Chapter 10
Roo
The first thing I notice when I wake is that I’ve got the blankets gripped tightly to my chest, because the human furnace behind me is conspicuously missing. While most mornings that would be cause for alarm, all I can feel is relief.
Last night, things got weird. So far I’ve managed to do well at keeping a little distance between us, but the lap-sitting, the kissing fight … I shiver at the memory of his lips skimming over my body. Was it a surprise to literally anyone that I got hard?
It’s exactly zero surprise to me that I want to do it again. And again.
But I can’t keep springing spontaneous wood over Tanner. That’s a definite way to make things awkward fast.
No. It can’t happen again. And to ensure I keep things PG, I need to go out and work it out of my system.
I know of a few gay bars in Portland, but I have no idea if there’s anything closer. Sunbury is a fat no for the gay scene, but I’m not that keen to travel ninety miles so a random guy can pant all over my junk.
I groan and bury my face in the pillow. Which, of course, still smells like Tanner.
“Good morning.” The curtains are ripped open.
With a grunt, I slide the pillow from under my face and yank it down over my eyes. Douche.
“Come on, Royce.”
Ooh, he first-named me.
He tears the blankets off, and I scramble into a ball to maintain as much body heat as possible. “Why do you hate me?”
He takes longer than usual to answer. “There’s a lot to do around town. I figured you could come and help today.”
“Oh, Tanner, it’s like you don’t know me at all.”
His warm laugh makes me smile. I quickly push it away because this isn’t a situation I’m happy about.
A hand closes over my ankle, and I’m yanked from beneath my protective pillow to the foot of the bed. Before I’ve had a moment to blink the room into focus, Tanner hauls me to my feet. A garbled noise escapes me, which makes him laugh again.
“English, please?”
“Why are you torturing me?” I find my phone on the side table, and my eyes almost fall out when I check the time. “Ten a.m.?”
“You might just be visiting, but this isn’t a vacation. I’m gonna make you fall in love with this town again.”
I stifle a yawn behind my hand, my sleepiness made worse by knowing the ungodly time. “I was never in love with this town.”
“Then there’s a first time for everything.” His big hand drops onto my shoulder, and he steers me out of the room to the bathroom. “Now do what you gotta do and get a move on. Ms. Rasserman needs a tree removed.”
“And Sunbury doesn’t have any tree … removers to do it for her?”
“She doesn’t need a tree remover when she’s got us.”
I pout. I know it’s unattractive, but watch me not give a shit. “I’m not built for physical labor.”
Tanner grins, then reaches up to give my bicep a squeeze. “Actually, that one is already on the changed column. Don’t think I haven’t noticed these muscles you’ve sprouted. I may be unobservant, but I’ve still got eyes.”
“Okay.” The word falls out of my mouth without my permission. All I know is he needs to stop squeezing my arm like that and back up now before I stick him in the leg with something he never needs to feel again.
His thumb rubs gently over my bicep, and the few inches between us burn with energy. I want to press closer. Thankfully, I’m smarter than that and move back instead.
“There we go.” He pats my shoulder. “I’ll put the coffee on. It’s going to be a long day.”
He’s not kidding. When Tanner left the house in joggers and a T-shirt, I thought it was him being impervious to the cold as usual.
But now we’re here, I’m regretting the extra layers.
My jacket and sweatshirt have already come off, and my undershirt is bunched to the elbows.
There’s sweat in places there definitely shouldn’t be sweat, and after the constant tying and untying of ropes, my hands are burning in the cool air.
There is one giant highlight to this shithole of a morning, though.
Seeing Tanner shirtless, in low-slung joggers, coated in sweat as he tears a chainsaw through each tree limb.
The sawdust is caked to his skin, but for some reason, the filth—and hell, even the safety glasses—are really doing it for me.
I’ve been half hard since this whole thing started.
Ooh boy. My best friend is sexy as fuck.
“All right, give that rope a pull,” Tanner yells down to me. He swipes at his forehead as I yank on the rope, wishing I was giving something else a pull.
And there I go again. Damn, I need to get laid. Rubbing one out in the shower isn’t scratching that itch at the moment.
With a prolonged creak, the final tethers holding the branch in place groan and snap, and it drops to the ground in a loud rustle of leaves.
“Nearly done!”
We’ve got two branches left and the top of the trunk. It’s not like the tree is enormous, but it’s far bigger than I think we should be taking on by ourselves. Tanner ties off the top portion of the trunk, and the loud motor of the chainsaw fills the air again.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Keeping one hand on the rope, I check my messages.
Circus:
Try Strokers in Port Welling. It has a good vibe. Otherwise, there’s Monster Ball and the Deb just this side of Portland.
Port Welling is maybe a twenty-minute drive out of Sunbury, so a Lyft there and back shouldn’t be too expensive.
I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek as I slip my phone away and look back up at Tanner.
His back glistens with sweat, muscles tightening under his skin as he drags the chainsaw through the surprisingly thick trunk.
Do not make a joke about thick trunks.
It takes another forty-five minutes to finish up, and when we’re done, Ms. Rasserman brings us fresh lemonade, which I force myself to drink out of politeness. Any kind of lemonade that doesn’t include bubbles has no right existing in my opinion.
“Thank you, boys,” she coos, looking up at Tanner. “You’re too good for this town.”
“Nah, it’s not hard to help out. Right, Roo?”
“Exactly. I love spending my free time doing manual labor.”
She smiles at me while Tanner tries to keep a straight face. Thank God he’s the only one who can tell when I’m talking out of my ass.
It takes us way too much small talk, and me way too many inappropriate thoughts before we finally escape, and when we get into the car, it’s no better.
The smell of sawdust and Tanner’s sweat is making me light-headed, and after I suggest he takes the first shower, by the time I climb in, his body wash is all I can smell.
With a quiet groan, I give in to yet another unsatisfying jerk-off session before washing the mess off the shower wall and pulling on some sweats and a hoodie.
“I’m gonna cook a risotto for dinner, then head out for groceries. Want me to cook enough for you?” He’s not looking at me as he searches the small kitchen for everything he needs, and for some reason, guilt makes me shift uncomfortably.
“Don’t worry about me for dinner.”
He glances up. “You won’t be here?”
“I was thinking of heading out for a few hours. Want to watch a movie or something until then?”
My question doesn’t seem to register, since he asks, “Meeting up with Circus again?”
“Nope. Heading out on my own.”
He laughs. It doesn’t sound natural. “You don’t want me to come too?”
I drop back on the couch, watching him. “This isn’t somewhere you want to go. Trust me.”
“Oh really?” He folds his arms and leans into the counter between us. “I’m interested now.”
“Nothing interesting. Just a run-of-the-mill gay bar.” My voice hitches on the last two words, and I remind myself again that I’m not doing anything wrong.
In fact, if Tanner and I were together, I wouldn’t even need to go to a gay bar in the first place.
We’re friends, and sure, we used to do everything together, but it doesn’t mean we still have to.
“A gay bar?” He looks like I’ve hit him in the face with a frying pan. “And you don’t want me to come?”
I bury my face in my hands. “Oh God, you’re going to make me spell it out for you, aren’t you?”
“You’re going to find a hookup.” It isn’t a question.
“I … want to go for a drink.” Because it’s not as if I can tell him how desperately I need to get off.
“It’s a Thursday night. And Ugly’s is open.”
“A drink and a change of scene, then.”
He nods. Once. Again, it doesn’t seem like a natural reaction and more like how he thinks he should react.
“You okay?”
“I’ll cook you some risotto. I’m sure you’ll need it when you get home.”
There’s a definite tone there, but I can’t place exactly what it means.
He doesn’t sound pissed off or annoyed. It’s more that he’s trying to tease, but it’s coming out wrong.
Does that stop my heart from clenching a bit, trying to read into something that isn’t there?
No, it fucking doesn’t. Because my body is a dumbass.
Tanner gets the food on as I flip stupidly through channel after channel that refuse to hold my attention. It’s cold, but I’m already planning an outfit that will show off way too much skin, and if the night goes the way I’m intending, someone else’s body warmth will heat me up.
He ends up watching a movie with me, and when I remind him he was supposed to be ducking out for groceries, he grunts and crosses his arms. I’m struggling to work out if he’s pissed about me going out and not inviting him, or the fact that I’ve got a life he’s not involved in.
If it’s the second one, I’ll be annoyed, but I can’t help feeling weirdly happy about how grumpy he’s being.
I decide to wait until later to go out, so we eat dinner together with me chatting away happily as he answers me in verbal Morse code. I can’t drop my smile.
By nine o’clock, though, I can’t leave it any later, and there’s no way I can spend another night sleeping next to Tanner’s big body. Feeling his heat. Listening to his soft, steady breaths …
Yep. Time to go.
“Okay, I’m getting ready.”
“Really?” His voice squeaks. “I didn’t realize you were still going.”