Chapter 22
Rowan
After the shoot, we have the rest of the afternoon off. I’m already tired from all the excitement, but Circus doesn’t let me creep back to the hotel to sleep. He insists we do the tourist thing.
I guess we can sleep when we’re dead, but that seems like a long way off.
“And look what I brought,” Circus says, pulling a Polaroid camera out of his backpack.
I laugh and take it from him as we approach the Hollywood sign. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever used one of these before.”
“I rarely do. But every now and then they’re fun to mess around with. I have a bunch of film we can use today, and then another lot for … later.”
My ears perk up at his tone. “What’s happening later?”
“We’re going to be working on your gay comfort levels some more.”
Huh. I don’t know what to say to that. My dick is letting me know it’s on board, but my head still feels funny about it.
Should I be concerned at how easy it is for Circus to be sexual around me?
I shake that thought away. I know it comes from a place I’m trying to ignore. Wanting to get naked as often as possible with Circus isn’t because of some loose morals mentality; it’s entirely because of how I feel about him. Which is a lot.
And I swear it goes both ways.
Because it’s impossible to believe he doesn’t feel the same way when he looks at me like that.
He reaches his hand back behind him, and I take it. I let him lead. I’d follow him anywhere.
“Come down here.”
We walk down the grassy hill to a point he’s happy with. He hesitates a moment, then looks up at me with the most sheepish expression I’ve ever seen on his face. “Are we okay?”
The lying. When I’d first realized what he’d done, I’d been pissed. It’d made me look stupid, and I felt bad taking his money, but if he can forgive me for something much bigger, forgiving him for this is nothing.
“We’re definitely okay. But you can’t hide things from me just because it’s more convenient. We’re, well, business partners, I guess. We need to trust each other.”
“I get it. But I meant what I said about not wanting the money for this job.”
“I don’t understand. If you don’t like spending your parents’ money, why don’t you make your own?”
He shrugs and looks out over the valley. “I have, but it all feels tainted now.”
I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your parents so young. I hate that he had to go through that. Stepping forward, I pull him closer until I can wrap my arms around him.
“Good pose.” He goes to lift the camera, but I take it from his hand.
“No posing. Just let me hug you.”
And he does. His hair feels warm against my cheek from the afternoon sun, and he smells like a mixture of the makeup and hair products they used on us.
“Look at you, being all affectionate in public.”
I pull back and kiss his temple. “To be fair, it’s not like anyone is around.”
“Now can I photo?”
Like I’d ever say no to him.
We take nice shots and pull faces, and Circus turns around and pulls his pants down just enough to reveal the top curve of his ass cheeks.
I take the photo quickly, then admire how his warm brown skin looks in the sun.
He catches me staring, and I don’t try to hide it.
“You wouldn’t be checking me out, would you?”
“Shamelessly.”
He winks and pulls his shorts back up. “Come on, then, lots to see.”
I swear by the time we’re done, it’s like he’s dragged me all over the city.
All the places have started to blur together, but we’ve got a pile of Polaroids to refresh my memory.
I flick through the pile and pause at the one of Circus’s ass.
It’s a tease of what he’s hiding under his clothes.
“I’m keeping this one,” I tell him as we step into the elevator back to our hotel room.
He laughs. “Oh, honey. There’ll be plenty more where that came from.”
“Meaning …”
“Just wait and see.”
He takes my hand again, and it’s amazing to me how much easier that’s become. To hold hands and hug him to me. To let myself feel that rush of nerves, that sweeping high whenever he’s around.
All the good that’s come from my time with him is making it so hard to believe that loving him could be a bad thing.
“Go and sit on the bed,” he directs as soon as we’re back in our room.
And like every time we’ve taken photos together, I’m obedient.
I kick off my shoes, dump my things on the bedside table, and then sit back against the pillows.
Circus tosses the camera onto the bed beside me.
“The only rule is, no touching.”
“Wha—”
He reaches up and slowly starts to unbutton his shirt. We both watch his long slim fingers as they move, and then Circus glances up and hooks me in his stare. “Are you just going to sit there and look at me? Or are you going to work?”
Work … I look at the camera, and what he’s planning makes sense. This isn’t going to be like any shoot we’ve done before.
I take a deep breath and meet his eyes again. “Keep going.”
Then I start to take photos.
The hint of his chest through his open shirt.
Click.
The bare plains of his back as he lets his shirt slowly slip down his arms.
Click.
That delicious V that curves over his hips and disappears from sight.
Click.
I lick my lips as he exposes more and more skin, pretending as though I’m not here. And he knows how to work the camera. Every angle makes his body look like art, and I’m glad he made the no-touching rule clear, because my hands are itching to reach for him.
He pops the button on his shorts, and I suck in a breath. Hold it. Watch greedily as he turns his back to me again. His thumbs slide under the waistband of his shorts, and he slowly pushes them from his hips and down over his thighs.
I remember to breathe.
To take another photo.
And when Circus turns back to face me, the erection straining at his briefs tells me he’s just as turned on as I am.
He poses a few more times before he gets to work on what I’m waiting for. He runs a hand over his cock, before reaching for his underwear. And when he starts to push them down, he catches my eyes again.
I can’t look away until his eyes fall shut and he straightens, arms hooked over his head and angry red dick on full display.
It’s the first time I’ve seen it properly. Sober. No drunken haze. And I commit the sight to memory before I lift the camera again.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” I breathe. I’m beginning to get concerned I’m going to come in my underwear again. And considering I’m not a teenager anymore, I’d prefer to avoid a repeat performance.
I stand up. “Get on the bed.”
He does as I say, tight body moving so fluidly as he crawls onto the mattress and slides forward to lie on his stomach.
And he better have a shitload of film for this thing because I’m prepared to take photos all night. My breathing is so heavy it fills the otherwise quiet room.
“On your back.”
He rolls over. One arms rests above his head while the other runs slowly from his chest, down his tight stomach to rest on his cock.
“Stroke yourself.”
Seeing him follow every direction I give him is beautiful. I’m so turned on I can barely think straight, and the fly of my jeans is pressing painfully against my dick. I’m a little scared to suggest it, but I need to get naked.
“I want one more, then it’s your turn. Roll back over. Leave your face on the bed, and get up on your knees.”
Heat burns in his expression as he watches me for a second. Then he does exactly as I’ve asked. I watch the deep groove of his spine move sensually as he rolls onto his front, and when he pushes to his knees—
“Holy shit I wanna touch …” I lift the camera, noticing my hands have finally started to shake. But there isn’t an ounce of fear standing in my way, only lust so heavy and deep I could sob.
I greedily drink in the sight of him open and exposed for me, putting himself on full display in possibly the most vulnerable state I can imagine.
My eyes roam from his hole, along his taint, to where his balls are hanging heavy between his legs.
OhGodIneedtotouch …
I take a photo from the back, from the side, then climb onto the bed on my knees and take one of the way his waist dips in before flaring out to his round ass.
Then I drop the camera beside him.
Circus takes photos of me as I start to undress, and when I finally drop my briefs to the floor and wrap my hand around my cock, it’s instant relief.
My moan tears from me.
“Lie down, spread your legs, and jerk yourself off.” I do it automatically, because it’s easier to follow directions than try and think right now, and with every click and whirl of each photo, I’m able to block the sound out.
All the teasing, all the photos, all the views of Circus’s body have me aching and needy and more ready to come than I ever have been in my life.
My hand moves faster, and I’m barely aware of Circus moving around the room until a heavy thump hits the mattress beside me.
“Shoot is over,” he says, voice even huskier than usual. Then he leans down, looks me straight in the eye, and says, “Now I’m going to suck your cock.”
The sound that leaves me isn’t actually human and definitely not intelligible. I snatch my hand away from my dick and watch as Circus bends down and wraps his lips around it.
The heat, the suction … it has to be the greatest feeling that exists in the world, and my cock is in heaven.
It’s instant relief to the insane aching, and as Circus picks up his pace, I wrap my hand through his hair and grip tight. He works me over like no one’s ever done before, and I can’t stop my hips from thrusting up to meet him.
My mind is a complete buzz of pressure, wiped clean from every other thought I’ve ever had, and when Circus takes the entire length in his mouth, it’s all over.
My orgasm crashes into me, and it’s a good thing I’m lying down because I’m not so sure my legs would hold with the way I’m shaking.
Before I can recover, before I can take a moment to let the thoughts creep back in, I tackle Circus onto the bed, slide down his body, and wrap my lips around the head of his dick.
He’s already leaking, and the precum tastes kind of salty. I have no idea what I’m doing, but all I know is I’m done being a twenty-four-year-old gay man who’s never had the taste of cock on his tongue.
I shut down the voices trying to push through now that my brain isn’t humming with pleasure and focus on being present and making this as good for Circus as I can.
I moan as I work him deeper, sucking and bobbing and rolling his balls in my palms, until my dick starts to perk up again.
But this isn’t about me.
This is how that first blow job he gave me should have gone. I should have pushed him into one of the classrooms and returned the favor, but back then, the voices were too loud.
Here, now, he’s consumed me, leaving almost no room for anything else.
“Rowan … fuck, Rowan, I’m going to come.”
I pull back a little, and the feel of his cum hitting the back of my throat makes me gag. I try to swallow as much of it as I can, but I clearly need a lot more practice because we both end up a complete mess.
Circus slowly sits up and pulls my face up to meet his.
When he kisses me, I swear the world stops.