Chapter 9
Tanner
Pauly groans from the couch, massaging his belly that’s overstuffed with the pasta Jones cooked. His T-shirt has peeled back, showing off the hair running down into his pants.
“Damn, I wish I only had an hour left,” Jones says, scrolling through his phone. I’m getting close to the end of my twelve-hour shift, but Pauly and Jones have another twelve hours after that.
Pauly agrees, and I smile, wiping out the pan we used and putting it away. Sure, the shorter shifts are great, but they only serve to remind me I’m not a permanent member of the team.
“Yeah, I’m lucky.” It’s been a quiet day, and after cleaning the firehouse and both engines, we drove around and conducted hydrant maintenance, before attending a call for a gas leak.
“Plans tonight?” Jones asks, tossing his phone on the coffee table.
I lean against the doorframe. “Something with Roo, I’m guessing.”
“How are things going with the best friend?” Pauly asks.
“Good as ever.”
“Everything’s back to normal then?”
“Yeah, just like it used to be.” I wonder what the guys would say if they knew we’re sharing a bed. And that Roo’s gay. Would they care? Would I care if they cared?
“Have either of you ever heard of the Kinsey Scale?” I ask, not sure why I’m asking.
“Sure.” Pauly nods, but Jones shakes his head.
“What is it?”
“Eh.” I rub at the old scar on my chin. “About gay and straight people. Anyway, I thought I was the only person who hadn’t heard of it.”
Jones frowns and swings around to look at me. “You gay?”
“What?” I laugh. “Nah, man. Someone I know was explaining it to me.”
“Roo?”
Surprise number two. “W-what? Why?”
“He’s always been into you.” Jones turns back to his phone.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Jones chuckles. “As if you didn’t know.”
“We’re friends,” I say, keeping my voice level. We’ve been dealing with this same closed-minded shit since high school. “Just close friends. It’s not a crime.”
“Yeah, I have so many close guy friends.”
“No one’s saying it’s wrong, Tanner.” Pauly sits up from where he’s reclining. “He’s being a dick.”
Jones pulls a face at his phone as Pauly picks up a pen and tosses it at his head. “We can all admit it’s weird, though, right?” Jones says.
Pauly is five years older than me, so he wouldn’t remember from school, but Jones definitely would. Being a year older, he’d know exactly how Roo and I were. Still are. Whatever.
“Why is it weird?” Again, my voice stays level.
“He used to follow you everywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had Royce Everett all over his notebooks and shit, like the girls used to do.”
“Awesome talk.” I whack him on the back of the head on my way past and throw myself into the spare armchair. Pauly resumes rubbing his stomach, and Jones sinks into his chair, letting his eyes fall closed. The whole time, I try not to pay too much attention to what Jones said.
Royce Everett.
I shake it from my head as I pull out my phone. There’s a text from Roo, and my excitement kicks up for a second before I read it.
Roo:
At the bar with Circus. Meet us here?
“Guess I’m going to the bar after work.”
“On a Wednesday?” Pauly asks.
“Roo and Circus are there.”
“Circus.” Jones snorts. “What kind of a name is Circus, anyway?”
“What kind of a name is Jones?” Pauly fires back.
“Everyone knows that dude is weird. I mean, people say he lives right on the trails, but have you ever seen a house out there? I sure haven’t.” Jones picks up the pen and lobs it back. “Sure you should go, Tanner? They might be on a date. You don’t want to crash that, do you?”
A … date? Normally I’m slow on the uptake, but even so, it takes me an embarrassingly long time to realize he could have a point. Roo is gay, Circus is pan … Are they on a date? My gut twists painfully.
“Nah, they said to meet them. It’s fine.” Fine. Totally fine.
Still, the next hour slips by in painfully slow increments, and just before it’s time to head out, we get a call to check on a precarious power pole down near Payto’s tree farm.
It’s a non-event, but by the time we get things roped off and an electrical maintenance team out, it’s another hour past my finish time.
We get back to the station, and I change out of my uniform as quickly as I can. The bar is only a block away, and I suddenly really feel like a drink, so I leave my car behind and figure I’ll walk back home with Roo.
The bar is busy for a Wednesday, but I immediately spot Roo and Circus. That gross, twisty feeling hits me again, making me pick up my pace as I weave around the few people separating us.
They’re at a tiny two-seater table, and Roo’s back is to me, so he hasn’t seen me yet. And like it always does when he’s around, my heart feels full.
I grab Roo’s chair and drag it out from the table. “Hop up.”
“Hey, Tanner.” Circus eyes me as I drop into the chair Roo vacated and pull him down onto one thigh. It’s more awkward than it used to be—not to mention he’s bigger now—but like with everything else, I assume it’ll take time.
“Your round?” I grin at Circus, who rolls his gray eyes, pushes away from the table, and leaves.
Roo shifts so his legs rest between mine. “Long day?”
“Just quiet.”
“I’m glad.”
“I’m not.” I link my arm around his waist as he props his elbow on the table and rests his chin on his palm. “I’m not saying I want a full-blown inferno, but enough call outs to keep us busy would be nice.”
“Yeah,” Circus says, sliding the tray of beers onto the table. “God forbid Sunbury’s golden boy takes a breather.”
“What’s the point of that?”
“Some people like to recharge.” He arches a long, dark eyebrow in my direction. “Especially when they have a cute man in their bed every night.”
My pulse kicks up at the word cute. “No problem there.” I pinch Roo’s side, and he smirks at me over his shoulder. “This ‘cute man’ sleeps sixteen hours a day. I barely see him.”
“Please. You’re the one who works all the time.”
“Someone’s gotta pay the rent.”
He drives a bony elbow into my ribs. “We both pay, asshole. And the rent is next to nothing.”
I hum as I rest my forehead against his shoulder, letting my eyes fall closed. The need for a beer has evaporated now that I’m here.
“Circus!”
I jolt and twist a little to see Jules hurry over. She’s carrying shopping bags, and Circus immediately perks up at her appearance.
“Here we go,” Roo mutters.
Jules grabs a chair from the table beside us, and Circus points to her. “See, that’s what most people do when there aren’t enough seats.”
Roo turns. Catches my eye. “Did you even think of that?”
“Seems excessive to me.”
Jules laughs. “Having your own chair is excessive now, is it?”
“Waste not, want not, and all that.”
“Next you’re going to be telling us it’s a fire hazard to have so many of these darn wooden chairs.”
“Well, it is. They’re practically kindling.”
“But two people to one chair is an evacuation hazard,” Roo adds.
My mouth drops open at him joining in with them. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Oh yeah? Says who?”
“Says …” I splutter. “Says always.”
Jules taps her chin with one pale-pink fingernail. “He’s right. I think this is the first time ever that you haven’t backed him up. Normally you’re like twins who share a brain.”
I snort. “Don’t you guys usually say it’s like we’re dating? Now we’re related. I’m concerned for you, because that’s creepy as hell.” I reach for my beer and take a long drink while Jules pulls something out of her bag.
“I got the plum one.” Her little squeal makes me jump, but Circus scoots closer.
“Hell yeah, let me see.”
And then I sit there and watch one of my closest friends put lipstick on one of my other male friends. I’ve never seen Circus wear makeup before, but when he reaches up to drag his longish hair back, I can kinda see why he’d want to.
“Roo?” Jules holds out the lipstick, and my hand automatically grips his waist tighter.
“Nah, not my thing.” I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or not, but then Roo continues, “Tanner will, though.”
I scoff. “Tanner will not.”
But he takes the lipstick anyway and turns around to face me. He clasps my face with one hand and holds the lipstick up menacingly. “Let’s see who’s a pretty boy.”
“I swear to God, Roo.”
“What was that?” He tilts his head toward me like he’s struggling to hear, and I get a noseful of his shampoo. His shampoo that smells like peaches and always fills my shower when he’s done in the bathroom. “Pucker up, buttercup.”
With a groan, I stop trying to pull my head back and relax. Roo smiles the moment he works out I’ve given in, and the next second, the thick crap is being smeared across my lips. The way his eyes light up tells me I look ridiculous.
When Roo pulls away, Circus starts to laugh. “Plum is not your color, man.”
“Duly noted.” I keep sipping on my beer, hoping it will come off, but by the end of the night it’s still smearing over everything.
We walk back home, Roo taking every opportunity to tease me the whole way there. He’s a little unsteady on his feet, and after a few beers, I’m probably not the most stable either.
“Catch up, princess.” He laughs as we turn onto our block.
“Why are you giving me so much shit but didn’t say a word to Circus?”
“Because he wears makeup all the time.”
“He does?” My feet stagger to a stop. “How much have I missed?”
“You aren’t a very observant human, are you?”
“Apparently not.”
He tugs at my shirt and gets me moving again. “Come on, can’t have a pretty girl like you walking the streets at night.”
I pull a long-suffering inhale through my nose. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Says the fireman wearing lipstick.”
He laughs again as we enter our building, and I follow him into the elevator, where I get a first look at my face.
“Holy fuck, you let me out in public like this?”
He presses the button to our floor. “I love you no matter how you look.”
“Well, you should since it’s your fault I look this way.”
“You’re welcome, Princess Peach.”
We get to our floor, and the doors open.
“Prepare to die.” I growl.
Roo darts out ahead of me. He’s struggling with the lock when I catch up, and just as I get my hands on him, the door swings open and he ducks out of my hold again.
“You let me walk around in front of people, looking like a dickhead.”
“You do look like a dickhead.”
I lunge for him, and he laughs, quickly sidestepping me until the couch is between us. “You’re gonna regret this.”
“You shouldn’t frown, you know. Why don’t you try smiling for Daddy?”
“Call yourself daddy again, and I’ll throw up on this couch.”
“And? It’s your couch.”
“Which you will be sleeping on.”
“You’re trying to be tough like I don’t know you.”
“How’s this for tough?” I jump at him and grab hold of his shirt before he can sidestep me.
He wriggles out of my grip, but I grab his shoulder, then manage to clamp my arm around his waist. Roo doesn’t give in easily, and we wrestle for a moment before I swipe out his legs and pin him to the couch.
I yank up his shirt and press my mouth to his back, over and over, until there’s dark-purple smears all across his skin.
“Tanner, you ass!” He bucks under me, unbalancing us both, and we topple to the floor. I scramble back on top of him before he can get away. With my forearms pinning his chest and my leg holding down his thighs, he’s not going anywhere.
“Nice try, grasshopper.”
He growls out a garbled noise that gets lost in his laugh. “You’re cheating.”
“You can add that to the changed column, then.” I press my lips hard against his cheek and pull away, leaving a giant plum lip mark. “Now who’s the pretty girl?”
He struggles beneath me as I cover his forehead, his nose, then bypass his beard and start on his neck. Asshole is going to pay for me looking like a clown all night.
“Okay, Tanner, seriously, that’s enough.” His laughing has died down, and I pull away a little at his tone.
“Shit, am I hurting you?”
“No, just …” He squeezes his eyes closed.
Then I feel it.
His dick growing hard against my hip, lengthening between us, and I glance down, completely dumbstruck at the feel of it.
“Get off.”
I throw myself to the side, still feeling brain-dead. Roo sits up, and the tent in his pants flashes at me a moment before he draws up his knees.
“Roo, did you …?”
“Can we drop it?”
For some reason I feel the need to laugh. I’m staring at where his groin was a second before, and I swear I can still feel it against me. And the more I try to forget the feeling, the more it’s imprinting in my brain. “You got a boner.”
The tension gets thicker, stronger, as my mouth gets dryer.
Then Roo starts to laugh. “What the hell did you think would happen?”
“What?”
“I’m gay. I was being held down by a hot guy who was kissing my neck.”
I blink. “Hot?”
“Shut up.” He shoves me lightly. “God, this is so awkward.”
“What? No. Fuck no. No awkwardness.”
He gives me a look, and okay, I’m being a little awkward.
I get it. But I also can’t really work out what I’m feeling right now. Is this awkwardness? “It’s not like we haven’t seen each other’s boners before.” We’ve just never gotten hard over each other before.
Oh God. I made Roo hard.
I made Roo hard.
We manage to laugh it off as we get up and go to clean up the mess of lipstick. I have to help Roo get it all off his back, and when we go change, he leaves the room and I’m one hundred percent, definitely not picturing his ass.
Because that would be weird.
Still, when we finally switch out the lights and climb into bed, I don’t fall right asleep. By the sound of Roo’s breathing, he hasn’t either. But I can’t lighten the mood, or start some bullshit conversation, because knowing me, I’d open my mouth and say exactly what was racing through my mind.
I made Roo hard.
And I can’t get the feel of it out of my head.