Chapter 16
Roo
It’s one of Tanner’s rare days off. He doesn’t have to work or help out anyone, but instead of relaxing like most people do, he drags me to the pool again.
“Haven’t I been here enough?” I moan playfully.
He smirks as he holds my gaze and slowly peels off his shirt.
No fair.
Tanner has to know what he’s doing to me. Since his proposition earlier, he’s gone out of his way to be close to me. And he’s not even trying to be subtle about it. I’ve been paying very. Close. Attention.
He makes his way to the side of the pool, and my gaze is stuck on his ass in those tight swimmers. I’ve always loved the way his swimmers cup his dick and balls, and oh shit, I’m getting hard again.
I quickly strip out of my clothes, jump in, and swim over to sit on the step, where I watch Tanner dive in.
God, he’s flawless. If he’d ever left Sunbury as a kid, I have no doubts the Olympics would have been an achievable goal. He had coach interest and everything, but ultimately decided that wasn’t the life he wanted.
Seeing the power in his arms as he swims freestyle down the pool sends a shiver through me. I really need to give some thought to his question, though. Because letting Tanner experiment with me goes way beyond anything I’ve ever done before.
Most of the time it’s fine—the “curious” guys get what they want, I get off, and then they freak out and fuck off.
With Tanner, the freak-out and fuck-off part scares me.
Even worse would be if we hooked up, he decided he liked it, and then he went out and found himself a boyfriend.
Urg, the pain.
And maybe I’m being dramatic again, but it actually hurts.
Tanner pops up in front of me and blows a stream of water right into my face.
“You’re disgusting.”
My insult does nothing to his smile. “Mmhmm.” He moves closer and wraps his arms around my waist.
Fuck, it feels good.
“Swim time, Roo.”
I pretend to snarl and act like, Oh no, don’t smoosh me against you, but I cling to his neck like I never want to let go.
Because, accurate. We drift along for a while, Tanner moving his arms in lazy strokes while I lie over his torso like it’s a life raft.
His face is so close, I can make out every little imperfection of his scar.
I’m about to lean forward and kiss it when Tanner says, “Tell me about gay sex.”
Huh?
“Hello, random,” I say.
“Is it, though? If we’re gonna do it, I should probably know what’s up.”
Do … it. Faced with the prospect of Tanner’s dick, it’s like I’m suddenly a blushing virgin. I swallow past the nerves. “What do you want to know?”
“Obviously there’s hand jobs and blowjobs and anal. Anything else I don’t know about?”
“Tan, there’s a whole queer world out there.” I shake my head as I realize I’m going to play along. “Fine. But so you know, this isn’t all gay-specific either. Loads of people do blowjobs and anal, rimming too.”
“Rimming?”
“Don’t tell me you’re twenty-three and have never heard of rimming?”
“Not like I discuss sex with people a whole lot, and I can’t read, so …”
“And you can’t learn this from porn?” Please? Because if this conversation keeps up, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stick to my resolve of giving him a couple of days to think about it.
“You’re supposed to be teaching me.” His stare drops to my mouth. “I wanna hear it from you.”
Fine, then. I’m going all in. “Rimming is where you eat out another person’s ass and fuck their hole with your tongue. Frotting is where you rub your cocks together until you come. Docking is where you cover one guy’s dick with your foreskin and jack off.”
Tanner’s eyes have widened, and it makes me smile.
“I …” He swallows. “Don’t have a foreskin.”
My smile gets wider. “Luckily, I do.”
“And do you like that?” His voice has dipped, got a bit huskier, and I love the sound of it.
Still, this questioning is dangerous territory when the last thing I want to think about is the men I’ve been with who aren’t Tanner. “Think you want to try it?”
“I’d try anything with you.”
Is that so? Time to test him a little bit. “Would you let me fuck you?”
“Yes.”
Where I’d been trying to catch him off guard, apparently it’s me who’s completely surprised.
The thing is, experimenting is all about testing the waters, and it always comes with a heavy dose of uncertainty.
There was nothing uncertain about Tanner’s answer.
My mouth has gone dry, and while I want to tease him and push a little more, I’m not so sure I could handle it. My dick is half hard already.
Tanner glances quickly around the empty pool, then leans forward and lightly brushes his lips over mine. “I don’t want to wait a few days.”
“You can’t be sure—” I don’t get to finish that sentence, because Tanner shifts me until his very solid proof is pressed against my thigh.
“I’m sure.”
His unwavering stare turns my gut to jelly. I want nothing more than to reach down and take his cock and make him feel good. But even I have enough self-control not to push my luck in a public place.
“Wanna go home?” he asks.
Hell yes.
I’m not sure what to expect the moment we’re through the front door, but Tanner doesn’t give me any time to question it. He dumps his bag and backs me into the wall.
“This okay?” he asks.
Look at that, my voice is still gone. I nod so hard, I almost headbutt him.
Lips land on the corner of my ear, my temple, my cheek. The quick, light kisses start to slow, linger, and the subtle change makes my excitement flare.
Tanner pulls back, and his hands move to cup my face. He studies my features, thumb brushing over my cheek as my gut ties itself in knots.
Fuck this.
I grab the collar of his T-shirt and tug. Our lips crash together, and my heart stops at the feel of his mouth against mine. He’s completely still for all of a few seconds, and then I run my tongue over his lips.
It opens the floodgates. Tanner pushes closer. His kisses are stronger, more sure, and his mouth coaxes mine open so his tongue can sweep forward and run over my own.
My moan is completely fucking unwelcome until Tanner echoes the sound, all rumbly and deep in his chest. It makes me light-headed.
He tastes like salt, and I want to give in to all these feelings, but that cynical side of my brain kicks in.
I slow the kiss down, not wanting to pull back, but breaking away from him enough that I can talk.
Except the second my tongue is no longer in his mouth, he ducks his head and starts to drag openmouthed kisses over my neck.
“Tan …” God, that feels incredible. “Tanner.”
He pauses, lingers, then slowly pulls away. His eyes are all unfocused, and his big lips are shiny and swollen. “Is this … is this still okay?”
“You have no idea.”
His beautiful face breaks into a smile that lights up his eyes. “Why are we stopping?”
“I wanted to slow things down a little.” I want to know how the hell I’m going to get through this without getting my heart torn out.
“What for?”
“Well, since you’re, umm, experimenting, I think it’d be a good idea to work out some ground rules. You know, to make sure we know right from the start what this is.”
“Yeah, good idea.”
He’s staring at my mouth, and it makes my gaze drop to his shiny, pink lips.
We actually kissed.
And he wants to do more.
We need to have this conversation, when all I want is to get on my knees instead. But I need to be careful here.
Because while I sure as hell am going to let him do all the experimenting he needs, I’m also well aware it’s going to wreck me.
And I’m jumping right into the deep end anyway.