Chapter 11
Tanner
Iwouldn’t say I’m nervous. Not exactly. There’s a weird energy pulsing through to my limbs that’s making my knees bounce. My lips are a bit dry too. My heartbeat a little fast.
It’s just a gay club, I remind myself for maybe the hundredth time.
We’ll grab a drink, Roo can go do whatever he needs to do, and I’ll people-watch.
Because he can say he’s not going to hook up all he likes, but I know him too well.
I know how his nose twitches when he lies, or the way he sometimes catches that freckle on his lip between his teeth when he’s debating something.
And it’s fine. I’ll leave him alone while he does whatever, and I’ll be there to make sure he gets home safely.
My hands tighten a little more on the steering wheel as I struggle to swallow.
It takes under twenty minutes to get there, and even less time to find a parking spot and be let into the redbrick building. Unlike the bar in Sunbury, there are no windows to see inside, and as Roo leads the way down a flight of stairs, it’s obvious why.
The bar is a far cry from the Ugly Mug. And for a Thursday, it’s packed. Well, at least for a small bar, there are a lot of people here.
“The lights won’t be a problem, will they?” I ask him.
Roo shakes his head. “If I can party my way across Europe, I think I can handle anything Port Welling throws at me.”
A DJ thumps obnoxious music into the room from the far side, behind a wall of gyrating people.
Roo steers me toward the bar, and I barely register the walk over.
If I thought Roo’s shirt was pure advertisement for the lean body he’s built since we were teens, what some of these other people are wearing is practically pornographic.
Though, having never been in a club, I have nothing to compare this to.
A guy brushes past me with a shirt barely long enough to be called a shirt.
It covers his shoulders and nipples and nothing else.
A woman at a tall table by the bar is wearing a fishnet top similar to the one I looked at earlier and no bra, and it takes me a full two seconds of staring at her tits before I realize I’m staring.
I hurry to look away, and Roo catches my eye.
He smirks and pushes me up to the bar, closing me in with his body.
“Eye-opening?” he asks by my ear. His arms hold the bar on either side of my waist, chest flush against my back.
“It’s definitely something,” I mutter, flagging down the bartender.
My heart still hasn’t remembered its usual rhythm, and the distracting beat has my nerves on high alert.
He pushes his lips to my ear, and my lungs work overtime to suck in the warm air. “Remember, no staring at the women. Most aren’t interested anyway.”
“Can I stare at the men?”
His mouth opens and closes a couple of times. “That’s what we’re here for.”
Our drinks are set down in front of me, and after tapping my card, I spin in Roo’s arms. “Better give the people what they want.”
Our eyes catch. He doesn’t back up. “No breaking any poor gay hearts tonight, Tanner. Sweet, straight men are like kryptonite for some of us.”
I swallow, but a weird burst of confidence makes me step in closer. “Does that make you Superman, then?”
“That would imply you make me weak.”
I can’t drop his stare. Not until his tongue darts out and swipes over his lip, over the freckle. Then I can’t look away from there either.
Roo’s hand wraps around his drink, and he finally steps back and leads me across the room. The music is louder by the dance floor, and I can barely hear the thoughts twisting through my brain. I can’t peg what it is, but whenever Roo says the word straight, I want to argue the point.
Which is crazy, since I’m not gay. I have one hundred percent confirmed sex with women does it for me. But … I glance around the room at the people here, all of them so different, and it occurs to me I’ve only ever really taken notice of women.
My palm feels clammy against the cool condensation of my beer glass.
Where better than here to do a little test?
Trying not to be obvious about it, I turn my attention to the men on the dance floor.
There are hard jawlines, flexing abs, corded necks, and round asses.
My gaze dips farther on one of the guys right by us, and I give myself a second to take in the curve of his calf muscle. I’ve always liked calf muscles.
I quickly look away, feeling a little hot in the cheeks as I hurriedly take a gulp of my beer. Roo is watching the dancers too, and I find myself wondering what his type is.
“Anyone catch your interest?”
His hazel eyes flick back to me, and he nods off to the left. “Big guy over there.”
I follow his gaze to find a blond man made of pure muscle. I can confidently say I don’t find him attractive in the slightest, and I’m not sure what Roo sees in him.
“Not good enough for you.”
Roo laughs. “I’m not here for a life partner, Tanner. I just want someone who’ll get on his knees.”
My cock twitches. I ignore it. “What makes you think he will?”
“I’m basically a lumberjack. You showed me today how to bring down a tree. Rope him, and give a good tug.”
I cringe at the mental imagery. Roo with anyone isn’t something I want to picture.
“You’re sizing him up pretty hard,” Roo says. “Yes, big tough men like him can be gay too.”
“I wasn’t thinking that at all.”
“Uh-huh.” He runs his fingers over his hair, checking it’s in place. “Hold this for me?”
His drink is in my hand before I can object. “What are you—”
“Give me half an hour, and I’ll be done.”
“Ah.” My throat suddenly feels thick. “So you are here to hook up.”
“I’m going for a little dance. If I disappear for fifteen minutes, don’t come looking.” He winks, walking backward toward the dance floor. I have an overwhelming urge to grab hold of him and pull him back, but I resist. My gut turns over itself as I finish my beer.
Roo walks right over to the guy he was sizing up, and a second later they’re dancing together.
Or … Well, that’s definitely more than dancing. He turns Roo and pulls him back against his chest as Roo’s hands link around the man’s thick neck.
Because my beer is finished, I drink the rest of Roo’s Scotch too. It burns, but even the harsh taste isn’t enough to dislodge the lump in my throat. Roo’s eyes are closed, lips parted, and I can’t tear my eyes away from his face.
Or the way the human fucking tree reaches up to tweak one of Roo’s nipples. A bolt of lust spears me right in the groin, at the same time as my jaw clamps tight.
My body thrums with the need to walk over there and yank that asshole away from Roo. He’s my best friend. He’s my … Well, he’s mine. So yeah, it’s totally normal to feel murderous when someone else has his attention. When their hands tighten on his hips and their teeth catch his ear.
“Hey, cutie.” A pretty guy with dark roots and bleached hair blocks my view.
“I’m straight.” I activate the words like a shield, hoping to get this guy to move on.
He lifts a drawn-on eyebrow. “Is that so?”
“Very so.”
“Hmm …”
“What?”
“Oh, nothing.” His pretty lips close over his straw. And I’m noticing them. His lips. A man’s lips. “I’ve never seen a straight guy staring so hard at a bunch of dancing gays.”
“I’m not staring.”
“Sure you’re not.”
Well, I’m not now. Not since he blocked my view. “I’m here with my best friend.”
He laughs. “Best? What is this, high school?”
“If it were, it’d be simpler,” I mutter.
“And now you’re growling.” He finally steps aside, following my line of sight. “Well, I highly doubt you’re checking out the wannabe-German-aerobics-instructor, so I’m going to put my money on the cute guy he’s dancing with.”
My mouth goes dry. Roo takes that exact moment to look over, and we stare at each other for a beat before the guy next to me slings an arm around my neck and runs a finger down my face.
“What are you doing?” I gasp as he turns me so my back is to Roo.
“Helping you.”
“With?”
He glances over my shoulder. “He’s watching.”
“Who is?”
“Wow, you sure are slow on the uptake. Move your hips.”
“Umm …”
“Dance. Show that man of yours you have moves.”
Still not completely caught up, but at least sure the guy doesn’t seem to be hitting on me, I try to relax and move a little to the music.
“That’s better.” He glances over my shoulder again. “Oh, he’s even stopped dancing. Now, what is happening between you two?”
“Me and Roo?” I go to look back, but the guy grabs my face.
“First rule of making someone jealous: never look. Second is: grab my ass.”
“Yeah, I’m not doing that.”
He laughs, straight teeth flashing at me. “A guy can try. He wouldn’t see anyway. But he would see if I grabbed your ass. All I need is permission, and I guarantee he’ll be over here in a second flat.”
“You think?”
“I know. But the question is, do you want that?”
Did I? I feel my forehead wrinkle up under the force of my confusion. Yeah, I want to get Roo away from that guy, but what happens when I do? He finds some other guy to dance with? What’s the point?
“Better decide soon, honey. Big Bad is putting the moves on him.”
“Why are you helping me?”
“I get to dance with a ‘straight’ hottie.” He winks. “And once your man is back where he belongs, there’ll be a horned-up man mountain I can make a move on. Like your guy, I have a thing for big and blond.”
I swallow. “Okay.” I don’t mean for my voice to come out so husky, but he doesn’t give me a chance to rethink. As soon as I agree, his hands close over my ass, and he squeezes hard.
“Tanner?”
I jump at Roo’s voice, surprised to find him already beside me.
“Bye, honey.” The guy’s hands leave my ass, and he brushes a kiss over my cheek and darts off.
“Roo … I thought you were—”
“What the hell are you doing?” Roo cuts in.
“Dancing?”
“Dancing? With a man?”
“Isn’t that what guys do in these places?”
He looks like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or smack me about the head.
For some reason, seeing the indecision pulls at my lips. “So come on.”
“Wha—”
I grab Roo’s hand and pull him toward the dance floor. I’m not sure what he thinks of this, because I’m not even really sure what I think of this. All I know is I wanna dance with Roo, and I’m not thinking about it more than that.
“This is … different,” he says as I wrap my arms around him.
“Not like it’s the first time we’ve danced together.”
He immediately smiles, and I’m glad, because that’s what the memory of prom does to me too.
We’d all technically gone as one big friendship group, but Leon was with Dahlia, Rafe and Laura had just gotten back together, and Circus took some girl he then disappeared on early.
So it was Roo and me. And I swear, it was like no one else existed that night.
I’d known our days together were numbered, and I’d known that once he left, things would change forever.
I’d also known that when we danced like the other couples—despite laughing and joking like dickheads—people were watching.
Judging. But by that point, I didn’t care.
By that point, I was too focused on the fact that it was my last chance to have fun with him.
And tonight I’m doing what my eighteen-year-old self would have wanted me to. I run my hands over his back and draw him in close.
“Tanner, what are you doing?” He buries his face into my shoulder.
“I just wanna dance with my Roo.”
He laughs and looks up, hazel eyes meeting mine. “Your Roo?”
It sounds even better coming from him. “Yes.” I touch my forehead to his. “And I’m your Tanner.”
“My Tanner.”
“Are you gonna repeat everything I say?”
“Sorry, I’m …” His smile unleashes, and he presses his body against mine, hands snaking around to grab my ass. “If you’re mine, I guess I can do this. Since apparently you’ll let any guy.”
I swallow roughly. “I guess you can.”
He leans in, beard scraping my jaw as his lips rest against my ear. “You can grab mine too, you know.”
Right. Because it’s not weird. Because we’re best friends, and we’re in a gay club, and we’re dancing together. My nerves are thrumming as I skim my hands lower, over the round globes of his ass, until it rests in my palms. My hands squeeze without permission.
God, it’s so round. I let out a shaky breath, feeling every line of his body as it moves against mine. Our shirts are sticking to us with sweat from the heat of the club, but I don’t let him back up. His legs slot between mine, and the friction of his thigh against my crotch is too much for me.
Roo’s breathy laugh hits my ear. “Always trying to rub it up against me, aren’t you, big guy?”
“I, ah …” I try to shift my hips back as my cheeks grow warm, but Roo tightens his grip on my ass.
“Don’t worry about it. Think of it as an occupational hazard of coming to a gay club.” Then he rocks his hips forward, pressing his erection against my leg.
Oh, shit.
I stumble back a step even as my body screams to get closer. “Okay, umm, well …” I pretend to air out my shirt. “I think I’m all danced out. Are you”—I gesture at the men around us—“done, or …”
Roo narrows his eyes as he adjusts himself, drawing my attention to the noticeable bulge in his shorts.
I snap my gaze away again, even as my heartbeat starts to thrum in my ears.
“I guess I am.”
“You guess, or you are?”
“I am.” He grabs my hand and starts to lead me away from the dance floor. I can’t help watching the way his ass moves, silently kicking myself that I put an end to things so quickly.
But I need to get out of here.
This place has messed with my head, and clearly, I’m suffering from oxygen deprivation down here or something.
“You want to go?” he asks.
“I think I’ve seen what I needed to.” Which is a total understatement, but I’m at the point where I can’t take anything else in. I’m standing here, half hard over my best friend.
That’s a mind fuck all of its own, and even noticing his collarbones, the ridges of his pecs, is making me feel pervy and kind of gross. “Actually, I really need to go.”
He doesn’t question me. Just squeezes my hand tighter and holds it the whole way back to the car.