Chapter 31
Tanner
Holy fucking shit. My heart is in my throat as I head for the medical offices in town. Leon said it wasn’t an emergency, but Roo being checked over for a concussion is always an emergency in my book.
I have no idea what he was doing with Leon, or in Port Welling, but apparently he’s okay, so that’s all that matters to me.
Dr. Grivick is clearly expecting me because Cam, his admin, sends me straight through to the back. Since Sunbury doesn’t have a hospital, Grivick is it, and his office has been kitted out with every piece of equipment he can get his hands on.
Roo’s sitting up on the bed, and he looks pissed, which is really only one step up from the expression Leon’s wearing.
“What happened?” I demand, stalking closer.
Roo won’t meet my eye. “Seized out again. It’s nothing. This is all a giant waste of time.”
“Your health is never a waste of time,” Dr. Grivick says. He has a way of sounding soothing and chastising at the same time.
“Seconded. Now how the hell did you hit your head?”
“On a chair.”
“Okay, someone needs to start from the beginning.” It’s moments like these I hate my brain and inability to keep up.
Roo groans. “We were having lunch, I seized out as we left, and hit my head. It was nothing, but Leon insisted on bringing me here.”
“Because that lump makes you look like a big gay unicorn.”
Roo flips him off and runs the other hand over a very obvious bulge on the side of his head.
“Jesus, Roo …”
Grivick crosses his arms. “Normally bumps to the head aren’t a huge deal, but since I know Royce’s history, I also know how serious it could have been.”
“Could have, but wasn’t,” he fires back.
“It looked serious,” Leon mutters.
“They always do,” I agree.
Roo’s sigh is heavy, and I get why he’s annoyed at all this attention, but for fuck’s sake, I’m allowed to worry.
“How serious could it have been?”
“Any kind of knock to the head after a brain operation needs to be looked at thoroughly. Royce is a few years post-op, and the hit wasn’t too bad, but seizures are unpredictable.”
“Mmhmm …”
“Royce!”
“What, Tanner? I know all this shit. I’ve heard about nothing else for the last five years and even longer. I hate being treated with kid gloves.”
“No one’s treating you with kid gloves. Everyone in this room only wants to make sure you’re okay. That’s not a crime.”
“And I am. I’ve sat here like a good boy and been checked out, and literally all I want is to go home.”
I’m mad at him for not taking this seriously, but when he looks at me like that …
I get it. I get exactly where he’s coming from because I’ve been there with him since the beginning.
He’s told me every little thought he’s ever had about how his epilepsy makes him feel, and I’ve always struggled between giving him what he wants and making the smart decision.
“Is he allowed to go?”
“He is.” Dr. Grivick eyes Roo. “I’d recommend he gets some kind of ID, though.
A medi bracelet or necklace. If Leon had taken him somewhere in Port Welling instead, or if he hadn’t been with Leon at all, well …
” Grivick shrugs. “EMTs and nurses and doctors are only human, Royce. We can’t treat what we don’t know about. ”
Roo’s pouting now, because he knows the doctor is right. My hissing little kitten has retreated, and I know Roo’s exhaustion has well and truly kicked in.
Leon and I wait outside while Grivick discharges Roo.
“That was scary, man,” Leon says. “I mean, he’s been a bit spacey all day, but I thought he was just feeling conflicted over the job.”
“What job?”
Leon’s eyebrows jump up. “He hasn’t told you yet?”
“I had no idea you were even meeting up.” I refuse to let the little spark of hope take hold. “You offered him a job?”
“I did. And he signed, but I’m seriously questioning whether he even knew what was happening. We’ll probably have to go over it all again.”
I’m only half following. “You okay?”
“Yeah, it threw me for a second. I saw it happen once or twice at school, but I don’t think you’re ever prepared when it kicks in. And honestly, I had no clue what the hell to do. If it had lasted much longer, I would have called an ambulance.”
“I’m just glad you were there.”
Leon leaves, and after assuring Grivick that I’ll be home all afternoon and night to keep an eye on Roo, he finally lets us leave.
Roo is sulking. He barely even looks at me as we walk to the car, and while this mood is an attempt to try and force my distance, it makes me want to say fuck the distance and crush him up against me.
But I know the mood won’t last long.
He’s too tired to keep it up, and as much as he pretends he hates emotion, he’s also way too needy not to want my attention.
I wait until we’ve driven home and walked back inside before I bring up what I’ve been wanting to say since we were at the doctor’s office.
“So …”
He slams into me, arms around my waist and face buried in my chest. “Not right now,” comes his muffled voice.
“I know you’re tired, but—”
“Later.”
“Roo.”
“Tan.”
I ease him off me and steer him toward the couch. He’s so tired, he’s like putty in my hands. “You can’t keep avoiding it. I know you hate those bracelets. I know. But dammit, Roo. Today could have been so much worse.”
“I was fine when I—”
“Traveled around Europe, went to uni, lived in Australia … I get it. You were fine. You were also fine today. But all it takes is one moment where you’re not fine, and I will not wait until then to be like, Oops, maybe you should have been wearing one.”
He stares at his hands and doesn’t answer.
“I’m not letting it drop this time.”
“You’re like a dog with a bone,” he mutters.
“Because it’s important.”
“It’s not important. I don’t need it.”
“But I do. I can’t constantly worry about what’s going on with you when you’re not with me. I can’t carry that to the station with me or to work. I need to know you’re okay if something like this happens again.”
He sneers. “The bracelet isn’t going to protect me.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot. I know that won’t happen. But there’s a reason they exist, and since your seizures are so infrequent and impossible to predict, you probably need it more now than when they were happening regularly.”
Roo glares across the room. “They’re annoying.”
“You’re annoying.”
His glare turns to me instead. “Can we talk about what I need? Because that’s you not busting your ass at a volunteer position all week.
It’s you going to your boss and getting the help you need.
It’s you not constantly underestimating yourself, not holding yourself back from trying in case you don’t get it anyway. ”
“This isn’t about me!”
“Wake up, Tanner. It’s the same damn thing.
I hate the fucking bracelets because they’re a constant reminder of how easily my brain can mess up on me; they mark me as different and make people think they can question me.
I hate it. The reason you won’t ask for help is because it makes you feel vulnerable, and news flash, it’s the exact same for me. ”
I sink onto the couch beside him, and even though we’re arguing right now, he immediately wriggles closer. “We’re talking about your health. That’s way different.”
“And you don’t think your health will be affected if you keep working yourself into the ground?”
I hate how easily he turns things around on me. How easily he can outsmart me. I’m lucky he only does it when it’s important.
“I get it,” I finally say.
“Good.”
He shifts closer, and I wrap my arm around him. When he flicks my nose, I smile, knowing this argument is over. “We didn’t actually resolve anything,” I point out to him.
His front teeth tug at his bottom lip. “Maybe … Maybe we should make a deal.”