fans.
* * *
Turns out, there was a code for the gate. Only four people knew it, though.
Lorelei, Beau, Margot…
And now Booker, because Beau had given it to him.
He drove through, smiling like a fool. Ever since leaving town all those years ago, he’d been on a mission to prove himself worthy, to make his friends regret forgetting about him.
He’d accomplished everything he’d wanted. He had success, money…
Yeah, that was about it. Success and money.
What he didn’t have was friendships. Love. The good stuff, that was all here in Calamity.
But I’m back now.And finally, his head aligned with his heart.
He didn’t even know if Hellcat was back from the amphitheater yet. He’d caught her performance at the music festival, but he wasn’t sure if she’d hang around to see the next act.
If she wasn’t home yet, that was okay. He’d wait.
He had the rest of his life to win her back. And he’d do it. He’d never give up.
Their love was worth it.
When he reached the rise in the road, he noticed something new.
A white picket fence enclosed her home. That made no sense. When had she done that? He’d been gone a total of two days.
Moments later, he parked and got out of the rental car. Breathing in the pine-scented air, he headed up the walkway and rang the bell. Excitement had his heart spinning wheelies. He couldn’t wait to see her. More than anything, he wanted her to throw herself into his arms. He wanted to see her features light up, to feel the relief in her hug. He wanted her to welcome him home.
But if she wasn’t ready, he’d give her space. He’d buy a place not far from here. Or stay in her dad’s lodge. He’d be nearby, close enough to help her at a moment’s notice.
He’d earn her trust one moment and one deed at a time.
When no one answered, he turned the knob. It was locked, so he pulled out his phone to text her, but before he could hit Send, he heard her shouting.
“Moto. Moto. Dammit, Moto, get over here.”
Was she saying Moto—as in master of the obvious?
He followed her voice, and when he came around the side of the house, he saw a black, tan, and white furball racing in wide circles around the yard. Holding a leash in one hand and a dog biscuit in the other, Hellcat followed the puppy’s movement. “Look, Moto.” She waved the biscuit. “I have a yummy treat for you.” She stomped her foot. “And this is why I don’t have time for a damn dog.”
He grinned. “Not on your own, you don’t.”
She whipped around, her jaw hanging open when she saw him.
“Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?” he asked.
“No, I just got home. My parents will be here in half an hour with Stevie. What are you doing here?” Her dog whizzed past her. “Moto!”
“You named him Moto?”
“Yes.” Hope shone in those bright, blue eyes.
He couldn’t believe it. Not only that she’d named her dog after his dad’s call sign, but because she wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t—“You forgive me?”
“Of course, I do. We just both got scared, you know? I told you I got carried away with the idea of having a father for Stevie, and you heard, This is all a lie. God, Slick, I couldn’t have shoved you out the door harder. Look, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m an idiot. I know you didn’t sleep with George.” She reared back. “You didn’t, right? Not even once?”
“Not even?—”
“Don’t answer that.” She waved her hands. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what you did before me. I know you’d never cheat on me. I know you.”
The dog ran circles around their legs. They stepped closer together to get out of the path of the whirling dervish.
He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Hellcat, I’ve never slept with George. I’ve never kissed George. I’ve never seen her that way. And even if you need to ask me ten times a day for the rest of our lives, I promise to answer you patiently and honestly. You never have to be careful with me. You can tell me when you’re worried, and when you’re overthinking. You can be real with me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I can tell you she’s gorgeous, and you’re an idiot for not at least making out with her?”
“Trust me. She doesn’t want to make out with me any more than I want to make out with her.”
“But why? How? You’re both so hot.”
“I think we needed siblings more than we needed to hook up.”
“I love you.” She cupped his cheeks. “You’ve been so generous with your heart, and I’ve been stingy. With my ex, I felt like such a fool. Everyone knew what was going on except for me. The only reason no one said anything was because they wanted to be part of the Lorelei Calloway Band. But I’m not going to be stingy ever again. I’m going to tell you how handsome you are. How smart and clever. How good you make me feel. How kind and generous and loving you are. And how much I want you.”
The dog ran even tighter circles, forcing them to take yet another step closer.
“I love you, too. You’re the best person I know, and there’s no one else I want to spend my life with than you and Stevie and our five other kids.”
“Be careful there, Slick. You have no idea how much I want a big family. And where did you come up with five?”
“You can have six on the ice at a time, so we either have six kids or twelve.”
She laughed. “So, the man who didn’t want kids is good with a brood of twelve?”
“The idea of children doesn’t interest me. But I want a family with you.” He cupped her chin. “You make beautiful babies. Please make me more.”
Her grin was like a burst of fireworks in a midnight sky. It was an injection of joy straight to the heart. “My God. I didn’t know I could love someone this much.” She got that crease between her eyebrows. “But what’s going to happen with your career? I don’t want to hold you back from reaching any of your goals. I trust you to work with George—and any other woman. I really do.” Her eyes widened. “Of course, if you want us to move to New York, we can talk about that. Stevie hasn’t started school yet, so it doesn’t really matter where we live.” She glanced around her property, and he could read it all in her eyes.
“I love it here, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather raise our family. But sweetheart, I don’t care where I live as long as it’s with you. You’re my home. My happiness. My heart.”
“I’m such an idiot. To think I almost lost you.”
He shook his head. “Impossible. We’re meant for each other. And if winding up in that random cabin doesn’t convince you about that, then winding up in the same wedding party two and a half years later should.”
She laughed. “Oh, so Mr. Big Bad Businessman believes in magic, huh?”
“Now that I’ve met you, I do.”
Tears glistened, and she melted into his arms. “But what will you do here?”
“I quit my job, and I made an appointment with the attorney to take ownership of the team.”
Her features softened, and she pinched his hand. “Is this real? It doesn’t seem possible to have all my dreams come true.”
“With a love as big as ours, some hard work, and the help of a little magic, we’ll make our dreams come true. Together.”